Premature heartbreak. Help!

possible explanations:
a) as you said, she is living her life. Not everyone is active on dating sites.
b) your message was unsettling in some way. Also, you messaged her twice, which is a big no-no.
c) she swiped on you accidentally.
>What the hell do I do tomorrow when we see each other at work?
Smile. Give her this casual surprised 'oh, I recognize you!'-smile, but don't initiate a talk, since you already seem a bit desperate. Wait for her response, either irl or on tinder, and if there's none, then move on

>>18139004
I know you're right and I keep reading your message, but I am actually pretty hurt.

I am fucking insane right?

>>18139220
Mature people have this passive skill called patience. Use it dude.

Also you can try chat her in person to get fast reaction.

Stay cool dude.

>>18139220
Yes

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>>18138968
I would advise not to get emotionally attached to a tinder match, many people use it just to fuck around.

But since you are already, realize that she is just one of many out there who may match you. If you don't get many matches try looking up guides on how to optimize your profile.

>>18138968
Cut all contact.

>>18138968
shes testing ya frame senpai. if u keep texting her in this situation u will come off as desperate

>>18138968

I'm interested to see how this turns out. I hope you can play it off as not awkward if it falls through though

>>18140386
I'll let you know in 9 hours if this stays up.

Well, there's a variety of reasons. Some have already been mentioned but another one is that she has multiple matches and is already avidly talking to a guy she likes more and feels potential with.
I've also heard of people swiping each other because they know each other, as a sort of "hey, you here!" nudge, without actually meaning that they feel romantic potential. Maybe you were not on the same wavelength there.

Personally I don't think you're crazy for being hurt, but I do think you have to adjust your expectations if you want to use stuff like tinder. I have many friends who use it and no one I know religiously responds to every match. That includes guys and girls looking for other girls (aka having much fewer options). It seems to be part of the appeal for people that you don't have to put in as much effort and can be more careless than otherwise.

I would hate this as well, but that's why I don't do these kind of apps, because I know I'm too thin-skinned (both ways, I wouldn't be able to stand not responding myself either).

>>18138968
Hey guys a girl on tinder wants me to add her on facebook to chat instead of tinder. Problem is all my pictures on facebook are from when I was a little beta. They are all over a year old and I've been lifting since then and changed my hair and look so much different now. Should I tell her something like "I hope you don't go creeping on my old photos, they are all over a year old and I've gotten into fitness since then?"

>>18140604
Some people like a good backstory.

>>18140621
So I should tell her? Once I add her on facebook?

>>18140604
Absolutely don't. Comes across as really insecure. Just tell her "sure, don't pay attention to/excuse my wonky old photos though". Or say nothing and tell her it was your awkward phase when she comments on anything.

Everyone has had a period in life where they looked retarded or at least felt like they did, it's entirely normal and relateable. Still being unironically ashamed of not always having been a stud, less so.

She has eyes, if your tinder pictures are new she knows you got into fitness, don't spell it out for her.

>>18140626
Well the problem is on tinder I have no pics showing my body or anything, just face really so her first sight of my body will be my old one

>>18140629
Just incorporate it in whatever you're telling her anyway. "Gotta go, I'm going to the gym with a friend". Done. Yeah it doesn't give her an idea of exactly how fit you are but think of it as a surprise you still have in store. And she might ask about it and give you the chance to say you've been doing it for some time.

There really is no way to just give her the information that you are now toned without seeming either really insecure or really obnoxious.

>>18140625
Just tell her up front that you just recently got fit.

>>18140631
>>18140630
>>18140626

I don't know how autists like myself would manage without you guys. Thanks anons

>>18139220
No you're probably desperate and have way too high expectations of things and maybe yourself.

You'll reach a turning point where you become immune to these feelings. Right now you just have to live with it.

>>18140632
No problem. Also just realized that the most elegant way would be if you mention it, she comments, and then you give a compact but spirited reply about how you never used to go, someone got you into it, you've been doing it for x period of time and it really surprises you how much clearer you feel in your head and more energized.

Combines the best of both worlds, you are low key informing her that you've been working out for some time, but instead of bragging/scrambling to reassure her that you're more muscular now, you are the guy giving a positive story about his lifestyle improvement. Cheers!

>>18140641
And one more thing, say something about your increased sexual endurance too ;)... She'll go damp immediately.

>>18140641
She said "don't be worrying [cry laughing emoji]" so guess it went okay. Fingers crossed something happens. I'm super fucking depressed at the moment, new job in new place with no friends, girlfriend dumps me, now I got evicted over a single noise complaint and have to find a new place during a housing crisis.

Haven't seen her yet. Fucking nerves

>>18142089
Sexual assault is an option!!!