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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

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Thread replies: 342
Thread images: 24

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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>What do girls/guys think about <an insecurity including, but not limited to: looks, physical traits, personality traits, virginity or otherwise lack of dating experience>
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.

>Brandon, fart guy, platonic cuddling guy
Fuck off
>>
Girlfriend won't tell me that I'm unattractive, what do?
>>
>>18155177
Hit the gym. Make yourself attractive, she will respond. Also keeping up with your hygiene helps. Shower in the morning and at night.
>>
>>18155182
Shower twice a day? Holy fuck.

That aside, the issue is more that I can't get her to admit that it's an issue.

I know that I'm unattractive, I just kind of wish she was able to tell me that instead of me finding out that she went and fucked off with some guy some day, you know?
>>
how do i get latinas all over my dick?
>>
>>18155190
I understand where you're coming from. Maybe she wants you to make the choice for yourself first. Women don't enjoy being the bad guy. If anything she'll cover it up until her masks slips and she confesses she has been with someone else. These are the cards you were dealt, it's up to you to want to make the necessary changes for your relationship if you want to keep her..and if not, at least you're a few steps ahead for the next girl.
>>
>>18155197
You could try dating sites or getting the fuck off 4chins and actually talking to one. Try tinder.
>>
>>18155197
Sponsor their citizenship?
>>
How do I talk with random QT's I don't have anything in common with and get there phone numbers?

Like a QT I see walking that has is going the same way as me or reading a book in the library.
>>
>>18155246
You don't. You stay in your comfort zone and die alone.
>>
>>18155246
You don't, leave them alone.
>>
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>>18155249
>>18155250
Top Kek. Have you tried anything like this before?
>>
>>18155259
>2017
>trying to get a QT
>not dying alone and depressed

newfags btfo
>>
>>18155261
>implying with all these implications.

Geez, you really showed me up huh.

All I'm saying is that

A. Nothing really matter. So I feel dying as a depressed fuck is quite a waste.

B. >currentyear.jpg
Humanity has literally for thousands of years done some amazing things because someone tried something crazy that was assured would never work and it did. While I'm aware of the chances are low it is possible to win against the house.

Besides if I lose you would be right and you can dance your little dance.

Although it'll be a hollow victory because you can't feel anything. (Don't worry the irony that I'm implying something isn't lost on me)

C. Besides anon there are ways that you could tip things in your favor and the work that you put in to tip things in your favor and the things you would get out of it would be so much better than a QT.

TL:DR You could be right and You could be wrong; but I feel it's worth the risk.
>>
>>18155275
>2017
>asking for relationship advice on 4chan
>>
>>18155277
>2017
>Doing anything on 4chan
>Doing anything on the internet ever.
>Not realizing that the Internet and technology is just a way to distract you from what really matters.
ISHYGDDT
>>
I can't seem to get girls and I don't know why. Although, I am not a virgin.

I'm good at making friends. I've made them at work, on public transport, in bars, in queues etc. Like last year I was queueing up at a hot dog stand and started talking to some cute Danish girl; we ended up going out for drinks and seeing some live bands. I'm the kind of guy that can befriend bartenders and get discounted drinks in just one night.

People think I'm kind, intelligent, cultured and witty. People think I'm absolutely hilarious; so many people consider me to be one of the funniest people they've ever met. I've even heard complete strangers laughing at my jokes.

In almost all of the friend groups I'm in, I've been told I'm a vital part and it wouldn't be the same without me. I'm the "glue that holds people together" apparently.


But I still can't get girls.
>>
>>18155303
>funny
>social
>intelligent
>witty
Aaaand... What do you look like?
>>
>>18155307
I'm not sure how to describe myself physically. I've got short hair and a beard. I'm a little chubby but it's not too noticeable; people have never considered me to be "fat".

I don't think I'm "hot" but apparently I'm not ugly either. Just average I guess. Some people (no, not my relatives) have even said I'm quite handsome/good-looking when I put the effort in but I don't see it.
>>
>>18155319
You probably dont want to post photo, so could maybe show someone that looks a bit like you so we can give our honest opinions? Im sure there's someone to compare to.
>>
>>18155326
Well I don't take many photos of myself but do you want a drunken selfie I took a few months ago? It was at like 2am though so I'm not looking my best.

I think I'm ugly but apparently that's just me having shit confidence.
>>
>>18155329
Yea any photo is welcome, because my imagination fails me at your description.
>>
Girls:
Is it true that some girls talk to a guy to get another guy's attention.

I keep seeing it online, just curious if its true.
>>
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>>18155330
Okay but be nice. I look like absolute shit here. Also my beard is pretty weak in this photo but that's because I had shaved it off not long before.

I'm 23 by the way. I should probably take photos when I'm sobre instead but I don't.
>>
>>18155336
You look very nice to me, but I realized that maybe youre just not flirty at all? You say youre talkative and you might be nice to hang around with, but is there any spark between you and the girls you talk to? Maybe theyre just too comfortable with a talkative guy and dont know how to flirt, if youre not doing it? Since talkative people dominate the flow of a social situation.
>>
>>18155336
1. don't make excuses for your appearance; be confident
2. smile

you look good mang, no homo
I don't think your looks are the problem
how many women have you asked out?
>>
>>18155345
You're right, perhaps I am just not flirty. I suppose I don't really know how.

I do tend to dominate social situations, although I know it's not all about me. I'll try to get everyone involved while still being understanding e.g. not putting too much pressure on shy people.

I suppose I can be flirty at times but it always just feels like luck and not because of any knowledge and skill. I once went out on a first date and got her really in the mood and I lifted her dress up and there was a wet patch on her underwear. We fucked.

But yeah, that just felt like good luck.
>>
>>18155361
Dominating the flow of the situation, like what kind of conversation it will be. Will it be sexual or not. Most people go with the flow, if they're ok with it, but don't determine it. Maybe you should try online dating, because then the stage is already set for flirting and you could at least get experience, if not get a girl. After that go to your irl women to test your skill.
>>
>>18155365
I've tried online dating but I'm shit at it. Honestly I think I'm much cooler irl than online
>>
>>18155366
Try to be flirty with random women, anyone you happen to be dealing with. Maybe even that can get you a girl. Girls like when a guy is being flirty with them, even if they are taken. It's just harmless fun for them. Just look at them in a certain "sly" way and smile and try to make sexual tension. You may just find the right way for you to do that. It needs practice in the real situations.
>>
>>18155371
But then what do I say to them? Is this one of those things where I just need to "be confident and go with the flow"? Because I imagine that if they came over to me, I'd probably just feel really awkward.

Is it best to do this when out with friends? I've seen guys at clubs that are drunk and on their own, obviously just trying to find a girl. I think they seem creepy and desperate but maybe that's a normal thing to do?
>>
>>18155345
>>18155361

how2beflirty?
>>
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>>18155169
>qt girl im sorta infatuated with
>we've talked a few times, I've seen her look at me a lot
>add her on Facebook and she accepts

What do now? I really want to talk to her on there but idk how to, i only know how to talk to girls im not interested in and my mind is blank when it comes to her
>>
>girl plays afronigger (shaman) drums
Is this a red flag?
>>
>>18155334
Some girls, yea. All girls, no.

Some girls just want attention of any and every guy she can get it from.
>>
>>18155336
I can tell you're chubby just by the angle if the photo. No disrespect. You are very average and plain looking.
>>
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Guys.

Is it a dealbreaker if a girl has dated/fucked a black guy in the past?
>>
>>18155449
Yes.
>>
>>18155484
Why?
>>
>>18155485
Blacks are mostly low level thugs, and they have higher incidence of stds.
>>
>>18155486
STDs is pretty much irrelevant if she's tested (and they might even used condoms). As for blacks being "mostly low level thugs", men already are thugs compared to women. They vastly outnumber women in addiction, violence, and virtually any crime.
Yet I bet you don't associate personally with that at all because you are "your own person".

>>18155485
It's because they're racist. See above, they want to be judged on the merit of their own behavior yet they don't extend that respect to other people. Don't let it get to you, there will always be people who will be turned off or disinterested in you because of various reasons. The less energy you lose over that the better. Cater to the people who appreciate you instead.
>>
So I keep trying to get with this girl but she always shuts me down. She keeps sayings "I'm a boy!"

I don't get it?
>>
Girls, kind of an odd question: Someone I know has a bald spot that's recently appeared. She says it was from straightening her hair, but I find it a little unbelievable that a straightener would do that. Is it possible? I'm a bit worried as she's known to deal with anxiety and maybe she was pulling her hair.
>>
>>18155544
Nah it's quite possible. Straighteners get very hot and you're supposed to put them on the roots of your hair and then work your way down. If she was in a hurry she burned her actual scalp instead of just touching the hair. But if this was recent you should probably be able to tell that it's a bit red etc.
>>
How can ugly person with a boring personality get a mate?
>>
>>18155550
Either have really low standards (aka be fine with dating another boring, ugly person) and very actively put yourself out there (try to build a connection with any coworker you could potentially date, stuff like that). Or by investing in themselves to better their own value and not remain someone who has little to offer, aka get less boring.
>>
>>18155336

You are very decent looking, get fit and you will be good looking man.

