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Going insane?

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I've been feeling like shit lately, and with no interest for anything whatsoever; just glued on the bed all day long. This has been going on for four months already, and my main worry is if this behaviour is affecting my mental health.

Is it normal to have murder thoughts towards people at least once? It cannot be a coincidence that in the moment I have to deal with any kind of social interaction I either try to avoid it, or else my whole day goes to shit.

Every single day is the same thing: they need my help with something, they need my advice about something, they call me for such thing, etc. But every time I call for someone else's help, they always tell me to do it myself, or I get screamed/insulted at. Not only for friends, but for my family also.

People have been calling me a worthless piece of shit and I've been ignoring this all the time, but sometimes I can't help myself but think how would it feel to see them suffer like the way they do it with me.

I've been having this headache for a long time too. It's weird because I tried it with pills against it, and sleeping doesn't help either. But I guess it's because of stress tho.

Also, I've been having these escapism sessions more often than when I was younger, and hearing myself talking to nothing is more common than usual now.

The thing is: do I have to check me up with a professional? Or can I do it by myself?
This is my first time posting here. I don't know if there's any rules to follow.
do you by any chance sit around PC for more than 8 hrs a day? If so, that maybe your answer.
I don't have a PC for the moment. I'm not interested in buying one either.
Oh, I see, if you are going insane, lethargic without PC that's definitely worrying. Did you recently get some trauma or smoke some weed, if that's only last 4 months? What changed 4 months ago?
>Did you recently get some trauma
I've been having to deal with a lot of discussions with my family lately. And when I say discussions, I say verbal and sometimes physical.

My dad started doing drugs and my mom left my side a couple years ago. I've only my grandparents left and they're too toxic, but I don't have another place to stop by. I try to avoid them as much as I can.

I'm 19yo, if that helps.
yeah dude, looks like your family is not going to help you much, they can't even take care of themselves. as painful as it sounds, looks like you'll have try and help yourself without family. You'll have to put yourself as highest priority, job, get gud at school or whatever, otherwise your family will drag you down. Really difficult situation, take my words with grain of salt.
What should I do if they try to bring me down again? I can't stand them anymore.
>if they try to bring me down again?
you mean family asking some help/annoying you again?
i honestly don't know, this is a very delicate situation, if your family, who annoy you too much are somewhat reasonable and haven't smoked out their brains completely, you can try letting out all the pent up anger at them. you probably have a lot of things you'd want to tell them in their face. So, if you really scream at them with some reasonable, truthful thoughts, semi-psycho mode they might understand you a bit and possibly get scared a little, if you out-psycho them. It will be all that more dramatic and impactful, since you probably talk to them very little. Otherwise, you can try starting to look for a way and working towards living on your own. Again, take with a grain of salt, because these types of situations are really hard.
Professional help is always useful, you should start by taking a deep breath and accept the fact that your family and friends are comprised of ungrateful jerks who don't really give a shit about your well being, they only care for themselves and they always will, they probably won't change their ways, ánd trying to change them will be really stressful and not worth it, don't kill yourself, don't kill others, do you have a job?
you probably don't, so, consider getting a job, any job is fine, as long as you can start saving some money, pro tip: don't spend your hard-earned cash to those ungrateful persons, save money and leave for another place where you can feel safe, away from the toxic, poisonous environment you currently reside, start all over again in a new place, a fresh start, another chance at developing fresh and healthy relationships.
I always try to restrain my impulse since I don't know where I could end up into, but I'll try my best on having a chat with them. Hopefully they may understand...

Actually, I was interested on looking for a job, but since I have these kind of reactions I fear that my temper goes to shit with someone who doesn't even know me.

I am thinking on trying out with a professional again, I hope this one works. Do you think they will make me take some kind of thing for my case?
just be careful, you may see psychiatrist or whatever, he may possibly give you out some pills, but there may not necessarily be problem with you, but your internal family problems. You'll get some pills, get high, but family won't stop annoying you. If it's really undesirable environment, you may end up even worse. If it's really as you say and they are legit ultra-toxic and have drug problems, pills are not guaranteed to save you imo.
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