1 year ago I began an experiment

>>18138703
Self improve and try to meet new people

>Loner hangs out with his mother

yeah there's your problem. Not healthy, make new friends who'll be interested in new relationships

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I could relate to this feeling particularly. I will never get invited unless I invite people by myself, except my friend of eight years who invites me and writes me first. As soon as I stop logging in social media, basically dropping out, nobody would ever contact me. I don't exist in other people's life. If I don't sit at home, I usually fuck around the town sitting at restaurants and mindlessly spending the money on food.

Courses, hobbies, self-improvement, revealing and exposing yourself -- everything is bullshit. One more sort of escapism. It hides the fact that you need other people and other people don't need you, by subtly saying that "one should enjoy their own company".

>>18138703
I tried doing the same thing once. Don't lie to yourself... It's not an experiment. It's a self-validation test of "Am I important to them?"

Then answer we got (Me and you buddy, the same result) is NO. But I realized it might not be that bad of a thing. We can initiate a conversation and a hangout whenever we want, which means they still will clear time for us. But if it really bothers you that much, find new friends and try establishing a deeper relationship, not just "lets hang out".

>>18138845
>>18138851
maybe you two are overestimating how commit it is for people to reach out to a friend for contact?
you don't do it, yet you blame your "friends" for not doing it?

maybe it is that you are in some way anti-social (you don't reach out, after all) so they assume you don't want to hang out?
would it be wrong for them to assume that? if you never talk to them?

your blaming people for not being "good friends" but that takes history, shared experience. real shit, not watching tv together.

because you expected too much of people you felt shorted by them and isolated yourself so you would not feel that? am i far off the mark?

For what it's worth I think at least some of them just may be bad initiators, and their actions don't all necessarily reflect on you. Friends that I valued a lot in college always had to make the first contact with me, otherwise I would have never gone out with them. I was just not very good at taking initiative even if liked them a lot.

>>18138703
Had the same thing happen to me, it's been more than two years and now they started to get back at me and judge me while some of them despise me for no particular reason.
>hey anon, you can always talk to these people more often
>talk to a few
>gets passively ignored or somewhat of a rude comment

I was also always the initiating things but when i stopped they found someone else to do so and that guy used it to his advantage and badmouthed me. No one gave a shit and in the end they hated me for not keeping up contact but i got no single message from anyone.

Sooo fucking glad not going out with them anymore even though we had a great time.

>>18138703

i did the same thing, though by accident. i had brain damage and in that time my supposed best friends ne ver checked on me. i had a brai nstem injury for a bout a month and it wasn't until a month after i had it realigned that i finally got a text saying 'want to come to gamenight?' no 'how are you doing, how is the brain damage? everything okay?'

just acting as if i hadn't been incapacitated for a month, didn't even know i had been cured.

after that i stopped messaging. about 3 over the course of the year id get a message inviting me to game night.

just turned it down each time.

>>18138933
your expecting too much if your not willing to itneract with people on their terms you really limit your interactions, by a lot!
you could have still chilled and had a good time knowing that he aint your best buddy.

>>18138944

>you're limiting yourself

no, i was limiting myself interacting with people who only saw me as another player in their little tournaments.

no matter what angle i tried they had decided that i was no longer worth seeing outside of those game nights.

whereas now I have friends who actually like me.

its not 'expecting too much' that your friend checks in on you when you're hospitalized for a month.

>>18138948
alright man. im just saying you don't have to limit your social interaction to your "best buds".
you can and should make new friends but you don't have to reject everyone else.

>>18138956

mind your own business dude, I got actual friends who enjoy spending time with me as much as i enjoy spending time with them. Just because these people didn't care for me doens't mean im 'limiting' myself.

>>18138962
>mind your own business dude
hit a nerve have i?

sounds like your angry at those people for never visiting you.
i wonder, how many of them you would have visited if what happened to you happened to one of them?

>>18138972

>hit a nerve have I

no, but when someones being redundant, the best way to tell them to stop is to tell them to stop, not debate them.

>sounds like your angry at those people for never visiting you

yes, the only time they came over was when I had a free couch to give them.

>i wonder, how many of them you would have visisted if what happened to you happened to one of them?

the main two that I was concerned with (they're a couple) absolutely. When they had the flu i made them home made chicken soup. even when my boss was hospitalized I ended up at his place every day taking care of him, when my other friend was in the hospital i went to the hospital to see her too.

the fact that you assume i wouldnt visit a sick friend in the hospital is really odd anon, maybe stop projecting your shallowness on to others.