I want to have friends.

i feel you. i live in a small town of about 2500 after moving out of the city and leaving the 4-5 friends i had behind. everyone here is shallow, and uninteresting and all they talk about is football (american) and drinking beer. some of the most unintelligent people i've ever met. i try and make time for my friends but it only makes me fall behind in school even more than i already am and at this point i could care less about my education im just so depressed i feel like nothing really matters anymore. im on 3 medication for mental disorders and all i do anymore is have sex and smoke weed. my life is so empty and meaningless. i have no advice for you. just telling you you're not alone. you seem like an intelligent guy, you'll find someone eventually.

funny how these self proclamed smart asses suffer under their extremely low social intelligence

Be confident in yourself. Act the way you are and don't worry so much about what other people think. Friendship is all about mutual trust, and feeling confident that your friends really do like you, just as you like them. Try to meet and get to know as many people as possible, and stick with those you get a real sense of relationship with. Try to invite them places and spend time with them outside of regular activities. The use of your time just to be with someone really means a lot, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. Remember to just be confident and real. Good luck, Anon!

>>18132957
Thanks bro.

Having sex really doesn't makes you feel fulfilled? I have never kissed a girl.

The reason you crave the company of others so strongly is because you have an idealized scenario of how you would want that to happen in your mind (e.g. " find people like me with the same interests, maybe even a girlfriend as lonely and shy as me."), but the reality is more like your second paragraph. People will bore you to death. People will be incompatible with you. People will judge you. People will want you to leave them be. That's just how they are.

You need to let go of the romanticized ideal. Only then will your loneliness subside because you'll realize that you don't really need other people. You only need to learn to enjoy your own company.

i don't really lack social knowledge i just seek deeper meaning in friendship then what anybody in my surroundings have to offer.

>what if we have nothing in common?
Then you get to practice bonding with or talking to someone you have nothing in common with. People like people who take an interest in them and allow the other person to get to know them. Most people don't really prioritize being able to have hours long conversations about whatever shared passion in a friendship. Being a good, loyal friend who is warm and they have a good connection with is valuable in itself. If you have a good click for talking, you'll be able to have great conversations about where you disagree and argue your own viewpoint.

>what if she already has a boyfriend?
Then you get to practice talking to a girl with less pressure, because you're not going to end up together physically or romantically anyway, so there's much less at stake.

>what if I get bored being with that group?
S-s-s-slow fade.

>what if they make fun of me behind my back?
Then they're pathetic adult bullies who are in no position to say shit about anyone at all, and you should disregard what they think of anything at all let alone what they think of you.

>what if they don't want me talking to them?
They're grown people, they know how to end a conversation if they've had enough. If they don't and act obnoxiously bored, see the point above.

>what if she already has a big social circle and doesn't have space for anyone else?
Then she'll tell you that and you can keep her as an acquaintance or distance yourself. And, again, do some field work in a more relaxed setting.

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>Only then will your loneliness subside because you'll realize that you don't really need other people. You only need to learn to enjoy your own company.

That's what happened to me. Moreover, as soon as I forced myself to be social, it turned out that most of the time it's not the attention, or friendship, or whatever it's closely related to I seek, but rather fear of missing out of crucial experiences. Envious is what I've been.

>>18133016
Also kind of in response to both your OP and other people's responses... This is some pretty sad shit, people are immensely interesting. Exactly how different they are and how they more or less fulfill similar needs in (slightly or hugely) different ways, how biology and psychology play into each other, the way people create stories about their life like what their childhood looked like in short. It's nice and edgy to act like you're too cool for everyone but don't be surprised if people aren't crowding to be around you, either.

Really truly loving another person, not because you are related to them or even (partly) because you want to fuck them but just who they are and for existing and taking a sincere interest in your life and who you are, is an incomparable feeling. It's like a break from your own same old worries and misery to feel real raw joy or grief for someone else's accomplishments or losses. And knowing you're being loved and appreciated/admired for the person you've grown into and not for who you were born as (family)... that's pretty sweet too.

