Advice on how to bring a project to fruition?

After re-reading this in a non-tiny-as-fuck-post-window format, there's a ton of things I should've made clearer, it's all somewhat blurted out on top of my head because I was just typing what I was thinking out loud.

If anyone cares at all to have a chat / listen to my situation further, I'd be glad to elaborate on things.

Basically to clarify a few things, I worked total for about 3 years in IT only to feel like I was 'sold a dream' in my school, and it felt like I wasn't able to actually deliver what those companies want to get. They want stats, production, delivery of things, they don't care about the customer being happy and giving in good words to your higher ups, they just look at the cold, hard stats and figure if you're worth their time that way.

For some reason, I was gullible enough to believe that by going into the car sales industry that I could change that, and actually *help* people, hence my taking that course. (worth about 3000CAD$)

After 3 months of stressing, not knowing if I'll have enough to eat by the end of the week unless some random person walks in and decides to trust my dealership with their money, I broke down in the accountant's office.

Way, WAY too stressful not to know if I'll even get enough to eat (base salary was 2/3times below minimum wage, only the commissions made it 'ok'). So I freaked out and 'ran' from the job in a flash without thinking of the repercussions.

I tried taking a job at a corner store but they only had 2 days to give me per week.. that's about 120CAD$ of salary per week. Just not enough for one to live on. After my 4th day of training I had a panic attack and quite litteraly 'ran' from the job, and never heard from them again.

Subsequently went to see the doc to get prescribed anti-depressants to try and reduce the panic attacks, and it's helped, mostly..

I'm just genuinely wondering if I could get any bit of advice to help me out of what feels like.. the bottom of the barrel..

Anyone..?

>slut house
Explain.
Are you whoring yourself out, or is it just a normal house?

It's a silly name for a house between a few sexually-open-minded friends and I.

I'd basically act as a house 'maid', doing chores and all the stuff people don't quite like doing, and I like everyone involved enough that I'd most likely not mind being a bedwarmer and more.

So it wouldn't be 'whoring myself out', but it would imply that I do sleep with other housemates, yes.

>>18131975
This doesn't sound like a healthy situation. Are you by chance autistic, OP?

>>18131978
To be entirely fair, I've never quite taken a test to see if I am, so I wouldn't say I'm not.

I understand this isn't healthy. The reason I started this thread is specifically *because* I understand my situation is unhealthy and that I need help.

... Granted, asking on 4ch of all places for help isn't the best of ideas, but this is the only place I'm not scared to speak my mind ...

>>18131982
What are your goals in life? What made you decide to work at a help desk in the first place?

Heh, that's the last question I thought I'd get asked..

To be honest, I don't have 'a goal'.

I just want to be happy, surrounded by people that I love and that I can make happy by whatever means possible.

I just was thrown towards that because I had a passion for anything gadget-y and tech-y. Basically grew up with a keyboard in hand, so going in the IT field felt like a natural development to me learning about IT through High-School and a 1.5yrs study to get a professionnal degree in IT Support.

I couldn't find jobs that I had 'the skillset' to apply to, so I resigned myself to just mass-apply to IT jobs, and most entry positions are helpdesk-like jobs.

I enjoyed programming, but I feel I'm mediocre at it, and easily get discouraged.

I also think that working in 3D modeling might be interesting and fascinating, thus would give me passion to work at it daily for a long time, but I don't know where to start.. I've downloaded a few free options to learn but I.. quite honnestly don't have much faith in my talent on that side.

Right now, it feels like.. I don't feel like I can do anything?

Idk.. it's hard to explain, to be honest..

>>18131996
To further that point about my 'goal', all I really want is a few key things;

- A place to sleep at night.
- An access to the internet.
- My current PC rig, so I can escape into games and have more online interactions, because I feel that's where I'm the most happy.
- A few people around me that I trust and love dearly. I know I need the human contact to feel happy because I've gone without for about 6 months and it felt absolutely dreadful.

Hence the idea of the 'canadian sluthouse'. I just want to live alongside people I love, work from home so I can be there 24/7 in case my loved ones need my support, moral or physical, and enjoy intimate moments without fear of judgement.

>>18131996
>>18132001
Well, it sounds like your main problem is your debt. If you really want to make this 'canadian sluthouse' a reality, then you need to make sure you have a safety net to fall back on if everything goes to shit. Don't bother planning out the details of this house until you get rid of most of your debt and have a solid flow of income. If you want to work at home, then start researching those types of jobs. Read other people's experiences with them and advice they give -- don't just take the first one you find. You'll want to have this job lined up before you start planning out the sluthouse because you need to make sure it's something you can handle and something that gives you decent income.

>>18132010
Hmm.. Reading it like that makes a whole lot of sense..

So first things first search for online jobs / 'work-from-home' jobs, and don't rush things / look to work ASAP.

Study the field, see what's out there, read about other people's experiences with them, find a good job that can more than sustain me, so that I can both survive and start paying my debts back..

Then I should.. what.. start planning the details for the sluthouse? Or should I start saving up first? or both at the same time?

>>18132016
Once you have a steady job that you're comfortable with and you're making progress with your debt, you can start to plan out the sluthouse with your friends.

Ideally, you'd always want to be saving money. Just make sure by the time you actually move into the sluthouse you have 2-3 months worth of income saved up.

It may seem tempting to start setting up the sluthouse early, but you need to accept the fact that you're not really in a position to do so right now, and it's going to take some time before you're ready to

>>18132030
Alright.

Having a course of action, I feel a bit less.. lost?

However, I know this sounds stupid / silly / childish, but how do I find the actual.. "willpower"(?) to get up and act? >.<

I feel.. like I'm frozen in fear of failing.. I.. quite simply don't know where / how to begin.. >.<