I ruined my future with drugs / vent

Get out of town. Save up as much money as you can. If you have a car, pack it with all the essentials, then hit the road. Drive to a completely different part of your country, wherever you want! Keep driving until you want to stop for a while. Sleep in your car in walmart parking lots.

Once you've found a nice city, you need to:

Look on craigslist or whatever to find a job. Apply to any and all jobs that are remotely doable. You're looking for a job fast to get you a source of income. You can afford to be choosy later once you are more established.

Do your trip when the weather is nice, so you can stay on a campground in the area while you're looking for a better place to stay.

Look for and contact the cheapest apartment you can find. You don't have that much stuff with you anyways so you don't need a big place. Maybe try and find one with roommates, so you will already have others around. A furnished apartment would be a nice bonus. Hopefully you have saved enough money for at least a couple months rent, giving you more time to find a job if you aren't immediately fruitful.

But be kinda smart with this. Don't decide to live in some cracked out part of the city. You'll know what kind of area you should be living in, and which kind of area you should not.

Find new friends at your new job/s, and really try not to fall into the same habits.

This worked for me. Maybe it's something to consider for you as well?

>>18160768
Well, you realized this was not good and you quit. So you are half way, things aint that bad then bro. Ppl make mistakes. It just takes a lot of energy and work to get your life in order again. Spoiler: you already took acid and molly so things in life arent quickly going to be as impressive as those experiences because those are awesome drugs when taken with a group of good ppl. Try to forget, focus on rl, expect results in a few months. Work out, eat healthy and a lot, sleep. Eat less sugar and try to find ppl to lauhg with. Maybe even find the old friends, try. Gl m8

>>18160865
thanks for your reply its appreciated.

>>18160856
thanks for your reply.

life could have been easier if i had not messed up but i guess i needed to learn a harsh lesson early on. setbacks and disappointments are part of life after all. i just hope this feeling of isolation and self hatred will pass after i get my shit in order again.

Find what drives you. Try as hard as you can to experience what moves you forward and develops you as a person. Find hobbies that get you out, with or without other people. I think it just takes self understanding to get ones self on the right path, and you made the right decision already.
In my opinion, falling into the mistakes you made before is very easy. Those years of your life are very easily taken from you, and I think you shouldnt blame yourself. Life is hard, and making the right decisions when you are young is even harder. You seem to have a will to move forward, and thrive in life, and sometimes knowing what mistakes you've made can be what drives you to be a better person.
I wish you luck anon. I've lost a few good people in my life to the lifestyle you had before, and it makes me glad to hear that there are some who come to reject it. Who knows, maybe your friends from before are as open to accepting you for who you are now as I would be. Maybe your new perspective and wisdom will serve you well in finding people you enjoy, and also help guide the path ahead of you.
Remember anon, if you're at rock bottom, there's no reason to look down.

>>18160957
thanks for your reply theres a lot of truth to what you said. something keeps me motivated to push trough the hardest days for sure.

>>18160965
Np. Another thing to remember is that you have time. You're still young, so do what you need to do, but don't rush things or get impatient, all good things will come with time.

>>18160973
being impatient is a problem for me for sure rn. i can't wait to get my own place again and get to school because my job is depressing as hell like my spare time.

Dude you were only doing party drugs and you're acting like a recovering heroin addict. Just think about that for a bit.

>>18161001
3grams a day for over a year is an addiction and harmful for a young brain. not to be taken lightly.

1. You're a 20 year old who experimented with some acid. Calm the fuck down. Not to mention, you willingly stopped. At the age of 20. Do you know how many 20 year olds don't willingly stop? Hell, when I was 20 I didn't willingly stop!

2. You're depressed because you have no support network whatsoever and nothing to bitch about your problems at. The depersonalization is symptomatic of this. Isolation begets derealization as you retreat into yourself further and further.

3. I suggest talking to your dad about this shit. He's the closet thing you have to a viable support network right now, and you haven't called him mentally ill or an asshole so I assume he'll be a dad and understand.

4. You have a job. Why aren't you chatting up co-workers? Just offer to get coffee or lunch together sometime. If you make friends at work you'll be better motivated to showing up on time.

>>18161004
Bullshit you were doing 3gr of MDMA a day. You wouldn't be alive typing this message out.

>>18161016
lol no just weed

>>18161012
well being around people is very stressful and rn I'm barely able to talk to my co workers and i know isolation is not the greatest way to battle depression but what can i do

i just can't talk to my dad he's not an asshole but i feel like such a let down

>>18160768
Okay.
If this is real (doubt it). I think you can recover with no problem.
One thing at a time.
Make peace with mom (she is critical, thats important).
Mom is there for you, she will never hurt you. She loves you.
Settle in and find a job. Show Mom that you are trying (no shit, really try!).
Be respectful and realize there are people that love you. They always have, you just dont realize it.
Begin to ease up on drugs (its tuff) and concentrate more on family. None of this is easy, you reached out, you are concerned. If you are a religious guy seek your God. But you are a male man, never hurt your MOM by your actions. Don't be a child and be responsible, show your parents that you can be a grwon man and take charge of your life. Do not be a burden on them, but if you feel a need, go to them and they will understand.

>>18161076
this is real (why would someone go trough the trouble of writing bullshit stories here?)
and as i wrote i haven't used drugs since last summer i quit cold turkey. except i tried smoking weed in January and i just went back to full dissociation paranoid shit. great advice about the be a grown man take responsibility. my mom actually is quite unstable and has hurt me more times than i can count but i forgive her every time. and as i wrote i have a job and i have tried my hardest to be productive there for the past 2 weeks. its hard to get up and go to work but it gives some sort of purpose i guess.

>>18161093
Okay.
If you are the grown up and not your mom. Act like one. You have every reason in the world to get your shit together but are going to use every reason not too.
The fact that you are even reaching out for advice already means you know the answer.
You are the adult. You have to do the adult thing and "grow up". You are young for this but when forced you def will be a solid and strong adult by the time you are 30...good or bad i dont know, but keep your head straight.

Bro, as far as getting more energy. Try taking the supplement ALCAR (Alcar Acetyl-L-Carnitine). It's extremely good for the brain, especially as a former drug user.

I take a lot of supplements for health (research-proven supplements), but ALCAR is the only one where I can really feel a difference the days I take it and the days I don't. Give it a try man. It's good for you as well as making you feel good, no side effects.

>>18161117
thanks

>>18161124
i have to look it up

>>18161093
Sorry...I am not trying to place the blame on you for your misfortune. But I think you are forced into a position whereas you will have to make your first "adult decision".
You seem like a cool guy, I really hopes everything works out for you. I am a nobody oldfart but have been around and if need to talk my email is: [email protected]
I wish you the best, peace.