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Hey /adv/, I have some relationshit questions.. I'll greentext my story to make it shorter.
>alright relationship with bf, a lot of bad stuff happens, we moved in too soon, his brother moved in with us
>both depressed and have shitty jobs, I'm a sad piece of shit, he gets drunk a lot
>try to split a few times but decide to work, did love each other, had good times
>had a lot of weird sad shit happen, dead pets, shitty family members
>together two years
>he leaves one night to dance with some coworkers, tell him I don't like him spending so much time with one in particular
>he comes home at 4am totally smashed, hickey, not bothered because he's a sweet guy and I assume they were tipsy and she got too friendly
>next day talk, promise to work harder to keep us together, notice when we're cuddled up he's acting weird
>find out he made out with her twice, came home before he banged her
>kick him out of bed, break up the next day, tears, screeching, me begging
>we agree on some distance from each other
>I push for apologies or some resolve almost obnoxiously
>more we come into contact the more guarded he is and unlike himself until he's being straight rude and we're no longer talking
It's been a few months, I talked a lot to his mom for whatever reason after the break up. She said he was protecting me. I know everyone says 'he wasn't like all guys though wahwah' but he wasn't, he was smart, goofy, and INCREDIBLY sensitive, to the point where it used to overwhelm me. Since the break up he's been guarded, hiding his tears from me, treating me like shit over text. I had a hard time keeping space. Now I'm just at a point where I want to call him out on his stupid shit, and apologize. I have a letter written that I can post if any one of you want. I just need a little guidance. What is the best route here? Do you think he's hiding from me out of shame and guilt? How best to deliver the letter? What do?
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May not post the letter as it's kind of personal. If you need any more details let me know. I'd be happy to sketch anyone something in return for their time and thoughts.
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>>18170722
>What do?
Knock this shit off. You both are dysfunctional people who were in a toxic relationship and now, predictably, its over.
Toss the letter in the garbage, move on with your life and stop kicking this dead horse of a relationship. Its done. The only thing you can possibly accomplish by continuing to talk to him is prolonging the negative effects of this toxic codependency you two have been building between each other for the past two years.
He's not good of you. You're not good for him. Knock off this "I need an apology" bullshit. Desperately seeking closure is just another excuse to keep this connection with him going and you know it.
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>>18170747
>May not post the letter as it's kind of personal.
You're on a website for anonymity. Might as well post it. It might give us some more insight into your thinking.
That being said, from what you've explained, it sounds pretty pointless.
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>>18170722
>I'm suffering so much, it's been months since the break up
>better drag it on and keep in contact
>he treated me like shit for months
>but the letter will surely help
>I'm a sad piece of shit
>better still act like a sad piece of shit
Babe, cut it off. Write the letter if you want, but keep it to yourself. I know you want closure, but you won't get it from him. You'll never get it from him, this is not how breakups work. You'll get closure when you've cut him out and went on with your life. Write on some breakup forums, write on /adv/. They help.
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Hey guys, thanks for the replies. I know I've been a total tool but hopefully it's understandable, breakups and all that. I guess I'm not sure how to accomplish closure for myself after this, because I didn't want to view him like a fucking asshole
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>>18171541
Like I said you won't get closure from him
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>>18170722
I'm sure by now he's sleeping with her.
You made a mistake when you didn't break up with him before. He's not a good guy. Even a drunk man can keep a woman from sucking on his face and neck if he's committed to someone he loves. Move on and stop talking to his family. He's going to try to come around again the moment you're happy and doing well. DON'T let him back. Trust me on that
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