I keep going on dates with guys but I never develop feelings

>>18168447
I feel funny, you sounds like my cousin.
You need to realize relationship is two-way connection. You must have something to provide the others besides your self-interest.

Honestly it sounds like you want relationship for the sake of wanting one, thar's selfish.
If you did that, it''s kinda signalling to the other side that you only wanted to be taken care of.
Nobody's really want to be a nanny to their partner, they want their partner to supplement and walk with them in life.

>>18168447

I'm with you, but from a guy's side. Every date I go on is like "why the fuck am I bothering here?"

I have to drive along the conversation, there's no spark, it's just this boring dance of getting to know this person and the fact that they're more or less just as bland as most everyone else out there, and that's not even trying to say that I deserve something special or anything, just that it all seems pointless.

Thing is, at my age (30), unless I actually take someone out, I'm not going to get to know anyone that I develop feelings for, so it's basically just this useless cycle until someone's interesting enough, if they ever are.

>>18168508
I don't want to be taken care of, I want to have the feeling of wanting to take care of someone else. But I can't seem to develop feelings for any of these guys, even if they want to be in a relationship with me

>>18168524
OP here, I can relate so much.

You want to fall in love, not a relationship.

These sometimes are totally different things.

>>18168534
Ok fine, how do I 'fall in love'?

It doesn't have to be full on love though, just some feelings of some kind

>>18168531
Consider arranged marriage.

Or just focus yourself in another thing like career, jobs, your passion, mission. If the feel is not there, then it's not the time yet.

>>18168524
Then you meet the interesting person and this person is already in relationship.
Then you know why there are no more people like that roaming free.
Then you realize you are not one of them.

My feels currently.

>>18168539
Lol wat

How does arranged marriage solve the problem of not being able to catch feelings

I don't want to be married and the other areas of my life are just fine, except for this one.

>>18168536
Trial and error long enough?

Hell if I know. I just wanted to say that pursuing relationship in this case is not what you want.
You can have successful relationship with with a "boring" person too when you settle down.

I think many never stay with the people who actually cause "the spark"

>>18168534

I'm the guy that feels like her, and I'd argue that we don't even want to fall in love, we just at least want to feel that awesome feeling that someone is exciting to be around, that rush of endorphins where you can't wait to see someone again, that you really feel warm all over. Like maybe there's a chance out there.

It's not like "date 1 = I'm going to marry this person," but something more than making it feel like it's friends going out for a bowl of soup.

>>18168543
People of the old married first, and they gradually learn to love and accept their partner.

Arranged marriage it's kinda like the way of forcing you to do it.

>>18168546
>we don't want to fall in love
>describing basically love attraction

sure whatever you are trying to convey

>>18168545
A relationship with someone you have no feelings for? That sounds horrible

>>18168545

This seems like horrible advice to me. People should stay with the people who don't cause the spark?

This is why unhappy marriages exist, people who are afraid of being alone so bad that they just settle for someone safe.

>>18168548

That's not love though, dude. Love is a much deeper feeling developed over time, with a lot of mutual factors involved.

Sure, if you wanna call it lust or infatuation, I guess you can, but it's still missing the point to call it love.

>>18168552
Yup, I'm not telling you to do that.
Still I know people who live happily without chemistry, especially when they have passions and goals beyond relationship stuff and romance stuff.

Other side of the coin is maybe that your life is so empty and boring that you are trying to fix it with someone else, not by yourself.

Chemistry as necessity for successful relationship was invented like 300 years ago? Before that nobody carried about muh feelings, you just end up together, fuck and rise children.

>>18168594

I'm not OP, but my life is pretty satisfying in general. As a guy though, if I want to be in a relationship, meet girls, have sex, that kind of thing, maybe have kids or a family one day, I have to be the one who initiates. There's really no waiting around. I tried waiting around for a year or two and... guess what? Met no one. Not a single girl of interest that came into my life.