Get it off your chest / Vent/ gioyc

>>18155922

>>18156093
Why do the stars hate me so much. I don't subscribe to the idea that horoscopes and predictions based on my zodiac are a dogmatic rule, however since I'm a bit out of directions right now, reading through astral ooga booga mumbo jumbo is as good a hint to me as anything else.

Now the thing that repeatedly is slapped in my face is the romance/partnership part, and it always tells me to look out for Taurus. And this is where the joke gets the punchline:

I just managed to barely cut ties with a Taurus for whom I fell so hard it crushed my soul like never before. Everytime I try to get some new inspiration for what to do with myself, my horoscope is quick to point out that I should have a Taurus lover, as if they're telling me that I'm making all the wrong moves trying to separate myself and move on.

It's galling me so much, especially because this woman texted me after months of silence. But whenever I reply it takes her at least a week to reply. I cannot be invested in this kind of bullshit. And then those blinky pieces of shit in the sky point me towards her and constantly planting the idea that maybe I should try and be brave and overcome this or some shit.

God I have to go to work in about an hour I just know this will fucking ruin my mood for the whole weekend.

please please please don't walk out on me

>>18156289
please please please don't make it so appealing.

REEEEEE YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ANIMAL JUST KEEP THE BANDAGE ON OR YOU WON'T HEAAAAAAL STOP RIPPING IT OFF IT'S NOCHEW TO BEGIN WITH

3 weeks of this shit over a broken toenail. I'm DONE TAKING HER TO THE FUCKING VET JUST LET IT HEAAAAAL LET IT HEAAAAAAAAL FUCKING HELL

I'm not happy with you. You make me feel isolated from the world. I was happier before. I don't feel like you have my back. I feel like you've been having a long ass affair with a married co worker. That's why you don't want me around your co-workers. That's why we have no photos together. That's why your status doesn't represent our relationship. You're sucking the life out of me. I'm leaving you. Nothing changes. The house is a shithole mess and I am sick of being the only one cleaning. You leave your weed shit all over the fucking place. You eat too much damn fast food.You're not supportive. You talk down to me, your friends treat me like shit and you let them. I deserve better.

>>18156336
get her a cone?

>>18156375
The cone doesn't work, bigger cone doesn't work, inflatable cone doesn't work, towel with duct tape doesn't work. She's small and can contort her body into a beanshape to get at it regardless. Dogs are fucking annoying, have another fucking vet appointment today

I'm 18 and about to graduate high-school and throughout those 4 years I have never had a girlfriend. Does that make me a loser ?

I know I fucked up and I regret all these stupid ass things that I did in the past. I don't blame you for anything, and I'm sorry if it came out like that before, if you felt as if I was blaming you. I understand you don't want to stay were you are, you're under the pressure for wanting to study, of working and things that happen. I regret not encouraging you enough, not understanding you better, taking the time to see from you point of view. Not showing you that I believed in you.

I miss you terribly. I miss your energy, that vibrancy you brought into my life. Understand that I messed up and I want make up for it. My words may not mean much to you, not now, but it's all I can give you at the moment. I promise you things will be different. I promise you that I will be different. That these things will not happen again. Please, believe in me. You don't have to trust me right now, but I promise to make things better for the both of us. I still love you, no matter how hard I try to not say it, I still do.

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I miss my cousins.
I haven't seen them in over a year.
They were the light of my life.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Fuck this chronic illness.

>>18156487
What's your chronic illness, anon?
I have one too, so I'm curious.

>>18156500
I have endometriosis, you?

>>18156504
Type 1 Diabetes (the stuff you get as a kid)
life is a rollercoaster :-)

Tldr Ive been talking to someone from the other side of the country for a week. I met a sugar daddy at a hotel last night (we didnt fuck). As far as he knows, it was a group of guys I met on twitter because thats easier to explain. I deserve to die alone

I just realised I prefer alcohol over weed. Weed is nice but I don't like how it makes my lungs so heavy and my head so empty. Anyways I have nothing to look forward to and I fucking hate myself because everyone hates my guts for some reason.

>>18156510
Oh shit, that's heavy. Life is definitely a rollercoaster and mine is mainly going downhill, haha. Are you okay?

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>>18156532
yeah, i'm doing fine.
fortunately, i don't have too many problems with my disease, even though it can be really stressful.

i appreciate the good times and i have learnt to deal with the bad times. everyday is different, and when i'm having a good day it feels like i'm not ill at all. staying positive is hard sometimes, but it pays off well.

as much as i'd like to not have this stuff, it has taught me some important lessons that help me in life and which i wouldn't have learned otherwise.

>>18156578
That's good to hear dude. My illness has gotten worse and worse over the past years sadly, but I try to keep myself motivated and happy. Even on the days that I'd rather quit. I wish you the best!

What happened to my dachshund and my chimera cat? My basset hound and beagle passed away. ;-;

>>18156250
I'm a Taurus.... Are we compatible?

I'm here at a spa that offers vaginal steams and I'm sad because I have to one to gift with it's touted benefits.

I'm tired of fucking apologizing for getting angry.

Why can't I get an apology for people making me angry?

Fuck 'em. I'm about ready to go friendsless over this.

>>18156410
There is no "us". You never wanted that, remember?

There's only me. That's all I give a shit about now.

>>18156289
Don't worry, I'm just going to get a pack of smokes. I'll be back in a jiffy.

>>18156846
I like you.

>>18156391
Don't worry about it, You're going to meet plenty of girls in the near future. You can fuck around then.

>>18156601
Are you on the pills? Walking? Drinking a lot of water on those days? Tea helps? Getting a massage near your abdomen might help.

>>18156889
It wasn't my fault. She seduced me when I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Why am I still with you?

I feel scared to tell you that I don't feel any love from you anymore. I'm sure you know you're not giving any. This display is making me love you less and less, and lately I've even thought of breaking up.

I've given up great opportunities for you and I'm giving up much more to come back to you and you're making it very hard for me to change my entire life to do it. Initiate a conversation for God's sake.

Fuck you for being like this. I have troubles too you know.

>>18157097
Fuck I just want a normal girl that will treat me like a person involved in her life. I knew from the beginning it was a mistake.

you make me feel a way that i like

>>18156362
I'm glad you decided to leave anon. Nobody deserves that. One day they'll look back and see what they should've appreciated. Good luck.

I like being alone.

Never trust anybody who ever says they love you
Never trust anybody who ever says they care
everyone is just a fucking liar. Done with people holy shit. I still hope you die. Undeserving sack of shit

I'm considering having sex for money until I get more hours at my job. I want to be able to buy myself nice things now that I'm not wasting all my money on that fucking leech.

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I turn 25 in 2weeks..
-So far my 20s have been just me existing with events just orbiting around me happening
-Real money/a job is non-existent unless you know someone
-life in general has been void of nothing but passing fancies and annoying whispers of others trying to get you to do things they hate themselves
-Seen multiple friends move back home because they just cant truly leave and stay left.
-Trump is prez,that fucking hilarious
-Switch from being a long time medical and health science nerd to a computer nerd from learning programming but that's fading with time
-Community college is High school 2.0
-Had a friend die on me
-Had an aunt die on me
-Had a father leave
-Got to see my cousin born, he just turn 5 this week
-New Gorillaz album coming

>>18156410
The person I'd like to hear this from is probably getting fucked up now. While I'm laying in bed torturing myself over what to do and watching old sitcoms to distract myself. I want to progress, so I'll be able to provide. If i don't, everything will have been for nothing. Every last bit of my energy, as useful as farting in my hands.
Funnily enough, your words always kept me going. I know it's impossible for you bare your heart, I've taken what I've gotten. You have to know that I need more than that.
Shrug off the shroud you've wrapped yourself up in for so long, hold my hand again and remember what we've seen together and what remains to experience.

you're a clone of me you unoriginal little faggot

>>18156391
Got STD's or kids? Your doing fine.

>>18156770
According to this chart we are but I guess we'd have to talk more because the truth is all zodiac related material should be taken with a grain of salt.

The reason my situation infuriates me so is the frequency that I feel I'd have to swallow a whole block with the input I'm given.

>>18157282
Oh fuck forgot the link http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/compatibility/taurus-scorpio/

I guess I only end up loving super fucked up people.

>>18157000
It feels like I can't get an ounce of respect.

Fuck this, I'm so tired of it all.

>>18157215
Me too

I'm gonna ask a girl out tomorrow. I've had a crush on her since 2 years ago but never asked her out because she gave me mixed signals. I don't really have a specific special reason to ask her out now but I just want to get this over with. She'll probably reject me.

I hate you. I hate how unbelievably attractive you are. I hate how horny I am around you and how good the sex feels. I hate how our bodies fit together perfectly when we cuddle. I hate you. Why is everything about you so fucking perfect physically, yet you're so emotionally distant? I hate how nice you are. Literally the only thing wrong with you is it feels like you don't care. And when I decided I needed to move on and stop seeing you, you don't want me to go. Please fucking act like you actually want me, or let me go. Or at least let us be fwb, so I can fulfill my emotional needs somewhere else. I don't know what you want from me.

>>18157286
Seems about right- can either be a deep and passionate love or a volatile time bomb

I've never put much stock into this stuff but the Taurus strengths, weaknesses, and likes are pretty accurate for me

I did something bad to someone a while back and I feel so fucking bad about it. They've forgiven me but I can't seem to forgive myself. Why do I keep thinking about something I did in the past. I'm usually pretty laid back and forgiving but this thing is still eating at me.

Been depressed for years, finally have the means to see a counselor and have a formal diagnosis which is both good and bad because now I know where to start but telling my mom really showed me how emotionally immature she is. She's incapable of conceiving a world in which people are multidimensional and can have issues that stem from things/people other than her. I should have come to terms with this by now but I can't believe it, especially knowing that her two other kids have or are struggling with similar illnesses and that our entire family has either bipolar disorder or alcoholism. She says she wants to be present and supportive in my life but I'm not going to tolerate her selfishness.

>>18156446
:C

>>18157367
So... What's the idea here? Exchange skype details or some such or do we leave it at a "Oh what a coincidence!" And leave well enough alone?

Showing up like that and not pursuing me really made me think if you are just as awkward as me or if I'm just too retarded and/or too annoying to be worth of your time. But it might be also because of me not responding because I'm too unsure what to do. I'll leave it at that and keep me seperated from you because that seems like the right thing to do for both sides.

>>18157308
Good luck either way,anon. You'll learn either way.

Why would a grill stalk me and tell me about it and then strongly hint to my friend that she wants to have sex with me if she has a bf ? What the fuck am I supposed to make of this situation ? Is she just fucked up ?

>>18157424
You got it. Stay away if you don't want any trabble,but if you want some then go ahead.

>>18157428
No, that's fucked up. I want a gf but I'm indifferent to sexual intercourse at this point. She should know that isn't OK. She's a Mennonite. We have Bible study together. I'm so fucking confused.

>>18156093
do you want to know why no one wants to be your friend? it's because you're depressed, obese, the only thing you do is okay vidya, and you're by far the most opinionated person I have met, with such a superiority complex that it's almost impressive.

and each day that I talk with you, the more reasons I find to dislike you.
I'm beginning to hate you.

>>18156446
holy shit, I remember you! I haven't seen your posts in these threads for ages, how have you been, familia?

I've been sober for almost three months, since new years, but my roommates have alcohol in the house and this week has been so hard that I'm really considering just downing a few shots in a row to forget everything for a while.