Looks are not the issue
>>
>>18155435
Hm, well I'm getting a new job and one of the perks is free use of a swimming pool and gym, so hopefully I'll be losing some weight soon.

>You are very average and plain looking.

But that's alright, isn't it? Most people are average, but surely my personality and such should put me above the average man?
>>
>>18155550
They don't.
>>
Bump >>18155430
>>
>>18155430
>girl plays afronigger (shaman) drums
>Is this a red flag?
A red flag for... what, exactly?
>>
>>18155609
>>18155430

Not for me, but if that is enough to scare you then i will have to say yes.
>>
I don't have any desire to lick pussy. I think it's kind of gross and I get off on the domination aspect of sex and it would just completely ruin that for me.

Is this a deal breaker? It's somehow managed not to come up yet but it seems like everything I see suggest all women enjoy getting their pussy licked and expect it from any guy they're with.
>>
>>18155609
You asking this is a red flag, are you retarded? Pettiest shit I ever heard and that's saying something.
>>
>>18155620
Well penis is good at impregnating woman, but at giving them many orgasms in short period of time? Not so much. So you can also try to improve your fingers job or go full capitalism route and get some vibrator or other toy.
>>
>>18155449
For some yeah others not. Most of it comes down from racism which stems from insecurity, and they justify it by providing some bullshit excuse like std or something else. Personally I would not care unless she was one of the white girls who screams on twitter how much she loves black guys, and that she is not attracted to white bois, yet somehow she has had a change of hear . If its just a girl who has date or had sex with with black men it should never be a problem.
>>
>>18155620
It would be for me. Sure some women will be grossed out by receiving oral, are too self-conscious or find the sensation too soft to enjoy. But overall, it makes you a less attractive (sex) partner. Just like a woman refusing to give blowjobs.
>>
>>18155449
Yes.
>>
Girls

So, I've never had a girlfriend by choice. I clearly have serious issues with intimacy. Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm getting old and never experienced love before. But at the same time, it's probably for the best that I haven't and I plan to keep pushing on alone.

This is ok right?
>>
>>18155579
Well shit
>>
>>18155612
>>18155615
>>18155622
maybe we don't know the full story? Like, perhaps she plays those drums during some shady rituals while some guy murders goats and little kittens, raping them first, to summon some bad, mean and taste-lacking gods?

>>18155430
absolute red flag, man
>>
>>18155671
Don't fall for the "there's something for everyone" bullshit, lots of people die virgins or alone.
>>
>>18155676
someone*
>>
>>18155674
>maybe we don't know the full story?
Because it makes a lot of sense to not include the real issue in your question.
>>
>>18155676

Not him, but I already accept I'll die alone. Lots of people tell me "ohh don't worry, you'll find a girl one day and get married. She's out there!! :) "

But in reality, I know that won't happen. Plus, I have intimacy issues which will prevent that from happening anyways
>>
>>18155430
I know what youre doing here, kiddo. You just wanted to say 'nigger'. Get out. Id hit your face right now desu
>>
How is the best way to greet girls on dating apps/websites?

Any advice?
>>
>>18155169
Why are you women applying a dating penalty to me for being Asian. My mom is white! Can't I just stand on my own merits, not my fucking ethnic background?
>>
>>18155693
You look feminine, sorry pal.
>>
>>18155693
>responding to the original post
>not reading the original post
maybe they don't date you, because you're stupid
>>
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>>18155685
You are cucking yourself. You deserve something much worse than dying a virgin. Tesla died a virgin. His contribution was much greater. You deserve something much much worse like a BBC in your ass for the rest of your life and you'll have to watch everyone you've ever cared about get blacked. And Im just kidding btw.
>>
>>18155700

Well, I did had sex one time when I was a teenager. So I'm not a "virgin". (Not that even matters anyways)

Yeah I probably am cucking myself. But there isn't anything else I can do. I don't know why you think I deserve a nigger dong in my butt?
>>
Girls,

since it's impossible most of the time to know the sex of the poster here (especially on the other boards), how do you imagine them?
Being a young male I mostly consider everyone to be my sex and age (unless I give ita second thought at least). So do you have a feeling that there is more girls than guys?
>>
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>>18155708
Im totally a girl and I always see everyone else here as guys.
>>
>>18155708
I sometimes can tell that someone is probably a woman by their writing style. Women write more elaborately and more politely (adding "I think", "to me") and sometimes they offer perspective that tells me they probably are not male because men typically don't think about those (feminine) things.

But my default is also assuming that someone is male, and I've no doubt taken many women for men. Likewise vice versa, girls have often responded to me as though I was a man.
>>
>>18155696
You've never seen me. By the end of the day, I have a five o'clock shadow. If I don't shave for a week, I have a beard.

>>18155697
I read the OP. There's nothing about my question in there.
>>
>>18155727
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
>Why do guys/girls do this?
>Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

here
>>
>>18155732
>I'm going to be a dick cause I can be anything I want on the internet
And out of all the possibilities, you choose a dick?
>>
>>18155738
>I'll generalise some shitty behaviour on the whole gender
>and bitch a bit about that gender being so shitty
I think that such behaviour deserves mean responses. It's not about being a dick, dicks do this for fun.
>>
>>18155685
Yep, heard this hundreds of times from women. They say shit like that cause, "they don't want to hurt your feelings." Fucking bullshit, they do it to protect themselves from feeling bad about making you feel bad, if you take it that way.
>>
>>18155727
>You've never seen me.
I saw you for what you are. A rookie, who doesn't know how to read the FAQ. Even if you looked 10/10, there's no hope for you.
>>
>>18155749
Pot, meet kettle.
>>
>>18155725
There are gender guessing softwares that follow a similar criteria.

This one says your informal post is female.
>LONDON
>>
>>18155757
woah, that's cool! can you link to the site?
>>
>>18155748

See, I get a lot of compliments from people. So I think people might actually think that. Because sometimes people invite me out to go meet girls and shit. But I don't go because there is no point. I know nothing will happen and it won't go anywhere.
>>
>>18155725
>>18155757
This is much more interesting, guys. More so than that anon who can't read faqs.

What if as a woman you met a guy who wrote in this "female way"? Like on Tinder or some shit. Would it be a turnoff for the ladies, because the dude "sounds" like a lady?
>>
>>18155449
No. But maybe it is because i live in a country where i have seen like 3 niggers total.

But why does it matter? You can always lie about it.
>>
>>18155765
>But I don't go because there is no point. I know nothing will happen and it won't go anywhere.
it's amusing to read people's stating their own problems so clearly, never realising those are in fact their only problems
>>
>>18155771
No. I am used to male gruffness and not looking for a guy to use smileys every other word, but generally I find women more eloquent and better able to express and show themselves verbally. That is highly attractive for a man to be able to do, as well. Authors aren't considered sexy for nothing (even compared to other professions that take creativity or cause fame).
>>
>>18155762
http://www.hackerfactor.com/GenderGuesser.php
here you go
>>
>>18155775

what do you mean
>>
Tfw will never get a gf
>>
>>18155765
My god, fuck me sideways. What a cuck...
>>
>>18155778
does it mean I should rephrase my messages until they begin to sound womanish in origin if they are crucial?

>>18155782
thank you based anon
>>
>>18155788

What
>>
>>18155785
It was obvious. if you didn't understood it, I can't help you anymore
>>
>>18155790
Pretending you are somebody else is a good recipe for relationship disaster in the long run. You are better way being honest or improving yourself so you can stop being so boring / shit person.
>>
>>18155778
>not looking for a guy to use smileys every other word
Shit, I notice myself use smileys way too much. Like you say, every other word. Well, not really. Every other message. I use them to signal my tone, I guess, but Im really self aware about how stupid it seems. I guess Ill just limit my smileys. Is there a smiley rehab? Im in.
>>
>>18155786
That's the face of 'Ive been a pajeet for way too long and Im gonna go full Gandhi any moment now'
>>
How can I actually meet an introverted girl who's as inexperienced as me? I'm good looking, in good shape, and studying in college. I don't care about sex, I'm starting to really feel a need for affection and want a similar girl to me. I don't want to argue the whole virgin thing either so don't be the guy who gets all pissy about it. I'm a virgin and want the same, simple as that.
>>
>>18155790
Depends on the context. If you want to impress her with your insight on something for example, then yes. For an everyday, practical message it doesn't particularly matter.