You need to realize that it takes more than a superficial acquaintance with someone in order to pass well-informed judgement on them. People don't tend to make the interesting and unique things about them readily apparent; those that do are usually obnoxious.

I have a lot of unusual interests (unusual being anything other than sports, cars and beer), which I learned to firmly hide as a kid/teenager in order to avoid ostracization. Since they're something I devote a lot of my time to, I come off as a very boring person because I tend to initially avoid mentioning interests that might be perceived as odd and aren't left with all that much to talk about.

I study a field (engineering) that tends to attract people broadly similar to myself, and I've noticed this in varying degrees in other people. Quite a few people I've met that I initially took for shallow and uninteresting occupiers of space turned out to be pretty cool.

Give people a chance, is what I'm saying.

>>18133128
>Give people a chance
Seconding this.

Another tip is to stop being so serious about the whole "muh friends" stuff. Half the time friends are a royal pain in the ass, when they're not the best thing ever. So keep in mind that having friends isnt always a sunshine and gumdrops circlejerk.

Anyways, It's better in the long run to be friendly and light-hearted in general, that way you can make more acquainces that could turn out becoming better friends. So just take it easy.

Time to get off your high horse. You crave company yet you don't give people a chance because you're afraid both their personalities (in your case, interests and so called intelligence) and potential social no-no traits (commitment, possible disappointment) will put you off. As another anon said, you won't know until you give this relationship a chance until you get past simple acquaintanceship.

This requires you to put yourself in a for you, vulnerable position. And i'm putting emphasis on "vulnerable" here, because you're obviously hiding behind dropping pretentious snippets like "19th century philosophers" and your cringy "starving for food" reference. Even your misunderstood artist van Gogh image is pretentious, like you're hoping to attract likeminded people to provide you with advice.

Only when you start realizing you simply aren't that special - in fact, your personality sounds like a textbook case of an inferiority>superiority complex, you'll allow love in your life. From people who probably have a lot more to offer than you currently have. Learn from these people, because currenly you're a complete social misfit.

The worst is that you don't realize it at all, judging by your whiney, self-entitled "if only they knew how miserable I am, they would try to help me." So again anon, get off your high horse, and start thinking what you can offer someone as a friend, rather than sulk about being a special snowflake and what others can offer you to make you feel better.

I hope this was a wake-up call. Best of you to anon, genuinely.

>>18132978
>You need to let go of the romanticized ideal. Only then will your loneliness subside because you'll realize that you don't really need other people. You only need to learn to enjoy your own company.

What utter shit. Almost everyone is craving for attention and companionship on this site.

>>18133289
It's just that talking with people terrifies me...

>>18132962
What does that have to do with this thread?

>>18133330
Only because they have an inaccurate view of how social interactions work which is based on their internal fantasies. If they knew just how much of a drag it really is, they wouldn't crave it so much.

>>18134454
It sucks, but it's worth doing anyway. There are some definite benefits to not being a social outcast, even if you don't get any fulfillment from socializing with other people.

I live in NYC and I fucking hate people here. Everyone is a normie, everybody just wants to go some place to drink instead of doing some sort of substantial and wholesome activity together. Nobody wants to play pool woth me, nobody to talk about non-casual vidya with, even the politics are just immature discussions and knee-jerk opinions over whatever stupid shit Facebook linked them that day, as opposed to well informed opinions, everyone's a fucking career oriented workaholic completely indebted to a college or a bank or some shit, everyone just hides their personality as much as possible because they want to fit in with the rest of the city.

Im absolutely miserable here. I've been dealing with depression for a long time and frankly I just want an opportunity to leave. I don't think there's anywhere in the world these days where alcohol and herd mentality doesn't reign supreme, though.

It feels like the friends you make as a kid are the only genuine people you'll ever have, but my parents fucked that up for me by sending me to the USA when I was 17.