>>18157466
Don't do it man. You'll feel like absolute shit afterwards. Do something fun instead, watch a good movie, shit

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I want you..
But you don't seem to even respond...

You don't seem to care..

notice me.. even if it's just to tell me you're not attracted to me or have a bf...

If you don't have a bf, and you really tried, you would find reasons to love me, as I have found reasons to love you..

I feel like I'm making mistakes that I'm unaware are even mistakes..

I'm a lonely fuck and I was chatting with this "girl" on okcupid and she gave me her number and when I texted her, she deleted her profile and didn't respond to my text

did I get scammed? What information can someone get from a phone number, name and a shitty profile picture?

Should I be worried?

>>18157399
For the love of all that is holy, please do not encourage the cousin lover/ pedo. Check the archives.

>>18157408
Why the heck not? :)

[email protected]

>>18156889
I wanted an "us". I always tried. You just never showed it back to me. We pushed each other away. I just want to talk with you and change what happened between us.

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It's weird how depression overrides regular emotions. When something obviously good happens to me, I know it's good, and it feels mildly nice, but there is no tangible sense of joy or contentedness. It's as if every real feeling in my body is trapped under a thick layer of ice, and the closest I can get is simply the vague impression of a warmth. Interestingly, this happens with negative emotions too. I bombed an exam today, and though my thoughts became as pessimistic as they could, I never felt true anger or frustration. Just an inkling of it. Headaches and migraines are the closest to real sensation that I get. Too bad they're awful.

On another note, I've stopped enjoying that comfy feeling of lying down in the shower. It was only a matter of time, since I stopped enjoying the sound of falling rain a long time ago, but it's still weird to see it go. A good thing is happening and I can't sense it at all, but I guess I should be used to it by now.

>>18157527
Then contact me.

>>18157577
I have. You're the one pushing back.
I have tried for while now. You respond once in while. I don't even know why anymore.

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>>18156093
Im starting to worry I'm incapaple of finding love. I was a fat nerd in highschool and sense getting fit my whole college life has been girls wanting to have sex and nothing else to do with me. I dont know where to even begin dating, and the casual sex is slowly numbing me. I do crush really hard on tomboys but those are hard to find it seems at college that are non lesbian or single. Anyone know what to do?

>>18157531
Welcome to apathy friend.
It's a strange peace. I was like that for about 3 years. It ruined everything. At times I felt only envy to those who felt sad. At least that was a thing.
Apathy has nothing.

>>18157482
Prob just found someone else. Girls flake really easily on places like that and tinder

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>>18157602
I remember that comfortable feeling of sadness too. It was very nice. When I try to return to it now, it's like a blocked gate. I can't make myself even with force.

Tell me about your story, please. I'd like to know more.

>>18157594
If youre really into those kinds of girls id suggest going to maybe a couple of concerts from some different types of bands. I dont know if you know of the bands im talking about but there are usually tons of girls that go with their group of friends. As long as you know how to be causal you can meet some girls that way.

I love you so much. We've been dating for two years now and your my first love, kiss, and we are each others first sexual partners.. But I want to be intimate with other women. I need to feel free to explore others and I hate myself for it. It's like holding everything you've ever wanted and crushing it in your hands. I tried to break up with you and we couldn't part. Why am I not satisfied with having a perfect person like you?? Please don't hate me.

4chan wont let me delete my posts anymore

im taking it out on other people on this website

i dont want to talk to anyone

i dont want to do anything ever again

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Hey, laddos and laddettes of /adv/. This isn't a depressing post so overlook this one but my mom found my femdom (femdomme?) """stuff""" and I had to ride back to hers to collect the sissy pantsu (((my pet))) ordered to my house... Really frickin' awkward since she hates me and kicked me out a few weeks ago. I'll probably post a pic of my collection when the cock cage comes in so everyone prepare your eyes for maximum lewdness. Wew lad. If this is "going off the deep end" I'm doing pretty well for myself.

Inb4 no one wants to see that
>Let me tonguepunch your fartbox ma d00d
Could use the exp.

>>18157609
I will try.
I think I was 12 when it happened. Things were fine, then one day it wasn't. I felt broken inside. Fuck, not even I knew what it was. I told my parents, they simply chuckled and called me 'crazy'.

This went on for years. I tried to play it off, wearing a mask becomes a thing. Eventually you become different people, not really recalling who the 'real' you is. If there even was one to begin with. I met her in HS at the age of 17. It was the first time I felt something new, something I had never experienced before. She was broken as well, it felt nice. It felt warm. But, like with everything it was fleeting, I continued to play along figuring it was just me.

A year later I got deployed to Iraq, I had enlisted with the goal of getting killed overseas. At least then I could be worth something to someone. Life insurance and such. I came home alive. Felt lost as I had planned to not return. Now I felt like I didn't belong here. I went to college for 1 semester, I did well. I hated the people, their faces, their questions. I dropped out. I became a shut it for about a year. It took me 6 months to even fetch the mail.

I broke up with my gf right before my deployment, like a maiden waiting for her knight, she waited for me. Not sure why, things got worse and I became more detached from reality. She tried to help, not knowing how. She tired to be there and comfort me both physically and emotionally. I only felt guilt then. I knew I was abusing of her kindness, of her love for me. I used her, and the guilt grew. I became something else, emotionally abusing her to see if I would even feel anything. I didn't fully, but there was the bit of warmth from before, sadly it was muted. Really faint, I was never able to translate into the right words. Only the negative emotions lingered strongly enough to use. I broke her. She couldn't take it anymore. Then, I felt nothing. I felt the negative and positive leave into the void of apathy.

1/2

>>18157636
>cont.
Jim released a new video. Life is great.
https://youtu.be/sRNDnR9Za4M

I wish she would just kiss me.

I wish I could kiss her before I end it.

But I won't

>>18157658
Apathy. It was comforting. It was blank. Nothing would affect me anymore. I simply lived and drank. I became a heavy alcoholic trying to shut down my brain, trying to feel something. Nothing. I went to school, and got a job. Both were simply to get into motion. I cared nothing for them. I just did them because the time was there. Because my wanderings lead me to those places. I continued to quit jobs and school and would find some as well. Did various things as hobbies but never for too long. I felt seconds of joy, or frustration and would just go on to the next thing. She came back. Looking at it now. I wish she didn't.

She tried to help again and like contained fury tired to free myself from it. I failed. Nothing would come out, she continued to get hurt. In secret She used my mother to get me to therapist. I went, not because I cared, but because I had time. I didn't give a fuck what I used it on. So I tagged along and went. Got evaluated. Sure enough, depression and PTSD. Treatment began.

I played along. Not sure if it was helping, got meds. Those seemed to help. I sleep returned, but so did the nightmares. The restless nights. The guilt over my actions of the one person that tried to save me. I felt things again, but I didn't like it. So I sank myself deeper into my apathy, into my depression. Like that one song "You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness", I liked it in my hole. It was safe, comforting. Climbing out, it was extremely painful. Like climbing on a glass ladder, it would break and I would land on the shards. Why even climb out?

People tried to reach me. I grew tired of them, so I would smile for them. Like a wind-up monkey. AS long as things looked okay no one would bug me. But she didn't fall for it. So I lashed out hard to push her away, resilient was she.

This went on for a while and I got transferred to a medical center with the VA (Veteran's Affairs).
This was the hardest shit of all.
(2/3)

i've loved you since i met you 15 years ago. crazy to think about that. i wish your daughter was ours, you wouldn't be a single mother if you picked me. it killed me to have you at my wedding but not my bride. you're the best friend i ever had and if you just gave me a chance your life would have been so much better. i see it in your eyes, i know when you call me you think it to. why couldn't you just give us a chance back then, its too late now.

Anime was a mistake.

>>18157697
(3/3?)
Almost 2 years, of weekly therapy. Pills, routines, and such. I have 'improved'. The problem is that I did feel thing again. She came back and we tried again. Things looked good for once. I felt warmth, happiness (to a degree), sadness and etc. The problem was that I had little control over them now. I was too emotional, too wild, too rash. I couldn't and didn't know how to properly filter my emotions. I was more fragile than when I was apathetic, that's how it felt. Too needy and violent.
Pretty much the last 2 years has been me trying to learn how to rein in these feelings. When to say something, when to stay quiet. I still don't have the hang of it. Sometimes I miss the apathy. It was safer than this. All I feel now is 80/20 mix of misery and happiness.

I fucked things up between her and I again. This time it's likely she will not return. I feel the desire to just stop feeling to return to my hole. To just fake that things are okay.

I'm not sure if feelings are good still. Apathy was nice. It was sterile. Peaceful. I miss it, it was better than the constant stress and pains. The nightmares, the exhaustion. But, I guess it's what it means to be alive?

Fuck knows. It's hard to figure things out when parts of you have been dormant for 10+ years.

Depression, I'm not sure if I want it. I have stopped taking my meds, and I feel okay. Some nights I lose feeling and I just live. Simply exist.

It's not too bad, but it's like a blind man being able to see. Not sure if he would ever return to being blind.

Life is hard.

>>18157723
Too long didn't read.

>>18157723
But you started feeling things again? I've just been sliding straight into nothing for a few years now, and I'd honestly prefer instability if it meant there were moments of happiness. At least then there's a chance for living. Apathy ensures peace and leaves no room for any true happiness. It's the perfect way to waste your life. Are you sure your current state is worse?

>>18157727
It could just be because the wounds are fresh.
There are moments, some of the very small ups that feel, nice.

The apathy will never truly leave, but yes. I feel things again.

There's shit like hope again. It's okay, but I'm much more cynical about it now.

You will always feel the desire to go back. Apathy was easy.
But if you honesty prefer instability, then you still have enough desire to get help to fight out of it.

>>18157727
PS, laughter is nice though.

I like laughing when things are funny.

>>18157738
That's rough, I'm glad things are looking up for you at least. I'm going to fight it, and hopefully get a prescription for meds next month. I'm 18, so if I don't fix things soon, I will almost certainly miss out on several huge life experiences.

>>18157745
That's nice. Do you feel your mood uplifted by laughter? There's a gut reaction, and a lasting feeling of happiness generated by it. Lately I've only gotten the former, but I'm curious if that returned to you as well.

I have a girlfriend who I'm pretty sure I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and fill full of babies.

I have a coworker who I'm in exceptional lust with, and I hesitate to invite her to anything for that reason.

I have a life threatening disease to manage and have gone into debt buying medication for, and feel it compels me to make decisions based off NOW instead of FUTURE.

>>18157754
18? Man, that's kinda good, also that you are getting help. The road maybe long but I didn't start getting looked at until I was 25 or so. In a strange way it makes me smile a bit, even for a stranger.

Yeah. It's not strong yet, so that lasting feeling is short lived. But it's nice, it feels good, I can feel my face light up. It's a nice warm feeling. I like it a lot. Gut reaction, was a response to me. Like I only did it because I knew I had to laugh in certain situations, but it hollow after that.

So in a way it has returned, I have a long roar still head, but like I said, hope is nice at times.

I fucking hate you. Both of you. Fuck off. I hope you guys fucking die. I hope you guys are happy and then it all gets taken away. I hope that you fucking get your ENTIRE social life fucking decimated like you both did to mine. You both are the biggest assholes I ever met. I can't believe I called you both friend, hell, even family for over 17 years. Fuck you.

