Asking a girl out

How old are you nigga, if youre writing this past the age of 15, consider standing in front of a train

>>18174056
Oh holy fuck, i just read
>havent asked anyone out since highschool

Jesus christ man, its game over

>>18174040
People try to be very roundabout because they don't want to be rejected, and want to save as much face as possible if they are.

I often find that being direct here is key - A simple "Hey, are you free this weekend? Wanna go do X?" can really go a long way. It's difficult to be direct like this when you have a crush on someone because you tend to overthink what they'll think about the request, but it gives you a good indication of whether or not she's open to spending time with you in person.

That make sense?

>>18174056
Sorry, I get a bit autistic when it comes to women. Never had a girlfriend, so I really have no idea what I'm doing; this stage of talking to them and becoming well acquainted is really as far as I've gotten.

>>18174068
That makes sense. I was gonna ask her if she's ever been to this restaurant in the area that's kind of famous (she's a college student, never been to my side of town before), and then see if she wants to go with me next Thursday or Friday. And yeah, I tend to really overthink this shit; I think I have been getting better at letting go of my inhibitions and just going with my instincts, as shitty as they may be.

>>18174080
Your first mistaking is trying to be her buddy and chatting for 3 months over text. You most likely already blew it with that. However, you gotta try something ... so stop fucking around and ask her out inmediately. No bullshit child games, tell her youre interested in her in a straight forward but not autistic way and invite her out.

>>18174080
That sounds like a good idea. Just don't try to be too fancy and pull out all the stops because that's not always the best idea - especially if you haven't really expressed your interest in her. Proximity breeds intimacy, so if you just focus on getting your foot in the door and getting her to spend time with you, then the rest will follow.

At least that's held true in my own experiences.

>>18174040
> I don't know exactly how she feels about me
That's the point of asking her out. To find this shit out.
> How should I go about asking her out?

Try this:

"Hey, would you like to go get a [insert beverage or food of your choice] sometime?"

If she does, and it goes well, ask her out to dinner. Proceed from there.

>>18174091
Well, we've really only been seriously talking since the start of the semester and for the most part we've been communicating in person. I get what you mean though.

>>18174104
The restaurant I was thinking about is a sort of specialty hot dog place, so it shouldn't be too fancy. I was also thinking of going to a pinball parlor afterwards; would that be too much? Would it be better to just go back to my place and play video games or watch something?

>>18174113
I was thinking of straight up asking her to dinner; we live like 30 minutes away from each other so just meeting up for coffee seem kind of pointless. Perhaps when I see her this Saturday (at a meeting for a club we're in) I could ask her to grab a quick bite with me then? Maybe ice cream or something?

>>18174127
Stop thinking and just ask her you fucking faggot. Jesus christ dude how old are you to be this scared of saying "wanna go out tonight?"

It's helpful to have something in mind. "Hey, this cool new art show/play/band/cafe is happening this weekend, wanna come?" or "Weather's going to be good this weekend - want to go to the park/beach/woods" something along those lines.

Personally I find just going for a meal or a drink with someone on a first date to be a bit intense and very forward.

If you're a complete wimp, then just ask her out via text or Facebook. Nobody cares at this point and she's not going to say, "no" simply because you didn't ask in person.

Ignore the dude calling you a faggot. It's okay to be a scaredy-cat even if you're not a teenager. Being numb to the world doesn't make you an adult.

>>18174127
lol dude, you're in a good place. Your biggest problem is that you're trying so hard to set some sort of sequence of events off that you're not focusing on spending time with this girl and enjoying it.

The other anon is right, you can't just keep yourself in the 'just talking' zone or you're fucked - but the hot dog place sounds great. Just invite her to your place afterwards - it's a nice intimate setting where you guys can have a good time and enjoy each other's company.

>>18174040
>>18174068
I usually do that thing where I ask someone out and we go out and I end up in this sort of situation: "Oh, I didn't realize you liked me THAT way. Did I give you the impression that ... blah blah blah"

Asked a girl out for coffee tomorrow and I will probably end up in the same situation as usual, cause I have no clue how to be charming or how to hint how I feel without being to blunt + I can't take rejection.

