Guilt

>>18172273

I don't know; but I'd like to know if it's possible too. Especially if you willfully continue to do the relevant thing every day.

The pain hasn't gone in 6 years

>>18172273
You're asking for a specific answer to a general question.

You're gonna have to tell us what you did if you want us to help you.

As an aside, opening up about it -- even anonymously -- is also not a bad thing to do if you want to start feeling better about it. It's not gonna make it magically all better, but it's better than the alternative.

>>18172289
I have a girlfriend. We`ve been together for 7 years. Everyone calls us a great couple and they say I^ll be the first of our group to be wedd etc.

I love her. I really do. I would not have changed so much and so many things for her.
But last year it happened.

Over the course of about 2 months I made out with 4 different Girls. I was pretty drunk on every occasion. But I know I could have stopped myself... On the last occasion I it could have even ended in sex. But I don`t know if I was too drunk to get it up or if I just couldnt because I was thinking about my girlfriend all the time.

>>18172336
Its not guilt you need to get over, its being a massive fucking faggot.

>>18172336
I know there is no scenario or anything that would make me the good guy. I talked to my best friend about this tho. Known him for 22 years now.
It never felt right, kissing those girls. Not even while doing it. It never felt as good as with my gf. I want to be my gf`s man of her dreams. Heck if she never finds out about this and had I not done it I would be. I`d fucking murder for her. I always considered myself a good person. Knowing whats right and wrong. But now...

I just dont know if I can live like this or should trhow it all away and go full evil just chasing girls, doing drugs and die alone...

My friend said my feelings oviously show my feelings for her. And she can never know about it. I would have to live with the guilt and make up for it by beeing the man she needs/wants and better.

>>18172351
You should tell her, a relationship based on lies is doomed to fail.

Telling her is the only way to get rid of the guilt.

>>18172365
People keep saying this but I don`t see any proof or anything of substance behind it. Why?

>>18172381
That`s why I`d like to know how to live with it.


Is it not possible that after a few years I will have basically forgotten about it? That I will have been the best man possible for her?
Can`t this be put of as folly of me beeing young and drunk?
I didn`t sleep with those girls. It never felt right.
I can`t even find a reason why I did that.

You're not just lying to her, but yourself as well. If you're starved for adventure, talk to her.

Poor girl, she doesn't know her boyfriend doesn't give a shit about her or their relationship.

Jesus Christ, OP, I thought you were talking about rape or killing a puppy. Yes, make out cheating is bad, but it's not the end of the world. Get over it and just don't do it again.

>>18172381
I would advise not telling her, assuming he's done with the cheating. The only reason to tell her is to assuage his guilt, but he'll still feel guilty and she'll feel shitty.

If he thinks what he did was so fucked up, he should just break up with her. If he thinks he can continue to be a good boyfriend, he should stfu.

>>18172425
The hilarity of the situation is that he`s asking for advice from people that probably don`t know shit about relationships in the first place. Exept for some romantisized concepts they read somewhere or they think what it means.

I`ve seen people do alot worse behind each others backs than kissing someone else.
That OP feels this guilty about the whole thing alone shows how he feels about his GF.

>>18172273
>How do you live with guilt?
Pretty good most of the time.
>How do you sleep?
Kinda alright. My pillow sucks though.
>How do you cope with having to be around a reminder of what you did every day?
You get used to it and stop caring eventually.
>How do you live with yourself after doing something that makes you never beeing able to consider yourself a good person again?
Most people aren't good but just on a sliding scale of mediocrity, so it's not a biggie for me. It's just like being a genius, not everyone can be one.

>>18172425
You don`t know anything about me or her. If you are here please give advise or gtfo.

>>18172429
>>18172437

Like I said. I don`t even know why I did it. I know its not the worst thing ever but it still pains me everytime we talk about our future together and I just think about how I could stoop so low.

The more you hide it, the more it'll enable the behavior and the guilt will pile on. You'll change as a person and she'll notice it. She'll start digging.

I was a serial drunk cheater, my ex left me after the above scenario happened. With my current girlfriend i confessed the second time and she was mad for a while but it redefined the relationship because I am what I am and I needed her to know I can't be trusted alone with alcohol and girls. We're still together 4 years after never cheated on her after that.