>>18157773
That's wonderful, it sounds like a truly positive sign. I've done a lot of reading about this, and occasionally come upon stories where their apathy disappears within a few days' time, and the flow of emotions is overwhelming. Perhaps it's exaggerated in my head, but the idea alone motivates me. I mean, you can be bitter about the apathetic years, but the sheer joy to be had once the feelings come back sounds phenomenal. Hopefully we both get there.

This sounds childish as fuck because it is. I was in love with my best friend. I didn't want to ruin the friendship so I never asked. I thought I gave up on her a long time ago but I realized just recently I really haven't. We were in a large group and I was new there so I was her date for the night as friends. I've gone through some relationships during our friendship and so has she but this one particular night is tearing me up. She sees a guy she likes and she gets all flustered. And for some fucking reason it really bothered me tonight. I've driven her to dates no problem but all of a sudden tonight it pisses me off. She goes up to him, asks his name and fucks up like crazy. It gets awkward and she runs back to me. The night continues like normal but I fucking start to ache. I feel like complete shit. I think I love her again but she just reaffirmed to me with that she has no interest in me. I feel pathetic, weak, and like a coward. Maybe this is just hindsight hut if I asked her out earlier we'd probably be dating and I wouldn't feel like shit. And even if she rejected me I'd have an answer I can live with. But I have neither and I'm too much of a fucking bitch to ask. I want to fucking pour my living soul to her but at the same time the coward in me is scared she'll go away.

>>18157498
If you're still here:
I'm sorry I haven't replied yet. I'm inbetween shifts and I desperately needed some sleep so I missed the post. I assume this mail has expired by now, so if possible could you repost?

>>18157792
You'll be alright. You seem far more prepared than I was. I wish I would have known that they could come back as a flood. When they are overwhelming it's a lot.
It was a lot for me, sometimes it's confusing as you have no idea if it's what you should be feeling.
>but the sheer joy to be had once the feelings come back sounds phenomenal.
I like you. I never really looked at things like you have. It's refreshing.
Hope is really all we have left. I hope things improve for you anon. Work at it and see what you can learn. Stay in the fight.

>>18157799
if you arent willing to risk the friendship, youll never get the girl. thats the simple truth. life is about taking risks

>>18157620
My ex was you. He cheated. We broke up. He regrets it. Please don't. The moment you have that "freedom", you'll realize it's nothing like having a partner you love

>>18156510
Same here my dude. Shit fucking sucks.

Im a 21 yo handholdless virgin with 1 btc to my name. I also am a college dropout

This guy and I have been chatting for more than a year. And he's quoted from the Princess Bride at me.
I can't tell if he does it just to be cute, or if he actually means "As you Wish" in the same way that Wesley does...
Nerd love? Or awkward in-joke?

Idk if anyone else has had a similar experience, but this is what's been on my mind today.

All the way through high school I didn't have any problems with self esteem. If anything, I had an inflated sense of self esteem because I still had that blind optimism that I was really smart and I could be whatever I wanted to be.

But sense I've been in college, I've become more aware of a part of my personality I don't like.

I put up with being physically and verbally abused and cheated on by my ex, beyond what I ever thought I would tolerate in a relationship. And I still cling to the hope that she'll come back. I let my mother make decisions for me because I don't want to deal with her getting explosive when I go against what she wants. My closest friend always makes fun of me to make himself feel better about his own insecurities. But I never change. I always just take other people's shit. I don't have any plans of my own, so I just go along with whatever somebody else wants me to do.

My ex really made me aware of it when she pointed out to me that I put up with her treating me badly because I knew I would get the affection that I craved and I never got before in life from her if I just put up with it.

I fear that I might not make it after all.

>>18157913
well tbf we are all going to die eventually so thats true either way

I'm so tired of rejection

I'm sad that nothing that I do feels like how it used to. TF2 is boring, long walks feel tedious now, everything changed, and I'm not sure what to do anymore.

I collect Lego, it's fun, but damn does it feel wrong.

I have shown to my two year old nephew and my six year old brother My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic. My brother's mother already know they love the show, but my nephews mother is unaware to her son's interest. Should I tell her, or keep this a secret?

>>18157971
you should play overwatch I hear it's like TF2 but with waifus

>>18157987
It's not exactly like Tf2 but it comes pretty close.

I need to get another electrician gig and get finish my degree, i should of had my license already but i wasted too much time, stuck in a child like mentality, i need someone to help and mentor me but there is nobody in sight. Motivation comes and goes like the weather and pain is drowned in a sea of green. will i be anything more than another man? i like to think so but life proves me wrong. i dont like to vent to people, i like to vent to strangers..those who dont care. Depression manifests itself in to the bricks i use to cut myself off from the world. Emotion is frowned upon and the apathy of man is the only tool we use to save ourselves from this prison.Time ticks away as i try to communicate to my future self using my past.Only in hindsight can i see my path...but for now i wander the woods alone,cold and blind. when the hyenas of the world laugh and have me surrounded, i think back to my roots and remember the quote "what the mind of man can conceive, the hand of man can achieve" and i remember that i am a god and i can create my world in my image. so here i am today typing the thoughts i keep locked away in my brain. god willing i will let my brain out of the cage i keep him in and let him free and maybe meet more souls like me

>>18156093
I'm actually disapointed at myself... it's been almost 2 years since I finished college and still didn't find a way to make money since working outside never worked thanks to being easily nervous near others, and living thanks to my parents and brother.
I wish I could just find something I'm actually good at and develop it, I'm not as good as my brother in drawing to make a living with art, and the few stitches works I managed to create have real monetary value where I live, so it's kinda useless skill that I got...
if only I could do one thing, one single thing that I could sell!!

>>18157987
>>18157998
>>18157971

That reminds me, to all three of you
>try to get into and enjoy tf2
>buy some cosmetics and weapons
>try to enjoy shit
>get pubREKT
>get anally eviscerated in just about every single pub match
>let's not even get started on MGE servers
>slowly crying on the inside
>realize that no matter what, this game will always be better than Realm of The Mad God, but at the same time that's like saying tofu is better than dogshit.

I'm at a standstill. I may be a wagecuck with the buying power for Overwatch and DOOM...but honestly, I'm still wary of purchasing such high priced games.

>>18158059
Oh, I should just get down to the endgoal of the rant: I WANT TO love TF2, but I just hate it when everything I do just goes to shit. I want to have fun with my Dr.'s Dapper Topper+Gift Bringer+All-Father Heavy, but he just gets shit on every day he lives.

Every time the way you treated me in the past affects my relationship, like when I get sensitive about something I shouldn't be or when I want to run away when the SLIGHTEST sign of conflict happens...

I want to kill you a little more. I never thought I would feel this way, let alone feeling this way about the man I loved for so many years. It's going to eat me up inside.

I need to start reading up on Buddhism or something.

>>18158084
Why are you choosing to allow your past relationships to effect you? Wo/man up, confront your issues, tackle them, and move on.

L,
I miss you.

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Love me and allow me to prep you meals and have hot sweaty sex with you after the gym!

>>18158146
no

>>18158149
gtfo

>>18157781
At this point I can't tell if you're just shit posting, or if you're really having this many issues over what happened.

She gave me a hug tonight. It sucks that she's leaving for a few months. I should've done something more, bit her being gone would've stopped it.

But now, all I can do is keep in touch, do more when she comes back.

She's sweet, cute, lovely.

I could see myself with her. I just hope I can manage

>>18158126
I miss you too

If I have to hear one more fucking remark about an interracial or homosexual couple on tv or in real life. Who gives a fuck. It doesn't matter if there are more Asians doing commercials. or more Latinos in office positions or more blacks becoming cops. There's no fucking reason to continue pointing out these "exceptional" events if they happen all the time.

How many people on /adv/ have cats?

>>18158185
Well I do. Do you?

>>18158186
I have 2. I wanna see some cats. Can we post pics or will the mods flip?

I've been working in the grocery business for 5 years and the shitty people never go away. No matter how empathetic I am towards customer concerns or a coworkers problems, everyone just upholds their bad attitudes. I feel like I'm too lenient and forget to focus on my own feelings. I've started to act like everyone else and get upset over stupid shit and care less, but it seems that it's not my destiny to be a dick, because it always comes back around to me...

>>18158187
I'm not sure. You're probably better off posting your kik or something and letting people send them directly to you. If you do, you can recieve pics of my 3.

I'm a fucking loser. I've never had a girlfriend. Only a long distance relationship, and I fucked that up by just lying. Now one coworker is crushing on me hard, and they're moving across state. I've had my chances to get with them, but I'm too fucking uncertain about this shit now, and telling them off would be annoying.

I hate being a pussy.

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>>18157460
Was studying game design last year, got a crush on a girl who lived in the same apartment complex as I, had my heart crushed when I realized that she didn't give a shit about me and only pretended to be my friend, got over it during the summer, finished the game design course, lost my social circle as the course ended, and now I am on a course that prepares me for university, while also working on trying to get to study graphic design/animation as a backup plan, though the stress about all of this is making me very anxious and fueling my depression.

I haven't seen my cousins since last spring, because of a row I had with my aunt, that ended up with her accusing me of being a threat to my cousins and not so subtly implying that I am a pedophile. Pretty much broke all relations our families had had as long as I have been alive. My mother hasn't spoken with my aunt since.

So in short, I guess there have been ups and downs, but mostly downs.

>>18158199
Not having a girlfriend means nothing other than you don't have a girlfriend. You're better off until the right person ends up in your life, not somebody used as a crutch for your ego. I just broke up with mine,but I feel better. They can become highly overrated if they're not the right person and it's not worth the time or psychological stress.

>overslept
>in hurry to get ready for work
>forget to put deodorant on after the shower
>soap and laundry detergent make up for it
>gf surprised me by showing up at end of my shift
>hug
>realize my error from the morning
>try to shy away from her so she won't smell stank armpit
>says I smell amazing
>wants to know what deodorant I have on
>buries herself into my underarm
>tell her it's a secret but she won't let up on the issue
>agree that if she guesses the brand, I'll tell her the name of the scent
>naturally, she doesn't guess it
>entire night keeping arms down
>she's practically riding my dick for the name of my body odor
>end of night say she'll never know since she can't guess the brand
>a few weeks later
>work schedules prevented date night for a week
>meet her at her job after she's off work
>give her a hug
>smell something spicy, sweet, and almost like an irritant
>instant almost to point of no return erection
>wot
>sniff around her
>she feels dick
>"you must have missed me"
>realize source of smell is her underarm
>she forgot deodorant on one arm
>realize we're both extremely turned on by the other's body odor
>pleasant date otherwise
>get home
>weep at the degeneracy
>shitpost across 4chan

i know you have other guy friends but just please give me a fucking chance, youre all i want

>>18158216
Then tell me that

>>18158212
That just means you both love each other in nasty, wicked, hot ways.
>tfw no kinky stinky gf
I won't ever know why I don't kms when really, what am I living for?

>>18156093
Brother died this year. Lost his mind and killed himself. Grandma died, old. Grandpa died, agent orange. I feel like a significant part of my childhood and life has been ripped away this year. It's painful, and I've been in a slow downward spiral for nearly a year now.

I'm turning 30 this year. Nobody knows it yet but in a few more years I'll be gaining financial strength and facilitating the advent of small human development projects around the globe.

They're just places to live. How are there no places to live?

