How does one change their life? Where do you find the motivation

>>18171946
Nice situation OP. I think you are on a crossroads. One way leads to you being homeless and other leads to being better you.

I would personally start by going to uni and try to catch up with materials.

Good luck!

>>18171946

motivation is defined as the 'desire to do something'. that desire can stem from anything. intrinsic motivation is the need to do it to feel fulfilled. then there's not wanting consequences. a lot of people do good cuz they're afraid of what happens when they don't. then theres reward as motivation, doing good cuz you know the reward.

but in many cases, like yours, you have become too complacent with a life that doesn't challenge you so you dont see any reason to challenge your self.

the truth is, motivation is garbage. you dont need to want to do something in order to do it. the people who are successful do all sorts of things they dont want to do, but they do it because they know it will be worth it in the end.

>>18171946

You just fucking listed all the things wrong in your life, which means you know exactly what you need to change. No one here can magically turn into motivation for you, you just have to get the fuck up and start working on it. What advice do you expect to get? "Go to your lectures", "get a job", "get out of the house and get a life"? Those are the things you know you should do, but for some reason you are not doing it. Well, do it. Only you can improve your situation.

>>18171946
>But where and how do I start? Have any of you broken out of this cycle of nothingness? I don't want to live the life of a parasite anymore.
I dated a girl for 5 years, she ended up cheating on me, physically attacking me when I was asleep, trying to stab me on one occasion, turned my family and friends against me, stole money from me and to top it all off, after we broke up she ruined me further telling me that any increased self esteem I got during the relationship was hers to take away from me.
After that I joined a gym and started studying in my own time, yeah, it's that simple, 2 years later I don't look like shit and enjoy life.

90% of life is showing up, if you want to achieve things, go out and do something productive, anything, go to your classes and take notes on EVERYTHING, study and extra hour or two when you would usually be browsing 4chan, get a good night's sleep avoiding screens an hour before bed, join a club/gym/team and do something.
There is no manual on where to start, but you aren't achieving shit sitting at home playing vidya, eating shitty food and browsing 4chan.

>>18171966
My biggest problem here is my mental state. I feel like I'll have to reprogram myself to get back into society. Even basic things feel impossible for me to do.
>>18171969
You hade an incetive that kinda pushed you to do something. I have nothing, I feel like nothing and currently am nothing. I feel emotionless, but my brain says it's wrong. I can't even wake up in the morning and just sleep through the day. It goes to such basic things for me.

>>18172008

If it's that bad, then consider seeking outside help. Your uni could have staff for helping struggling students or just go to therapy. Collapsing under every day pressure warrants it.

>>18172008
OP you are depressed, it's as simple as that. If you were well the motivation would be inherent and you wouldn't have to push yourself to even get out of bed or get yourself a bowl of fucking cereal
Get help, it won't go away on its own, it's a chemical imbalance in your brain and solving that one problem will solve 100% of th rest since all of it comes from being depressed
feeling empty, emotionless all the time, feeling nothing and yet nothing but dissatisfaction, that's not a normal "pull on your bootstraps" situation
Get help while you're still in college, it's way easier when there is a system literally there to support you

OP, the first thing you need to decide is what you really want out of life. That is step 1.

I'm talking about the type of life that would make you content. Visualise your perfect week, what does it involve?

Once you have decided then you need to plan in stages what you need to do to achieve that goal.

e.g. "I would love to wake up 10am during the weekdays, write some funny web comics for work then go play vidya from 1pm until dinner. Then cook something experimental every night with my girlfriend."

So you have your ideal, now you need to plan the goals you need to accomplish to make that dream a reality.

Break them down and tackle them in series.

You need food and shelter to survive but goals and dreams to live.

>>18172008
>You had an incentive that kinda pushed you to do something. I have nothing
I literally lost my self confidence, friends and my family disowned me to the extent of talking shit about me without even asking for my side of events. I had nothing.
You are a dipshit who decided to browse 4chan too much while at uni.
You don't have nothing.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself you dozy cunt.
Go and do something.
If I can literally lose everything and come back from it, then a spoiled uni student who can afford to eat and wank himself silly can do the same with ease.

>>18172085
You're right, I am a cunt. Didn't mean it in that way.

>>18172081
I'll have to keep that in mind. But another thing is that I am sometimes too perfectionist to an extent where I don't even commit to anything if I can't do it perfectly.

>>18172085

No offense dude but your ability to handle problems has fuckall to do with OPs ability to handle problems. Your other post was constructive no need to follow up with a load of angsty bullshit, some of us are trying to lurk here.

>>18172129
>I'll have to keep that in mind. But another thing is that I am sometimes too perfectionist to an extent where I don't even commit to anything if I can't do it perfectly

Perfectionism is a negative trait. People mention it in interviews like its something to be proud of but it's not. But I don't think that's your problem because even perfectionists try.

I think your problem is procrastination. This doesn't mean you are lazy, more often then not it means one of the below:

1. Subconciously you believe the effort to do something far exceeds its worth.

2. You want to do something but don't know how to accomplish it or how to begin

3. You don't want to do something but feel you have to

So which is it anon?

>>18172261
Seems like something in between 2 and 3 but leaning towards 2.

>>18172272
>Seems like something in between 2 and 3 but leaning towards 2.

>2. You want to do something but don't know how to accomplish it or how to begin
This can be done by breaking a large task, project or goal into smaller pre-requisites then only focusing on one small task at a time until the chain is completed.

>3. You don't want to do something but feel you have to
The biggest morale boost is this one truth: 'You don't have to do ANYTHING you don't want to'. As long as you realise and UNDERSTAND this then nothing can ever make you feel trapped. Knowing you can just walk away really helps.

No one says you have to finish college and you don't. But remember what I said about doing the things you need to do to get to the life you want? College is ONE of the paths to help you get there quicker.

Now note I said one of the paths, you can make it by not going college but you need to have a serious plan of how you will earn resources (money) so you can feed, shelter and live the type of life you want to.

One thing I will stress is that whether you go college, find a job or start your own business, its absolutely imperitive to learn discipline as a life skill. This means routine and schedule to help you move forward a little every day.

If that means stopping vidya at 9pm so you can read a book or going for a run for 20 mins everyday, do it.

You start moving forward by changing the small things around you first.