Confusing friendship for sexual attraction?

Why stop them?

>>18130505
Because I don't feel any actual attraction, if I were to get my dick hard by seeing guys it'd be fine, but I don't, it's just annoying.

I suppose trying to stop it will only make it worse though...

This is why Tumblr has all those labels that everyone seems to be terrified of. They're just labels.
What you're describing is "homoromantic heterosexual."

>>18130511
Oh, I guess that makes sense. Can that be caused by being shitty with relationships with girls?

>>18130512

I'm not the Anon you replied to, but yeah. If you lack companionship, that might be the cause of it. You just want someone by your side. Anyone.

>>18130517
Ok that would make a lot of sense, I have been depressed for the past year (finally coming out of it now). I think this could be a major reason for wanting a relationship of any kind. Thanks:)

>>18130498
>>18130512
>Can that be caused by being shitty with relationships with girls?
Yeah, most definitely. If you've never been in a serious romantic relationship, or even romantic relationships in general for that matter, then it's pretty easy for the lines to be blurred.

Don't worry, though, it happens to everyone. I have a few close female friends who I thought were interested in me, and boy is it embarrassing when you go to make a move.

>>18130498

first and foremost, you might be gay and just having an awkward time with porn.

that being said, you are probably like most men, and simply crave stronger male bonding. but in our modern era, we can't understand how to process any feelings toward another male without it being gay.

when it comes to attractive guys, you likely feel intimidated, but being attractive in a masculine sense is something to aspire to, and if you find your self anxious around guys who are attractive in a non masculine sense, you probably get the feelings of wanting to be the role model, or simply see someone attractive and think they'd make a good friend.

it sounds stupid but watch how you work and you'll find that as a general rule you (and really everyone) is drawn to attractive people even on a platonic heterosexual level, we do end up wtih fat and/or ugly friends, but they require getting to know them.

when you see these attractive men, are they strangers or people you're close to or people you are bonding with fast or what?

>>18130676
I don't think I'm gay, I mean, I haven't experimented with guys, but I've had gay guys dance near me or whatever, and straight friends "grind" as a joke (sounds gay as fuck, I didn't ask for it lmfao). Doesn't do anything for me.

I think you're right about not being able to process feelings without thinking it's gay. I think I have got such an obsession about sexuality that it is manifesting itself as this.

Whenever I see an attractive guy I get a pang of anxiety, but mostly strangers. I'm not really "attracted" to people I'm already friends with.

It might be worth saying my Dad hasn't been in my life for the past 17 years, so that may have an affect on it too?

>>18130661
I've been in a couple of relationships but they ended pretty quickly (I'm 18 so I'm not expecting much). I think I'm just really confused at the moment.

>>18130688

>i think I have such an obsession with sexuality that it is manifesting itself as this.

no, its not you anon, its all of america. 'no homo' is funny, sure, but its a joke used to cover the real issue, that men are afraid of being judged just for so much as hugging each other or complimenting one another.

>dad

probably not unless you're attrated to guys who look like him / are older, but a LOT of guys get a mentor boner.

>>18130697
Ok then the Dad thing has no bearing on this.

Do you think I'm just bi/curious? I've heard sexuality is a spectrum before...? Is this true, can you be "kind of" gay (attracted to men but not sexually?). Thanks for helping me out

>>18130701

there are men who fap to flash animations, and bad ones at that, and ones of technicolor horses at that.

anything is possible. but it doesn't really sound like you're bi or curious other than your own insistence that you are.

by your own account you are just intimidated by attractive strangers, which is something you will notice a lot getting older. when you're young nothing really matters and if someones better than you, you think its cool. but as you get older it shines a light on your own shortcomings and you get anxious.

I consider myself more htan reasonably attractive and can look in the mirror and appreciate myself real good.

but i have a friend who is a male model, and all his friends are male models, and they're all insanely hot, like not just that they are all perfectly ripped but also just perfect faces. and anytime im in a room with them im suddenly the ugliest person i know.

either way, if you think you might be bi or curious, feel free to explore. your sexual hijinks are only your own business, and having any experimentation wont ruin you despite what homophobes might believe.

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>>18130707
Haha, I think you're right. The mind is a weird thing eh?

Thanks mang, I think I might just have a better appreciation of men than the average person (?), or just think I do. Anyway I'll try and not worry about it.

>>18130715

trust me its way more common than you think. everyone tends to just hide it or is unaware of it.

if men were the perfectly heterosexual unicorns they describe themselves to be, there'd be no male action stars, there'd be no men in movies, the avengers would be made up entirely of hot chicks and fight club would have been about girls having a pillow fight.

we all aspire to be like great men and look to those around us for camaraderie. we wish to align ourselves with the best, and feel anxious when presented with the opportunity.

you're just like every other guy out there.

still though if you are unsure, just go experiment. once you move past the idea that it 'marks' you its a fun experience even if you're not into it.

>>18130722
I really appreciate your advice, it's made me think about it in a totally different way. For example, I have a memory of wanting guys riding motorbikes to be these cool looking guys (though usually they're middle aged), it wasn't sexual it was just aspirations like you say. Thanks again.

>>18130728

theres all these archetypes and ideas and such. look around and most people are masquerading as what they think is cool as opposed to doing what they legitimately love, and its the ones who do what they legitimately love that tend to be characterized as non masculine despite not giving a fuck about what others expect of them and finding their own way.

but yes, my recommendation is to take some more time for your platonic male friends, have a guys night, or just do something stupidly masculine for the sake of saying you're a guy.

I missed out on that a lot, grew up moving a lot so i focused mostly on dating, went to 5 highschools so i was always that interesting new kid, and its easier to find a girlfriend that way than a platonic friend.

also skipped college, so i never got that frat or dorm lifestyle. in the end i didnt erally experience any real male bonding until september of last year when a fellow anon i met on /b/ asked me to be a groomsman in his wedding. i showed up and it was just me and the groomsman all staying in one house for an entire weekend, having a blast, being unreasonably male.

really opened my eyes to how there is more to life than just dating.

>>18130737
I'm going with my mates to Berlin, we'll be fucking about for a week so hopefully that'll open my eyes to that side a bit more. I think this is a very teenage thing to experience.

I've stayed in the same school for 13 years now, haven't had sex yet (last girl I was with I was super in to but I got sexual anxiety (height of my depression, that was what made me turn it around)).

I'm glad you're more open to that side now, hopefully I will be too soon.

>>18130748

sounds like a fun trip man, enjoy

>>18130759
Thanks, I'm really glad you could talk to me today. Hope you do well

>>18130769

no problem man. just remember everyones having the same thoughts as you do to some degree so there's no reason to feel wrong, bad, sad, or inferior. new feelings should be fun to explore.

again i reference fight club, where even our violent sides have a chance to be explored.