What are taxes? Why are humans incapable of sharing when there's so much to go around? How does a man work 8 hours in an office and reap less than 1 hour in the garden?

Who is Conan O'brien and why is she so sad?

I feel like my environment around me and myself, being alone most of the time, pulls me down towards sadness (which I've already reached for the most part) and depression, and the only thing I keep looking up to is moving away to another country, where I feel more like I belong and already met people that made me feel okay about myself and let me see better sides of myself which I don't get to see here nearly at all. Thing is, as of now, I have to go to the army here for 3 years and I don't think I'll survive that mentally, I think I'll end up killing myself somewhere in the beginning of that time.

help?

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>>18158197
How could they ban this face?!?!
>old pic but relevant

>>18158205
Guess I might have to tell her off then. Hate being a virgin.

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>>18158247
>Lost my grandpa in 2012 because he committed suicide. No idea why, but he just did it.
>Grandma died to stage 4 metastasized lung cancer, literally drowning in her own tainted blood, only to later succumb to massive morphine doses and a plug-pull.
>Uncle, while not dead, succumbed to being white trash
>Mom, while not dead, succumbed to homelessness and drugs. her kidneys are fucked, however.
>brother deported to the south side of the state
>dad died due to multiple organ failure from drinking to many of his own moonshines
>mfw I'm the only one that remains of my past

>obtained a job since last year
>got a studio, then a 1 bedroom
>dating a cute girl. not a real relationship yet, but it's getting there
>ate healthier and fought harder to make myself look better
>actually made friends while on this path

It hurts so very much. Though I'm in tip-top shape...does it matter when my loved ones are all but gone, and I'm just with total strangers for the rest of my life? Sorry to sound like anime, but I JUST WANT MY FUCKING FAMILY BACK. I live in ceaseless agony knowing most of them got the shit end of the stick, and though I basically won myself the life lottery...I can't help but feel tremendous guilt.

Even without that, I'm just sad all the time. I feel everything I do is wrong, because it's so unlike me since 5 years ago. I'm a shadow of what I once was. A ghost who's shell is that of a boy that died long ago. His smile is all but a troubled cry for help, wondering how he'll make it in this life as his loved ones depart to horrible fates. All that boy does is wander into the abyss of what is known...as the real world. To him, it's scary and bleak, but unlike the other kids, he has no help. He's trapped in a vessel that passes off as a man without an actual man to guide him through.

>>18158277
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_18VjexJKI

Cheer up Charlie. Jesus is coming.

>>18158277
Damn, but I guess now its time for you to have your own family. Hope you get better, seems like everyone is fucked up now...

You make me happy.
You bring my blood to a boil.
I hate you.
I want you.
I love you.
Repeat ad nauseam, til february 2018.

>Anxiety and depression cycles endlessly for years
>Recently be so depressed that I am sleeping over 18 hours a day
>Have no energy to stand, eat or even shower
>Scared and asking for help
>tfw no friends
>Family publicly offers assistance
>Privately tells me to get over it and fuck off
>Can't afford insurance or therapy
>End up popping some pills again to feel better
>Hate myself because my only options in life is to be a lonely, dysfunctional and miserable human being or be a lonely, barely functioning, miserable drug addict

I don't want to be a drug addict. I want my brain to work normally like everyone else's. I want to be able to be happy without dark afterthoughts and insecurities. I want to be able to make friends and trust people to care about me and not use me. I want to be afraid of normal things like bungee jumping instead of talking on the phone. I hate going online and seeing these stories of hope where people get their supportive friends and family and caring doctors because those just don't look like an option for me anymore.

>>18157498
I guess I messed up, huh?

>>18158126
Are you an N.? Because if so: You told me we wouldn't be an item and I've agonised over it since. I'm finally getting better now so if you really want me back in your life I'd much appreciate your weeklong ghosting.

Im constantly fucking up every plan i make. Quit smoking i say, get fit i say. Save money i say, go to school.... And its not just these short sentences, they are fucking monologue's that I give myself...and yet, bought another fucking vidya game, ordered pizza and just got another pack after 24 hrs cig free. Im a fucking 29yr old loser. Loser because i understand that change doesnt come easy, i understand that consistent efforts is the only thing that gets you to where you want to be. Discipline being the key. Why the fuck am i struggling so much just to take some simple steps in order to improve this shit life. Id kill myself if i didnt believe that as long as there is a tiny sliver of possibilty for the changes i want that id have to go on. Its gonna be a long life. fuck this shit. Fuck im so mad at myself.

>>18156093
Why is it so fucking hard to find a switch girl. Why most of the women are either pure "I'm your slut but not too much, Fifty Shades of Gray teehee" submissive walking stereotype or just plain boring vanilla.

I wonder if I'm letting my dreams become dreams. What I want in life is so simple.. a guy to ride bikes with, to smoke with in the evenings, to cook food with, to lift with, to talk about things until the sun comes up, to watch the stars come out at night, jam out to tunes with while the windows are rolled down, to grow old together and have cute kids. I wanna push his boundaries with religion and politics and taste his mind and expand it a bit. Have heated discussions that lead to angry, well, you know. Someone on the submissive side who would let me peg him some times and wear sissy panties for me. I'm so bored with the chaff around here. Need some real action after having a taste.

>>18158355
Pick one thing, literally any activity that doesn't involve feeding your fat face, sitting on your fat ass, you know, the things that enable you to ruminate....

T. Older looser who's tried everything under the sun to get life i some sort of order and failed spectacularly but giving it yet another shot.

women are an unwinnable game.

It's destroying me that we can't be together.

I miss you so much already

Hey

I'm sorry. I know I did some pretty retarded stuff. I know I never showed it, but I really do enjoy your company. When you're not busy doing treasurer stuff, lets catch up some time. I understand if you don't want to though.

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>waste years on a degree
>get into post grad
>fuck it up
>get a job
>it's shit and unrelated
>need something more stimulating
>deserve better after that undergrad effort surely?
>everyone else who was dragging their heels are now finally on top of their shit
>everyone leaves you but two people and one of those only because you're living with them
>most contact with those friends is now online because they/you are lazy
>can't feel happy anymore unless your drunk
>get drunk with someone you met recently and their friends
>girl there into you
>mack a few times
>get black out
>doesn't respond when you message her
>don't know how you did while black out
>that group is low key off the table because of that and work times
>don't want to be social or drink 'cos you fuck it up
>can't stand being sober and droll just working and sleeping
>not even depressed or suicidal
>just feel like your missing something and that the way to get it is just around the corner somewhere
Kill me f//am. For once in my life I have this urge to improve but nowhere to put it. I've closed too many doors and I don't know how to start from scratch.

I shaved my anus hairs months back (dumb move, I know) and now I can't stop 'touching' them now that they've grown back again.

How do I stop? I keep scratching them and changing my underwear every three to four hours because of it. Am I supposed to ignore how itchy my ass is away?

>>18158616
Dude shave your ass tf

>>18158622
I'm talking about 'around the anus' hairs, though.

>>18158636
Shave it, man. You're driving yourself nuts.

I'm fucking jealous of anyone who can maintain and adapt quickly on friendship. I've been a loner since in the middle school. It's so hurt to see a group of people laughing, throwing banters around, because I know I'm too autistic to even interact with stranger. I can't even think what I should say. I know nothing about games, movies, or even cartoons like Samurai Jack because I'm too dumb and boring. I can't fit into any circle of friends. Even in a group chat I always watching without type anything. I've been trying to change, I always do. I always wanting to change myself into a more more sociable person. But I can't. I even tried omegle but I ran away. I'm too paranoid of having myself humiliated or mocked. I don't know what I should do. I'm hopeless of having friends. I always daydreaming myself going out to clubs with my friends, drink until wasted, or watching sick movies, or just playing cs:go or something together. Huh, who am I kidding. I can't even play games. I'm a garbage to humanity.

That was a lot of words. But it's still not enough for me.

I've been feeling really low for the past 6 months. Worse than I have in a very long time, a decade or so. I fell back self harm as a way of coping, which I didn't think I'd ever do again. Especially not as an adult.

I feel a great need to talk to someone, to be comforted. But no one in my life gives a shit. And those who do would take it as... I don't fucking know. A personal slight against them? A fucking contest? Either way, I know they wouldn't be able to handle it, and that I wouldn't get what I feel like I need out of them.

And there's so much shit to do. I don't have the time to be depressed. But I can't force myself to do anything constructive.

If your cheap ass abusive mother wakes my ass up on my day off again I'm going to flip, why does she live with us? She does nothing but bring you down your entire life, expecting you to raise yourself and patting her own back at what a good job she didn't do. You are better than this leech but pressuring you over this situation is like flogging a dead horse.

Stubbornness is her only legacy left to you it seems.

I just feel abandoned.

Be 22 year old Mormon who served a two year mission in Europe. Ive done my best to be a good person. Ive done my best to try to do good in school and in my job. Ive tried my best to be loyal to my family, friends and faith.
I feel like I have nothing to show for it. My father prefers my younger brother who is always getting into trouble.
Been back in the States for a year and havnt been on a date. School is kicking my ass.

I just always thought things would get better after my mission. Its hard to understand for non-mormons but there is basically this attitude

in the church that as a male you have to serve a mission to even be considered by a mormon girl. And it's very very common for tons of return missionary guys to get married within their first year back, the girls flock to them, they excell in school, land a good job etc, etc. In a way, things just seem to kind of...fall into place.

I feel like God didnt accept my service to him because I havnt recieved any kind of help in anything that I try to do. I still have to fight for everything that I have, I have nothing but bad luck and women still want nothing to do with me. Even my own mormon family doesnt seem to appreciate what I did or care, like I said, they love my younger brother more and he decided not to serve a mission.

Like I said, its difficult to understand if you're not a mormon because we very much have our own culture. Point is I guess im not living up to it, I feel ashamed of myself and wonder what I did wrong, why im not good enough for anyone and why I feel worthless and alone. Im a disappointment to everyone, even to myself.

>inb4 God doesnt exist

I want you to like me
I want you horizontally
I'd talk to you suggestively
But I feel like I am just too dirty

>>18158770
No such thing

>>18158748
It might just be a prodigal son sort of deal? They pay more attention to him, his problems, and appreciate him being good more, because he is troubled. While you seem to be on the straight and narrow, so they figure that the hands off approach works. Maybe open up about your troubles to them? Or at least someone in the church? I'm not sure how it works with Mormons, but I know most sects of Christianity can talk to their priests about what's been troubling them, especially if it relates to their faith.

Also, god not real.

>>18158748
Where did you do your mission man?
Like you said, others can't understand because they aren't Mormon, but what you're feeling isn't new, everyone feels like a disappointment and failure at some point.
Can Mormons associate with non Mormons? I thought they had so stop speaking to their former family and everything.

Why can't I care about life?

>>18158770
Kek

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https://youtu.be/QIFn0wqZx7Y

https://youtu.be/kFZKgf5WG0g

>>18158126
I, I miss you too. You know I'm still here. Reach out. Let me get hold of your hand, I promise to never let go.

A
I don't know what it is about you, but I'm attracted.
If only I wasn't such a coward, I would ask you out.

>>18159055
Just get it over with and ask her out. Do it faggot. See what happens in reality. It's either you match or not. See it for what it is. See what's reality. Otherwise it's just you and your fantasy.

