Are guys in relationships happier?

>>18148630
not necessarily, no

>>18148630
Yeah if it's a good relationship. If it's not then they aren't. But the happy ones were likely happy on their own and didn't compromise that by being with the wrong person, just like they didn't look for a girlfriend just so they could be in a relationship at all.

No.

depends. not all relationships are happy. ex problems, people being insecure, and a bunch of other shit can keep a relationship from going well. but dont let that stop you

When I was in a relationship it made me consider suicide every night, it wasn't even a bad relationship desu. We both loved each other and I don't even know if those thoughts were her fault. I broke up with her and i think about her every minute. She's dating some guy who's nearly twice her age now, she keeps finding me on different social media platforms and messaging me, I block her every time

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you aren't happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship. It doesn't matter how great it is, as high as the highs get, the lows will always be worse.

>>18148630
Let this sink in for a moment:
>Most people break up from their relationships
>Most people in relationships are unhappy

You think youre gonna be the 1% that is in a lasting relationship AND is happy?

>>18148677
Most people are unhappy because they're so damn arrogant and think they deserve only the best feelings, the most amazing sex, etc.

>>18148689
My man, all i wanted was a cute girl to cuddle with, and I ended up with more than i could've asked for. Great relationship, love and support. Really my best friend. I had everything I wanted in a relationship and it still fucked me up. Doesn't matter what type of relationship it is, 9 times out of 10 you'll cry yourself to sleep at least once a week.

>>18148694
I'm sorry that happened to you. It's not easy for anyone, especially when only one person decides "eh I don't want this anymore".

>>18148689
There's some truth in what you say, unrealistic expectations is the number 1 reason for people being unable to connect.

The one that loves less Holds more power. Always be loved more than you love.

>>18148698
Trust me on this one, often times the specifics of the relationship are irrelevant it'll still fuck with you

>>18148689
>>18148700
Yeah unrealistic expectations, but also just the lack of will to go through any hardships. Easier to just escape, in one way or another.

What a stupid ass question

Sometimes i wonder how many actually retarded people browse 4chan

>>18148630
You become more aware of your shortcomings while at the same time notice more women flirt with you. Happiness is relative.

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>>18148758
>Sometimes i wonder how many actually retarded people browse 4chan
I hope you include yourself in the counting

>>18148630
Mostly no.
> Get gf
> Gf criticizes not being committed
> Get married
> Marriage is boring af
> Wife convinces you to have kids to fix marriage
> Have two jobs and have to also do chores at home and at the same time pretend wife is contributing equally because gender equality

I'd say that men tend to wind up miserable in long term relationships.

Married men (or men in a very LTR) statistically report more happiness and better health. (http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/marriage-and-mens-health)

But if you're talking your everyday relationship... too complicated to answer. Generally speaking most people will very sensibly say that being single is better than being in a bad relationship. But if you're someone who is very dependent and anxious, this might not be true, just to name an example.

>>18149541
Also piggybacking on >>18149548, this is a common stereotype (that marriage is for women) but actually not true at all. Obviously looking at how men and women cope after divorce is tricky because men typically just get the short end of the stick, but on top of married men scoring better, men cope worse with being a widower than women cope with being a widow. If anything studies so far suggest that women are better able to deal with not having a partner than men. Probably at least in part because they tend to have better support/social networks outside of a romance relationship.

i would say it depends on the guy

>>18148630
Not particularly

>>18148748
>>18148700
I go through this a lot but also just listening to the reasons people give up on people is hilarious.

Their fingernails were dirty, they got mad at something I don't think they should be mad at, they got upset when I was hanging out with/flirting with other people wahhh I just want my freedom, they aren't perfectly smooth and suave 100% of the time, too short, too black

I can't tell if it's fear of commitment or simply unreasonably high standards that make people act like this. I also can't tell you how many times I've heard people say they were "tired of fucking around" or "gave this person a chance" and then ended up in an amazing relationship. So it feels like I have to wait until someone decides to "lower their standards" and be more realistic about their expectations for a person, and just so happen to do it when I come around.

>>18148630

at first they are. but after 3 months it just becomes another facet of life.

