Do I pursue? If so, what's my next move?

>>18137044
A little bit of context-

>guy used to bully me in school
>would make offhand comments about anything I’d say in class
>this was when I was blindly following the early roots of ‘sjw’; ’BLM’ and feminism.
>hatred for him was so strong
>have since changed DRASTICALLY, in opinion, in demeanour, in looks
>have gone right-wing for most politics
>I used to be very vocal about my opinions
>now I just sit and listen to other people and make silent judgements
>lost 11kgs, got my hair cut to something a little more my-age

Basically I've had a bit of a 'transformation', but he hasn't been chasing after me or anything, he just shows a little bit more interest and is a little warmer towards me than he used to be.

>>18137044

send him a pic of your tits

>>18137051
He's not into whores, plus that's fucking awkward, having to see him in class the next day.

>>18137052

enjoy watching him fuck better women then. dumb slut

>>18137057
Wow. Extremely helpful. Great advice, as usual, 4chan. Truly outdid yourself.

>>18137064

shut the fuck up you dumb bitch. if you want his attention send him a titty pic. guys dont care about your stupid fucking feelings and how much youve changed. get the fuck over yourself. holy shit, you are dense.

>>18137044
>>18137048
I'd say definitely pursue this anon. I doubt he ever truly hated you, kinda sounds like he always had interest but your differences were so strong that it was easier for him to pick at you rather than show any interest in you. Think back to grade school when opposite sexes had germs and the one you had a child crush on was always the germiest.

Now that things are different, and you're both getting along I'd say you should hang out with him if he's invited you to (if you're interested in him of course.) Let him take the lead on this one, time will tell you what your me to move should be.

Also I'm sorry these anons are being so hostile, doesn't really make sense to me. Supposed to be a place for help, not ridicule. Discouraging people from asking for guidance is one of the most surefire ways to fuel ignorance, imo anyways. I think your situation is adorable and I hope it works out for you

>>18137076
Thanks for the advice.

The biggest thing stopping me from just approaching him to chill is the fact that he's usually up and about doing things with his friends in breaks. It's hard to interrupt whatever he's doing, with his friends around (who are used to our rivalry in the past), and just take him up on that offer. I may be making excuses for myself. I just don't know of anywhere mostly private to chill and get to know each other... I'm not as forward and outgoing as I once was. I just wish he'd make a move on me, I guess.

>>18137085

Like the other anon said, guys want to see your tits. This is a no-brainer.

>>18137088
I have no defining tits that any guy would want to gawk at. So no, it's not a no-brainer. If he had the mental capacity of a tea-spoon, then possibly, but this dude isn't like that.

>>18137085
Hmm.. you have to consider the fact that he may be sharing similar emotions when it comes to that hesitance. I guess if I was in your position I'd text him and let him know you were thinking about going to ___ and doing ___ during break if he'd like to join you, if that's an option. Could be a study hall, could be a cafe whatever makes him come to you in a sense, to demonstrate his interest.

How he behaves towards you while he's away from his friends should be a good indicator of his true feelings.

>>18137085
Why don't you make a move on him instead? Ask him to take coffee togheter during the break next day. Then when the time comes he will be more easily approchable or willl directly come to you.

Don't hide behind gender stereotypes and do the first move yoirself if you feel curious about him.

>>18137090
I think it's really cute that you've already read enough into him to determine his morality/sense of character. Kinda shows how interested you really are, and it's good that he doesn't give off that vibe.

Circles of friends can be really hard to break into, I'd say put that off for a bit until they get used to the idea of him going out of his way to spend time with you. At that point, you being in the circle won't feel so alienating because they'll have adapted to the idea of the two of you coming and going as a pair.

Hopefully this makes sense

>>18137091
Another problem I have is keeping our messenger chats running. For example, I messaged him maybe an hour ago asking him how his day was going, we chatted for a bit, started discussing something, but he just stopped. I don't want to push him to reply, because I hate that. I wouldn't want forced conversation but I just really want to talk to him, and keep warming up to him through chat over time.
I get he might have other things to do. I guess I just shouldn't force it.

>>18137090

Guys love all kinds of tits. He would enjoy seeing yours. You don't understand men, that's why you came here. Men are giving you advice. Listen to them.

Or continue to be a dumb cunt and be ignored by your crush. Your call.

>>18137103
I get you're trying to help but this isn't what I'm looking for, and I also really don't think trying to make me exploit myself helpful at all. It's also ironic that you call me a 'dumb cunt' and 'dumb slut' for NOT doing something dumb, or slutty, such as sending him nudes.
That's not the kind of relationship with him I'm looking for. If anything I just want to get on a friend basis with him to see if there are any deeper feelings to be shared. So please leave your hyper sexualised minds in /b/.

He's not going to respect me for straight up showing me everything he wants to see. It's the chase that counts, anyway.