>>18155804
Haha, it's fine to use smileys to get your tone across. It can be really hard to flirt without using them as well, because so many flirty stuff can read weirdly aggressive or obsessive without making it obvious that it's tongue in cheek. But absolutely use them sparsely, it will also make it that much more effective when you do use one. Shows her that she got a reaction out of you, instead of giving the impression that you are just crying of laughter and dying of rage while telling her what you picked up from the store.
>>
>>18155801
yes, this goes without saying. But paying more attention to say something right doesn't feel like pretending to be somebody else to me

>>18155804
isn't 4chan the best rehab for it?
>>
>>18155811
For fucks sake, I'm not indian, everyone thinks I'm indian
>>
>>18155823
Sorry I realized you might not be after I wrote it. Iran?
>>
Uh, so I have to break-up with my like week old boyfriend that I really like because he doesn't give a shit about me except for sex. I'm like 70 percent sure he won't give a shit, but how do I do this simply and painlessly?
>>
>>18155834
Black (mostly) I'm part Scottish and Russian though
>>
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>>18155818
Yea I definitely need to decrease the emojis

>>18155821
Not the best rehab since I usually use a stupid meme pic to add to my post
>>
>>18155837
tell him you're on a period
>>
>>18155839
iktf. i'm half black and half middle eastern and everyone thinks i'm indian too.
>>
>>18155837
God women are so roundabout and lame, just say" I don't think you care about me, we should break this off" , don't text, use your voice
>>
>>18155839
Ive never seen a black guy speaking scottish. Im sure he exists... Right?
>>
Girls, would you be weirded out if your male fwb who you have a lot of sexual experience with asked to lick your ass?
>>
>>18155840
>Not the best rehab since I usually use a stupid meme pic to add to my post
I laughed hard.

But what comes to mind is you could go to some chatroulette and simply ask people to tell you once they feel there's too much of smileys in your responses. This way you can fine-tune, because you can care more for the opinions of people whose writing styles you like
>>
>>18155845
Go play tf2, also I can't speak Scottish, I'm good at German kinda
>>
>>18155853
Not at all, only lover I've had was crazy for doing this, feels great. Not just the outside either, he got all up in there.
>>
>>18155169
Question for the ladies,

I'm chatting to a girl on tinder and we are going to meet up in a few days. Now she's a normie and I am autistic. What is the proper way for me to greet her the first time seeing her in person? Should I shake her hand? Hug? Try to kiss her? Or just wave and say hi?

We chatted a lot and I asked her or out for a few drinks and she said yes and gave me her number but there's been no flirting or dirty talk.
>>
>>18155871
Chokehold, it shows dominance
>>
>>18155873
I will choke her with my dick
>>
>>18155871
I'd say, a bright smile and handshake for greeting them, then a hug bye if it's clear they don't want to kiss.
>>
>>18155765
Compliments are just words. Anyone can throw a dog a bone one in a while. Sorry, bad metaphor.

If I were you, I would call their bluff and go out. My problem is isolation. All I do is work all week and recover on the weekend. I have no time to be social…unless I'm going to run on 6 hours of sleep or less. Also I can't go anywhere that's noisy. This eliminates a lot of activities.
>>
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>>18155871
>>18155871
Tell her you come in peace and bring new memes to the plebkind.

Im sure you realize she's in it for free drink, but you might surprise her, if you know what she wants. She doesnt, that's for sure.
>>
>>18155817
You won't, that's why they're introverted. Are you still in school? That's your best bet. Otherwise, you'll have to frequent places that introverts do and wait for an opportunity to approach one.
>>
How do i start a conversation on Tinder? Is "hey how's it going" a no go ?
>>
>>18155876
I've always thought handshakes were a pure male thing though. I am able to handle during the meetup and what to do at the end, its the very first thing that I am super autistic about.

>>18155887
Eh I don't think she expects me to pay, most girls I've been with are insistent on paying for their own drinks.
>>
>>18155837
Just be forward and honest about your reasons and don't look back. Also, at least call the guy to do it. Text is cowardly.
>>
>>18155891
What's worked for me anon is just saying "Hi how's it going? I hope hope you've been having a nice day :)" spending time crafting an epic first message is a waste of time, save that for if they reply.
>>
>>18155887
How tiny is that woman?
>>
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>>18155891
>How do i start a conversation on Tinder? Is "hey how's it going" a no go ?
It lowers your points, but isn't absolutely worthless, if there is real interest and the girl can talk for herself.

I'm of the thinking that you want to be done with Tinder as soon as possible. You move on to meeting or having a number real soon. No bullshit. But each person is different. I once went to a date that worked really well. On another date with another girl my style of talking didn't work. Everyone's humor is so nuanced and there's a lot of dumb bitches. I want a fucking funny, intelligent, a bit crazy, woman. Not stacy. Fuck stacy. She can go start a single mom family with chad!!!
>>
>>18155612
Dating.

>>18155615
>>18155622
She is white, why would she play that?

>>18155674
I like you.

>>18155687
lol
>>
>>18155892
Handshakes are for gentlemanly pursuits and business. Just wave hi.

I'm a guy though, ymmv.
>>
>>18155900
Too tiny to be a model, so she became a con slut. What an inspiring story. Id pay to see that guy fuck the shit out of her and pull that stupid green hair while 10 white knights get ready to charge.
>>
>>18155921
Hmmm that's what I thought anon, only time I've ever shook a women's hand is at work/formal events
>>
>>18155920
>She is white, why would she play that?
Do you not like any kind of "black" music?
>>
How do you handle a friend that wants to talk about a messy breakup when you think both parties have handled it pretty shitty? I think her ex has fucked up quite a bit more than her but I was also dumbfounded by some of her reactions at the same time.
>>
>>18155938
I would argue that there's a big difference between enjoying say, Jazz, and doing some weird tribal african shit. It would definitely be a red flag for me anyways, but pagan bullshit is a red flag for me in general which is what it sounds like to me at a glance.
>>
>>18155927
You don't even have to wave, just say hi. Depending on the flow, waving could come off awkward.
>>
>>18156070
if it's a good friend I'd be brutally honest. It's a friend's job to help people improve and there's no way around it but to point their flaws/misdoings to them directly
>>
>>18156070
Agree that they didnt match with their tempers. She must get tired of talking about it soon enough though.
>>
>>18156079
Alright just say hi and go with the flow. I hope her pics dont lie. Will be awkward as fuck if she is a landwhale or something. I'm actually terrified of meeting someone off tinder who I've never seen in real life before.
>>
>>18156070
Now that she's vulnerable you go in for the kill
>>
>>18156077
then fucking don't date her, what's your problem? The general public doesn't consider it strange, you do. You won't agree with us anyway, what's the point in asking?
>>
>>18156097
Nah. She's cute but I don't do short term stuff and we're diametrically opposed for the long term.
>>
>>18156101
>The general public doesn't consider it strange, you do.
I'm just an outsider looking in.

Banging the drums to summon your ancestors is not something I would just describe as "black music". If this is actually related to shamanistic crap like he said, that in and of itself makes it fundamentally different than just an odd taste in music.
>>
>>18156114
he said nothing about any rituals. He just mentioned that this type of drum is used by shamans as well. You are assuming much here
>>
>>18156126
>He just mentioned that this type of drum is used by shamans as well.
I find it hard to believe that he'd include that detail if it actually had nothing to do with shamanism. Otherwise they'd just be drums.
>>
>>18155837
Fuck him, don't let him cum and then walking of his life forever
>>
>>18156134
but from the rest of his posts it seems clear he's paranoid about blacks. I bet that it's this paranoia that makes him mention it. But I can see your point, we can't judge properly from the little information posted so far
>>
Question for grills. How is the proper way to introduce yourself to a female if you are strangers asides from seeing each other enough to be vaguely familiar. Though you have never interacted?
>>
>>18156159

Like you'd introduce yourself to anyone you keep seeing, but don't know the name of. No need to make it a big deal, just because it's a girl.

>"Hey, I keep seeing you around, but we've never been introduced. I'm Anon."
>>
>>18156168
I've never done that to a dude before, only ever in groups of friends merging. Also would that work after months?
>>
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>>18155382
Bump for question pls
>>
>>18156186
Just say fucking hello, I was the same as you anon. Friends with grill I liked and didn't message her for months after adding her on facebook. Just say hi and ask to meet up for a few drinks.
>>
>>18155382
I'd suggest talking in person or voice chat. Will force conversation to happen without over thinking every statement. I get the same shit tho too nervous to talk to anyone I think might be interesting male or female.
>>
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Girls

Are these too big? I'm cursed with a small face and have hell trying to find fitting sunglasses...
>>
>>18156159
Only thing you need to do is make sure you are casual about it and not being pushy about talking if she's not in the mood. Other than that you can make a joke, say hello, compliment her, ask a question, whatever the fuck you want.

The "proper" way is just recognizing that you are seeing whether she wants to talk. Not doing the sunk cost fallacy where even if she's clearly not interested, you feel that once you passed the hurdle of talking to her you have to continue.
>>
>>18156208
They look intentionally big to me, like ironic hipsterglasses big. If that's the aesthetic you're going for, it's fine. They would not stand out to me as odd, if that's your underlying question.
>>
Guys or girls:
Is it weird to add girls on facebook out of the blue as a way to start talking w/ them?

I want to talk to a girl from my class more but I don't really want to ask her out during school.
My friend told me that I should add her and facebook and it won't be that weird since we've had some interaction.

Is this a normal thing to do or should I just approach her someday after class?
>>
>>18156212

I'm not a hipster.

