Actionable Advice

>for the socially isolated

The only adviseable course of action that minimises the distress caused by being socially isolated/retarded is to get a menial job that isn't too taxing, then start a collecting hobby that will occupy a decent amount of time. I myself have started a gaming collection of a certain system of which I am edging closer and closer to completion but probably never will, in the same way Achilles will never beat the tortoise. It's an ultimately fruitless endeavour even if you do complete it but it's really for speeding up the passage of time and to avoid thinking about your current situation. Also when you go about collecting occasionally you'll run into normies, usually fucking hipsters, who for some reason are impressed by your dedication and/or collection. Savour that crumb of acceptance but DON'T get addicted to it. Acknowledge their interest but don't give them much satisfaction.

If all goes well, you'll die a busy man. Not happy mind you, just someone who was too busy to acknowledge his depression.

A tip I learnt from Dr Steve Brule:
>Go to bed early you doofus. Cos when you're sleeping there's no lonely times, just dreams.

I guarentee no one here will give better advice than this.

>>18147050

Always split 8s in blackjack.

>>18147050
Don't eat the yellow snow.

>>18147050
"Never eat in a place called Mom's, never play poker with a guy called Pop, and never fuck anyone crazier than you."

- Nelson Algren

>>18147054
>Go to bed early you doofus. Cos when you're sleeping there's no lonely times, just dreams.

When im awake, I can only think about sad things and things I will never have

My dreams tend to give me the things I need/want but then the realization that comes upon waking up that it was just a dream crushes me even harder than staying up, but that one second of pure happiness is luring me back to sleep just so I can get crushed again

It's like my brain is telling me to get fucked

advice

>dont just hit on a woman

its no secret that women are the ones who are approached, and they make decisions on which men to keep in their lives. that being said, desperately drooling over each and every girl as if they are a potential love interest is silly.

give yourself more value by not letting a woman sway you on first impressions alone. before you ever begin to say anything remotely flirtatious, talk to the girl. see what she actually acts like when you interact with her. have a normal conversation. if there isnt anything special there beyond her looks, friendzone her. or simply stop talking to her. you do not need to hit on each and every girl that looks good enough to be your partner.

doing this gives you more value, and the psychological effects are great. in addition, women will take you more seriously. instead of being 1 of 500 men in new york who went straight for the kill, you took the time to get to know them. whether it goes anywhere or not, this approach also just gives you practice talking to girls in a casual context. its less pressure than trying to impress them.

>>18147258


>only ever use dating apps as a supplement to your real life dating.

dating apps are toxic. consider the following
>people use dating apps because they arent having much luck in real life
>they go to a dating app where they are introduced to an entire smorgasbord of men who want nothing more than to bang and/or date them
>after just one day they will have seen everyone in their area
>within one week they would have talked to everyone they are interested in

so anyone who has been using the app for more than a few weeks clearly has some sort of issue. likely, they are the female equivelent of what i discussed in my first post.

they want a 'bf' but because they have a very specific idea of what a bf is, they arent finding it anywhere. instead of seeing if they have real chemistry, they are simply walking down the aisle, trying to figure out what is the ONE thing at the groccery store they can buy, based solely on pictures and labels.

if a woman is on tinder for too long, they are losing their ability to feel chemistry.

you as a man can fall into a very similar pattern here, but with the added harshness of constant rejection.

it is an app made for people who want to date, yet no one seems to have success there for very long. that should tell you something.

>>18147259


>but anon, how do i use it as a supplement to an existing dating life if i dont have a dating life.

effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.

the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people who come into it. interacting with someone in a casual way shows you how you ACTUALLY get along, not how you hope to get along cuz you really want this to work cuz you need a gf.

so write down a list of all your hobbies, and find a way to externalize them. most people live at least near a city these days.

go to any and all hobby shops and ask about local events. gun shops might have hunting trips. or you can just go to a shooting range. comic book stores have game nights. or live commentary movie nights. if these shops do not host events, offer to host one through them, after all it will only lead to more money through them.

you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.

its okay if it doesnt pan out. this isnt a scoring system. there is no man in a cloack in space making down on a cosmic chalkboard how many failed conversations you had. 99% of interaction is dumb. you are waiting for the 1% and enjoying talking about your favorite things with strangers until then.