>>18137097
>>18137099
Thanks for your help, guys.
I guess I should try and put away any anxieties of awkwardness, because I can't predict how it will play out if I just try. I'm avoiding any embarrassment if it turns out he's not interested, that's all.
I'm also worried because he brought up another girl at the school in conversation, saying he felt an 'insatiable desire to be with her, and not even in a sexual way' and that's essentially how I feel about him. Not 'be with' as in a relationship, but to be around, and to just hang out with. So if he is into this girl I'll step off. I'm not super duper hung up on him. Like I said, if it's worth it, I'll pursue, but if I'd just end up embarrassing myself I'd rather back off.

>>18137102
Can't really give advice on that one because it's something I struggle with. It's like the more often I talk with somebody, the less conversation material I have and I feel like I'm constantly up their ass. The only advice I can think of is to make sure that whatever you say last is open ended. Leave room for conversation instead of coming to conclusions, hopefully that makes sense.

For example if you were to talk about children, generally stating that you want kids is a conclusive statement. Where as asking if he wants any leaves a window open that he's kinda forced to address at some point. Alternatively you can say something that should invite curiosity, like "I've been thinking about what it'd be like to have kids."

Horrible topic for such an early stage, but it's just an example. Keep things open ended is my point though

>>18137114
>'insatiable desire to be with her, and not even in a sexual way'
Jesus Christ.

That's a pretty cringe way to put it, although the sentiment is fine. Maybe it sounded better in context.

Regardless, if you like him, you should definitely do what the other anon said and ask him to hang out via messenger. You could just say "Hey, want to get coffee with me after class on [X]?" (or, you know, pick a time that works)

You don't have to do this, but honestly you could also do a lot worse than just saying outright, "I'm starting to like you." Yes, it's direct, but not embarrassingly so, and then you instantly know whether it's a go or whether he's too hung up on the other girl and you should redirect your energy elsewhere.

>>18137131
I'm considering eventually just telling him that I'm starting to like him, to see his reaction, to see where it will go from there, and if he just doesn't want to engage, then I know not to waste my energy or emotions on something that won't work out.
Offering to go out for coffee isn't really my speed, and I can see him enjoying something less conventional than that. Again, paying attention to his personality.

>>18137152
Do it. No promises, but from what you've said I give you pretty decent odds. And I'm quite sure that whatever his reaction is, it won't be something horrible, he's not going to embarrass you.

In a way it's pretty good that you're not super duper hung up on him, it means you can cut through the usual bullshit and get some resolution one way or another a lot faster and more easily than you otherwise might.

>>18137114
i would date you

>>18137103
i'm a guy and i like tits. favorite part of tits is when spooning and i slide my hand up her shirt for a nice handful

op, either go talk to him and invite out or consider it a lost opprotunity

ps had a girl flash my group of friends once because "im drunnnnk". thought it was funny, we hooked up but she was nothing more than short term material at that point

>>18137568
Seconded.

OP, are you there? How is it going?

>>18137568
>>18138003
Neat, thank you lads.

>>18137608
I'm not doubting anyone's love of tits, kek. I love tits. I think my tits, however small they are, are pretty damn neat. I just don't want to give him a look or anything unless we were in such a situation where he could grope me from behind in bed. Would be a cool opportunity.

>>18138758
Hey, I'm here, here's an update;

>Tried to pick back up the conversation
>"Feeling clingy, aye?"
>Want to fucking die
>Explain to him I didn't mean to force a conversation
>He said it's fine, I was just offline so he didn't bother responding
>Asks if I have anyone to hang out with
>Tell him no
>Because I literally only have one friend and he's my ex.
>He jokingly says to hire a male escort???
>I jokingly say "great idea" then try to make the conversation open ended
>"What do you do when you're bored and in need of conversation?"
>"Do something stupid."
>I tell him I'm interested
>Saw my message
>No reply

I feel like I've missed my chance with this guy. I don't want to pester him to talk to me but I really just want to say "I like you, so either tell me to fuck off or talk to me, cause I want to get to know you."

Also after that conversation last night I ended up getting a little drunk alone in my bathtub, and then Skype calling my ex trying to get him to help me out, but he refused to talk about it.

>>18138882
ALSO something I forgot to mention
he's been calling me 'babe' every so often in the chat. I honestly feel like he's just toying with me or something. Like he's making me be more interested only to shove me back down... I dunno... I hated him for a reason; he was a massive douchebag, honestly. But he's also really charming, even if he doesn't realise it himself...

>>18138882
>"I like you, so either tell me to fuck off or talk to me, cause I want to get to know you."
you know what, from what you said so far, this is actually, probably, your best bet. but chances here he is not interested.
there is no way he missed that opening accidentally. you basically asked him out.

>>18138919
Just the embarrassment of having to face him in class if he says no. I overthink the situation and it ends up becoming debilitating.

