How much of dating is up to fate?

>>18143057
The fuck is RNG? Of course it's a numbers game and of course effort needs to be there. You can't expect to run a mile in 6:00 minutes while walking, you've got to put in effort, just like asking people out.

>>18143057
Maybe you come on too strong? Do you talk to them and text for a bit before asking to go out? Or just jump right into? You don't want to come off as desperate or they will feel that. Acting like you don't give a fuck either way usually works. People want what they can't have. Seem super busy and into your life so they will want to be a part of that.

>>18143191

This seems so alien to me. I have tried both ways. Seeming super busy just makes the woman forget about you and obviously throwing yourself at them makes them feel like you are a pussy.

I don't know what works. I feel like women have so many options that chasing dudes isn't even necessary.

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>>18143057

>A part of me thinks that its not even worth it to put too much effort into dating.

Spend your life alone then. We don't give a shit.

>It seems like asking women out has nothing to do with skill or how you really do it.. but it all boils down to if she says yes or not which you have no control over.

If you fucking suck, women won't go out with you. If you don't, they will. Using fate as an excuse to absolve you of responsibility is a cop out, kid.

>>18143214
Fuck off.

>>18143199
Not true. They're just really good at acting busy and like they don't care lol you just need to find a happy medium. For example if they text you, wait an hour or a few to text but then also say sorry for the late response was busy doing __. And sometimes respond right away. Then they know you're interested but not desperately awaiting their call. Honestly with age comes wisdom. You just have to keep trying to figure out what works for you. Or if you're at a bar or party. See someone hot you wanna chat with, let them catch you staring at them once, then do your best to avoid them for awhile. Eventually they'll start talking loider so you notice, or they'll start looking at you lots, then you know you have an in

>>18143233

good post.

Came here to feel better about my own confidence issues and instead got advice. Thanks Anon.

>>18143057
Women are easily fooled by confidence. And sometimes retards are full of confidence because ignorance is bliss and all that.

>>18143173
RNG stands for random number generator. RNGesus refers to the random numbers in games that explain random drops, enemy encounters, etc.

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/rngesus?full=1

>>18143347
>And sometimes retards are full of confidence because ignorance is bliss and all that

id give a solid 10 iq points for some confidence
if i was blind to my flaws and focused on what was good about me, absolutely every aspect of my life would improve

A lot of it definitely is just luck. It's hard to find anyone I'd even want to date, and when that rarely happens, she's always already taken. All the good ones seem to be.

>>18143057
It absolutely is RNG, much like everything in life.

I met my wife in high school 15 years ago as a freshman. My only real serious relationship in life and im so fortunate. She means the world to me. How did i meet her?

RNG.

One day i was shopping with my junior year sister and she asked me what tyoe of girls i was interested in since i was a high schooler now. I told her i like smart looking girls with braces and glasses. She laughed and said had no clue i was into that. The she said she knew a girl she recently met in her math class that fit the description. A few days later she introduces me to her to the girl and the rest as the rest as they say, history.

If that isn't RNG then i dont know what is. Had i not went to the store that day, no wife. Had my sister not gone, no wife. Had she not asked me the question, no wife. Had whatever triggered thst question to come up in the convo no happened, no wife. Had she not failed algebra 2 as a sophmore, no wife. Had she not had her in class, no wife. Had she not been assigned a seat next to her in order to befriend her, no wife.

And then of course, had she not liked me and everything i stand for and vise versa, no wife no wife. no wife

And this is how ever encounter in everyones life works. The RNG is running in the background in life and shit just happens as we live. Who knows what i may have missed because of the RNG roll i got that landed me here today. Who knows what you could be missing or wont avoid due to the RNG in life.

>>18143233
>>18143305

my theory is that women want to think you barely find them attractive/girlfriend material at all whatsoever, while at the same time thinking you are totally horny and in love with them. And it's their being unsure of which of the two it is which may get them wet.

>>18143057

its not 'fate'. there isn't a cloaked man in the sky dealing out gfs to people he deems randomly worthy.

if you have never had a girlfriend despite approaching women it says a lot more about you than it does about fate.

Exactly because it's a numbers game, all you can do is trying to make your chances better while realizing that some things are out of your control.
Depends if the end result is worth it in your mind.

>>18143938
its definitely RNG like this guy said

the problem is you dont even get a chance if you dont roll the dice. i think thats the problem with alot of us here

you cant meet someone if youre on this site all day. we have to go out and do stuff, ALOT of stuff in order to even have a shot

cant win if you dont play

>>18143057
My brother in law is a 6'5" lawyer who works for Google and played divison II basketball in college. I'm a HS teacher.