>>18147261

>but anon, going outside somewhere to find out if maybe they have an event doesnt suit my lazy lifestyle!!1!

and for those who simply cannot bring themselves to get up out of the house without a guarantee go to meetup.com and look for something of your interest. no matter what your interest it is on there in a group you can meet with. and if not, you can start your own meet up.

Now, some of you may argue that these sorts of tailored events are attended mostly by men. yes. mostly. but some women too. whats important here is you will be doing something you love, with people who love what you love, and when the right ladies come along you'll know they love it too. you will have that common ground.

Do you know how handshaking began? (Bear withme - this is going to be relevant)

Knights in shining armor would remove one metal glove and hold out their bare hand, knowing the other guy could take that opportunity to cut it off with their sword. The point was that the first guy was taking the chance of trusting the other one not to do it.

Two knights both removing their armored gloves could clasp hands in mutual trust and friendship.

The point of the story (I promised there would be one) is that EVERY attempt to connect with someone, in friendship or romance, involves the risk of being wounded, but that you have to take the risk and hope for the best.

Open yourself up emotionally to a guy and he might cut your hand off. Or he might not, and you can shake hands.

insomnia advice:


some people respond poorly to electronics / lights. even little blue lights on computer or even clocks can cause a problem. sometimes just electric signals can cause the problem (or so people claim) and the only solution is turning off the power in your room from the fuse box. put oyur alarm clock in the hallway if you must. i dont think its a coincidence that most people sleep wtih their cell phones on their bed side table yet have trouble sleeping. that things constantly monitoring everything. ine recently started telling me when i was running late for wokr cuz it literally keeps track of where i go and when.


you could also consider
>poor diet choices

tihs doesnt mean eating bad food, but rather the wrong food at the wrong time. from a scientific standpoint it makes more sense to eat a large meaty type meal for breakfast (the kind we have for dinner) and later in the night ew should be eating things we'd normally have for breakfast, some cereal, oatmeal, things with milk, etc. Your digestive system can keep you awake if its owkring too hard, and meats are the hardest thing to digest.

also, caffiene. even coffee in the morning can affect you at night. you still feel sleepy but that doesn't mean you can fall asleep if some stimulant keeps you up. consider cutting out coffee.


you might just be uncomfortable. the electronics and lights factor in as i mentioned. but you could also have a bad bed. this can become harder to bare as time goes on, not easier. you could also not be at the right temperature. science says its easiest to fall asleep if its really fucking cold, but you're slightly warmed by the blanket.

>>18147265
noise may also be an issue. some people think that some sort of stimulation helps them fall asleep simply becuase tossing and turning for 20 minutes (the max 'healthy' time it takes to fall asleep) is too boring. so tehy insist on music, tv, etc. consider turning off all those distractions for a whole week to test yourself. one night isnt enough.

yet another thing to consider is your brain itself. its hard to fall asleep when you are worried. to help me sleep i tend to lay out all the clothes i know i will be wearing the next day, as well as line up literally everything i will need before owkr. this makes my morning really easy. dont have to remember where anything is, or pack a bag worrying about time. when your brain knows everything is in a row, it relaxes. my mornings are easy. wake up, drop a deuce, brush my teeth, do my hair, put on an outfit i dont have to pick out, grab a bag, out the door. that easy.

an extension of that is sometimes your brain keeps you up thinking about hwat you need to do tomorrow. its suggested that you do something like make a 'to do' list of everything that needs done the next day. even if its stuff you do daily. organizing a list convinces your brain not to worry, cuz everything you need is on that piece of paper. it doesnt have to memorize or figure out a timeline. cuz thats already done!

if you do homework/are in school, NEVER put off homework to be done in the morning before class. your brain swill stress over this. anything similar as well. if its due tomorrow, you finish it today.

__________________

>>18147266
getting a full 9 hours of sleep EVERY NIGHT. set your alarm clock for no more than 1 hour later on the weekends. go to bed at the same time as you do on weekdays. after two weeks your body will have adjusted to this sleep cycle and you will fall asleep easy.

your body doesn't just react to how much sleep you get or when you wake up, but also when you fall asleep. mkae it a habit to fall asleep at the same time each night and your body will keep up with that. even if you took a nap in the day, it will try to fall asleep at 10pm if thats the time you always fall asleep every other day.