>>18137102
>>18137119
there isn't much value to endless conversation. if you want to spend time with him do it in the real world. spending hour chatting is BORING. better things to do. don't blame him for not spending all his attention on texts/chats.
in my experience women do not fucking get this. i don't text much or chat much online. girls actually get upset at me over this. amazing. wana talk lets talk, in real life.

>>18138925
you choose to be embarassed.
if he rejects you then so what? you gunna be his best bud? no! he is out of your life forever at that point, so you really have nothing to loose.

he thinks your a clown, WHO CARES.
he likes you back, might have found your soul mate.

but it is a long shot. worth it IMO. its one chat message, it takes 5 seconds, its no effort at all to do, the worse case scenario affects you pretty much not at all, so do it.

>>18137044
>>18137048
>>18137099
Are you in a romantic comedy rn? This is kawaii as shit.

>>18137044


Challenge him on that offer to hang out OP. Ask him on messenger what he wanted to do. This is forward but should be easy enough for you to do without being too much. It will get him to think more about you. Perhaps chuck in a little teasing insult/joke alongside.

Just take the offer. Ignore the other Anon's about sending nudes. I will not deny that guys primarily think with their dick, but sending nudes would make you serm thirsty and its very demeaning for you.

With the no reply messaging thing, it doesn't matter if he doesn't reply. Hes busy/nervous to answer so is probably thinking about it. Most things you send aren't bad. Just don't send loads and look like you rely on your phone for life - that looks basic and unattractive.

Anyway, good luck desu, and remember to HANG OUT WITH HIM

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>>18138930
Thanks for your feedback. I'm laying off him today to assess the situation and just reflect and figure shit out. If he messages me today, I'll try and be vague or whatever. I'll just pull my hand out to see if he comes back up for a bite.

>>18138932
You're right, thank you.

>>18139044
A few of my closer peers in class, who've known me for a while joke about how funny it would be if we turned out to become an item, even after all the years we had a rivalry/didn't get along.
I see it like pic related. He's kind of a sporty dude. I'm a little eccentric. It is almost made for a movie desu.

>>18139047
I like your advice, anon, thank you.
>ask him what he wanted to do
Will do. I can't decide for the life of me how to hang out with him. I should add that the only two times a guy has been interested in me, they've usually been the one to make the move, or approach me. So yeah, this is a challenge.
>don't look like you rely on your phone for life
>looks basic and unattractive
Irrelevant but I have a Nokia. I never use it outside of emergency calls or texts. Smartphones are a waste of time (imo).

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Update:

WHAT THE FUCK DO I SAY?

>>18139351
I blew it. I shouldn't have replied. How do I fix a stupid mistake?

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>>18139357
continued.

I'm getting way too nervous for something as trivial as this.

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>>18139351
>>18139369

You are both fucking weird and terribly awkward. Enjoy your weird and terribly awkward sex.

>>18139386
You're probably right.

>>18137044
Get some real problems.

>>18139395
Sorry I didn't know there was a standard for an advice board?? Thanks.

>>18139402
Now you know.

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I was straight up with him and he slapped me with this fucking shit, went offline and hasn't replied. I don't want to give up but now it definitely feels more like a waste of time, unless he's just trying to put up a front or something.

>>18139698
>"oh boy wow that was awkward i'm gonna go offline and think about what to say next"

>>18139718
This guy is so smooth and calm with his friends but as soon as he's messaging me he makes shit awkward, difficult to reply to, and vague and inconsistent. What do I tell him?
"You don't have to be sarcastic and put up a front with me. Are you intimidated or worried?"
Like I just want to know so badly what's in his head. It's frustrating because I want to forget about it, but he leaves me hanging for more.
Is this guy just secretly a master?

>>18139730
No, he's just awkward. It's easy for him to be Big Dick McCool with his friends because well they're his friends and it enables him to feel more confident. I wouldn't be that forward with him. It'd probably make him feel more awkward, especially after this front he's used to giving you. I don't really have advice, but the generic or safe thing would be that you just need to get used to messaging each other. Adapt, compromise, whatever.

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>>18139730

Can you please just fuck this guy and get it over with? Your over analyzing is fucking obnoxious and you are just as awkward, if not more, during your communications with him. You are both full of autism. Just invite him over and fuck him. All this wordplay and awkward euphemisms you guys are trading is giving me a fucking headache.

>>18139739
Thanks for your investment in this but that's not the approach I want, and frankly it just isn't that simple in my case. If I was desperate for cock, had a loose pussy and had low standards then maybe, but it's not my case.

>>18137048
Maybe he has grown up and realized he was a jerk to you ? But that does not mean he is not interested , you should jokingly say to him what happened to you how come you mellowed out and see what he says

>>18139819
How do I casually bring that up in conversation? I'd LOVE to know what he thinks of me now, really, but I also don't want to make conversation be all 'me me me me me'. I think if I do ever get a chance to chill with him one on one that will be something I'll ask him-
Cause he did say that feelings change, but I want to know what he meant by that, and what he now feels and thinks about me.

