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I can't make meaningful connections with people. Or, I don't gain anything from the relationships that I make. I don't gain any energy, I just lose energy.
All of my friends are nice, and some art smart, some are funny. I just feel no return, but the catch is I get lonely without friends but I don't care about the ones I make.
I am just so tired. It has been like this for 10 years or so. I just feel nothing, everyone and everything is grey. I have to act like I care because when its obvious that I don't feel anything my life is much more difficult as people cause problems with me, but acting is such a huge effort as well and I end up hating how fake it is.
I've seen a therapist, been on meds, nothing has worked and frankly I hate the idea of being on medication anyhow as it feels dishonest to who I am and the side effects dull me.
What's worse, the only relationship that ever meant anything ended with them essentially expressing how little they cared for me. Every time I think of trying I think of how they acted, ending our friendship without getting my perspective on things, without even trying to fix things. I hate it.
I'm tired, I am getting stranger and the ability to just pass as normal is getting worse and its stressful. I just can't care about anything I am supposed to care about, and I don't get energy from any of the people or things I should.
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friendship doesn't have to be that important. you're overvaluing it. who the fuck thinks friends should discuss their friend relationship?
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>>18160254
I am more saying I don't get anything from people
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>>18160254
I have discussed friend relationships with serious, long term friends. Friends can go through rough patches too, just like any relationship.
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>>18160245
You're putting too much of your power in the hands of people who frankly don't give a shit.
Dude, if you want to have an awesome fullfilling life you've got to detach yourself from trying so hard to gain something from others. Where you should focus your energies is on yourself. Focus on the things you love. Focus on the things you want to do.
I have maybe four or five friends I can count on no matter what. I haven't had a real girlfriend. I've been laid a couple times. But I'm happy as shit because I want to be. I don't need external bullshit to make me happy, I make myself happy.
Read this very carefully man, because life is too damn short to think otherwise. FUCK WHAT PEOPLE THINK. Do you man. Chase your crazy dreams. Travel to places even by yourself. Explore. Live. Discover. Leave the bullshit behind and don't be afraid to take serious risks. People may hate you. People may see you in a negative light. But if you can find the validation you desperately crave in yourself and fuck everything else that doesn't follow that I guarantee that not only will your life kick ass, but you'll never have to feel stupid for following your truth.
Fuck people. People lie, steal, curse, do whatever they can to hide their insecurities. Don't play the sheep game. Life is a goddamn blessing. Your a goddamn autonomous being in control of your own actions. Do you realize how utterly INCREDIBLE that is? At any moment you can completely change yourself for the better.
Let go of whatever it is you perceive is holding you back, because I guarantee it's coming from you. Be your glorious, radiant self. Don't listen to people who try to change you and mold you into something your not. Follow your own truth. And dammit, have the guts to fight for what you believe in.
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>>18160263
no, you're whining that your friends won't marry you.
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>>18160329
What?
>>18160303
Good advice but hard to follow, ill try anyhow.
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>>18160303
Not OP, but I've been completely alone for 4 years and in that time I did everything you said. I chased and achieved my dreams, I travelled to the other side of the world alone and explored many many hobbies.
Doing everything alone for so long gets boring, loneliness aside. I want someone to experience life with.
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