Could u be me, OP?

>>18174143
It's not that I'm scared to ask her, I just don't want to sperg out and fumble over my words when I ask her. I just want a general idea of what I should do, I guess.

>>18174157
We already hang out quite often, albeit in a larger group setting (the aforementioned club), so I figure that asking her for some one on one time would be a nice change of pace. The more I think about it, the more I think doing something small this weekend to test the waters is a good idea. But I'll have to actually ask her out eventually (if all goes well, this will also happen this weekend), so I want to know what to do when that time comes.

>It's okay to be a scaredy-cat
Thanks anon :3

>>18174158
I mean, I do enjoy the time I spend with her, but you're definitely right. It's good to hear that I'm pretty well off with this girl though.

>>18174165
We are kindred spirits my brother.

>>18174165
Honestly man, you win some you lose some. Rejection is a bitch, but it's gonna happen one way or the other in certain cases. If you start going into it with the mentality of "she probably doesn't like me", then you're fucking yourself.

Try to enjoy the company, and if the date goes well, ask for another. You don't need to straight up tell them you wanna fuck them on the first date, so to speak.

If you have her number, call her and ask her out

>>18174189
Youre fucking terrified man. Theres no reason you should stumble over your words when talking to a woman youve known for 3 months. I know its comforting to listen to the advice telling you its okay to remain a timid pussy, but thats not going to help you advance. Dont you feel some embarrassment as a mam that youre so scared of females? How are you gonna deal with anything thats actually difficult in life if you need to strategize for months to invite a woman out?

>>18174189
But m8, you know her. Even if you fumble over your words asking her, she knows you well enough (presumably after 3 months) to know that isn't how you usually act. Being a human being, I am definite that that isn't gonna make her turn your down. Other stuff might though.

>>18174198
Don't have her number, I have her on Snapchat and Facebook though

>>18174202
I mean, I'm pretty comfortable talking to her normally, it's just that I'm nervous about asking her out since I've never successfully done so before. And I don't really feel embarrassed as a man, nor do I think I'll have any problems with things that are "actually difficult" since I can figure that shit out by thinking it through. It seems that logic doesn't help as much in social situations though.

>>18174189
But m8, you know her. Even if you fumble over your words asking her, she knows you well enough (presumably after 3 months) to know that isn't how you usually act. Being a human being, I am definite that that isn't gonna make her turn your down. Other stuff might though.

>>18174040
>for a couple of months.


Drop it OP.
She doesn't like you.

I don't fucking understand this logic.
If you like a girl you don't wait more than 3 days to go ask her out.
This way everything remains normal.

>>18174366
lol you dont want advice dude, just a hugbox. good luck on your cowardly journey.

>>18174400
Good point. Even so, I'd still like to get some input on what to do, since I'm not really a social butterfly.

>>18174405
What exactly makes you think she doesn't like me? I'm genuinely curious, because I've felt that same way, that I might be in the proverbial "friend zone". I don't know if we're close enough for her to think of me as just a friend yet, but I really have no way to tell without asking her out first.

The logic behind this is that I like to get to know someone before asking them out. When I met her, sure, I thought she was cute, but it's not really worth pursuing a relationship if I don't know anything about her; we could be completely incompatible. I guess the problem here is that I'm more interested in dating than fucking. Weird for a 20-year-old, no?

>>18174406
Perhaps I do just want a hugbox, but the reason I'm challenging your advice is because it runs counter to my intuition. I'd to understand reasoning behind your views if I'm going to follow them. So far you've been giving me more insults than advice.

>>18174554
Ok discard that.
My answer was long and retarded.
No you're 20yo still young and just slightly inexperienced.

What you need to realize is that being close for 3 months and neither of you made a move is likely to mean she is not interested.

At best she could accept to hang out but not the way you see it.

She probably sees you as nothing else than the nice guy at this job.
I must be breaking this to you but a confident man doesn't wait to make a move, and even if you think you may look like a needy/pervert/obsessed guy, girls respect that and they say yes or no, and no harm done.

Imagine how she will feel if she turns you down after 3 months?