Despite what I said earlier about how things can distract you at night, some people legitimately do sleep better with a little stimulation, or background noise of some kind. I personally fall asleep wihtint 30 minutes if I have some sort of story on. generally its narrations of creepy pastas. sometimes an episode of a very chill show (actions and loud shows should be avoided). genearlly i dont even actually listen. sometimes i do, but a lot of the time i cant focus and just wander into sleep. white noise (literally just a fan) is supposed to be the best. i prefer stories. if ur falling asleep within half an hour, you're not doing too bad. 20 minutes is the recommended time though. if you are awake for an entire 45 minute episode of television, its not helping.

_______________

how to depen friendships:


>Stress
>Time

lets start with
>stress

stress brings people together. its the reason soldiers come back from overseas feeling like they are brothers. the reason teenagers make really strong friendships so fast is partly because they think everything is stressful. they think everything is hard, and the end of the world, and dramatic. they get emotional about everything. and they share those emotions with each other and support each other and quickly become the best friends ever. even if the stress is imaginary, you can still bond over it.

now stress doesn't have to be bad, and it can be manufactured healthily. by which i mean, you can do things that require more effort than just hanging out and chilling.

Got a really good co op game? play it with your friend. play it til the end. beat the game together. go camping together. go on a road trip together. make a movie together, write a book together, anything that makes you work together. something more than just sitting around and chilling. enter a contest. find a friend and do anything that takes at least a few months to complete and keeps you close.

>>18147268

another thing is
>time

now i dont mean spending years together. cuz many people who have known each other for years only know each other superficially.

the truth is that most 'friends' in adulthood meet at max once a week. they use each other simply to relax or have fun. its usually in a group, but even the 1 on 1 time is shallow. you talk, catch up, then go back to your own lives.

someone can know someone for six years and not beclose.

on the other hand people who share the same job and work together daily become REALLY fucking close. or the person you go to school with. or like when you are a kid, spend a lot of time wtih, 1 on 1.

in a group people are less likely to share private details. one on one, they are. less to be embarassed about. people dont share secrets with groups. they share it with one person.

dont be afraid to have an adult sleepover if you can convince someone. the above mentioned roadtrips, camping trips etc. are also great ways to bond. anything that can you hanging out for a full day instead of just the lunch chunk of the day.


finally a third thing im adding
>share

if you want people to open up, you have to open up first. share something personal. you have to be willing to go to someone with a problem and talk about it, but dont whine regardless of the advice. you can say' i dont need advice, i just need someone to listen and to care'. if they are worth being your friend they will. they might share their own experience. and next time they have a problem they might come to you.

good luck hope it helps

how to change your life:


you probably went to bed many many nights and said that tomorrow you are going to
>wake up early
>work out
>eat healthy
>clean the entire apartment
>start the job hunt
>start educating yourself on something new
>start that book
>etc

and hwen you wake up you cross off maybe 1 or 2 things then give up the next day. the reason for this is we are not meant to radically change our lives overnight. otherwise we'd all be perfect. it takes time. 28 days to be precise. doing one thing for 28 days makes it a 'habit' and something you arent likely to drop.

so what you need to do is create a monthly schedule. each month you tackle a really big change. i went through this two years ago when my life was a mess
>january: just fix my fucking sleep cycle. early to bed, early to rise
>february: start working out, at an actual fucking gym too
>march: eat healthy! not just carrots and shit, btu spend ttwo weeks without any junk to prove i can get it out of my system
>april start my new hobby / education (For me it was making a web series)
>may: start a consistent chore chart that i adhere to strictly.

you can do other little thigns each month as well. like starting to apply for jobs should probably be month 1 assuming you dont igve it its own dedicated month. when you do get a job or some major life style change, please remember that your new habits wont carry over immediately. the first week is you getting used to the job. then next week you work working out in to your routine. then eating healthy,. then chores. slowly adapting those hobbies to suit your new job or education.

its okay if you dont immediately catch on with something, thats why you have a month to get it right. the first two weeks are the struggle. by the end of it you'[re on it.

>>18147271

try not to make goals you cannot guarantee, for instance
>MAKE NEW FRIENDS
>GET A GF

you cannot guarantee that anyone will want to be your friend or gf, and at best, you can only guarantee someone who is not good quality. instead, have a month where you start implenting new ways to socialize. forcing yourself to go out twice a week (not to a bar, but anywhere, you'll see in my next set of advice).

when it comes to girls keep in mind that 'working out' does not mean instant success. what attracts women is a nice physique, and it takes time to develop. saying 'IVE BEEN TO THE GYM FOR SIX MONTHS AND NO GIRLS ARE SITTING ON MY FACE YET' is silly because you have maybe just reached the point wherei t starts to show, assuming you were dedicated.

and when you do look good remember that the body only gives them interest in you physically. you still have to be the kind of person worth knowing.

