For my b-day, b/f did nothing...

>>18128458
I personally think you are over reacting and putting too much thought into something that may be small. Instead of waiting for exciting conversations to just pop out of nowhere, spark them up yourself by perhaps taking him out somewhere or surprising him with something nice. All relationships get their stale patches and I'm sure this will blow over some day.
Also tits and timestamp or gtfo

He doesn't really give a shit. But you already know this.

It's time to just move on. If you drag it out you'll just waste your time and hurt yourself even more.

>>18128471
I'm well rounded, humorous, and our conversations are pretty good, but that's my charm that I attribute to myself more so than the other person.
I have taken him out to a number of nice and really cool places, he even acknowledge the good time.
Over reacting, sure. I can be very dramatic, that's why I'm giving it a few more goes, but if I do not feel different I'm going to have to move on.
"Tits and timestamp or gtfo" well, my time will run out and will be out of here soon ;-)


>>18128479
I'm a bit afraid and hesitant to come to that conclusion.
I like to consider myself a good judge of character, that's why I'm going to see it play out a couple more times with him.
However, I'm not ruling that one out. If I feel the same, then he does not care no matter what he says. I do look at the receipts.

>>18128458
Maybe he's just really low energy or sumn if you guys have been active recently. Kinda drained or whatev.. happens. Maybe he just wanted to chill with you and not think too much and it didn't cross his mind. If my gf (the one I don't have atm) forgot my birthday, I wouldn't hold it against her. I barely care about my own bday.. just an excuse to waste money really. Meh. Take it slow.

>>18128517
>I'm a bit afraid and hesitant to come to that conclusion.
Of course you are, because you're in it. Objectively, if he DID give a shit, there's no excuse for him to behave the way he did. He didn't forget about it, that would be one thing. But he remembered, and then kind of flaunted around the fact that, he remembered, he just doesn't really give enough of a fuck to make an effort to do anything about it. That's just not how you fucking do someone you love or at the very least, care about.

Open your eyes.

if it's not <21, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, etc your birthday doesn't matter beyond "oh, happy birthday"
be thankful for the flowers

>>18128537
what does "sumn" mean?

Also, when you do have a girlfriend and if you stated to her that you love her and that she is important, what would you do for her on her birthday? If you don't mind me asking.

Also, if your girlfriend (and if she claims to love you) did not do anything for your birthday, that would be disappointing and what's the point of even having a girlfriend? She should at least get you something you want and can use (like a cologne).

>>18128574
sumn = something

sorta like a country folk contraction.

>>18128544
Wow, you brought in a very good angle, he did flaunt around the fact that he remembered.
Ouch.

When he walked me to the train (he offered to pay for a cab to take me home, but I refused), he said to me that "I'm very important to him".
It was not at all comforting. I replied with a smile and said thank you.

I have to open my eyes. Not going to lie, when I do, it hurts.

>>18128553
this.
I'd be more worried if he didn't give a shit on your anniversary.
Plus he clearly cared, its just that he isn't good with presents and stuff, or he thinks that asking someone what they want as a present ruins the surprise of the present.

>>18128574
Sweetheart, look. I don't have a gf, so it's pointless to ask. I'd prefer a wife at this point frankly (I'm 31), to avoid trivial bickering like this.

If something is good, it's good no matter what people forget. He got you flowers, good people do that.. I would.

But here's a creepy thought for you to leave with. I went to a thrift store recently, and I saw a shirt I liked in the mens section, but it was a womens shirt, and all of a sudden I thought of a girl I had a crush on... I bought it. Yep. I bought the shirt, it was like $3 bucks, no big deal. I intend to approach this girl eventually, next year, when we meet again. If she likes me, I will gift it to her... and I'll pretend it wasn't even for her (unless she asks me bluntly). If she doesn't like me, I'll give it to her friend to gift it to her, and tell her not to say it was me. The shirt I felt, would look so adorable on her, that I immediate thought of her. It's a dark blue hue with little yellow flowers on it, and she has the most beautiful catlike bright blue eyes to go with it.

I'm pretty cheesy and romantic, but even I forget stuff, best thing to do though is simply make it up, better late than never. Never good to hold grudges though, forgive.

>>18128623
cont.

Your bf probably thought of you when he saw those flowers, same as i thought about my crush.

>>18128458
He may have been stupid about your birthday but you are WAY overreacting and being entitled.

>>18128606
I agree with this person. He definitely acknowledged it was your birthday, and cared that it was.
I think you are over reacting (which I realized you already said is entirely possible).
My advice, which may not work for you because people handle things differently.. But if I were in a similar situation.. I would be blunt about whatever is bothering me. I have come to realize that high expectations only end in let downs. He may not at all realize that he has done something to upset you, by not asking where you would like to go.
Just tell him. I wish there was a little bit more thought put into my birthday. Perhaps next year, if you are unsure, ask me what I would like as a gift or where to go. Most people cannot read minds and the small nuances that go on in your head will forever go unnoticed. Unless there has been more issues going on in your relationship.. I would consider it unwise to be reconsidering your relationship over this.

>>18128595
>he said to me that "I'm very important to him".
You're second fiddle and you know it.
He's really bad at hiding it.