I just don't get how hard it is to have a sexual relationship without getting emotions, christ.
And I even agreed to anal with you, I've comforted you when you've been drunk and crying over your ex-girlfriend, you even said I was the most incredible you have ever had in bed and you stop talking to me just like that
do you ever think about me not getting dick here
I don't have time to go dickhunting all the time
Now i need to find someone else I can secretly fuck with
do you even consider that to be a problem
honestly man, when you think you find someone emotionalness with a good sexual drive ..

I fucking hate being read and rejected, why can't you put more effort in and try to talk to me?

>>18157188
really? explain how?

>>18159114
other than finding people to be a complete waste of time..I need a lot of space.

>>18159099
>falling for the fwb meme

>>18159105
because that would take actual effort

You, you got what I need, but you said (s)he's just a friend,
And you said (s)he's just a friend.
So please listen to the message that I say,
Don't ever talk to a (g)uy who says (s)he just has a friend.

**mic drop**

>>18159156
sometimes i have maningful and interesting coversations with people that make me think or change my mind or have new ideas, don't you? What do you mean by a lot of space? A lot of time for yourself. I could understand that I'm an introvert but still I like knowing that i have someone by my side, someone i can trust, someone i deeply care about and cares about me to.

>>18158770
I chuckled, thanks anon

>>18159310
>sometimes i have maningful and interesting coversations with people that make me think or change my mind or have new ideas, don't you?
yes, I have met people like this in my life. It's nice for a while but people bore me. Moving hasn't made meeting people "fun" and the few I've organically met are plain jane vanilla. Go figure. There's basically one thing I'm interested in at this point.

>What do you mean by a lot of space?
Being alone is cozy for me. Playing vidya, reading, studying, just hanging around my cats and chatting up dudes on tinder.

>>18159346
Yeah i agree. There are few people i know that i can have meaningful conversations with i wish there were more of them. I moved fairly recently too and there are just none of that people around me so i guess that makes me lonely

>>18159359
I know that feel, senpai

>>18159365
why did you move? what are you studying in university?

>>18159379
Long story. Pharmacology. Wby?

>>18159392
just curious

>>18159398
What about you* not "why" lol

>>18159405
lol thought it was a typo i sometimes have trouble reading all these abbreviations as i'm not a native speaker. I'm an art student

I'm about to go fulfill my dream of asking random girls on the street if they'll satisfy my foot fetish by showing me their feet. Don't care how they react. wish me luck

>>18159448
godspeed anon

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Why was I banned lol

Since when did how I acted and preformed in elementary define how well I will do in uni? All A's is fucking hard in engineering. Parents are never satisfied, I don't want to do engineering anymore but im already half way to a degree so might as well finish it because of how much it costs. Always stressed out so its hard to sit and study for very long, got shitty professors this year that don't care about shitty averages. Everything is piling up and is going to crumble soon but just have to trudge through it. Lovin life

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Some people have it harder in life, trivial things can be a struggle for them.
Almost nobody acknowledges these struggles, though.

Life isn't fair, but that's okay.

The two of us were kind, understanding, and empathetic, and we both wanted to love and be loved. Fucking hurts that made us so susceptible to the same sociopath, that our desire to avoid hurting anyone made us so vulnerable, despite being so strong.

It's painful to know that if we had met naturally, under circumstances that were not so abusive, we would have created something free and beautiful.

Instead, we were left with broken trust and irrevocable damage.

I wish there were enough left between us for us to nurture something greater.

I know words don't mean a thing anymore, but for what it's worth, if you're willing to take a closer look, consider this:

After all that happened to us, we did make it through. Barely, without much left intact, but we made it through.

I'm willing to pick up that piece and start building the whole if you are.

>>18159099
you sound like a truly insufferable person

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So many of the girls (and to be fair the guys too) at my uni are vacuous and bland. So many of them only seem capable of talking about going out at night.

If I say this I guess it makes it makes me a neckbeard with impossible standards but Christ it makes me despair.

>>18159744
They are bland, but I think experience in life will give them more to talk about. If you are not autistic Id probably enjoy talking to you, but it's a sad world that we are stuck being anonymous on a chinese auto fellation site.

I'm lonely, fellas.

>>18159779
We're all lonely, speak to your close ones. It will help.

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Today I am so happy I just can't stop singing. I am worried that this might be making my wife suspicious, though.

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>>18159779
s a m e

>>18159757
You're right, good point. The sad thing is many of them show the promise of being interesting people. But they seem a little like my old friends would have been like if they were 15 and had discovered clubbing and sex.

I'm not autistic, just miserable and socially anxious.

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>>18159779
Me too anon. At least I got a cute girl talking to me. You should get a cute female to talk to.........

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>>18159827
How tho

>>18159841
>>18159827

He's full of shit. Try tinder, bro

>>18159448
If someone said that to me I'd walk away as fast as I could

>>18159857
I'd show them a clean pair of heels.

Dear Peach,

I don't know if this will ever even reach you , or even if you want it to. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't make you happy anymore. I'm sorry if I caused you any pain after our break up. I'm sorry if it seemed i got over you so quickly the weeks after we broke up. In truth, it didn't affect me that much. It just felt like another break. I think I was still holding on to a sliver of hope that we could be as we were. It never hit me until now...that it probably won't happen since you've moved on. These past days made me finally realize how much you made me happy, I guess you can tell me I'm just stupid and need to get over it. I can't. I remember how happy I was with the simple things you and me shared, like binge watching a show, going to the store late at night, or even the looks you gave me after we would hug. I regret not showing you more gratitude for everything. It kills me inside. But the one thing that's been absolutely destroying me, is going back on marrying you. I should have never said I don't want to. Never. I blew it. I'm sorry that I bring it up this late. I just don't ever remember breaking down like I have been. It's foreign to me and I can't handle it. But I see that you've found someone that makes you happy. I see you've done what is seemingly impossible for me to do, get over our breakup. I don't know how to feel about it. But at least you can move on. I still love you, I'm sorry. I don't know how to end this. I just hope that if it ever gets to you, it's in good spirits. Thank you for ever opening your heart to me and making me happy.

-Cherry

I got roofied last night.
I never thought it would ever happen to me anons, I am 6'5" white with a muscular build, living in hollywood.

Yesterday, I was making a turn on to my apartments street and this SUV wasnt paying attention and ran staight into my side. My rear left side of my shitty car is fucked, and the guy wants to pay for it out of pocket and not get insurance involved. I still got his info.

I have this on my mind, I had a long day at work, I need a beer. So I walk down to Hollywood and Vine and just go into the bar and ordered a beer, to sip on and talk to some stranger around me. I strike up a conversation with this Cholo guy who was telling me about growing up in gang life, many laughs were had.
He leaves the bar.
I put a coaster over my glass and go to the restroom. (By this time its about midnight and the bar isn't very crowded)
I come back and finish my beer pay my tab and leave. I had three (3) Lagunitas IPA's thats it.

Suddenly I am tripping on curbs.
My feet start going different directions.
"the apartment is only a 1/4 mile away ill be fine"
Im stumbling more and more. Im using walls to hold me up, I get into my buildings elevator and I am completely leaning on the wall to support myself.
I get to the apartment and the world is spinning. fast. My body feels like it is on fire and I went to the bathroom puked and blacked out on the floor.


Idk how to feel about this. I guess nothing happened. But if I had not left that bar immediately I would have been incapacitated and someone could have fucked with me.

No matter how handsome you are, how much you can lift, or how much street experience you think you have, all it takes is some chemical to take you down and that is a very humbling and unsettling truth to know.

>>18159882
Glad you're safe swolebrolo

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I don't want to be left alone. I want you to message me, you idiot. You keep saying you love me and you care, but you don't. Whether or not you can admit it, you really don't. You're just with me because you're lonely. You would've picked any girl who was nice to you. You don't have time for me anymore, so just fucking leave. I'd leave you if I wasn't terrified you'd try to ruin my life for abandoning you. Fuck off.

Couldn't sleep last night maybe got 3 hours. Had a cup of coffee and a monster energy drink this morning to compensate. Now smoking a pretty large cigar and drinking to deal with the anxiety/depression

I really need to stop turning to drugs when things get bad

Yesterday, the impossible happened. I met up with a girl from my class, and we hit it off perfectly. It wasn't a "romantic" success, but we talked actively our interests, and at times burst out laughing. It was the first time in my life that I looked directly into a girl's eyes and she at mine, and it wasn't at all weird. I've always been the overweight, lonely guy, and to think that such an insanely beautiful person would be happy in my company is a thought my mind still can't process.

Yet, I don't feel good. My apathy is so bad now that I felt almost no pleasure from it all. Even if I try my hardest to dwell on all the times I made her laugh, nothing happens. True joy has slowly been replaced with a faint aura of joy, like you're getting lost in a memory from your childhood. I'm so apathetic, I can't even be sad or distressed about it. When I realize I'm getting older and these beautiful moments will get increasingly rare and I have to take action, I feel slightly bad too. Never actually bad, though.

Apathy is like God's practical joke. It fucking sucks.

>>18159083
To be fair, a fantasy is just that...something to mentally masturbate to. I can live with that.

...Anyway, fine, but I need to know...is it truly okay to ask out a coworker? Because this A is my coworker, and though we work different areas, It's close enough that we regularly see each other.

Point is I'm asking if it's okay whether or not I...'shit where i eat'.

There's another cute girl I wanted to ask out, but I don't see her often enough. I'll throw my chances to her first. After that, I'll post the results Tuesday on THAT girl.

>>18159913
>I don't want to be left alone. I want you to message me, you idiot.
>Whether or not you can admit it, you really don't. You're just with me because you're lonely. You would've picked any girl who was nice to you.
>You don't have time for me anymore, so just fucking leave.
>I'd leave you if I wasn't terrified you'd try to ruin my life for abandoning you. Fuck off.

WOMAN LOGIC 101 GUYS TAKE NOTES.

>>18159913
also, you appear to be unstable. seek professional help.

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I fucking hate Russians, I fucking hate Slavs
I fucking hate Germans, and most of all I FUCKING HATE TOGOANS!!

>>18156093
I literally hate how I look like more than the normal person. to the point where I can't even look on the mirror. So I post in rate threads all the time hoping that I can get at least one compliment that will make the self hate go away for five minutes but it only makes it worse because all they have to say is negative and I don't know why I keep posting honestly it's the stupidest self hatred circle of events and I just want to fucking learn how to love myself. And this is the fucking cringiest shit ive ever written.

>>18160011
>Haha woman logic xd bitches are crazyy lol
>Boo hoo why don't I have a girlfriend?? Am I just inherently unlovable? Is it because I'm not tall or rich or handsome enough??? Do I need a bigger benis??????
How about killing yourself, you pathetic shit?

>>18159300
best song, 10/10

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>>18160024

>>18160024
the day i take advice from an unstable fat bitch to kms is the day hillary clinton becomes president. cunt.

>>18160028
kek

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>>18160028

so i'm pretty young, in highschool, good amt of causal friends. not a solid 10 but pretty i guess. but i swear i have like 3 boys that are semi fighting over me. i can't really make myself like anyone atm and commit to that sort of thing. i'm more introverted than these people think. i lowkey want to be alone a lot. how do i keep these guys as friends and tell them to hit the road? i get excited easy and it couldn't easily turn into a brawl

>>18160038
I'm not fat or a bitch, so I guess that day comes soon.
I'll be waiting for your thread tomorrow on how hard life is because you can't get a "cunt" of your own, buddy boy.