So yeah. It's no better here, man.

>>18132925
>it doesn't want to socialize with the dull and shallow people
Hmm, how do you make friends while not willing to give strangers a chance? It's not working that way. Many people who don't seem interesting/shallow at first end up being very fun people to hang around. So stop worrying about this so much. You won't know if *insert mentioned worry here* is true until you start a conversation with another person that goes beyond "what lovely weather today, isn't it?". Also don't start conversations with any kind of expectations. Maybe you will be pleasantly surprised.

>Maybe they would try to help me if they knew how miserable I am...
No, they won't. People generally like people who are confident. If you act desperate they most likely won't take an interest in you.

>>18132925
OP If you're anything like me, you'll go out and realized all those things you feared were dumb and misguided.

Except for people being shallow. That part is true. I can say this without any sense of narcissism. People are boring and shallow and either too stupid or too afraid to be their own selves.

There's no further insight I can give you. This is only as far as I've gotten. Immoral men exploit this fact for their own gains. Others just start looking for a needle in a haystack, someone else who hasn't gone mad. I don't know where I want to go from here... or where I can.

>>18134717
But what if I hate confidence? It's unwarranted, smug and against my personality. I prefer timid, live and let live approaches.

Why must society still have these caveman Alpha/Beta roles? Why can't I be quiet, respectful and still have friends?

>>18132925
Prove to me you're leagues smarter and more profound than the average bear, and from there we will proceed.

>>18134740
Wow, I've never thought that someone that isn't me shares this viewpoint.

>>18134740
The practical part of social hierarchy is still necessary and useful (i.e. organizations). The egotistical part of it is questionably useful but probably comes down to being useful for mate attraction.

You can have friends like yourself. Just surround yourself with polite and kind people. They're out there.

>>18134671
These benefits are purely of the practical variety, believe me.

>>18134715
Fucking this. I was going to immediately respond about populated areas, but this guy did it first. I'm from New York as well and it might just be THIS city for thinking it's the center of the universe, but everything he said it true. These areas are for people who are already established and want to rub it in lower class faces; nothing else. There's no amusement or entertainment for the people here outside of shelling out hundreds of dollars per night, just to feel a part. Not worth it.

Friends are highly overrated, as well. No one is trying to actually make real connections, everyone just wants those "friends in the right places" so they could coast through life and thinks that if they be as "social" as possible(see FB, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest), they'll end up meeting someone famous and bam, their life is taken care of.

The fact that this chance is smaller then a percent and EVERYONE is going for it shows how desperate, lazy, and weak people can get when you group them together.

>>18134769
Well, based on Freud's works I've been making my own theories on why human beings from different races act the way they act living in modern civilization.

>>18134740
>But what if I hate confidence? It's unwarranted, smug and against my personality. I prefer timid, live and let live approaches.
I think you talk about assertiveness or a certain kind of aggression here. I think what the other guy meant with "people like people who have confidence" was a little bit different. I'm an absolute normie by the book. If you interact with people who fear interaction it's an absolute drag. Sometimes they talk too quietly. Sometimes they don't face you, don't look you in the eyes. That reminds you more of a scared child than an adult and it's kinda repulsive to see a grown person like that. That's just the stuff you notice first. When you talk to these people or if there's a conversation around them you kinda feel that they are more engaged with themselves and their inner monologue than with the interaction. People are like that on occasion, but if it's all the time you just can't get through to them and stop caring, because they don't seem to care and you have to carry the conversation yourself all the time.

>>18135580
They'd have to not be bullshit, they'd have to be sound, so deliver.

Honestly the amount of arrogant pseudo-intellectuals in this thread is too damn high. When will you realize the more you know, the less you -know-? Even a sleight bit of humility would teach you that in order to get what you want, you'll have to work for it. In this case it's opening yourself up for change, rather than expecting people to change for you.