What does it mean when you've been in a serious relationship

>>18153114
She was betrayed in a way that is hard to people who haven't been in that situation to empathize with.

basically someone she trusted and loved was fucking lying to her and manipulating her for a full god damned year. It's hard to trust someone after that. It's going to take time.

She should probably talk to him less, though, but if they have kids or something,that's going to be borderline impossible.

>>18153114
She can try meds. Antidepressants might help her bounce back.

>>18153114

it means that she was a married woman who got cheated on and now cant get over what happened.

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>>18153127

Thanks for your reply. They do not have kids, and he treated her very poorly - yet she cannot seem to deattach from him.

>>18153135

She has tried antidepressants, but they really wore her down with the side effects.


I suppose I am struggling with understanding why me--and our relationship--is not enough to help her close that divide.

Addendum: he just got remarried over the weekend (less than a year since their divorce) and it has sent her spiraling. I am trying my best to be supportive, but it is difficult at times. It feels as though the way I treat her, and my love for her, is just not enough.

>>18153154
Is that a river of shit and piss that the Special Wojaks created?

She needs to stop communicating with him. If she is crying over him still, she may be subconsciously (or consciously) hoping things went back to the way they did before.

Still clinging (which is the only potential motive for continuing to talk to him) to someone after they cheated on and left you is not normal.

>>18153154
>I suppose I am struggling with understanding why me--and our relationship--is not enough to help her close that divide.

That's understandable. Look, I don't want to be a huge downer here -- but that type of situation really damages a person and it may be a a long time until she really moves on, especially if she's still in contact with him. If she won't cut contact and continues to let what happened hold her down you have to seriously consider whether or not the relationship is worth it for you, because that type of behavior is destructive and extremely inconsiderate.

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short answer:
next time she cries, say "don't worry bb, i'll take care of this." then, find him, and punch him in the face with all your strength

long answer:
she lacks closure and shit

her marriage was destroyed and there was nothing she could do, which is very humiliating and traumatic for most ppl. she needs to get back control of her life in a healthy way - she is trying, in a chaotic, unhealthy way, to repair the past. which in this case is impossible, bc it sounds like that guy just wants to string her along emotionally forever

he will continue to fuck w her head as long as it continues to hurt her, bc that's how toxic relationships work - it never really "ends" until the victim cuts off all contact

someone (maybe a friend, if not you) needs to tell her that he is just making a fool out of her, not to take his bait, etc. suggest ignoring him totally, for just a week or two, just a day even. he'll slowly die without his chewtoy and she'll remember what peace is like for two whole seconds

if you want to support her and make it work, don't think of it in terms of "does she still love him." one - it was only a year ago!! people need time to get over an actual, legal marriage. two - he's literally trying to sabotage her new life and relationship by salting the wounds he created. that's like taking a dump in someone's brain, they will not act rationally/in their own best interest

don't ask her to choose between you. (remember she needs to take control for herself, on her own.) just remind her that she is free now, and that she is allowed to be happy. if she still wants to be miserable after that, then you did all you could


*if he has glasses, break those fucking glasses

>>18153114
They don't have kids, she needs to cut off contact with him. Have her go to some counseling, probably couples counseling as well because your relationship is suffering from this. This is sort of a corny analogy but bear with me. A relationship is like driving a car you need to focus on going forward, if she is always looking in the rear view mirror you crash. Always looking at the car beside you, you crash. Hope this somewhat helps.

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Thanks for all of your replies. The worst part of this all is that she will NOT cease contact with him. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, she will not do it. She claims to hate him, recognizes she shouldn't talk to him, etc. and so forth but will not stop talking to him. It's like she's somehow still in this inescapable web, completely unable to get out. I know I cant make her stop, either, which is frustrating - watching the cycle repeat over and over again, hurt and frustration and sadness, knowing that ceasing contact would at least be the beginning of a fix to it but seeing her time and time again refuse to make that final move.

I've been patient and understanding for a long time, but it's wearing on me. It's like seeing someone shoot up dope time and time again, powerless to stop them, and having to endure the ensuing fallout from it over and over again.

Thanks all for the kind words of advice. It has helped ease my mind, a little.

it means you're a cuck

>>18153114
It means she still in love with him. Shes always been in love with him. Shes the only one who made her feel a special way.

An entire year later and she still has breakdowns about chad, her ex? Hmm really makes you think.

Truth be told, you're just the fall back loser she uses to feel somewhat stable but she doesn't take you serious or considers you a serious candidate as a partner. You're just there to help her transition from the griefing stage and into the arms of the next chad.

Basically, you are a cuck. If she had it her way she would get back with chad in a heartbeat. She would throw everything away she established with your for him. Why do you think she keeps such close contact with him? Shes desperately waiting for him to welcome her back. Tbqqh she probably sneaks away every now and again to get stuffed by Chad's cock behind your back. I wouldn't doubt it.

Hes he one she loves, not you. You're being used here. An entire year later and she regularly cries and breaks down over chad thundercock? Yeah. She wants him more than anything in the world

She probably still loves him, OP. I'm in a similar situation where I can't be with someone because we're not good together, but I'll always love him.

It may be impossible for her to change how she feels and it's possible she loves you at the same time she loves him, but if she keeps contacting him, you should consider leaving.

It's like someone having health problems but refusing to give up things that exacerbate them.

>>18153114
Order her to have no further contact with him. Break up if she refuses. Break up if you later catch her communicating with him behind your back. You're being a cuck. She will not respect you if you don't even stand up for yourself. (She might still not do so, but if that happens then she isn't worth your time anyway.) Quit being a spineless pussy.

>>18153444
Look up the concept alpha widow. Read, and think about you want for YOUR life.

Tell her she has to stop talking to him or you're leaving. In a normal relationship, any contact with an ex would be suspicious at best. Sucks what happened to her, and it's good that you care about her, but it sounds like she spends the majority of her time thinking about him and not about you. You have to think about yourself too m8

Sounds like she has mental problems, I suggest getting a side chick while she gets over herself.