I don't know shit about sunglasses
>>
>>18156228
>>18156208

ask /fa/
>>
>>18156228
To be honest I'm not an expert either, I never wear them, they make me look like a vampire (and not in the cool modern way, in the vintage Dracula bad make up way).

It doesn't look bad to me, if that's anything to go by.
>>
>>18156240
Not /fa/, they're a bunch of negative cunts who try to fit the same Asian streetboy aesthetic on everyone. Cattiest and most narrow minded board there is. He's better off just asking friends, then.
>>
Girls

Is their any tell tale sign that a girl may have interest in you, but is not ready to proceed, so they just are buying time?
>>
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>>18156240

I've asked FA but they are all hipsters..


>>18156243

I just have a weird sized face so glasses look like shit on me.

Pic related is what I have now. But I feel embarsssed because I think they look huge on me
>>
>>18156256
Could it be that it's just out of your comfort zone to wear them to begin with? These look better to me than the former pair (or well, more "on the safe side").
Yeah once you say that they look big on you I can see what you mean but it would never spontaneously occur to me. Besides if everything else fits it's supposed to look like this, right? It looks more intentionally slightly oversized to me (the model of the glasses) than that you should get a smaller pair.

Have you worn them outside a lot? Sometimes it can help to wear the thing you are self-conscious about around people a lot to grow used to it and your new look.
>>
Girls, are you aware that you create supervillains?
>>
Help me out with a profile for OkCupid

Is this one too cheesy/poor?

>You know that guy who makes all those funny memes you read online? I am that guy.

Jokes aside, i am a decent guy with a good sense of humor. I pay my rent, have a good job and more importantly, i wear matching socks.
>>
>>18156272
Yeah, it's a bit too contrived for me. But to put things into perspective, I never did any kind of online dating and cringe really badly imagining myself writing a profile so I think I'm also just hypersensitive to that kind of forced spontaneity etc.
>>
Is your worth as a person and as a man measured by which and how many women are willing to have sex with you?
>>
>>18156279
No.
>>
>>18156263

>Could it be that it's just out of your comfort zone to wear them to begin with?

Yes, but I hate being blinded.

>you should get a smaller pair.

I don't think that even exists. These were the smallest I could find.

>Have you worn them outside a lot?

Only when I'm driving, but I take them off if I go through a Drive-thru or something
>>
>>18156279

Unfortunately yes.

I have to lie to people about my history. Because if people knew I'm a 28 /fit/ decent looking guy who's never had a girlfriend and only had sex 1 time, I'd get judged and called a homosex.
>>
>>18155182
>>18155190
don't shower 2x a day it'll nuke your skin
wtf
>>
>>18155449
No. But if I was truly in love with her, I would definitely prefer she keep her sexual history to herself. Like, we talk about it once, get it all out in the open, every partner, every race, everything, then just stfu about it and go on with our relationship.

Hell, some people prefer you never talk about it, not only black guys though, just anybody. They don't wanna soil the good image they have of you with your memories.

If I was in love with her though, it shouldn't bother me, and I should be able to look beyond her past, to appreciate her in the future.
>>
>>18155169
Is this an automated post?
>>
>>18156272
I wouldn't even bother with okc desu. Try meeting people irl.
>>
>>18156287
31 and only had sex once too. long distance relationship with a girl I fell crazy in love with.

Got head from two other girls years apart, one a gf. one a friend.

not much has gone in my life but shit jobs, depression, masturbation and only child solitude.

If a woman doesn't accept me as I am, and wants also for guys not to judge her for her past, she will either meet me halfway and not judge me. or she will miss out on a great opportunity. sometimes it's better to be alone than in bad company.
>>
To both sexes. I love the idea of dancing (when going out), but am very inexperienced. I can basically only move to music based on how I feel the vibe, kind of mirror it with my body movements by intuition, but I'm really afraid it looks incredibly bad. This makes it very hard to do with other people around and I've only done it once, while moving around a lot because I did feel like people were laughing at me.

Should I record myself and go all out while tipsy and later watch it in a sober state of mind and judge whether I make an ass out of myself? Or would that only make everything worse? Would you do this in my position?
>>
How normal it is to be a virgin in man's 20's?
>>
>>18156331
Go take some dancing classes.
>>
>>18156323

>If a woman doesn't accept me as I am, and wants also for guys not to judge her for her past, she will either meet me halfway and not judge me. or she will miss out on a great opportunity. sometimes it's better to be alone than in bad company

Hmm you bring up an interesting point. I've been avoiding getting a girlfriend because I don't want to be judged for having 0 experience (never had a gf before), so I'm not going to know anything.

If a girl starts drilling me with questions about why I haven't had a girlfriend, it would be fair if I ask her questions about how many guys she's been with right?
>>
>>18156332
It's fairly normal: https://www.thestar.com/life/2017/02/14/study-shows-millennials-are-having-less-sex.html

I turn twenty four in April and am also still a virgin, unless you count oral sex (one partner). Sure most of my friends are more experienced, but one of my friends (exact same age) is a virgin as well, handholdless and everything. So yeah. It's just how life works out I guess.
>>
>>18156337
I might, I've wanted to for a long time but am honestly very busy (trying to finish my bachelor's this year - looking tentatively okay so far, I'm having my last week next week because I'm starting my bachelor thesis but I used to work 24hrs, and other shit in terms of project), but yeah I guess it's to be expected that I don't feel great about starting from scratch with others around either but well. Here's to hoping other extreme amateurs show up.
>>
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>>18156322

I am new in town so i dont know anyone... how do i meet people? I mean, going out alone feels iffy and i am not exactly the most extroverted person.

Its not that i am too much of a sperg but i feel autistic when in uncomfortable situations. Its just hard for me mang... perhaps i do have autism?

Any tips to meet people while alone? Without looking weird.

>>18156277

Agreed... its hard to find a good balance between witty, serious and cheesy... Everything i type goes to an extreme
>>
>>18156342

Honestly, I think it just means the internet hs created more betas in the world (myself included). Which those betas are having less sex. Although Alphas and Chad are having even more sex because of more horny women.

My 3 closest friends are Chads. All 3 are 25 years old. 1 has been with 25+ girls and the other 2 have been with 15+ girls. ALL the girls were total hotties.
>>
>>18156338
Dude you can ask her but she will probably give you an answer you don't like. Even if it's three guys, that's a lot more than you can account for and you will probably start wondering how you "measure up" compared to them and all.

And I agree with the other anon. I am not experienced at all myself and would happily date another very inexperienced partner. Experienced is fine as well, but I'd much rather have a virgin than a guy who used to pump and dump girls (especially if he then trash talks them for giving him the time of day). It actually seems really hot to me to personally ensure that a man's first experience with sex is mind blowing.

Yeah sure women sometimes make fun of virgins but it's more the whole stereotype of a virgin guy who expects all women to look perfect and doesn't know how to do his own laundry, rageposting online all day, than the reality of being a complex human being who happened to not have been in this particular situation yet. Some women might find it a turn off because they get off on the idea of having a smooth man who knows just what to do, but you're always going to have some people be like that about all kinds of things. You can make an educated guess if you know them well otherwise.
>>
>>18156351
>I am new in town so i dont know anyone... how do i meet people?
I wish I knew. I've moved countries 9 years ago and still don't have any friends.
>>
>>18156352
Not sure if this was the vibe you got from my reply but I'm a woman myself. I have known plenty of women who lost their virginity in their early twenties. Sure plenty of women might go see what those one night stands are all about, but not many seek it out hardcore in their life. Most women want relationships. Those one night things are typically quite underwhelming for the woman (lack of foreplay, oral for him but not for her, him having an orgasm then falling asleep) even apart from potential crudeness from the guy towards her.
>>
>>18155891
I don't know how tinder is but for Okcupid I messaged this girl who I thought would not respond especially because I was out of her age range. Just asked her why she loved X so much and that she must be a nut for it. She responded and we went on a date a few days later and have a second one planned for tomorrow.

Saying "hey how is it going?" or "hey whats up" is bad. Try to look at their pictures and ask about where or what is going on in their pictures.
>>
>>18156355

More or less that's the reason I've been continuing to avoid girls. I have my life together. But I don't know shit about girls. I don't want to be judged because I've only seen a pussy once before and I had a bad time.

I especially feel disgruntled because I've told people about this in the past and I've gotten shocked reactions which just made me feel worse about myself
>>
>>18156254
Ideas?

Just curious as I suspect that girl im interested in might be doing that
>>
>>18156366
You don't have to know shit about "girls". You're a human being, she as well, her personal characteristics and background are going to weigh in much more than the bare fact that she's female. What most guys refer to when they talk about learning how to talk to/deal with girls in relationships, they mean how to meet someone's emotional needs, which wouldn't be different if they were dating a guy.

That's a shame (bad time). But it's really not as big a deal as you're making it out to be, you read the article right? It's really not that uncommon whatsoever. The fact that other people might not always realize this and act shocked doesn't change that.
>>
>>18156359

That's just hard for me to believe..

Just between my 3 friends, rounding it off at 25, 15, and 15. The 3 of my friends combined have been with 55 girls.