>>18160015
>I fucking hate Slavs
slavs are cool man,but I mostly agree as a german dude

>>18159913
Fuck you slag, I can't do all the work here.

This FUCK YOU goes out to my Sister.

Having unprotected sex doesn't win you a TV you retarded bitch, you get a KID. With that said, you claim you are more mature than me? Bitch, you'll whine about how your Son wants nothing to do with you, and how you want to spend more time with him... But you fail to have him tag along with you to do errands; your poor husband has to take care of your AUTISTIC (even though you're in fucking denial) 2-YEAR-OLD, which is stressful as hell.

So the next time I hear you complain about how your own Son wants nothing to do with you, and cries for his Dad instead - maybe you should GROW UP and STOP BEING A SPOILED SHIT.

This, coming from someone who is worked like a nigger every weekend. Taking care of said 2-year-old Autistic child, plus a 60-year-old lazy fuck...

Also, let me say this:

FUCK YOU to my Dad.
FUCK YOU for running off and leaving me to take care of the kid 99% of the time when it is YOU who wants to see the child. Granted, I adore my Nephew, and I'll do anything for him, but I AM EXHAUSTED. Mentally and Physically. I cannot get you to grasp that I cannot do this by myself.

and FUCK YOU to my MOTHER who has clung to me for as long as I can remember, and who guilts me into doing everything for her... and who also guilts me into staying with her.

When I needed help, you drove me to the Hospital - - which I am grateful for, but after an hour you were ready to go ... and I didn't get the help I needed because you "were tired"-- I AM A 30-YEAR-OLD WOMAN and I WAS PERFECTLY FINE STAYING BY MYSELF because HEY! When I had a friend take me, I GOT THE HELP I NEEDED!

And how DARE you call me UNGRATEFUL because I decided to sleep in one day instead of cooking you eggs - which you can do by yourself, you just choose not to.

I can not get out.

>>18160057
Maybe try telling their friends to tell them. Or just straight up say to their face. If they can't take that they aren't worth being friends anyway.

>>18158499
I feel this

>>18160082
Get money, get out. They're taking advantage of you because you don't know how to say no properly. You have a job right? Look up in-house rooms for rent in nearby neighborhoods.

You don't owe a damn thing to your family. If they don't respect you then you're not their hero, you're just a sucker to them.

>>18160071
The problem is I'm the one doing all the work, not you. I'm the one constantly reassuring you, making time for you and staying up til fucking 6 AM for you. But somehow, you can't do the same for me.
I thought I could handle it, but I really can't.

>>18160108
That's all I can do for now. I've been saving money the best that I can do so I can at least go somewhere and get away, even if it's for a few days.

I've said NO before, and it was the end of their world... As in... "HOW DARE U SAY NO TO ME DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I ALMOST DIED GIVING BIRTH TO YOU AND- BLAH BLAH!" - Guilting me for standing up for myself.

All I can do is keep on doing my best.

Thanks, kind Anon.

>>18159857
some girls do that, some girls don't. doesn't matter to me what a girl did I just moved on to the next one.

I can't believe you're actually gone. Your house is as it was, nothing has been changed yet - your clothes on the rack, half-finished books and sticky notes on the fridge door remindng you of important appointments and dates. Just like you've gone out somewhere and it feels like if I wait long enough then you'll come back.

I miss you so much

I don't control my life.

When I get really depressed I hear whispers. A voice saying kill yourself, do it, your worthless, over and over. I take antipsychotic medication but it still rears its head when I'm extremely depressed. Not looking for any advice in particular just here to vent. It's literally hell.

One of my best friends confuses me.

She gives me loads of compliments, says how much she likes me, touches me a lot, and other stuff. I'm not sure if she chose to spend today with me rather than with her other friends.

I think she might actually have some feelings for me. It feels like she does and I just ignore it because I fear the pain of the breakup so I sacrifice the joy of being with her.

Do it for her whyndi, do it for her

>>18159721
thanks, that's what I was going for as the 100% rebound girl I currently am

it's just, a deal is a deal you know.
But hey he literally just texted me and said he was ready, so I could come over next week. Hm. I don't even know if I should go. If I stop now he will be only be broken for a while but if I stay I could break him forever.

Oh well his emotions is not my responsibility. But then again I sort of an responsible for being so FUCKING AMAZING.
God I love ranting.

Anhedonia sounds like a death sentence. Out of all the mental illnesses I could end up with, why did it have to be the one that lasts the longest and has almost no success stories? One that's barely understood in the medical community, and is often treatment-resistant? I'm only 18, man. I sincerely feel like I'm cheated out of life right now. Scouring old forums and reading these stories, these people all had their diseases for several years. Fuck, mine has just started. Are my college years going to be wasted due to something I have no control over? If so, that's incredibly upsetting.

My one saving grace: I haven't tried meds yet. Maybe they'll just fix me right up. If so, I will be incredibly happy. If I end up trying a dozen meds and they all make me miserable like everyone else, I won't even know what to do...

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I didn't think it would sting me as much as it did, but hearing that you had a boyfriend really hit me hard. It's a bittersweet feeling to know that I can't be with you, but I can at least start getting over you. I can't believe how long it took me work up the courage to ask you out, and oddly enough I don't think you even know that I was asking you out which is sad but sorta funny. I spent so much time thinking that I'd spend the next several years enjoying being single. Somehow you were enough to make me forget all that. Hopefully you won't be able to do that in the future and I can stop thinking about you. This hurts right now but I'm sure that soon it will feel like a relief at least I hope it will.

>>18159854
Unrelated, but tried it last night
>one fucking match
I mean, at least now I know. I'm just gonna try everything available to me until there's nothing left then I'll take a nap. Romance, work, hobbies all of them are boring non-events.

Fuck you for giving up. You were so close, you could've beaten it. Cancer didn't kill you, you gave up. I miss you, but I fucking hate how you left me.

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I am at the edge of despair. The only person I feel or felt connected to, my girlfriend, is slipping away. Like fucking sand slipping through my fingers. She is the only fucking reason I wake up with hope. She is my reason, and I can feel her getting distant.
We have a lot in common. Maybe too much. I think she just got tired of my destructive, depressive mindset. We talked about it several times and she did cheer me up sometimes, but it looks like it's over.
We understand each other without the need of using words sometimes. We have a strong connection; everything looked so easy because of that.
I. Have. No. One. Else.
If it isn't her, it's no one. I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid of my suicidal thoughts getting stronger than me. I can't get this fucking pain out of me.
I can't kill myself, I'm so scared.
We were happy. I want her to be happy, she really deserves it.

The worst thing is having to come to an internet site full of strangers just for my message to be read. Sorry about the bad english. I have no one else.

>>18160601
It'll be okay anon. I can't speak for anyone here and I may not have ever/will ever meet you, but, I appreciate you senpai. You got this.

>>18160061
>not a bitch
That may not be entirely accurate

I want to just say something. 2 years ago, after everything that happened back then. When you came back, I didn't try again wanting to mess it all up. I know you didn't try again hoping for all this happen. To be honest, I selfishly viewed it that way until recently. I'm sorry. You tried to get your voice through, but I simply didn't listen. I do feel bad, but not because of me, because I hurt you and cost you so much. I know you're very busy these days, and I hope you can get through it all. I hope that you find your colors again, that you find that which will make you happy. Don't hate your life, it's too beautiful to feel about it in that way. Have good night and good bye.

>>18160601
Appreciate her, mate, without worrying about losing her.
It's hard to separate the two, but if you do, it's just pure happiness.

What's your native language, by the way?

Alright, best to get it all out
Bear in mind I'm a 22 year old full time STEM student with a part time job.

-Never have enough money as it literally all goes to rent, groceries and utilities
-Have to constantly lean on my parents for financial support (which they understandably hate)
-Have never been in a relationship let alone kissed/held hands with another human being
-Never have enough time to study because job.
-Doing very poorly regarding my classes
-Think I may be too attached to my straight roommate to the point that it may be crushing. Jesus.
-Extremely stressed out and have been emotionally unstable and distant with friends and rest of the world

I just sometimes think I can't connect with other people. My roommate is literally the one person in the world who knows me the best. One of the two people I was comfortable enough to talk to about my sexuality. It's probably why I'm so dependent but every time he mentions a girlfriend I get kind of uncomfortable and jealous.

God I need help but I'm not sure where to start. I don't want to lose his friendship but I need clarity.

I had a crush on you for years. You blow me, then don't talk to me when I try and text you.
Fuck you, dude. I wish I never cared about you.

>>18160626
Thanks, anon. I really appreciate your words.

>>18160708
Really hard, indeed. I can't stop worrying about losing something or someone I really like. I'm so fucking insecure, I feel like a whiny bitch.

Brazilian portuguese. I'm fluent in spanish too.

>>18160741
I don't know much in Portugese (Brazilian or otherwise) that wasn't in Orson Scott Card's Speaker for the Dead/Xenocide.
I wish I could swear at you in your native language .

Anyways, yeah it's so fucking hard.
When I was in a hard place, nature really helped me. I used to take a book and sit out in the sunny shade for a few hours.

Some old Italian nigger said
>You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength

Nature helped me find this truth

>>18160741
I feel like we're in a similar situation. I'm trying to be optimistic yet everything keeps going wrong.

I won't give up though. I hope that no matter what, you don't give up either. I wish you the best.

>>18156093
So im a 19yo male and i turn 20 in april. I use to be a "normal" teen with a lot of friends. I moved on my own and started hanging around with guys older than me and with peer pressure i started smoking weed daily and later on i started doing ecstasy and acid all so. Dropped out of school and just hung around with these lowlife types for about 2 years. Last summer for some reason i realised I'm not alright and stopped using drugs. I moved back to my moms place after a couple months of being homeless and after that i have been depressed and i experience major derealisation/ depersonalisation/ dissociation daily. I got a job 2 weeks ago and i barely manage to go there on time and I'm just fucking tired and stressed out. I want to go back to school in the future but first i need to get my head straight and save up some money. I have no irl friends anymore because i lost contact with my old friends when i started doing drugs and i don't want to be around the drug using ones anymore. I have no one to talk to about my depression etc because i don't want to but pressure on my relationship with my mom because she's working hard and has her own problems (mental problems also and an alcoholic). i don't speak with my dad because I'm so embarrassed about my drug use and my situation rn. I know i just need to pull myself together and go to work and do something more than just watch netflix on my spare time. but life feels so dream like and i have no interest in anything and nothing seems to have value anymore. for a young man who's a dropout and a former addict my future seems dull and depressing like the present moment. I had everything going for me and then i fucked it all up. sorry for the vent i just needed to get this off my chest.

Fuck it. I'm going to be a rock star.

>>18160840
Apparently I already am a rockstar.

You know, in the real world and not this weird make-believe you guys have me living.

It's not the promises of fame, money, and women that compel me... to make me want this so fucking badly. To make me want it as soon as possible.

It's the mystery, the unknown.... knowledge. I need this and I will gladly give up everything for it.

I killed an illegal a couple weeks ago, dumped his body in the woods. Police found it the other day but I definitely got away with it.

>>18159105
No, you're going to have to talk to me first.

>>18160276
thanks

>>18160829
Look man. You're young. You have time. You'll be okay.

I'm in the same position but I'm three years older. Do you ever feel like you just want time to slow down? Like if you could just stop time for just a few hours to sleep and think about your life free from distractions and the ticking of the clock, that you'd be able to sort it all out?