>>18148647
This.
People amplify each other with projections of emotion.
One guy who's pissed all day would affect the people near his desk.
One guy who's happy actually makes everyone else happy because he's happy.

Love amplifies happiness under the right circumstances, but that's all it is: amplification. I can't really create happiness unless both are happy.

>>18150333
*love
Fuck this keyboard.

>>18150293

So I'm guessing you haven't been in a relationship before and are just bitter because you think you know how it feels?

I am a VERY happy single man, OP. I had a relationship I got out of last year, and the freedom is fucking amazing. I don't have to worry about anyone's feelings, ask anyone's permission to go on trips, go to the bar, I can fart and scratch my ass in bed as decided, eat as bad as I want, jerk off at 9 in the morning, flirt with whoever I want... the list is endless.

The only way I'm ever getting into a relationship again is if the girl is absolutely perfect.

>>18150368

this is where I've been the last four years. the only time i really hated it was when i had a hard time wtih family (dad had a stroke) and really just wanted someone to hold me and tell me it would be okay.

I ended up making my bro cuddle me while we watched cabin fever. it was awkward but ive been fine ever since so it worked.

sounds gay, but it worked.

>>18148630

Sure, if it's a good relationship

If not, then they aren't

Pretty simple really

>>18150384

Maybe this is because of my upbringing, but I see being cuddled and told things are going to be okay to be a sign of weakness. I feel like that's a mom's job for a little kid, and after you grow up, that goes away, because it just isn't going to be okay. You toughen up and soldier on.

(I have a mom who has a 'no complaining' policy. If you complain, she'll give you something more to complain about, by physically destroying your property or something.)

>>18149548
Well said anon.

>>18148630
I'm in a relationship and I'm pretty happy with it.
Idk its been said in this thread already but if its a good long term relationship that works then its great but not every relationship is going to be what you're looking for. If it was easy to find someone you can work with for longer than a few years and still not hate them then I think everyone would be married and you wouldn't be asking this question.

>>18150404

and i see the inability to get what you want to be a weakness.

I'm a man and i like to be held, most men do, and most men do get held by their lady partner when something bad happens.

it doesn't stop you from toughening up and soldiering on, the hug doesn't magically make the problem go away, you still deal with it exactly the way you would without the hug.

the difference is someone just shows you some human warmth so you don't feel as sad about what happened or is going to happen.

but by all means, dont do something in the privacy of your own home so that strangers who would literally never know wont have the chance to judge you about it if they happen to be psychic.

>>18148630
depends on who theyre in a relationship with

>>18150417

I don't care what other people think. I actively don't like the way it feels. It doesn't mean I don't like intimacy, and being close and watching a movie or something, or discussing my feelings and talking about them constructively, but being held in an emotional time and lied to about how it's going to all be made better makes me feel uncomfortable and lied to.

>>18150434

>i dont care what other people think
>thats why i labeled it as weakness instead of discomfort

if you dont want to feel lied to, start by not lying to your self.

Good relationship = happiness.

Bad relationship = wish you were single.

>>18150446

Don't read too much into diction on a Laotian sheepherding chatroom, anon.

Feeling weak is the same as discomfort in a lot of cases.

>>18150460

im sorry you're so weak that dealing with something uncomfortable is a 'weakness' instead of manning up and dealing with it.

>>18150468

I'd rather deal with it on my own rather than someone telling me it's going to be okay and cuddling me. How are you missing the point?

>>18150483

im not.

feeling uncomfortable is weakness. so instead of manning up and dealing with discomfort, you avoid it.

which is somehow not weak. manly somehow.

somehow.

>>18150486

This is roundabout logic - I don't like being cuddled, but I should man up and be cuddled like a baby, so I can prove I'm strong?

>>18150368
Why are you attacking me man?

And yeah I've been on all sides of this. Was in a relationship that sucked, been turned down/broken up with over stupid shit/bs excuses.

>>18148630
I am, personally, happier to be married than I was when I was dating.

>I kind of hated dating--I have a lot of baggage and issues that need dealing with to enjoy being with me, and it's been my experience that it's easier to work this stuff out over time than when trying to get to know someone, or especially sleep with someone, quickly. Turns out I also don't like casual sex, although I tried to give it the benefit of the doubt for a couple of years as a manslut.