55 girls between 3 dudes. And that's just them! so now I imagine hundreds of other dudes having similar experiences. Girls are obviously putting out..
>>
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>>18156358

I moved three years ago and all my ''friends'' are either on their 40s or have very different personalities than me and none will go out with me to a bar or something because none is that close.

It sucks
>>
>>18156369
Not sure what you mean with buying time. In terms of signs of interest;

>smiling a lot
>asking for your opinion on female clothing/her clothing or hair (bonus points if she adjusts accordingly), asking what your type is
>referring to your "girlfriend" while you never mentioned dating anyone ("I'm sure your girlfriend would-")
>complimenting you
>making a point out of bringing up that she remembers stuff (you told her earlier) if you tell her something, or that you have things in common; showing a startlingly keen memory for trivial shit you told her
>you "just happen to" bump into her a lot
>her friends act giddy when you're around, but she tries to keep it cool
>she blushes, makes a lot of eye contact, fidgets, sits so close that your legs touch, brushes your hand or your clothing, finds excuses to lightly touch you
>she acts nurturing, asks if you're hot/cold, shares food with you (homemade goods = golden star), fusses over you when you're unwell
>she teases you/gives playful jabs, gives you nicknames, lightly insults you
>she asks if you want kids (bonus point if she asks what you'd name them/whether you'd want boys or girls)
>when you're in a group and something funny/weird happens, she instantly scans your reaction
>she mentions/jokes about sex a lot
>she is quick to defend you
>>
>>18156371

>What most guys refer to when they talk about learning how to talk to/deal with girls in relationships, they mean how to meet someone's emotional needs

I have no idea how to do that. Plus, if I have difficulties being intimate, physical, and emotional. No girl will put up with that. I think just cuddling with a girl would be difficult for me. Don't even expect me to kiss in public or hold hands. I can't do that shit. I don't even like when girls compliment me.

>you read the article right?

Which?
>>
>>18156374
It's very well possible that they are skewing their numbers a bit. Also, context matters. Are these frat guys going to parties with girls of sororities with a heavy pressure to fuck around, for example?
>>
>>18156388
Are you sure you even want to be in a relationship, then?

This >>18156342
>>
>>18156387
I mean, kind of keeping me around until she's ready for a relationship.

The girl I'm referring to actually does like 6 or so of the things you mean
>>
>>18156392

None of them are in frats. One guy has with mostly co-workers. The other 2 are in Uni and get girls at uni, but they are not in frats
>>
>>18156397

>Are you sure you even want to be in a relationship, then?

no, I don't really want to. Just, I wish I had a QT female friend who'd spend time with me and smile at me. I feel lonely. I feel guilty because I'm 28 and never experience anything before yet all of my peers have. I hear the whole "I'm glad I lived my life when I was younger because it's getting too late for it now" all the fucking time. One of my friends just said that the other day because he is soon to be getting married. I never "lived" my life whatever that even means.
>>
A girl I'm trying to date is giving me mixed signals. She's always willing to meet up, even when I explicitly told her it was a date. Yet nothing date-like happens. She talks endlessly, but never leaves herself open for actually making a move. We'd spend hours talking on the phone, she'd hit me up over text all the time, but nothing ever happens.

Yesterday I tried to take a sweet photo of us together, but she turned red completely and her rambling went into overdrive with one new topic every 10 seconds.

Kind of figuring/hoping she's extremely insecure rather than uninterested, as she often mentions how awkward and uncute she is as well.
How can I break through this shell? Help her see that she's closer to "a beautiful girl I fell for" than "awkward creep nobody likes"?

Also, teasing a girl for burning up like that. Flirty or mean? Not going too far, but a touchy subject perhaps?
>>
>>18156398
>>18156387

The things's she does from what you listed


>smiling a lot
>making a point out of bringing up that she remembers stuff (you told her earlier) if you tell her something, or that you have things in common; showing a startlingly keen memory for trivial shit you told her
>you "just happen to" bump into her a lot
>her friends act giddy when you're around, but she tries to keep it cool (Possibly)
>she blushes, makes a lot of eye contact, fidgets, sits so close that your legs touch, brushes your hand or your clothing, finds excuses to lightly touch you
>she acts nurturing, asks if you're hot/cold, shares food with you (homemade goods = golden star), fusses over you when you're unwell
>she teases you/gives playful jabs, gives you nicknames, lightly insults you
>>
>>18156428
Good, very good. Ask her out. Ask her to go to a movie with you and go to an arthouse place where you can sit nicely and have a drink afterwards.
>>
I cant approach women for the fear of getting a extreme reaction like fuck off by just saying hi, is there any way i can make myself be indifferent to the outcome?
>>
kiss her
>>
>>18156441
Part if why I was asking about her buying time is because when I made it clear that I'm interested she said she's not looking for anything with anybody right now. Though I already knew that she was ridiculously busy, and really had no free time anyway.
>>
>>18156426
I wouldn't tease her with blushing, at most tell her it looks good on her a little later.

I would just be upfront with her, tell her you're having a hard time telling whether she's interested. Not really much else you can do at this point.
>>
>>18156448
Ask yourself this: what looks worse - you reaching out and trying to see if another person is up for talking, or her being an absolute raging cunt just because someone said hi? That would be absolutely ridiculous, positively embarrassing, being an adult who throws a mini-tantrum over being acknowledged.
>>
>>18156452
Offer it anyway. She has a mouth. Unless her saying this was very recent.
>>
>>18156460
Two weeks ago she said that. So....

Also, She always seemed like she wanted to get together but got cold feet before setting something up.
>>
>>18156458
You are right, thanks for the help.
>>
To girls: How long does it take you to get over an ex? It's almost been a year now and being with other people doesn't make me miss them any less. In fact I miss them MORE now because I've probably developed some sort of rose tinted view of how things were. To top it all off, I dumped her to begin with.
>>
>>18156481
My exes hurt me so, not long. I had done most of my grieving before we even broke up.
>>
>>18156481
>I dumped her
Ouch, that sucks man.

Hm, with my ex I think it was mostly one year of real strong grief, where part of you still can't believe it's really over. And it took me two years to not kind of feel like I was fucking off in the margin, to sort of place him on the background of my mind. Now after three years I'm finally potentially ready for intimacy/dating with another person I guess. I have during these years said yes to guys asking me out just in the hopes that it would accelerate the process of forgetting it, but it never really worked out, I was too closed off emotionally.

This was a person I had known/been very close with for years before dating though.
>>
>>18156463
>>18156460

Maybe, it's possible that as my friends girl said, She doesn't want to be tempted?

Again, it makes sense given the situation
>>
Ok ladies this is going to sound like a bit of a noob question.

But I have been with my girlfriend for a few years and the sex is great.

Whenever I'm having sex with her and she seems to be really enjoying it, she always gets to a point where she pushes me off or forces me out of her vagina.

She always says it's because she gets the feeling she needs to pee and that she's afraid she'll pee all over me.

A couple of times I went on when I was fingering her I continued by kind of pinning her down and she actualy squirted a bit.

Now I'm not sure if her having the feeling she needs to pee is a good, thing, it always seems like she's really enjoying it, judging by her face/moans expression etc but then she ends up pushing me away in the end.

Is her feeling like she's about to pee her reaching an orgasm or something else?
>>
>>18156387
had that
asked out
rejected

No way to tell defintely until you ask her out.
>>
>>18156509
It's her about to squirt. Just because she squirts doesn't necessarily mean she's having an orgasm at the same time, but it is possible.
>>
Do girls want guys to show sexual attraction right off the back? Because I am having a hard time with constantly going in the friend zone or having girls approach me where I have zero sexual attraction too.
>>
>>18155336
Get fit and you will have them all over your cock
>>
>>18155449
Yes
>>18155485
Because I don't want to date a girl who is okay with having sex with black people
>>18155495
Yes it's because we're racist and for good reason
>>
>>18155449
Absolutely
>>
>>18156517
>Do girls want guys to show sexual attraction right off the back?
It's a matter of balance. Don't act like a thirsty faggot who would fuck anything warm, but be a bit flirty, compliment me, seduce me.
If you treat me like you'd treat a male friend, I will assume you're trying to become my friend.
>>
>>18156517
No, it's pretty much a turnoff if you start flirting with me right off the bat.
>>
>>18155693
People are allowed to have their own sexual preferences

>>18155708
Depends on how they talk, I imagine you to be a bit faggy sounding and young (like you say)
>>
>>18156542
up yours
>>
Guys,

How do you feel about cold approaches? If a girl you're not friends with or don't really know approaches you and asks you out on a date how would you react? What influences your decision to say yes or no?
>>
>>18156665

I'd probably feel awkward, make up an excuse and walk away.

Then again, it depends what you mean on "cold approach". What setting and context? On a uni campus or something?

I never see girls since I'm not in uni. Literally the only place I see women during a typical week is at the grocery store.. and those women are married. So if a girl my age randomly approached me out of the blue next time I go get groceries. I'd feel extremely uncomfortable
>>
>>18156665

>How do you feel about cold approaches?