You made bad decisions. And maybe you should think about why you made those decisions. You think you fucked up, that you threw it all away and that you were happier. But your life isn't ruined because you made some bad decisions. It will be if you let it but that's really only revealed to you in hindsight.

Thing is, you're still the same guy. Always have been. You're okay and you're gonna get through this. No shoulds, only coulds. You could've not smoked weed but you didn't. Move on.

Like I said, you'll be okay. I can't remember if you said so or not but get a job and save up. Treat yourself to something different every week and read a different book every week. Reach out to friends. They're not upset. Those things helped me out tremendously.

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I can't stand working here anymore. I'm so sick of customer service but I can't do a damn thing about it. Nobody cares if I have social anxiety and there's nothing I can do. I just gotta get over it and suffer through it. I thought it would be ok since it involves animals but the people are all just too stupid and rude and I can't take it anymore. I've only been here a month.

I'm considering leaving because all I can think about during work is not being there. We're understaffed, it gets too busy, and they didn't do shit to train me right. I had to learn the hard way. I hate this. I'm losing sleep because all I can think about is how horrible the next day will be. And the pay isn't even worth it.

I know I'm being a whiny bitch because some people out there don't even have a job, but this is just too much. I don't like fast-paced jobs. I'm too stupid to multitask and I have shitty common sense. I work my ass off to make up for this so jobs still tend to like me, but this is above and beyond my usual stress levels and I can't handle it. I know my options are limited because of this but maybe I just have to accept that I'm just a socially retarded human being who's doomed to live a life like this. And working 10 days in a row with only 1 day off in between (I get paid weekly) makes it even worse. I just can't fucking take it any more. It's to the point where I can't remember the last time I genuinely smiled or laughed.

I wish someone would hit me with their car or something so I didn't have to go in tomorrow. Yes I know there are faaarrr worse jobs than mine, like crab fishing and all that. But fuck man.

I really want to break up with my girlfriend, but I can't, I'm scared of being alone, but I just keep making her angry or sad

Alright, so my first bf...
We met in freshmen year and we started off as friends
He was tall and attractive and fit
I am/was very chubby and not very pretty
He was dating this other girl at the time
He said they broke up, and a few days later he asks me out
Wtf.jpeg
I say yes even though i didnt really feel that way about him, because i was incredibly lonely
He knows im agnostic (he was very christian).
He often let me know that if i dont become a christan i will burn in hell, etc.
He wasnt a good bf
We never got to the point of kissing, he didnt seem interested
He told me he loved me tho
I said it back
A month later he breaks up with me
Tells me its because im agnostic
Oh ok.....
So then i was single again. Yay
Stayed friends with him on facebook for some reason
Browsing fb a couple days later, and come across a post involving him and his ex gf
He was begging her to come back and she refused him
"Please babe i broke up with her because i want you. I only dated her to make you jelous..."
She continues to refuse him and they argue more
I block them both
I didnt cry but omg, fuck
He didnt even like me. He ruined a good friendship for this
How could anyone say they lovd someone and not mean it
I never confronted him about this but i should have
Its bothered me for years how he could be such an asshole to me
I have moved on, and I'm in a two year relationship with a guy he introduced me to when we were friends(lol)
Im very happy and content with how tgings currently are

Sorry about the long post, just wanted to get all of that drama off my chest.

I want to be a superhero.

No joke. I literally want to be someone the kids look up to and hope to be. I want to stop wars and save children and teach people good doctrine and principles. I want to find a way to fix Afghanistan without killing off the Taliban and reintroducing them to society. I want to fix Israel without using a nuke and making them agree with the Palestinians. I want to overthrow Iran's government in favor of the old one.

But I get really frustrated since I don't know where to start. I like helping people. But I acknowledge that helping people and saving them are two different things. Helping people won't be enough. Do I take up arms training? Do I get a degree? Do I smuggle myself into Afghanistan? Do I take on a new identity? Should I apply for the military? Should I become a gun-for-hire? Volunteer work?

There are so many questions in my head and when I do think I know the answer a hundred more problems come to mind. I'm considering killing myself since I can't find any other way to live and I've convinced myself that this is the only path but I can't since no one seems to think this way and this thinking would be the only way to give those kids peace.

I just want a future where I won't see anyone crying because of war again.

>>18160997
No alternative job options?

>>18161011
If you want to break up, do it. I do know how you feel. If you arent happy, then things need to change. You may meet someone with whom you are happier with. I know i dont have a way with words really, but loneliness (in my opinion) is being stuck with someone you dont even want to be with in the first place

>>18161041
that dudes got issues

>>18161060
I wish I could stop time or teleport, I could probably dismantle ISIS within a month.

>>18158527
I miss me, too.
I was a great guy.
Handsome, strong, modest...
I'd totally fuck me.
Hell, I might even call back the next day.

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Fuck. Someone I knew long time ago just lost her child, but I don't know how to approach her. I never liked her because she had a huge crush on me and basically stalked me 24/7 so she freaked the hell out of me back then. I feel obligated to show her my condolences but I don't know how. Gotta think about this for a while.

What does smegma look like? Is it liquid and whitish-yellow because my dick was burning up the other day.

>>18161084
Kill yourself, narcissistic asshat

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Dear /adv/,

I just don't know what to do. I've got pretty much every aspect of my life undercontrol. School is going great my gpa is commendable. I have a very good sense of self and a great group of friends that enjoys being around me. My family relationship is great, I've started going to the gym regularly and am seeing steady progress but there's one thing that constantly bothers me to the point of obsession.

I'm totally obsessed with trying to get laid/find a girlfriend. It seems like its the only aspect of my life that I don't have any control over. I recently cut ties with a girl I fucked on the regular because I perceive her as being ugly (according to social standards, not like I couldn't get my dick up with her I just think I could do much better). I've just returned from a night out and I've had a decent number of girls make good eye contact with me but I don't know how to proceed or if it means anything other than eye contact, I may be grasping at straws.

/adv/ I just need some guidance. Should I just try and focus on self improvement (i.e. the gym) and school work? I'm 19 years old and I know I've got my whole life ahead of me but I can't help but be extremely jealous when I hear stories of guys pulling all around me when I know I could do the same.

>>18161121
You wish you could wear my ass on your hat.
I don't blame you, it is pretty damn hot.

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>>18161061
There are, but most of the jobs in general involve customer service and working well under pressure. I know "practice makes perfect" and I've been forcing myself to work under these expectations all my life because well...that's just how the world is. But I haven't been able to change much just by making myself do the things I hate so I'm starting to think there might be something mentally wrong with me. Most "normal" people wouldn't mind my current job and would love the fast-paced setting. But I just can't stand it.

I'm going to keep applying at different places hoping they won't be as bad as my current job, but I'm scared that no matter where I go it'll always be the same. If only I could've stayed at my old job where I did nothing but work with dogs. But the pay was shit and they treated us like shit and the weather here is too awful for that kind of labor for me.

I just applied at a Teavana because I really like tea. I hope to god they call me back. But then the whole cycle of me being a slow learner and being really dumb behind the register will start all over again. I try really really hard. I really do. I could work after hours cleaning and organizing and learning about tea if that's what it took. I'm just...dumb as fuck under pressure in front of people and I don't know how to stop it.

>>18161118
Signs of smegma can include foul odor and white discharge under the foreskin.
Wash under ur foreskin with cold water (no soap) for a bit. If it doesnt get better, and if the pain continues, see a doctor because it could be an std or sti.

of course you sent the wrong fucking text to me

god fucking dammit.

I think im a maniac because im laughing about this like a fucking murderer cuz it always happens like this

>>18161134
Can I peg it instead

>>18161172
What did the text say?

I'm 26. He's been seeing a twice divorced, 41yr old - who has a kid, behind my back. They just got engaged. I hope the whole family dies of ass cancer

>>18161179
basically along the lines of "you always say we should hang so lets do this or stop texting me"

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It's been 3 years already. In 9 moths I'll be done with school. But. It took my group 3 years to finally get along. On Friday, 10 of us gathered and hanged out. We bought meat, veggies, and cooked them while talking and telling stories about our training semester. Everyone had a couple of drinks. It was fun. But, to be honest . I didn't feel great hanging there.

See, my problem is, I've been feeling rather unmotivated for a while now. I didn't have a good experience during the training semester. To me it was boring, I stayed in my country. Everyone else left the country during that semester. They traveled, they met new people, some even made a good amount of cash while outside. They all have great stories to tell, their adventures and misfortunes, their successs and failure.

But not me. And it wasn't because I couldn't leave, but because I didn't like what I was being offered. And this is because, for a while now, I've been rather disappointed with the choices I've taken this past 3 years. I followed my parents advice for a career, and now, I am 9 months away from finishing it. I've regretted following their advice for 3 years. But it wasn't as annoying as this past months.

Lately I've really felt like I don't belong in the place I am. I feel like I share nothing in common with my classmates. I have taken defensive attitudes as well. I fear I even shoved away a girl who was possible interested in me. I feel like my thoughts finally took a toll on me.

This semester we have a tough group project that involves all my classmates. It's a project that involves being social and convincing. But I have lost all interest in keeping up with it, i rather have a test, even if the highest grade possible was mediocre, but I wouldn't care, I just don't want to do that project. I don't care about it.

Could've, would've, should've. I had the chance to study something else 3 years ago, and I chose wrong. Maybe I'd rather happy if I had the chance to be somewhere else.

>>18156102
Gross. Glad you fucking left her/him/xim. What a piece of garbage. Good luck, anon, there is somebody out there who will treat you well and won't be a psychopath.

>>18161183
oh nows shes calling me

I don't know what to do lol and shes out partying so im just not going to reply and go back to being stoned/drunk and watching netflix

Yesterday I spent a couple of hours out with a friend. I hope that someone saw us and starts gossip that we are secretly fucking. I'd enjoy that.

Just waiting. Waiting waiting waiting.

You guys are reading this as I type it so... sigh.

SIiiighhhhhhhh

I'm depressed and am taking it out on my bf.

>>18161215
Stop it. He's going to leave you. Sort your shit out before you lose everything you hold dear.

It happened to me before and it left me a broken human being. Don't make the same mistake I did.

>>18161225
I feel like a huge failure and incompetent around him. Extreme feelings of guilt and worthlessness. I feel noticeably better when he's not there. I wish I asked someone else out in college and not him. Now we're living together and I am too scared to separate.

I agree stop taking it out on them. I had unchecked anxiety and took it out on my SO. I regret every moment i did take it out on her.

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>>18157290
Take it from a guy about to graduate college. Dating in high school don't mean shit for dick. Date after fucking around a bit in college. Best time to hoe around.

I want my best friend to tell me he loves me so I can stop thinking I'm a burden to him. I feel like a fag and a sorry piece of shit around him and it makes me resent him at times. But honestly I love spending time with him. Mixed feelings.

>>18161236
Seek help. Also in the long run it'll be better to separate since it would be better than living in agony together any longer than you already are.

So get professional help or leave him. Things can't just go on as they are or it'll only get worse. You need time to grow as a person before you start a life with someone else.

