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Anonymous
Bad Father-Son Relationship 2017-03-17 08:41:05 Post No. 18134654
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Bad Father-Son Relationship 2017-03-17 08:41:05 Post No. 18134654
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I feel extremely frustrated because I'm giving up on even getting along with my dad. I could also get along better with my mom, but lately I'm having serious issues with my dad.
The story goes like this:
1987 (born) to 2010 - Constantly criticizing me... music taste, friendships, videogames, career choices, etc.
2010 - I graduate as an electrical engineer with MBA, summa cum laude
2011 - Trying to set up a construction business with my dad (civil engineer), I get some projects but my brother has a severe accident that drains funds.
2012 - After failed attempt #1 I get an engineering design job, but have to quit in 4 months due to tendon injury. I get insulted on a daily basis by both my dad and mom.
2013 - Business attempt #2, successful. We become contractors of a major bank and a textile plant. I did all the business development.
2014 - My parents lose their mind spending, business falls apart. They pick on me again calling me "lazy", "unemployed", "unwilling to work" when they had just destroyed the business I developed.
2015 - Fuck employment... attempt #3, consulting business (online + in person). Grows steadily while my parents keep criticizing me and their financials are taking a nose dive.
2017 - Making 5x my dad's income and 2x my mom's income. Took over my brother and sister's education bc my parents are broke.
My mom has a decent medical job but my dad is struggling since 2014. I try make him think differently... always an excuse. Try something different... "I can't", "I have no money". He denies reality, says I just criticize and don't help despite the fact that I've paid for my siblings' education for over a year now. They cling to luxuries they afford with debt and won't grasp reality, they ask me for money and I've been very clear that the only help they're getting is my siblings' education because its not fair that they won't become professional due to their stupid decisions.
Getting an apartment next month or earlier, I'm outta here.
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>>18134654
i feel ya. my dad kinda just ditched us for a year growing up so i was never particularly fond of him.
one time he got a call from school saying that i was being bullied, and when i got home he yelled at me for it.
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>>18134654
Had the same situation with my mother. She was demanding and comparing me with other kids who is richer than I did, saying why can't i smart like them? while i got limited access or freedom to be just like the rich kids. Not to mention she often shit about my dad while he's away
I'm now studying abroad and never talked to her again. I only talk when it's really necessary. she's rather docile now.
I think to some point, we just need to let go those who just gives us bad influence. I'm still trying to forgive and let go, but sometimes the anger and hatred still there.
If you have talked and discuss about your parents mistakes and why you can't stand them (and they still not listening) live alone is the best option, OP.
I hope all the best for you OP, be strong.
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>>18134659
Not OP. I'm sorry to hear that.
How are you doing right now?
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>>18134654
Why did you live with them this long?
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What do you really owe him? How about you write an actual letter, a wakeup call. Something where you can formulate all your deeper collective thoughts and make him realize what he's actually doing to you.
It seems that there is a major disconnect. Sure you might argue at the kitchen but it will never actually amount to shit other then petty arguments that disappear the next day.
Look at what you've actually achieved and how you objectively stack up against your peers, sure you parents were a driving force towards your education and business ventures but they don't control you. Make them realize that you make better decisions that they do and that they're impulsive and lack self control.
Something will need to be done because as I see it... It will only get worse as time progresses and the gap between you and them widens.
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