Be it guy or girl, I think you shouldn't just approach people out of the blue. It's more often than not awkward, and might get someone in trouble with their partner.

If it happened to me, I'd probably feel weird. I'm not a master of social interaction, but being blunt like that usually means there's a deeper problem going on.
>>
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>>18156665
It depends on the girl.

And going out doesn't mean "take me some place and fuck me rn", so I guess I'd think it's cute, especially if she was pouring out spaghetti.. probably hug her even.

But there is someone I have in mind currently, so, if a girl did approach me for a date in my mental state (wishing that girl was mine), I'd only halfheartedly agree..cheerfully, but..truthfully, in a sort of disappointed with my life kinda way.
>>
>>18156706

>probably hug her even.

You'd hug some random girl that you've never seen before, that literally just said 1 short sentence to you?
>>
>>18156710
If she was shy and afraid to ask me, sure, a hug is very reassuring and makes people feel comfy.
>>
>>18155246
Honestly odds are you're probably going to annoy them. However you never know, you might get lucky.

I say if you really want to approach a cute girl the first thing is to be confident. If you walk up to her with tears in your eyes and a quiver in your voice it'll be a major turn off for her. Start by striking up a normal conversation. Smile, introduce yourself, ask her about what she's reading, how her day is going etc. You need to read her body language. If she clearly looks like she doesn't want to be talking to you take the hint and back off. If she smiles back, is attentive to you, isn't looking for an exit or trying to get away from you. THEN you go in for the kill. Tell you her you've enjoyed talking with her and would like to get coffee sometime. Or if during your conversation you've discovered a shared interest invite her to an event related to it. I personally think giving her your number instead of asking for hers is a good move. It puts the ball in her court so she doesn't feel pressured.


TL;DR
Girls will immediately be on guard or annoyed if a stranger approaches them. You will be at a disadvantage because of this. Be friendly, read the atmosphere, don't corner her and beg for her number. If the conversation is tense and she looks uncomfortable then back off and cut your losses.
>>
>>18156710
Or maybe I'd just hug her and say I'm not ready to date.
>>
>>18156710

To be fair, she asked him out first, but the situation is bonkers nontheless.
>>
>>18156665
I think it's nice.
>>
>>18156727
Ok
>>
>friend I have knows this girl as co-workers I've been out with on some dates.
>Make plans with said girl to go get drinks tonight at a local bar.
>My friend asks the girl what is she doing tonight
>She said she's getting some drinks with friends

Am I doomed? Both this girl and I know my friend has a long term GF so it wasn't a way to turn him down. Should I just ask if she is going to bring other people?
>>
Girls

Okay so I came here before talking about a girl I met at a show and didn't give her my number. I basically spilled spaghetti telling her how attractive I thought she was and she was flattered. I had to go though, and later realized how stupid my question/statement was.

Well. I finally found her music page online and wrote her an apology for the question, although I was sincere, it was awkward and I basically explained why it happened and what led to it. Even shot her my number.

She didn't write anything back.

So I was thinking, maybe she simply deleted it? Like junk mail.. maybe she read it and felt so repulsed that she just deleted it and tried to forget about it? Or maybe she has a bf and didn't appreciate the extra attention.

So I wrote again.. probably a big mistake. But I basically told her just that "hey if you're married or in a relationship, didn't mean to disrespect you." And basically said I'd see her next year, sent her some artwork to cheer her up in case I was right(?)

Point is, this girl seemed nicer in person than she does online. Just want opinions I guess.
>>
>>18156725

I still wouldn't hug someone I literally don't know.
>>
>>18156764

Maybe she just didn't feel like explaining it to your friend. Personally I don't mention dates or potential romantic interests to anyone until I know it's going somewhere. Some privacy is good to avoid awkwardness if it goes wrong.
>>
>>18156764
Does it matter? Just go and enjoy yourselves, if you don't get what you want out of it eventually, just leave?
>>
>>18156764
Does she know your friend knows you've been on dates? Were the dates actually dates?
>>
>>18156775

I wouldn't ask them out either. That's my point. He is being weird in a weird situation.
>>
>>18156776

Though, to add, this assumes she knows it's a date. Did you make it clear? If you've been friends for awhile, she might have just taken it to mean a group thing unless you explicitly implied it's a date.
>>
>>18156784
>hugging someone that likes you
>weird
>if there is mutual attraction

A girl hugged me after I congratulated her for a musical performance. She didn't even know how smitten I was with her.. I just kinda got real small and happy inside.. then I sat a bit away from her..

But you know what? To be perfectly honest.. I fell in love with her that night, and she didn't even know it.. how could she possibly feel the same? Yet it was natural for her to hug me.
>>
>>18156786
>>18156783
To be fair I didn't mention anything about it being a date with only us two when asking her out. But we have been on real dates before.
>>
What do you people think of this?
>>
>>18156801
if you want my opinion, you must tl'dr me on the arguments
>>
How often do girls need to change their tampons or pads a day?

As a guy that sits in a 3 hour no-break lecture, 3 hours is a long time to have something like that constantly warm and decomposing.
Thats gotta be some sort time limit?
>>
>>18156807
tl'dr is that modern cultural values, and contraceptives come into the way of our instinctual needs (reproduction, pair bonding and rearing of the child) and hamper them, thus leading to warped sexual behavior and psychological problems in later life, that manifest in different ways in the different genders, and are one of the reasons why modern relationships are quite dysfunctional.
>>
>>18156811
Depends on the day and how heavy the period is.
I can go 8 hours sometimes, sometimes I need to change it after 2.
You kinda feel it swelling, it's uncomfortable when it is too big.
>>
Would you ever have sex with a midget?
>>
>>18156830

no
>>
>>18156517
All girls are different from each other so yeah cant help there, the reason you get friendzoned is because you let yourself be put there, what you should be doing is be direct,light touches, flirting, teasing and some girls will maybe still say lets just be friends, tell them you are looking to date and not make friends because desu chances are they wont hang out with you anyways afterwards or will try to make you become an orbiter and time is the most precious thing you got so dont waste it.
>>
>>18156794

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why you don't hug strangers. They could be fucking bonkers.
>>
>>18156665
Being direct approached by a woman feels off for me personally since it's our role, try signing him you want him to approach you instead
>>
>>18156830

I think I would. I admit I'm more worried about the day to day interacting with a midget. I know I'd try to be nice and would come off as horribly patronizing. And I'm not much for one-night-stands, so I don't see myself having sex without some kind of relationship.
>>
>>18156813
well, stop using contraceptives and you fuck up all those relations a thousand times more I'd say. You'd either end up with insane amounts of children and start the greatest of all famines or with sexual tensions making everybody angry and/or wanting to die. Modern values - well that's a different story. I'm all for changing this and that but I don't feel this amazingly intelligent to even attempt choosing which ones to change in what ways. And anyway I'm pretty much an outsider anyway, so my opinions aren't popular.
I don't agree with the generalisation that modern relationships are all dysfunctional. I'd say it's a smaller proportion of them which is bad and that may as well be because people making them are just shitty/ stupid/ selfish/ whatever (keep in mind, half of the population has IQ lower than 100. and one sixth has it lower than 85 iirc). And I bet that higher rates of divorces were spoken about in the original text (they always are). This is actually something called serial monogamy and is a reproductory technique, we have it coded deep in our psychology - no changing this

So I disagree.
>>
>>18155449

I would just tell you, "I'll fuck you harder than a black dude". And do it. People never forget, they just prioritize. I'd make you prioritize my dick.
>>
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>>18156535
>If you treat me like you'd treat a male friend, I will assume you're trying to become my friend.
That's the hard part for me. I don't really know how to flirt effectively or how to escalate things properly, the last woman I was into straight up just grabbed my hands and put them on her tits when we were watching a movie.

Shits fucked
>>
>>18156856
>I'd make you prioritize my dick.
this is the most romantic thing I've read today, ty anon
>>
>>18156801
Inaccurate, largely simplifies the issue.

First, I detest the premise - there is not really a gender war. There is a war between idiots who believe that being a man or being a woman determines your worthiness as a human being, while a large part of the society doesn't exactly gives a shit and keeps living their life as nothing is happening.

Biparental parenthood isn't a thing in most animal species and wasn't a thing for humans till relatively recently. We don't have any biological drive towards it, it is a fairly new (and practical) convention but not something we're programmed towards. There are species that are programmed towards biparental parenthood (like some birds), we aren't.
Parenthood itself isn't the same for animals and humans, we create a personal, love bonds with our children that extends even when they aren't kids anymore while most animals don't.

Humans love sex because it is a decent way of bonding, and it makes both our genitals and our brain feel good. We evolved to make the sex thing enjoyable, it is clearly a benefit in evolutionary terms, and humans have been having sex without wanting to reproduce for more than 100 years.

While using contraception surely shifted things a little bit in terms of sexual behaviour, it is more the achievements of feminism and the deep changes in society that caused the "gender war".