>>18139351
This was quite explicit in intent (you both want to have sex) and your responses were great. Just try to do this again. The rest of it is incredibly awkward, mainly on his part. I get the feeling that he's too nervous to pull the trigger, so it might come down to you.

You two really need to get together in person and stop doing this instant messaging thing. If I were you, I would insist on it and see if he rises to the challenge. You've flirted heavily enough in instant messaging to know that the interest in there on both sides.

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>>18139881
Yeah but I hate diving into sex. And he has expressed he does too.
Pic related is what we were discussing late into the night last week.
So his stance on sex is exactly the same as mine, same with masturbation
(we discussed how jacking it to porn felt empty and unfulfilling and that he'd rather be having sex with another person instead, but he's not into quick casual fucking, etc.)

So here's proof that the guy isn't interested in hopping into bed with me unless we get to know each other first. And I think that's fair.

>you two really need to get together in person
Yes, but exams are a week away, so for now instant messaging is the easiest way to communicate with him away from his friends while I'm studying. Once they're over I'm considering asking him to chill with me, but he's a little too adventurous for a casual coffee chat, but our town is small and boring for anything else.
There are plenty of nooks and crannies I've explored that I could walk to with him. That's finally what I'm considering. But yeah.

>>18139892
Wait so you guys are discussing sex ?

>>18139918
Yeah but not explicitly talking about sex with each other. It just got brought up in conversation.
But then he said this, and brought up some other girl, so that was like a red flag for me.

>"... But I think people can have feelings of lust for people. Sexually tension between two people. Like (Girl's name) right, there is just something about her that I can't keep myself from wanting. It's like this insatiable desire just to be with her. Not even sex, but with her alone.

That's kind of how I feel about him. I want to get to know him so that I CAN be with him alone, and feel comfortable, and not self conscious or exposed.

He's interested in you and he's trying to see if you feel the same way
( that's why he's putting other girls name out there )

Also, conversation that came before >>18139698
pic related:

Guy:
>I don't actually like that stuff
>I'm heavily littering this conversation with sarcasm.

Me:
>I gathered as much
>You know if you just don't want to talk to me you can tell me

Him:
>I never said that?
>Why would you think that?

>Calm down
>I'm kidding

>I'm calm,
>I was just curious

>Whatever, man

>Ok, dude

Did I scare him off? Still haven't gotten anything back from him. I'm about to go out for a drive, so hopefully by the time I get back he'll have said something. Otherwise I'm just going to let it go for the night. I see him at school tomorrow.

>>18139949
just send him a pic of your boobs.

>>18139969
Please... stop...

Bumping cause I still need some other opinions and advice, thoughts, etc.

>>18140265
bump

Any progress?

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>>18140921
Not really. I should have just left him alone, but I messaged him something stupid, but he seemed to react calmly.

He sent me 'x's so I'm going to take that as a clearer sign of his interest.

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>>18137044
I'm not going to lie, your story got my feels, because something eerily similar happened, but I'm the dude. Down to every detail (though one day off on the messaging). I'll tell you the story from my (the dude's) perspective and I hope it'll help you.

So last semester, I was an emotional wreck, I couldn't handle feelings for anyone. However, for whatever reason I had a tinder and used it for affirmation. I matched this one girl who is part of the same on campus club I am in. She messages me, I respond, but proceed to delete the app later in the day.
Fast forward to this year. I am coming out of my rut, but am trying to shape myself to get on the right path. This girl ends up being in my history class as well. I catch her doing small things like looking at me and following me out of class (really endearing for some reason). I still am sorting out my own shit, so I'm still a little icy.
Eventually my life is back on track and I started to take initiative (which matches what you described your guy was doing) and over break, I ask her if she wants to hang out and she says "unsure, maybe" followed by a decent conversation. Second time I ask her it's just "unsure". I respond to it open ended, but never get a response. I completely understand if her feelings for me disappeared. I will probably not try to pursue it anymore so as to not be a rude creep, but I really did like her, I just couldn't be there for her like I wanted to at the time frame she liked me.

Maybe something similar is going on with your guy. I really hope you work it out though OP. Remember, people's intents are rarely malicious, you just have to communicate with them.

>>18141814
Anon, my feels.

Thank you so much for your feedback, and for sharing your own experience. I appreciate it.
Sorry things didn't work out with that girl.

I think what makes me especially hesitant is our past. A lot of the people I was surrounded with also hate him, and still kind of do, because he made a lot of sexist remarks. He just puts up this front that I don't feel brave enough to break through. Again, thanks for your direction, man.

>>18141833
Any news today ? For some odd reason I'm real curious lol