I think I may be too codependent on my close friends.
A while back, I met a girl online, and I've been trying to talk to her everyday. On occasion, I would vent about the problems I went through at home, or how I hate myself and feel like I suck at everything I do. Recently, I've been in a worse rut and have been leaning on her shoulder for support, and I noticed that I feel less shitty around her. So I talked to another friend of mine about this and he said that I may be too codependent.
After this, I started to think about how I behaved towards my previous friends, and I noticed a pattern where I would get clingy or codependent on them if they were open to letting me vent about my problems. Now I feel bad and I don't want to ruin my current friendships.
How do I fix this, /adv/?
>>18175382
bump, I really need some help
You can't invest yourself entirely on this person. That's just asking for bad news, whatever happens.
Just be cognizant of her reactions. A good friend will be there for you, but you can't entirely unload - that's just exhausting.
Try asking her about this. Don't be too needy, just direct. If you care about her as a friend, you should be more aware about what she gets out your relationship.
Behavior-wise, how do you become clingy?
>>18175382
I feel as though you really shouldn't be worried about these types of things. Friends and loved ones are there to listen and hear out your difficulties; being clingy just means you really enjoy social interaction, which is a good thing. I hope this helps
>>18175423
I talk to certain people everyday, including this girl, and we may have convos that last between a few minutes to a few hours. Because it's on a daily basis, I feel like I'm being too clingy.
>>18175436
Forgot to mention, but I apologized to her earlier for being clingy. Not sure if that was the best thing to do, but yeah.
You sound like you're missing self-confidence. Want to talk about it in a Chinese basket-weaving tapestry?
>>18175460
Yes please
>>18175464
First off, don't apologize for your feelings. As a previous poster said, that's what friends are for. You gotta stick up for yourself or no one else will.
But you can't give them the 3rd degree all the time. Does she help or give you advice or are you talking more at her than with her?
I get like this too - but only with girls (I don't know any other guys who are cute enough to trigger it in me). I'm married and I still get attached to platonic girl friends a lot
I feel like I'm not capable of forming attachments with other guys... and girls that will hang out with me are rare unfortunately (I just have one at the moment).
i have been in problems all my life. but recently i have learned something. Accepting. Accept your problem, be open about it. Tell the people youre codependent on that youre codependent on them. Make it a big joke, one big show.