A 5/10 post filled with big, scientific terms to sound more intelligent.
>>
>>18155449
It's an ego issue for us so it will depend from person to person, you should be honest about it and give a guy Hobson's choice.
>>
>>18156865
>>18156813
also, contraception methods are really old actually. The most primitive tribes use things (for example seaweed) as condoms, so it's likely humans were contracepting for thousands, maybe tens of thousands of years already.
>>
>>18156878
>The most primitive tribes use things (for example seaweed) as condoms
I know sheep skin condoms were a thing but I have trouble believing seaweed would ever work.
>>
>>18155449

Most guys don't care. 4Chan is not representative of the male population at large.

But, you know, who I am to talk in place of all men? Personally, I don't care. Also, I'm not white, if that factors in how you take my opinion. You seem to care about that kind of stuff.
>>
>>18156878
My grandma had Alzheimer and whenever she saw me with my boyfriend she'd tell me to "get fucked in the ass, because anal sex won't make you pregnant before marriage".

I mean, it's not like people didn't have loads of sex before.
>>
>>18156881
I never said it worked...
I've read about it in national geographic or something like that about ten years ago. According to it the girl would put the seaweed inside her and jump after the intercourse

>>18156885
kek. how old was she?
>>
>>18156887
>kek. how old was she?
She was born in 1930, died last September at 86.
She got pregnant before marriage, and my grandpa was 7 years older than her. So I guess she didn't even follow her advice well.

Other grandma STILL tells me "it has a hole on the tip!" whenever she catches me kissing my boyfriend. She had 4 children before turning 23, and didn't get pregnant again just because there were complications to her last pregnancy and she got sterile.
>>
>>18156887
> According to it the girl would put the seaweed inside her and jump after the intercourse
This is really reminding me of the whole "if shes on top gravity stops the sperm" shtick.
>>
>>18156907
now that you mention it... after all we shouldn't expect primitive tribal societies to be overly intelligent, so believing memes seems like a thing they'd do.
But then again - it's still some physical barrier for the sperm, so I'd bet it has some minor efficiency
>>
>>18156839
There was a reason why I did develop strong feelings for. She was very compatible. But I wont go into detail.
>>
>>18155169
What kind of tinder pics do girls like? Im a good looking guy and quite muscular but i cant take a good pic or gym pic to save my life.
>>
>>18156951
Women love it when a guy post pictures of him fishing and/or holding up a fish I heard.
>>
Will I be considered autistic for asking a girl out that hasn't recently given me any sign of being attracted to me?
People on the internet say stuff like "what are you waiting for, the time is now, just go and ask the girl out, someone else will if you don't". But at the same time people say you have to look for signals that she likes you first, etc.
>>
>>18156959
>Will I be considered autistic for asking a girl out that hasn't recently given me any sign of being attracted to me?

What do you think? How do you think someone would feel when they realize you barely talk to them but still think about them enough to decide ask them out?

Or how would you feel if someone that behaves like a friend suddenly tells you they have been waiting for a chance to make a move all this time?
>>
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Girls

I haven't been doing too well lately. I was just texting with a female friend who I consider close. We were just talking and she was asking me about my life. I just sent her a message saying how I'm working hard toward my goals. And even tho I'm very used to doing anything all alone, it's hard sometimes. It's normal to me, but it can be difficult. And I told her that I've never even had a girlfriend before and I'm almost 26 years old.

I regret saying that last part. I'm worried she'll think less of me now. Like I said, I consider her a close friend. But I don't want her to think I'm not a good person..
>>
>>18156769
Honestly maybe she just isn't interested.
She could be in a relationship, or she could just not like you. For whatever reason

Don't take it personally.
You seem like a nice guy to send her messages like that and some artwork so I'm sure you have good intentions and if you are looking for a girlfriend or something you will find one sooner or later.

Sometimes even if someone seems nice, they might just not be interested, and you just gotta move on when they don't respond to you and not take it personally!

Gl :)
>>
>>18156965
In all honesty I would think "oh cool Chris is finally asking me out".
I've no idea how she thinks or how she'd feel, she's very hard to read. She seems attracted to me at times and sometimes she intentionally seems to avoid me.
>>
>>18156980
>"oh cool Chris is finally asking me out".

Are you Chris? How long have you been alone, Chris? Have you ever dated anyone?

Because it's easy to want attention when you are alone. Most girls deal with spergs all the time, so they don't really need the attention. Just saying.
>>
>>18156972
How is not having had a girlfriend if you are 26 years old make you a bad person?

I personally dont think that makes you a bad person at all.

And if she thinks that or judges you about that, then she really isn't your friend.

Im sorry but anyone who judges you for something like that isn't a nice person.

Hope youre okay xo
>>
>>18156984
What attention? I don't get what you mean.
I don't want attention, I just want to date this person.
And yes, I've dated someone before.
>>
>>18156973
I understand.
I'm kinda hoping she does find me compatible though.. next year I will see her again, and I will probably feel awkward as hell, since she doesn't respond.

I guess I'll just make small talk or talk to her friend instead and let her friend know how I felt and ask her what she's like, if she's single etc.. i dunno, I can't spill my shit on her clearly, but maybe her friend will see the sincerity in my statement and put in a good word? I dunno.. Gonna try.
>>
>>18156992

>What attention? I don't get what you mean.

Doesn't matter. Don't ask her out.
>>
>>18157001
Why not?
>>
>>18156986

Well, maybe not bad person. But weird..

She hasn't replied yet. But I really hope she doesn't view me differently.
>>
>>18156999
If she found you compatible or was as interested in you as you are to her, she would have tried to contact you or make something happen.
As simple as that.

Sorry i'm not trying to sound harsh I just dont think you should waste your time with someone who doesn't try.

Also, why do you like her so much you are willing to wait a year?

And yeah maybe talking to her friend is a good idea, so she can play the messenger role, but again you might just find out she just isn't interested
>>
>>18157008
She might view you differently, and think it's a bit weird because I guess majority of people have at age 26 have had at least one relationship.

But regardless, if you two are already good/close friends, and she lets this one piece of information affect that, and change how she feels about you, then i think thats pretty judgemental and not nice desu
>>
>>18157015

I consider her close. I mean, she called me one time while she was experienced girl a severe panic attack to the point where she couldn't even speak. So I just talked to her over the phone for 30 min and did breathing exercises with her to calm her down..
>>
>>18157026

*experiencing a severe

Stupid ass phone
>>
>be me.
>working in a fast food with my ex GF.
>there's a lot of shit to do, it's a busy friday.
>see her cry and hear her say that her father is in hospital.
>we ain't on good terms and there's a lot of shit to do, so I don't stop to ask her what's happening.
>she leaves early, I decide to send her a text asking if she's OK and tell her that if she needs help I'm available, since I think that's the right thing to do.
>she gets mad at me because I didn't ask her when we were working together, says that I don't care and that I'm a horrible person.

WTF, /adv/. This makes me so angry. I just wanted to do the right thing. Am I in the wrong here? I don't think so.
>>
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>>18157010
>Also, why do you like her so much you are willing to wait a year?

Good things only come with patience, not desperation.

Abundance degrades endurance. Endurance produces abundance.

She dressed beautifully, the way I just love a woman to dress, her hair was cut short and adorable, I just felt like fixing it, the way she moved when she danced was pure and intense, she really was enjoying herself, she was a perfect mix of introverted and sociable, my heart rate increased so much simply watching her.. and when she looked my way, it was like my heart said "that one". And I wanted so badly to grab her and dance with her. We are both there because we enjoy the same kind of music, I used to make it, but I stopped for reasons, she still makes it. She ..brought life into me, she have me energy with her very presence. I just felt good near her.
>>
>>18157054
she gave me energy* rather
>>
>>18156665
Hell, I'd enjoy it
>>
>>18157054
Okay well that's great you have found someone you really like and you are willing to wait for her.

However, just be prepared she may not be interested or may not feel the same way about you.

So its a risk you have to take.

But judging from the messages you sent, and the fact that you got no reply, and that she hasn't tried to contact you, I would say that works against you and means she isn't interest.
>>
>>18157005

Because you seem to lack any kind of empathy for her. If your first thought is she'll say "he is finally asking me out" when she sometimes goes so far as to avoid you, then you are delusional.
>>
>>18157081
And that is fine too.

It will hurt me, yes. But I will be strengthened by it.
>>
>>18157083
Some people avoid people they like sometimes.
>>
>>18157095

Maybe when they are 13.
>>
i have a one inch scar on my left cheek and it has left me completely unable to flirt with any girl.Unless i do a plastic surgery I will probably die alone due to my insecurities. What he fuck do i do?
>>
>>18157198

Get a good shrink.
>>
>>18157198
a plastic surgery, duh
>>
>>18157037
She expected you to be more empathetic even though you weren't on good terms.. just tell her you saw her crying at it bothered you. Maybe you felt like your situation with her was impeding you from making a more righteous judgement. All you can do is say you're sorry. If she doesn't accept that, what WILL she accept?
>>
>>18157233
yeah i know but right now i'm 18 and i won't get it done untial another year.do i risk damaging my self with flirting?
>>
>>18157247

Dude, the problem is not the scar. The problem is how much you let that scar define you.
>>
>>18157247
well, I know girls who like ugly men. Like, they require men to be ugly. There are some more necessities with that. As my friend put it "he has to be interestingly ugly". She could never explain what does it mean though. I guess scars might be pretty manly
>>
>>18157249
that's pretty deep because i actually hate myself and how i look. that's why i asked for your help in the first place . how do i stop hating myself for things i can't control?
>>
>>18157256

Self reflection, focusing on the good stuff, and things like that.