Are my life and my relationship always perfect? Absolutely not. Real, grown-up, long-term relationships (of which hardly anyone on 4chan has real experience, with no offense intended--this is a young people's website, and I don't consider any relationship long-term until you are at least a few years in, which most young people here simply haven't gotten around to yet) require constant maintenance, on the part of both partners. I am sometimes intensely annoyed by my wife, and she by me. But do the pros outweigh the cons? In my case, definitely.

All this is not to say that I couldn't have been just as happy as I am now if I were single; I enjoy spending time by myself and there are aspects of bachelorhood that I definitely miss. But I like being in a theoretically permanent relationship much more than I ever liked looking for one.

>>18150551

I'm only attacking because it perpetuates one of the things I see on this board all of the time - a bunch of bitter guys who think that anyone who ever breaks off a relationship is horrible and evil, because they want to get into a relationship and cling to it for dear life.

So many people here squeeze so hard that it's why their relationships squirt right out.

>>18150595
OK, so obviously it could be a matter of it not working out, but how does that refute what I said? I'm just pointing out that expectations are unrealistic. Not "high", but unrealistic. The shit women expect from me out of the gate, like knowing exactly how to turn her on and say all the right shit etc. is just jarring. They basically want me to be a player for them. I can sort of see the appeal but it gets annoying when I feel like they've forgotten I'm a human being with my own emotions and insecurities, and I only want to deal with so much "testing" before I just get bored and walk away.

I do want to be attractive and sexy for a woman I'm with but if I have to be in big daddy alpha male player mode every time around her, if I can never lighten up and relax a little, then I don't want a part of it. Honestly.

>>18150657

I get you there, it can be annoying to have to not make a single misstep. Those are probably just shitty people, though. You have to remember, many people are chasing the high of being wanted, not the settled, comfy part of one. I'm guilty of it myself sometimes.

But that's talking about the courtship process. If someone doesn't like you for being too short, or the color of your skin, that's just a preference and you can't hope to fix it.

There's a difference between "giving up in a relationship," where things are already established, and just being outright rejected.

The people that really get my goat, and why I attacked you, are the ones that come into threads and see people complaining that their girlfriend is fat, or the relationship has gotten stale, or something way more serious, and you get the relationship defense force coming in and replying about how no one has any loyalty or anything anymore.

I may have misread your post the first time around, so my bad if so.

>>18150682
>There's a difference between "giving up in a relationship," where things are already established, and just being outright rejected.

You'd think but I've talked to people who admitted to making up reasons not to date someone because they don't want to be close to anyone. It may not be that there's really an issue with the other person physically, they just have hangups because they themselves are insecure. I'm honestly guilty of the same thing, I'll go up to a woman, talk to her, ask her out, and then on the date I start feeling bored/looking for a way out. She won't look as good as I remembered, and I feel like it's something I do to sabotage a relationship happening so I can avoid more pain or something.

>and see people complaining that their girlfriend is fat, or the relationship has gotten stale, or something way more serious, and you get the relationship defense force coming in and replying about how no one has any loyalty or anything anymore.
Hard to say why that is, I know it's frustrating though when someone just complains that a relationship is stale and isn't really doing anything to bring it back to life. Just "wahh entertain me make me happy again". Both sides could be valid, depending on the circumstances.

>>18148630
If you are a happy person, you will be happy regardless.
If you are an unhappy person, you will be unhappy regardless.

>>18148630
>Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

>>18148630

Depends on the relationship. A bad relationship will make anyone miserable, while a good one boosts anyone's mood. However, studies have indicated that men in long term relationships and especially in marriage tend to lead healthier, happier and more subjectively satisfying lives. So, essentially yes.

>>18150772
But do they lead those happy lives because they're in a relationship, or is it just that the happier guys have an easier time finding love because their positive state is more attractive and more likely to land them a girlfriend or wife?

I can think of fewer unattractive personality traits than someone who is constantly down on themselves and life, and I can't think of a single woman who would want to be in a relationship with a depressed, unhappy man.

When the girl isn't putting you through one of her many shit tests, yes.

