I Want To Forgive, I Really Do

>>18128781
Hes young. People are stupid as fuck at 14. Hormones raging, body changing, he doesnt know who is or his role in the world and discovering the world outside of home. Just take a deep breath. Most teens grow oit of it. Some dont. Just because hes family doesnt mean you have to love him or let him treat u like shit. Im assuming youre older if youre posting on here. Pull up your pants and put the fear of god in that kid before he gets too out of control. I take it your dads not in the picture?

>>18128781

hate to 180 you like this but if you really want your family to succeed, i mean really WANT things to be good & normal & happy, YOU have to be the one to make it happy. there is a void in your house and no one is stepping up to make things OK. things are going to rot from the inside out. instead of feeling sorry for how bad it is and having a fucking pity party why dont you just man up and build the family you want to have. your brother & mother are waiting for you to guide them and show them what it means to be a part of a harmonious family unit. you literally have the power to transform your life. you need to imagine a future and then take action to create it.

>>18128794

That is some great advise. I have tried intervening before, lots before, but it never really worked out. Despite all of those failed attempts, I guess I will just keep trying my best to make a change for the better then. Thanks.

>>18128793
You are correct, and neither is his. I like what I am hearing, but how do I do that? He is small, and an overactor. What exactly constitutes doing that without going overboard? Thank you by the way.

>>18128825

it means shouldering a burden. it means giving more and getting less. it means being fair but being strict. it means setting an example. do you work? do you earn an income for your family?

>>18128837
Yes, I have been doing that for a while.

>>18128830
Well Im not saying beat him to death but speak up when he does something. If hes disrespecting you or your mom - tell him. Have a heart to heart with him on what his actions are doing to the family. Do the good cop bad cop routine. Get in his face and yell at him to get his shit together when hes gone overboard, but make sure he knows hes loved and can talk to you at other times. Sucks your dad is gone, the older sibling always kind of falls into that role after. Hes probably hurt about it and acting out so you can try talking and getting him to open up about stuff. I find younger teenagers are so easily influenced by older siblings so be a good example to him too. Dont forget though - technically none of this shit is your job, its not your fault his dad isnt there, but i get what youre saying, i would do the same for mine. Youre a good person for wanting to love him and help. He wont see it until he grows up some more, but eventually will

>>18128781
There's lots of solutions to this.

1. When he disrespects you either beat the shit out of him or slap him around a little. This doesn't sound like your personality, buts it's how half of us would handle it.

2. Mentally manipulate him into feeling like shit every time he acts out. Position yourself in a positive parental and reinforcing role over him like a reward system. Take it away or detract from it when he acts out, let him know he is disappointing you with that behavior. This takes trust building and respect.

>>18128897
>If hes disrespecting you or your mom - tell him.

This is completely understated in its importance.

The problems that come with >>18128793
>People are stupid as fuck at 14. Hormones raging, body changing, he doesnt know who is or his role in the world and discovering the world outside of home. Just take a deep breath. Most teens grow oit of it. Some dont.

...are because they never receive an external reflection of their actions.

its not that they necessarily need consequences to their actions, but rather an immediate understanding of an objective view of what they have done.

Any effort to curb this behavior has to start with clearly defining what he's doing. He sounds like an intelligent shit who is used to twisting things to his advantage, especially words.

someone like that has a tough time when their behavior is defined objectively and then have to defend it.

>>18129072

I like how you presented what to do.

The brother is a mixture of the aforementioned intelligent shit, and a poster who fills threads with a large amount of images till they hit the limit; throwing out lots of random word fuckery till the conversation falls apart. He doesn't do the latter as often nowadays though. I will definitely try what you have suggested and see if it helps. Thanks.

>>18129025

I would take option 1 in a heartbeat, but I am now unable to do something like that without leaving a mark. Option 2 is something I could try, it just might take some time to assume that position firmly. Thank you for your advice.