If you can't do it yourself, there's no shame in asking for help. I'd recommend a professional instead of a bunch of assholes in 4chan to help you through this.
>>
>>18157256
Accept your flaws and learn how to make light of them. Maybe work your scar into a routine.
>Yeah I fought a tiger and got this beauty
>>
Girls: if you had a male friend whom you got on really well with, but you weren't interested in a relationship right now, what would his chances be once you were willing to get back into things?

And how could he know you were willing? Bear in mind that in this story, you are both unattractive and autistic, with fairly decent personalities, and you hate discussing feelings.
>>
So this girl i've been chatting with for some months has opened up to me quite a lot and i have done the same thing . she has been hurt by her ex and she revealed to me that she was bisexual. when we first started talking she turned down my flirting but nowadays she is really flirty with me and i don't know what to do. If I confess i might lose her as a friend and i don't want that.
>>
>>18157279
Well if you're both autistic and hate discussing feelings, even if the girl does want to get with you, she will probably be way too awkward/shy and autistic to ever have that conversation or bring it up.

So i would say a 1% chance lol

Also if you're just friends, chances are she isn't interested, also if youre unattractive maybe she wouldn't even want to date you?

i donno
>>
>>18157302
Your options:

1. Tell her how you feel
- Risk = you might loose her as a friend, but at least you will know how she feels

2. Don't do anything and wait for her to make her move
- Risk = she might get frustrated that youre not making the first move even though shes being flirty, and might think you are both just friends and go looking for a relationship somewhere else.

If she's been hurt by her ex, chances are she might not even be ready for a relationship right now, but just enjoys having someone she can talk to and open up to, and be a little flirty to help her self esteem or whatever
>>
>>18157309
her ex really fucked her up , she sent him a message and when he replied dickishly she had sort of a panic attack
>>
>>18157315
Well that shows she's probably still really affected by him, and that's not good for a new relationship.

She probably needs time to heal and whatever

Maybe just focus on being friends with her, and if something more is supposed to happen, it will happen.
>>
>>18157302
Then don't risk it. It's perfectly possible she just wants to practise, and is using you for practice because she trusts you and knows you won't try to take advantage of her in her current fragile state.

>>18157306
I would be the one to bring it up. I can foresee the conversation now; I've run through it in my head so many times. But right now, even just having the conversation will be enough to blow my chances, so I need to keep waiting. But, of course, if I wait too long, maybe some other autist will sweep her out from under me.
>>
>>18157322
thanks for this random dude
>>
>>18157323
Yeah i dont know
life is too short

Maybe just go for it?
Because otherwise you will never know

Theres been so many times I've thought a guy isn't interested in me, and I've been interested in them, and because of that miscommunication nothing ever happened, when something could have.
>>
>>18157329
im a girl lol, but no worries youre welcome and good luck :)
thought this thread was opposite gender asking or something
>>
>>18157332
oh it was . sorry i am a little sleepy . goodbye
>>
Is it normal to make and lose friends? How do you deal with this?
In other words, why bother befriending someone if that person isn't going to be one of your close friends?
I only want to make close friends, not just any friend. Am I weird?
>>
>>18157332
I'm a dude, and I just replied to another dude. Hahaha, rebellion! Fight the power!

>>18157330
I think waiting is probably still the best, because she seems to be opening up to me emotionally, and maybe I will be able to learn some shit about her cryptic mind. She goes out literally every night, to tear up the dancefloor, and last night she confessed to me that she likes crowds because then she can blend in and be invisible. But when I did my jokey sex-dance to her male friend who was also with us, and then redirected it at her and accused him of forcing me to do so, she backed away pretty rapidly. But at least I managed to hug her later on (I suspect she is one of those people who freaks out when you touch them, but as long as I say, "I am going to hug you now" before reaching out, she seems capable of handling it, when she used to flinch from all sorts of friendly high-fives and shit).

I'm just talking about her aimlessly now, though, because she's amazing enough that even telling strangers about her makes me happy. Her reasons for not wanting a romantic relationship are that she had a fairly atrocious experience with her last boyfriend (who dumped her one day, blocked her from contacting him in any way, and refused to even acknowledge her existence. She then found out literally about six months later that he had been cheating on her with a close friend of hers for the entire relationship), and now she finds it hard to trust men. She has also moaned to me about some of her other friends who keep trying to persuade her to move on and stop feeling hurt since all this happened nearly a year ago now, and how she will move on when she's damn well ready. So clearly, the best thing I can do is just be her understanding friend, and I would kick my own ass if I decided to ruin it by implying I'd had sneaky ulterior motives this whole time. I therefore need to be her friend until she knows I'm not just pretending to enjoy her company until I can tap dat ass.
>>
>>18157382
That sounds good. You seem to know what you're doing, and you are respectful and caring about her feelings.

I agree probably play it cool for now :)
>>
>>18157350
If they aren't close friends, then it's no effort to know them. Just live without caring about them until you see them, and then just give them the regular niceness you'd give to anyone. There's no way of knowing if they will become close friends or not anyway.

I have tons of friends, and knowing them is completely pointless. But as long as I have other stuff to do in my life, I can just do that instead, and when I see these people for the first time in six months, I can just say I've been really busy watching animu and masturbating or whatever.

Just be a decent person to everyone, but don't try to make friends with them. If you keep meeting people in places where you wind up making friends with everyone, stop going to those places. Or, alternatively, just know them but decline any invitations or whatever.
>>
Ladies;
I'm a guy. If I'm making out with someone and they start grinding against my dick or just rubbing that area, I'm 99% sure I'd cum buckets and quickly.
How do i deal with this without sounding weird like stopping her and going to the toilet or just cumming my pants.
>>
>>18157410
I'm a guy too, but since nobody else is replying to you: grab her hand and move it to your ass or somewhere. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to have your dick grabbed in public.
>>
>>18157455
I think he has a problem with premature ejaculation, not with sex in public

>>18157410
desensitize yourself or something. Or find a girl who doesn't care about sex
>>
>>18155169
Found a girl just like me in a dating site and also found her e-mail. Can't send messages through the site without paying and all I have is her e-mail address.

How should I approach her being as less of a creep as possible? I can't think how anyone would see cold approaches in a positive light.
>>
>>18155449
yes
>gas immediately
>burn the coal pay the toll
>>
>>18155575

>You are very average and plain looking.

But that's alright, isn't it?
>You are very average and plain looking.

But that's alright, isn't it? Most people are average, but surely my personality and such should put me above the average man?

>but that's alright, isn't it?
average and plain are ok, definitely better than flat out ugly

>Most people are average, but surely my personality and such should put me above the average man?
Strive for a decent balance. The more appealing you are the more interesting a girl is going to find you, your interests, your hobbies. Nice looking guys with dull personalities never have issues finding and picking up chicks because girls are content in their own world with their hobbies; they just want a hot guy to come home to for the purpose of banging.
>>
>>18157742
Whoa. Phone spurged out. Sorry bro
>>
>>18157648
Be honest with her. Tell her you're interested but would rather spend money taking her out than paying to send her a message. She probably feels the same way otherwise she wouldn't be on there, would she?
>>
Guys,
How do you feel about receiving handwritten letters?
>>
>>18157760
I guess it could be really cool!
just make sure it's not a breakup letter
>>
>>18155449
Yes. It's indicative of poor decision making.
>>
>>18157760
It's fine as long as your handwriting is legible (to other people, not just to you). In this day and age most people's handwriting has gone to shit.
>>
>>18157772

How is it poor decision making?
>>
Girls,

I have a female friend living in a village, close to my summer residence in a foreign country. I speak with her every year, during the summer.

This summer, however, I got her number. For the first month of texting, absolutely every day, we argued, she said she didn't like me and I cut contact.

Now, the girl is both pretty and smart, she has never had a boyfriend and is very ladylike in her manner.

I was ready to forget about her , when through a common friend she started talking to me and eventually got my number. I talk to her every day now and she is the one initiating the conversation .

I am 90% sure she likes me but I don't understand one thing.Specifically why she insists on pushing me to talk to her friends ( some of whom have a crush on me).

I know it sounds childish but I don't know how to proceed. Any help?
>>
>>18157242
Fuck that, I'm not gonna apologize for shit. I did the right thing and texted her, I could've easily ignored the whole situation, but still I texted her to offer my help.
>>
>>18157756
>She probably feels the same way otherwise she wouldn't be on there, would she?
This makes sense. Thanks.
>>
>>18157760
My14 year old Jane Austen fan self just gasped. Honestly, that'd be great, but I'm a massive romantic, I don't like modern technology and I love books and writing; it wouldn't be for everyone.
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