Overall, I prefer to be in love, than alone. But it's been years since someone loved me.

>>18150772
I've read those same studies. The only time men were happier in long relationships/marriages was when the girl was Asian. Feel free to share otherwise.

>>18148630
Personally the times i've been in relationships have been the most unhappy parts of my life, but the girls i've dated might've just been shit people.

>>18148662
>When I was in a relationship it made me consider suicide every night, it wasn't even a bad relationship desu. We both loved each other and I don't even know if those thoughts were her fault. I broke up with her and i think about her every minute

This

>>18148630
Past relationships? No
My current relationship? Oh hell yes

>>18148630
Sometimes, not always.

>>18148630
Relationships gave me structure, every time I lost a gf/wife I lost my sense of purpose outside of "get money, do well in social circle". Turns out, that's what's most likely to get a woman to jump your bones, but you can't forge iron in the fields of Elysium.

Relationships WILL make you soft, and relenting on what makes you strong will lead a woman to find someone who will stoically grab her by the pussy after steak dinner and watching half of a movie you USED to love, while she only comes home to you to eat hummus, watch Moana on DVD, and sleep with her back facing away from you.

>>18148630
I'm in a great relationship but I still have the same problems. I dont feel lonely anymore, which is good. But a relationship in itself doesnt fix a person.

>>18148630
yeah, but as soon as their "friends" call them whipped because they dont have what they have, they start to get depressed. so if you have those kinds of friends, pick one. (assuming your girlfriend isnt a crazy latina)

>>18148630
At first.

A lot of people are in relationships with people they don't fundamentally like and it forces them into situations which they don't want to be in.

On top of that they're too incompetent to make relationships work even when they're good. All you have to do is have sex and good times with a chick and not be an asshole. That's it. And they can't do it because they're worthless pieces of shit.

But to answer you question. Yes. Married people are happier and live longer than unmarried people. Humans are not asocial creatures by nature and we need intimacy and companionship to be content. Without those things you will become miserable and broken.

Nah. It may feel weird being single after being in an LTR, but you adjust if you react to a breakup properly (no contact, no stalking, forget about your ex) and begin to realize being single is just as good. It feels more exciting, relationships are different at different ages of life tho.

>>18148630
ive got a qt 3.14 nazi gf. Shes petite, great body and bretty intelligent. All we do is browse hiddenlol, 4chan and efukt. There is also absolutely no jealousy in the relationship. Life is great, never been happier.

Being in a good relationship > being single > being in a bad relationship

>>18148630
Happier than what? Girls in relationships? Guys not in relationships? Potatoes?

>>18148630
Just saying you don't get in a relationship only to be happier. You get there to live.

Everything gets more intense because there is someone else involved, someone you love dearly. Thus also sad moments, or fights can happen. The point of a relationship is to both comprehend each other motifs and learn from each other. We humans are programmed to socialize. A partnership is the most powerful from of interaction you can achieve, thus it can be fulfilling even if not happy.
Ultimately, you do what works for you and hope that that works for your partner as well.

>>18148630
Yeah, i'd say so. If you compare it with
>tf no gf

If you're a regular guy who's between relationships, then hes probably just as happy.

But if its a sexless beta orbiting neet thst i know populate 4chan, then yes. Gf means happier

>>18150368
>So I'm guessing you haven't been in a relationship before and are just bitter because you think you know how it feels?
This isn't a valid criticism and he isn't wrong
>a bunch of bitter guys who think that anyone who ever breaks off a relationship is horrible and evil, because they want to get into a relationship and cling to it for dear life.
So justifiable assessing and criticizing people who specifically want easy ways out of relationships, and don't want to put any effort in automatically makes him bitter? There are bitter people yes, labeling him one isn't an argument. And even if there are bitter people on here, that doesn't mean people who take easy ways out are above criticism. They want to make lazy choices, the they can't complain when one of the consequences of those choices is criticism

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>>18152663
>you're all just bitter virgins
>why can't I monopolize an upper-20% male?
>men are pigs

>>18152670
That would be more realistic if the bottom woman wasn't getting any either.

>>18148630

If they like the girl and enjoy spending time with them then yes. Not always the case though.