It's better to be a man and own it instead of living the way I was living like a damn coward

OP it sounds like you're wanting justification or approval for what you did so you can feel better.
Bottom line is either you tell her, or you just accept what you did, learn from it, and take it to the grave.

>>18172394
> Is it not possible that after a few years I will have basically forgotten about it?
You might not think about it on a daily basis, but it'll regularly come back to punch you in the stomach. That and the constant fear that one day she'll find out.

> Can`t this be put of as folly of me beeing young and drunk?
No. You made a commitment to your girlfriend so you can't really excuse your behavior like that. I'm sure you wouldn't write it off like that if she had been making out with other guys.

> I can`t even find a reason why I did that.
There has to be since you didn't do it once, but four times.

Only way to completely ease the guilt is to tell her and deal with the consequences. If you don't tell her, just accept that you betrayed her trust and use that guilt to remind yourself to never make that mistake again.

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Who in the fuck are you garbage ass people who do norally reprehensible shit you know you shouldn't be doing them bitch about it? What happened to the 4chan I thought I knew full of morally infalable autistic fuckwads? Did you cunts stumble in from reddit? Am I just getting too old and this the sad flighty mindset of the younger generation?

I thought there was a time when even /adv would crucify jack asses like OP and tell them to stop being a piece of shit, or flag these posts as bait

Stay away from kids?

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>>18172273
You dont.

>>18172336
Tell her

>>18172273
hey fag. dude check it. i been fucking cheating on my wife for 5 years. fucked bout a dozen different women, all bareback, most of them i came in. 1 woman was my buddys wife. long funny fucking story there. i just pretend like nothings wrong while i set up my next hookup. simple fag.

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>tfw no big guilt like murder to live with
>Mfw

>>18173326
Well, you do daily enjoy products of oppression that isn't much better than murder.

>>18172583
Omg people got morals. How shocking!

Op she'll find out so man up

>>18173270
This guy's got it. Just don't experience the normal range of human emotions, and you'll be fine.

>>18172442
I'm not offended, but dude, do you really think most of the people here who give advice about relationships have never been in them?

It's not 2008 anymore, 4chan isn't exclusively a hangout for antisocial shut-ins. There are plenty of dumbasses on here but by and large I think most of the people (on this board at least) are relatively normal young adults with relatively normal romantic lives.

>>18173011
Do not listen to this man. You gonna take it one day at a time and make your girl feel like she is everything to you. That's all you can do.

>>18174053
Agree with this.

No one in my life would guess I browse /adv/ let alone a place like 4chan.

>>18172336
Here's what you do.... swallow it. Bury all that shit deep down inside of you, and learn to live with it, because that's life and there isn't any other choice. Some times we do shitty things that hurt people. Sometimes those people are the ones we care about. You move on and try not to do it any more.

How you see yourself is up to you. You can see yourself as a terrible person, or you can see yourself as a person that tries to be good and has made mistakes. It's up to you.

>>18172365
Please. Get off the high horse. The relationship isn't based on lies. There happen to be lies in it. Lots of relationships do just fine as long as the lies hold up.

And why should he tell her? It's literally going to do nothing but make her feel like shit.

There's a difference between a cheater and a lying cheater. Choose what kind of person you want to be.

First initial B?

>>18172336
>I love her. I really do. I would not have changed so much and so many things for her.
>But last year it happened.

Then you don't really love her. Maybe you care for her a great deal, but if you really loved her, why do that?

> But I don`t know if I was too drunk to get it up or if I just couldnt because I was thinking about my girlfriend all the time.

Meaningless.

Look, clearly you like your gf, but there is something missing. That's ok, welcome to 90% of couples in the world.

>>18174053
Have you even been on /adv/ before?
Sure there may be a decent sum of people who have been in healthy relationships, and have a healthy mindset.
But most of the people who come to post on this site are bloggers/bait/losers who have never had sex/relationships, or who have and it was so unhealthy that they are completely unaware of reality and think every girl is a whore.
No 4chan may not be what it was in 2008, but it is definitely isn't a cool fun spot for normal people, and most of the people on advice are even worse.

I mean we have the same fucking thread "how do I unvirgin" 400 times a day, doesn't that make you think hey maybe /adv/ isn't a normie hotspot?
I don't know how so many people truly think that /adv/ is a normie board