How to live alone:

define 'alone'. im guessing you are edgy and claiming that the universe has magically decided that you will be single, so im going to write out assuming that.

the things you need for a happy life are
>a job you can stand
>'productive' hobbies
>meaningful relationsihps

lets start with
>a job you can stand

not everyone gets their dream jobs and most dream jobs are not what they are cracked up to be. however if work is something you hate or get sad at the thought of, then your job isnt right for you. try to find a career field you can stand.

my best friend loves working at a restaurant cuz its social. he just has to take orders, make small talk, and deliver plates. it keeps him on his feet and burning calories. I cant stand wokring at a restaurant. i enjoy the exercise but after that it makes me feel like im dead inside. I prefer working in a small business cuz i enjoy wearing suits, relaxing, doing math etc.

dont be afraid to try new jobs. it may take up extra time until you find the right one (what iwth working one job and applying for another) but its an important sacrifice to make until you find one that works for you.

>>18147274

>'productive' hobbies

i put productive in quotes cuz the actual definition of productive is hazy here. my advice is generally to take something you enjoy doing in your down time and reverse engineer it. for instance,

>do you like playing video games? learn how to design one
>like reading comics? draw one!
>reading books? write one!
>watching TV? film a web series!
>watching movies? write / produce one!
>sitting in chairs? build one!
>listening to music? learn an instrument!
>like cars? start remodeling them.
>any other subject? consider a podcast! or managing a meetup!

some hobbies can be a little expensive but a LOT of hobbies are getting cheaper and cheaper by the day. even filmmaking is REALLY cheap after the initial investment. i even learned visual effects to make it even easier for me to tell the badass stories i want.

whatever your interest, reverse engineer it. dont be afraid to try multiple things you do not need to have one hobby for the rest of your life or even the rest of your year.

write a book, then a comic, then radio play, then learn to build shit, then make a video game. do anything you want. just make sure its the kind of hobby that has a sort of 'end game' and mile stones.

just 'drawing' doesn't have much reward cuz there isnt much you can do with a drawing when its done except post it. no matter how bad your comic book is some people will want to read it.

most people avoid productive hobbies cuz they have a weird fantasy of only doing this when tehy magically get a huge budget and it becomes their careers. dont bother. just produce something for the fun of it.

>>18147275

finally, meaningful relationships. this doesn't mean dating. on the contrary. Romance is the absolute most fragile of all human relationships. its the reason you go through a million girls in your lifetime (whether in actual dating or just weird fuzzy feelings) but your best friends tend to be a select few.

if you like your parents, try to deepen that relationship. if you like your friends, deepen that. or make new friends, some hobbies, such as the filmmaking, are GREAT ways to meet like minded friends, and working together on such projects really bonds you together.

generally speaking. the best way to bond with people is to spend extended periods of time together, work on things together, and experience emotional shit together.

the reason high schoolers seem as close as those soldiers that call each other 'brother' is because in a high schoolers mind, daily life is just as dramatic and traumatizing as a battle field. its edgy, but it works. they share their emotions together adn spend more time together than they do with their parents.

so dont be afraid to collaborate with people on building, designing, writing, go camping, take a road trip, or just have a fuckin sleepover where you intend to beat an entire game.

nothing bonds people together like time. being 1 on 1 also helps as they develop a bond with you instead of a whole group.

good luck OP, hope this all helps. if you have any questions comments or concerns let me know, I'll be around for a little bit but gotta go cuz a friends coming over to do a greenscreen test.

>>18147277
Thanks I guess.

Always go for the ugly girl

4chan is way beyond the pale and don't you ever forget that, no matter how long you've been here. Insane/bitter/hateful opinions are fostered and nutured around here.

To those that are academically gifted but socially retarded, do not waste any opportunities given to you and work hard.
Trust me being somewhat smart, only works for those that have a silver tongue or a silver spoon up their ass.

>>18147583

>i guess

RUDE.

If you know someone who's in a military family who refuses to join a military branch stay away from them, they'll be one of the worst fuckers you'll ever meet.

>>18148456

what? why?