I find I'm a lot happier now without the stress and anxiety my last relationship was giving me towards the end of it. First 3 years of it I was happier than I am now but the last 6 months of it I was much less happy than I am now.

>>18152663

Well, for one, I already apologized to him. But yes, it is a valid criticism. It's like never eating pizza but bitching about what toppings people like, or how many slices they have.

It is perfectly legitimate and okay to want the easy way out of a relationship. Now, a marriage, or kids? No, you should work on that shit. But if you're just dating someone and it feels off? Do you. Break it off. You don't owe anyone anything to fight for something that's already broken. And you don't deserve criticism for it. If anything, you're sparing the other person's feelings by not fucking around in some charade.

Yes, feelings are going to be hurt, but that's part of life. A relationship should satisfy both sides.

>>18152794
>>18152670
It's only realistic for sex and the only reason why it is, is because men are much thirstier than women and dick is cheap compared to pussy so they are more willing to settle for a girl looking worse than them just to get their dick wet.

http://activepause.com/relationships/statistics.htm
Less than five percent of men and women over 50 have never been married. 69% of men over the age of fifteen have been married at least once.

It's nice to make these pictures and all, but in practice it's not just true.

>>18152794

It'd be more realistic if the genders were reversed, and if it was a thirstiness chart. Men are entitled and vastly overestimate their own attractiveness, and NEVER go after girls actually on their level.

>>18152913
Yeah, bottom guy might marry but his wife will cheat on him with top guy just for the sex.

>>18152927
>normal men don't get women
>actually they do
>okay they might get women but then they'll get cheated on!!

There is no arguing with a conviction like this. Realize that the only person you harm by telling yourself all women are shit is yourself.

>>18152935
They only get women for convenience sake on her part.

>>18148630
The root of your problem is you're always fantasizing about the what-ifs. What if I had a girlfriend. What if I was rich. What if I was handsome and tall.

I guarantee you, even if you found yourself a gf, you'll not be happy.

>>18148630

if it's good, yes.

receiving sex and cuddles 3 times a week free of charge is pretty nice.

Not really no

Fucking around is more fun

It's good if you're looking to raise children or if you're a starry eyed beta with few options but to cling to one girl

But otherwise it's s waste of time

Girlfriends and wives are bigger ball busters than fuckbuddies

Been there around 3 times. Would not recommend personally, happy MGTOW now.

Yes and no. A loving and intimate relationship is one of the best ways to create a content life. But an unsatisfying relationship can make even the happiest person a mess. It is all dependent upon the bond.

No mate, don't fall for the happiness meme it's always fleeting. That's just life

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Fuck no. Shit gets stressful real quick over stupid shit. Or i could really just be an asshole

>>18148630
If they come easy to them, no. If they don't come easy to them…maybe.

No. My partner is mentally ill and talking to them is getting worse and worse as each day goes by. I want to break up at this point but they would probably kill themselves if I did.

>>18154579
>Themselves
Is there more than one partner?

>>18150384
That's pretty gay, anon, at the very least extremely feminine.

But I do understand. While I'd much rather not dump my depression on some poor girl, having someone who actively wants to make sure you're emotionally okay is the best.

That love and support is honestly one of the biggest things I miss about my last relationship. I'm sure I piss my friends off due to appearing primarily concerned with sexual satisfaction, but it honestly pales in comparison to having someone be your cheerleader.

>>18148701
Also the one who initiates the breakup.

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I'm going to say yes because I haven't actually been happy since I was a child and still thought Santa was real.

I do miss actually enjoying the holidays and not really being affected by valentines day

>>18148630
Yeah, I have a good relationship.
But it doesn't mean I couldn't be happy if I were single.

As a man who's aspirations in life include wife and kids I can say that I would probably be happier in a relationship.

As long as you don't fall for the having kids meme

>>18148630
No.

>>18150333

>One guy who's happy actually makes everyone else happy because he's happy.


This is bullshit.

At work I act upbeat, positive, and my co-workers like being around me. But I'm not a happy person. I feel pretty miserable as soon as I get in my car and drive home. I just fake it on the outside. It's not genuine

>>18152921
this is some shit bait you should be ashamed