What is the mental disorder i have if i am completely unable

Bump for interest. Dealing with similar problem

>>18161893
One time i knew for a fact this girl who i was crushing on, also was crushing on me except 50x as badly. Because of the shit i typed in the OP i didnt do anything about it, but she did eventually. One day shr just got way way way touchy and flirty as fucking hell, but my mentally ill mind was just telling me that she was only fucking with me and ultimately just trying to humiliate me or something, and i wound up making her cry. After that i still believed that fucking BULLSHIT that my mental illness thought up.

And EVEN KNOWING THIS in hindsight, i would literally do the same exact fucking thing again if it happened today. Even knowing all of this.

>>18161890
>>18161893
Are you a boy or a girl?

>>18161917
Guy

Even as a little kid as far back as i remember i thought this way so maybe i am just fucked?

>>18161920
I don't know, at some point the desire to be happy will override your fear of being humiliated. Humiliation is a memory you'd rather forget and happiness is one you will always remember, but here you are focused on avoiding getting hurt instead of living your life and being happy.

>>18161920
You feel unlovable because deep down you just plain and simple hate yourself. You're not mentally ill. Iktf and more or less got out of it after developing skills and passions through hobbies.

>implying your dog doesn't loathe you and your little cousin doesn't subconsciously dislike you with his reptilian brain

>>18161890

its not a disorder, its just low self esteem. not every negative flaw or trait someone has is a 'disorder' stop trying to write yourselves up as mentally ill in order to dismiss your problems.

>>18161890
its not, youre probably right and theyre just masking it and making you think youre wrong

>>18161890

who photographs this shit?

>>18161996
Well same shit, i am clearly fucked up in the head. Dont care whether or not it is arbitrarily called a disorder or not, i just want to fix it.

>>18162019
Yeah my dog hates me and random little toddlers who probably don't even have conscious thought

>>18162077

if you want to fix it, dont call it a disorder, because despite what therapy says, people who get diagnosed with a 'disorder' tend to use that as an excuse for who they are as opposed to a reason to change, they treat them as permanent and unhelpable.

>>18161890
>What is the mental disorder i have if i am completely unable to believe that anyone actually likes or is able to like me?
There's a good chance it's just lucidity.

>>18162083
Your dog thinks you're his beta bitch and never heard of kids disliking someone? :^)

>>18161890
Self esteem issues I guess, not necessarily a disorder

Or you're like me and you have trust issues. You think women are lying all the time or trying to play you.

The only thing I can say about that is, one day you will learn to let go, it won't be easy, but you will know when it is worth it.

>>18161920
Gotta dick