NEET faggot - how do I get a job?

This looks fun
http://www.coolantarctica.com/Community/find_a_job_in_antarctica.php

Or tutor english online for a bit free then throw it on resume and go someplace like Japan/China and be an english teacher, no experience needed but helps (hence the tutoring online).

Easy gigs for those inclined, though I admit the wait list for the first is a bit of a problem.

Plus I'll tell you from experience in similar conditions you will hate life at first, but learn to love it.

>>18169913
Oh and forgot, can always put down online friends as references. Or buy references, thats a thing and its cheap.

Just gonna piggyback off this thread instead of making my own new one

So I'm a fucking idiot and quit my last job by just not coming to work anymore because I'm weak willed and short sighted

I just had some interviews for a new job, but on the applications I sent in I fabricated my last work experience and said that I worked at a different location in the same company that closed around the time I quit and got laid off, and it was only after sending in this application that I started to look into what background checks may actually investigate and realized that I might have fucked up

The interviews went fine but I just consented to the background check and I've already braced myself for the possibility that they'll be thorough enough to catch me lying and I'll lose this job before I even start

I'm still crossing my fingers that they do a really lax background check and I start this new job next week, but in the worst case scenario where they actually get records from corporate HR on me and I lose this opportunity, what should I do going forward? Do I omit the last work experience entirely from applications and try to come up with a convincing story explaining the one year gap between now and the job I had before that? Do I just be honest about when and where I worked and try to come up with a story about quitting/getting fired that won't immediately ruin my chances in that interview?

I realize this mess is entirely my fault and I'm facing the consequences of my own poor decisions, but I can't take them back now and I'm nervous about finding another job if this one falls through

>>18169970
Up to you anon.
They probably won't catch you, and you can always backdate the new job start date and split the middle.
Or do something cheezy like "Uber Driver". If you have any friends who own or manage businesses see if you can get them to vouch for you. It's not that big a deal and most background checks are jokes.

Knew a guy who used to smoke a lot of hardcore drugs. They came for his security clearance (military) like 8 years later... like, wtf? He even put it on the questionaire. He said their response was
"Yea we don't read those things" lol.
No biggie anon.

>>18169990
Thanks, that makes me feel a bit better

Cross your fingers for me that this background check comes up clean and I get the job, because I have no criminal record or anything, them finding out I fabricated my last employment history is the only thing I'm worried about

If this does fall through though, I think I have my story figured out: my dad really does earn his money tax-free and off the books by reselling things at flea markets and on the internet, so if I have to apply to more shit I'll just put down that I spent a year doing that, that way there's nothing to verify in a background check and at most they could call my dad who would tell a white lie for me anyway

Now to answer OP's question the best I can: I was in a very similar situation before I got my first job, even dropped out of college

Just apply to shit tier entry level jobs like retail, they don't expect a college degree or good grades or work experience for entry level cashiering, as long as you pass a drug test and can count change they'll hire you if they need bodies

Yeah those jobs will suck, but just try to get into your equivalent of a walmart or CVS, and even if you can't get promoted, stick with it for at least a year or two and use that experience and references to find better jobs

The most awkward part will be if they give you the canned corporate interview questions like "Tell me about a time you used teamwork to overcome a problem", because then you have to come up with a school work anecdote or make up some bullshit about something else, but really if you can perform the job at a basic level that's all they'll be looking for, I sperged my way through my first interview hard because I was an anxious socially retarded wreck before I got my first job and learned to talk to people but they still gave it to me because they aren't picky with those positions

Just don't think of retail as beneath you, if you have no other experience or connections it's a good stepping stone

>>18170053
Cont.

The reason I specifically suggest going for one of these shitty jobs at first is because, like you said, a resume assumes experience and references, if you're fresh in the work force after dropping out of school you have nothing to put on one

These types of low level retail jobs don't even require resumes though, they pretty much all have a simpler fill-in-the-blanks application you can use that doesn't require any experience if you don't have it

Once you get one job this way you can actually make a resume, it won't be the most impressive, sure, but having some form of work experience and a couple professional references is enough to make a proper resume and apply to half-decent jobs that require one

Apply to at least one or two jobs every day, just send applications to anything you can think of that 1) would be taking unskilled inexperienced fresh meat, 2) doesn't require a proper resume, and 3) you don't think would make you want to absolutely kill yourself (I avoided the food industry as a whole)

Good luck anon, I know your feelings all to well