My father was something of a jackass for most of my childhood. He was an irritable person who'd snap from what you thought was friendly banter to threatening you with violence. When he was having a shitty day, he would make sure that everybody around him felt that too. The ugliest part was these painfully transparent faces he'd put on. As of writing this, I just put my finger on what it was that bothered me so much. Whenever things were going bad, as they often did, he would get angry and threaten me. He'd then try to force me to smile after he had just verbally berated me. He would muster the cheeriest tone of voice and facial expressions he could, and he'd say with a big grin on his face, "Smile!" He would try to look happy. He would try to sound happy. He would tell us to be happy. But under all that, it was just a threat. The threat of, "If you don't improve your attitude this moment, I'm going to beat the shit out of you." Later, all that ugliness seemed to retreat back into the depths and he relaxed. When I made mistakes and was afraid that I was going to be yelled at, he was understanding and forgiving. I might even say at some point I felt proud to be his son. But then, occasionally, his off handed comments about other people would remind me that maybe he hasn't changed. Maybe he's learned to cope so he didn't lose his family, but that ugliness seeps through the cracks sometimes.

I sometimes want to ask him if he regrets what he's done to our family. What he did to me. I just want to hear it from his mouth. Tell me that you thought you were awful. Tell me that you're sorry... but I'm afraid you won't. I'm afraid that you'll take it lightly. I'm afraid you'll take it lightly. I'm afraid you'll show me that you're still that monster that I thought you were all those years ago. I know... that I can't win in this situation. If you are a better person, then I'll just hurt you as you're trying so hard to move on. If you aren't, then I'll just lose a parent.

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Opiates are nice. Really nice as long as you have an unlimited supply.

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you piss me off so much. I hate how considerate you are. You just want to hear me say it and while I appreciate the notion and regard for my safety, I can't humiliate myself and ask you to fuck me or kiss me or anything. make the move because looking up at you is intimidating and I can barely reach to kiss you

>>18156250
>inb4 'astrology is bullshit'
Hi man, I'm a Taurus. I also am a firm believer in the power of astrology.
It's easy for you to look out for your strongest compatibility in sun signs, but what those compatibilities don't take into account for are Moon, Mars and Venus signs (most especially Venus).
I'm guessing you're a Capricorn (or Cancer). Don't look for your partner based on their star sign. I've fallen for that trap before and, even as a Taurus, my relationship with a Capricorn didn't go according to the stars, but that's because my Venus sign (Venus rules relationships, love, dating, beauty, etc.) clashed with his and we ended up having little to no chemistry at all.

Not to mention some people get turned off by astrology talk so asking a girl about their star sign and then blatantly explaining that you two are a perfect match will either force a relationship that doesn't work, or scares one away that could potentially have worked wonderfully.

Basically, don't get hung up that your perfect match is out of your life. It's not the be-all and end-all. I'm guessing her Venus was in Gemini or something, because she sounds flighty. But yeah, dude.
If you are a Capricorn, it's not only Taurus you're compatible with, but Virgo, Pisces and Scorpio! (Scorpio's are pretty wonderful; they are as similarly passionate lovers as Taurus).

Good luck <3

>>18161267
Rape is bad-desu.

>match with girl on tinder
>we hit it off, get a date sorted for Saturday
>talking all the time leading up to the day
>Saturday comes, suddenly she doesn't respond to any of my messages
What the fuck is this? She didn't even unmatch, she's just ghosting me for seemingly no reason. I honestly don't know what has happened.

>>18161297
Yeah that's how ghosting works. Give one last hit before you leave, like do some damage if you can, to salvage what you can from your ego and move on bruh

I really dont see the point of my existence. Theres nothing I enjoy, and everything I wanted to achieve as a kid seems extremely unrealistic now.
Never really fit in and for good reason. Never was good at adapting or changing either. Not witty nothing like that. Others might say its insecurity, I call it realism. We cant all be chad thundercock with +100 charisma and intelligence.

eugenics wouldve solved many of todays issues.

Hope your day is better than mine anons.

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Four years.
It's been four years and still I haven't even gotten a shred of over it.

It hurts the same,
but this time there is a wave of regret and confusion thrown in the mix.

What am I supposed to do?
What the fuck am I going to do now?

Now that it seems that I still wish to keep her as much as when I did,
if not more.

Now that it seems that all I ever wished for those times of solitude was for someone like her
to be mine.

And now I am the fool.
I am the fool for not picking up the pieces and moving on.
I am the fool for brooding all this time over a conflict that only played in my head.

Christ.
Fucking hell.

What do I do now?

Do I live through another 4 years of painful fading memories,
or do I reconcile with the idea that I am not the only one someone could love.

This cut too deep to say before, but I know it's true.
I wanted to be the only one.
Wanted to be special.

Wanted to be someone who could be the first and last,
and even hurt those more who lost me.

How I loved you.
How I still long with every beat of my heart for someone like you to care for.

And how alone I feel when I realize you are gone,
and I am left with nothing but a false hope.

How deep this abyss of dread and remorse for a time that slipped through my fingers like sound.

I am spent.
I am done.

I wanted to forget and forgive,
but it seems as if I am the only one who couldn't.

This is my end.
This is the bedrock of my emotion.

I can't go on.
Not now.

Four years.
It's been four fucking years.

>>18161317
When you aren't moving, everything seems out of reach.

>>18161302
Isn't that how you end up on those blogs where people laugh at how much of a raging autist you are

>>18161269
I'm Capricorn ascendant, moon sign is Aries(although I don't see the latter).

Thanks man.

Ive become a grumpy old man, Everything bothers and annoys me. Is it acceptable to have minimal interaction with family so they dont have to put up with my bullshit

I'm still angry.

Yep, I do wanna talk. I have a great gf who I am crazy about but whenever I am drunk I just wanna chat with random chicks and get them to admit they are attracted to me. I hate myself in the morning. Whats the deal?

I think I found the one for me, but I keep telling myself I'm imagining it and I know I'm about to sabotage it

>>18161327
Well, you're already here aren't you?

really confused right now, adv
Im pretty sure I am in love with my best friend and I don't understand my sexuality (or lack thereof). I dont want sexual things really from anyone. At least not anyone so far. But i cant stop thinking about hugging him and kissing and holding hands. I dont want this

TIL I am not autistic. Today was a good fucking day.

>>18161400
How did you do that anon?

>>18161370
People don't laugh at me here...right?

>>18161406
They might but they don't know who you are so it doesn't matter.

>>18160648
Based on anonymous 4chan posts? Maybe. Based on everything else? Nope.

the frustration gets overwhelming at times, if such things as soul mates exist i believe we are, and im glad your happy, but no matter how many people nor how much time i fill your absence with, i just cant shake how i feel. we are two sides of the same coin

Every community I go to I end up hating it. people are just so unpleasant and psychotic no matter how many common interests we have. I just genuinely hate most people

You know I'm good to go at any time right?

Any time. Just... any any time.

Preferably RIGHT NOW.

>>18161496
Please put my battered bones to rest.

>>18161502
Ok

I go to him because he takes away the sting of your rejections. He makes me feel so sexy. That's all I need; to be wanted in that way.
As long as porn is your go to, he'll be my go to. I'm sorry but I don't feel guilty and I know I should. I just don't. His dick is smaller but he actually eats me out. You've never wanted to do that. I'll probably be caught sooner or later but for now, I'll get my fix that you won't give me from him. I love you.

I joined a group for people with depression and it just reinforced for me that people going through the same problems definitely don't have the same experiences when they receive different responses for their requests for help and support. I know it's obvious that everybody has different experiences but many people act as if that's not true at all when different people require different help. I see all the young women post selfies of themselves looking very dolled up but sad or crying and simply saying, "Somebody make me feel better" and people come out in droves to tell them every thing will be alright. Unattractive women get ignored or some generic dismissive response and worse, men will either get ignored or lectured for asking for help instead of solving the problems themselves.

So when somebody who doesn't immediately get that "You'll be alright, you wonderful person" response when they ask for help kills themselves, it's unfair to call them weak when they had to endure their pain alone and worse, watch others receive the help nobody wanted to extend to them. Of course somebody who received a lot of assistance can get through it. It's tl;dr but nobody wants to acknowledge this and it bugs me.

>>18161568
>his dick is smaller but he actually eats me out
This is comforting.

>>18161618
Most girls don't care about small dicks but balding heads is something they don't like

>>18161628
Are you saying Vin Diesel is unappealing then?

I am turning into my mother, and it is severely depressing me.

By "turning into my mother" I don't mean personality wise, I mean physically.

When I have a coughing fit, I piss myself.
Also, when I have a coughing fit, I throw up.

There are medications, I know this, to combat incontinence issues, but they throw UTIs my way and I already get those easily - just like her.

The only thing I can do is take a coughing pill, to make me stop having these fits, but I don't want to take medication my whole life.

Plus, my Doctor won't help me. At all. Because that fucker thinks I'm a pill-popper.

Who wants a woman who has to wear fucking Silhouettes?
>depends underwear/diapers

I fucking hate myself, and there's nothing I can do about it...
>as far as I know

>>18161496
>Black Sun

>>18161769
Yea
>schwarze sonne

>>18161769
>>18161771
>Sonnenrad

>>18161784
The Black Sun was designed by the Nazis. It may have been inspired by traditional sunwheel depictions, but its origins wholly lie with LARPing germans. If you wear that thing you just prove you either have no idea about the context, have a skewed romanticised perception of national socialist Germany or that you subscribe to the national socialist ideas.

Faggot.

>>18161805
okay (((bro))) whatever you say... I see is a bindrune made up of sowilo symbols

>>18161608
Curious as to what sort of people you met at the group.

I want to sudoku, but like, vaguely, softly. In a dissociative kind of way. Jump out of the boat and into nothingness, sort of desire.

In addition, I'm not communicating properly through my posts anymore. It's weird.

>>18161938
Clusterfuck. You're a circus.

>>18162008
What?

>>18162017
You're a bit scatterbrained, friend.

So for two years now, I've been dating my old high school boyfriend. Everything is fine between us on the surface but deep down, I've been having a tough time keeping this whole thing between us going. And it's not because I don't love him or care for him, I do. It's the fact that we live two hours away from each other.

We do visit each other but it's only once a month (maybe twice if we're lucky) and it's because of our distance and because of our jobs (especially on my side because I just started a new job as a pharmacist). Moving in with each other is out of the question because of my new job and even if I move closer to him, no place will hire me if I don't get at least 6 month experience in this new field. Not only that, I'm taking care of my handicap mom on the side so I can't really leave where I am.

And he can't move closer to me because the city I live in is way smaller compared to the city he lives in and if he were to move closer to me or in my town, he won't find work in the field that he's in. A part of me wants to be hopeful because we've made it this far but I don't know how long this can go on. Our relationship is mostly through text messages and every now and then speaking over the phone(depending on our work hours of that day). I feel all I can do is just go along with the ride and try not to get too attached in case this all crashes.

i hope you fucking die. Don't ever come here

>>18162394
(major projection time)
what exactly are you referring to? I was looking at an apartment across the street from the place you used to live. It happened accidently. You don't own me and you don't own the world, bitch. You need to just get over it.

>>18161318
BEST PIC EVER

>>18161302
>>18161297
Ghosting is antisocial behavior and is on the autistic spectrum as well. This shit has got to stop. Millennials are eating each other alive with this bullshit.

>>18161264
TRUTH

>>18162425
>>18162394
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Have you ever felt bubbles in your stomach and think to yourself, "well maybe I have to fart" and you strain but you can't fart then you pee and your stream decides to be almighty and righteous like the gods so you're pushing out piss at 90 mph and you fart?

Asking for a friend