Random suicidal thoughts

OP again, I really am not suicidal and that is why it's so weird. I just can't control the thought when it pops in there.

I find it normal, I'm a very social person with a lot of friends and when I go to bed at night I sometimes think what would be the result of me commiting suicide to the people around me.

>>18136186
Sometimes you dream and think of the most extreme scenarios. And yes those kind of dreams stay with you.
When i was younger i always dreamt of dangerous physical fights, what started as a nightmare turned into exciting and scary thoughts that i kind of would and kind of wouldn't want to happen.
When i got older i started dying in my dreams just to see the reactions of the people around me or some other reason idk. Often these fantasy like dreams even go so far as to me becoming god and immediately after that they turn into nightmares again because i feel like there is nothing left to achieve and it leaves me with the most extremely empty feeling possible.

Whatever you make up in your mind doesn't mean you want it to be like that, sometimes it is even like a warning that you figure out what you don't want to happen.

Sounds like you suffer from forceful thoughts. It's nothing too special for most, but it lands in the OCD spectrum of psychology. People who have this omce had a thought, amd were so shocked or scared or repulsed by it they somehow can't stop thinking about it at moments. It can be innocent, like grabbing a piece of paper and being convinced you're getting a papercut. There are also people who see a train ride by and are afraid they'll have a whim of the mind and will suddenly jump in front of it before beimg able to stop themselves, without having any sort of suicidal tendency.

Don't worry about it anon; in your case it means you're really not suicidal or disturbed. It sounds like in these particular situations, you trigger these thoughts involuntarily.

The more you try to fight a thought, the stronger it will get.
In order to get rid of thoughts you have to let them pass.

OP here, thanks for the input, I think I might go to a therapist just to help the process.

Semi-unrelated, but...

Does anyone know a good place to drown? Somewhere it would be impossible to recover my body?

Maybe some cave or something that goes quite deep?