We were talking about this exact thing around a year ago at a family gathering and he said something that has stuck with me ever since. "If you're having to chase women, you're doing it wrong. There really is no such thing as 'being good with women' because being 'good with women' has pretty much nothing to do with women." He then went on to reel off a bunch of examples of notorious womanizers (Jeter, Sinatra, etc) and how their desirability had way more to do with their status and success and how it required basically no deliberate effort on their part to command a woman's attention.

I don't know. It's stuck with me a lot of because I think about how much energy I've expended in dating over the years developing "game" and conversational skills and practicing approaching and whatnot, and how not one of the women I've successfully dated or taken home on a given night wouldn't have immediately disregarded me entirely if Ryan Gosling had come in the room or some 6'5" lawyer with a 5 o clock shadow had sat down next to them instead. My efforts to demonstrate my value to them would immediately pale in comparison to the concrete social value they recognize in a celebrity or a doctor or something.

I know it's sort of an obvious point ("hurr durr women like powerful, successful men") but I think I'd always just assumed that there were...more alternatives, I guess? Just seems like its a far better use of your time to build your social status and turn yourself into the kind of guy that doesn't have to try THAT hard. Not saying it's the only thing that matters, but it helps a lot for people to be able to put a finger on exactly how being with you makes them look better to everyone else.

>>18143989
>conversational skills and practicing approaching and whatnot

all these things contribute to social status. being social and confident can sometimes beat having money. i think 'game' boils down to faking social stats if you dont have it, and showing social status if you do

>>18144020
Agreed, I just think what I'm saying is that your efforts to fake it simply won't be competitive when the Real McCoy presents itself, and at least in my experience that's what every woman is holding out for.

>>18144062
thats true. the problem arises when Real McCoy doesnt settle down and pretty much has all of the women under lock and key which seems to be happening now

options are becoming either
1. become ridiculously successful
2. find a wife while in high school

>>18143989
>just be in the top 0.5% of the population bro

Nah, you're retarded.

>>18144068
That's about right. Have you ever thought though that maybe a lot of the problem is the difficulty of being a Real McCoy male and finding your female equivalent?

Like, yeah, a lot of not settling down if you're Derek Jeter is because 99% of the female population will literally throw themselves at you and why the fuck would you pass up on that, but a lot of it has to be that it's tough as hell to find the woman that's worth settling down for once you're at that level of the social ladder. Seriously, who do you wife up? A Victoria's Secret Model? They aren't anything special when it comes to an actual assessment of what they bring to the table and being a quality woman per so. They're gorgeous and its cool to say you date a VS model, but a million famous dudes date them. They're basically the Playboy bunnies of the celebrity world. You going to be the next dude in line date J-Lo or Taylor Swift or get divorced from Halle Berry? Fuck that.

I think a lot of it is that there are more George Clooney's than there are Amal Clooney's or Kate Middleton's out there, which sucks because those really are the kind of people that are worth emulating, not whatever stupid social media starlet is the flavor of the week.

>>18144101
>be in the top 0.5% of the population

Not at all what I'm saying.

>>18143989
>if you're having to chase women you're doing it wrong

being a 6'5 man he has it easier than 50% of other guys right from the start. and if he lifts on top of that, drowning in pussy

unfortunately for the less attractive male, it is he who must chase. the girls will not just come to this one.

plus he worked for big companies AND played pro ball? thats status and money right there. not suprised

>>18144135
>>18144143
Well yeah, but I think the point was that a lot of why he those those things was because he understood that they granted him status (in addition to him also at least somewhat liking them). That's the point he's making. Sure, being 6'5" was just good genes, but developing skill in basketball, going to law school, and getting his way into google were choices which took deliberate effort.

>>18144108
the woman shouldnt really have to be a rich stud like the man.

honestly when it comes down to it, all a man really needs in a woman is for them to be a good person to talk to and good mother. these things arent too difficult to achieve.

i think in the past the difference between the type of girl these top guys can get and the type of girl a regular guy could get would pretty much just be how good they looked

im taking too long to get to the point but i guess it boils down to traditional gender roles somewhat fixing this problem (if it seems like i just jumped to that conclusion let me know and ill explain how the hell i got there)

>>18143057
>It all boils down to if she says yes or not which you have no control over.

If your problem is that you are annoyed you can't control women then we have our answer as to why you're single.

Also
>believing in fate
>posting anime

If you've been on dates and haven't managed to get to a relationship is likely that you were either an asshole, not interesting enough, or just awkward. Think about what you said on those dates, pay attention to how your date is feeling. Don't just talk about yourself the entire time. Maybe look at your hobbies and interests and think "if I was a girl would I date me?" if you have any female friends ask them what you could do to appeal to women more.

If you aren't physically attractive tough, either work to improve yourself or lower your standards.

>retarded guys get girls wtf
Yeah guess what even stupid guys can be nice to women and show some respect, and I mean genuine respect not what fedora wearing neckbeards call 'respect'.

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you can't get a girlfriend because you think saying 'RNG' outside a fucking speedrun stream is acceptable