Why?

What did he look like? Was he a chad?

>>18163960
He was probably about 6'2 not tiny but not extremely muscly. Black hair pale skin. Just an average guy I guess. But very mean. Manipulative. Controlling. Abusive.

>>18163850
You want to hurt him, as he has hurt you. An understandable feeling, but one that is best not acted on. Wanting to do thing in spite of him only shows him, and us that you aren't over him. I just got dumped after a year and a half, and the same thing happened in my relationship before this one. I was the asshole you describe who was abusive. I regret being a fucking dick, and I do wish I could change things. I don't really know why I did it, but that's that. I cant say if he feels bad for it, or what, but I'm giving my 2 cents from a viewpoint similar to his. Don't be spiteful

>>18163982
I can't exactly say I'm over him completely but I know I don't love him. I just want him to hurt. I'm a kind hearted girl and I would never cause anyone harm. But I feel like he brought this out of me. And I don't know how to get rid of this hatred and anger. I think I'm still so angry because he always said that he wasn't doing anything wrong and that its my fault.

>>18163967
When did the abuse start?

>>18164004
It started about 2 1/2 years into the relationship

>>18164000

>I don't know how to get rid of this hatred

Just let it go. I know the hatred you are talking about, and it makes you furious and want to lash out sometimes, but don't do it. I can promise it will make nothing better, and nothing will be proven as a result. Lets say you hurt him and feel good about yourself. Well, now you're just being a dick like he was, and you'll eventually wind up being the manipulative person in your next relationship.

>>18164015
I guess you're right. I guess I'm also mad at myself for giving him so much of my time. I'm mad at myself for not seeing this outcome sooner. I just want him to feel how I do. But I don't want to stoop to his level.

>>18164022
I know how you feel. I had a girlfriend my senior year of highschool do all sorts of bogus shit to me too, and I acted on that hatred like you want to. It led to fights, and we got back together, except I was now the abuser, and I treated her as poorly as possible because It always made me feel better thinking "Ha I got her back". Cheated on her with multiple girls at once, etc. Every relationship afterwards has been the same story. If the girl does ANYTHING that I take the wrong way, no matter how innocent, I get that feeling of wanting revenge for upsetting me, except it never goes away once it starts. I don't want to blame her for it, but that relationship turned me into the asshole I am today

>>18164035
I feel like I'm becoming a different person when I think about him. It makes me so angry. I've never been mean to someone no matter what they do to me but when we fought I started yelling back at him. I feel like I'm losing myself. I hate him for what he did to me. I hate him for what he made me become. But I pity him because someone must have hurt him at one point in his life. I pity him because eventually he'll be alone with no one to love him. I pity him because he's the type of guy that fathers warn their daughters about. I pity his sad and angry soul.

>>18164054
You will follow the same path with that mindset. I recommend picking up a new hobby, and if you haven't already, cut all ties in any way shape or form

>>18164073
I'm in the process of cutting ties. I'm changing my phone number on Tuesday and all that. I just wish he knew what he did to me. I know that nothing good will come out of staying in contact with him or holding on to this anger. I just want to be myself again. I think I might start a volunteer job to regain my self worth. Or something.

>>18164084
Do anything that takes up time. It sounds corny, but it does help a lot. Never let yourself sit still because an empty mind truly is the devils workshop

>>18164097
That makes sense. I just hope these feelings fade. The last thing I want is to become an angry person. Or a hateful person. I want to be able to forgive. But I will never forget what happened.

>>18163850
People like that hardly ever believe they've done anything wrong. He'll take anything you tell him, twist it around and next thing you know, he's made himseIf the victim and you the abuser. He's not worth your time or efforts. Learn from your past, but always move forward. Contacting him for any reason is going backwards.

>>18164111
I think you're right. I need to learn to move on with my life. I just can't stop thinking about everything.