Be grateful, he could be a really good liar and then you'd never know. I was with a guy like that, I didn't wake up until way, way later than I should have and I still regret being so naive.

>>18128653
Also just want to make another point, OP.

Ignore all these people in the thread telling you you are overreacting and being entitled, acting like you're whining because he forgot your birthday.

They can't read between the lines let alone even read your actual post. This isn't about your birthday it's about his attitude and how he treated you.

>"I'm very important to him".
Words are so fucking cheap. Did how he treated you on your birthday make you feel important? I would wipe my ass with "you're important to me" if I were you. You're not important to him. You have to look out for number one. So have some self-respect.

>>18128666
if words are cheap, than your's would be worthless. Op clearly has a over inflated sense of self worth. The boyfriend tried to do something for her birthday but she got bent because he didn't get her a gift, even though she had received a gift 2 days prior.

OP, what did you want for your birthday anyway?

>>18128694
see what I mean about clueless shitheads missing the point OP?

lol

>>18128701
you are the only person with this opinion that she isn't overreacting, you are just as silly as she is, if not more. People who dont give a shit dont want to take you out to dinner, let alone be with you on your birthday, or even acknowledge it. You are clearly inept with human contact.

>>18128717
>you are the only person with this opinion that she isn't overreacting
because i'm the only person actually analyzing what OP wrote and empathizing with what she is saying

there are a lot of posts on here that you see where it's some silly bitch whining about how her boyfriend didn't buy her whatever so she's annoyed

this isn't one of them.

> People who dont give a shit dont want to take you out to dinner, let alone be with you on your birthday, or even acknowledge it.
no, they don't actually give a shit, they just do the bear minimum to keep a nice place to park their dick for the night around while they reminisce (out loud) about better days with their ex in their 2 bedroom apartment (sound familiar OP?)

>>18128638
Entitled, I'm not making demands, I did not demand anything from him, nor would I ever talk to him (which is just a demand in a form of "talk it out" "tell him how much it hurts" "blah,blah,blah") about doing something for me. I more like to observe how things play out, see what initiative he takes, and if not to my expectation or standard, I will fade out. I'm not looking to change or mold anyone, personally I'd like someone already there. This is my first b-day with him, and really disappointed, considering the amount of flattery and romantic words he has said (I love you, you mean the world to me, I miss you, I cannot bear to not be with you), in this instance I did expect better.

>>18128606
>I'd be more worried if he didn't give a shit on your anniversary

If he did this on my birthday, could it be a precursor to what I should expect on my anniversary? We have been with each other for a little over two months. It's early in the stage and thus seeing what I should expect in the future.

>>18128623
It's not pointless to ask and you definitely should plan ahead for it, especially if you want to hit the ground running, which seems to be the case.
It was a nice read, very sweet. Thank you for sharing and all the best!

>>18128641
That's why I'm just going to take it really slow. Pull myself up, I've fallen a bit too much into him.
"Tell him about it" I get what you are saying; however, I feel it's not my place to change anyone or make demands in a passive way by telling him about it.
He is who he is, either I accept it or let it go and move on.

>>18128728
not him, but..

well... when you put it that way..

A lot of ppl talk about ex's though, not like they'll ever get back with them. maybe he's just not ready to date yet, but he's making the best effort possible within the limits of his depressing past getting in the way. maybe OP does deserve better.. maybe this guy just had one too many gf's and poor OP just happened to be another in line, so his emptiness is showing in the form of carelessness.. still trying if he gets her flowers though..

I dunno. trying to imagine good in the guy..

>>18128728
>because i'm the only person actually analyzing what OP wrote and empathizing with what she is saying
You are analyzing her feelings and trying to justify them in your own convoluted way. Everyone else has tried to answer objectively. OP has even admitted to being overly dramatic. It sounds a lot like someone hurt you so you think you and OP are in the same boat , so you can vent your frustration out in what you think is good advice.

>>18128699
I wanted the DYSON: Supersonic Hair Dryer or Dolce Gabanna perfume along with Urban Decay Eye make-up palette.

>>18128751
I'm analyzing what she has told about his behavior and the kinds of things he has said.

I'm pretty much ignoring her feelings entirely

>OP has even admitted to being overly dramatic
So are OP's feelings unreliable or not? Or are they only reliable when you happen to agree with her?. You're not being "objective" either idiot.

>>18128746
>A lot of ppl talk about ex's though
yeah but not 2 months into a relationship.

at this point you should both be trying to make the best impression for each other. it already sounds like he's checked out or never really checked in in the first place. i mean this is a new relationship you would think it would be preoccupying his thoughts. why the FUCK would he be talking to you about his ex?

i think you're a rebound relationship and yeah he just, isn't really into you. the good news is it's only been 2 months. easy come easy go.

>>18128738
>goes out of his way to say and do things to show his appreciation and "love" for you
>Get real upset the one time he falls short
This is entitlement. You gotta admit he at least noticed he did something wrong and tried to fix it when he offered you to take you to dinner.

>>18128623

Playing second fiddle to who? Please, tell me what you think...

When he told me that "I'm important to him". Well, it's just words and it fluttered in the breeze.

Check this out, he sent me a text on Monday stating the following:
"Well i am going to finish the vodka tonight... tired of reading... and noone here to hug or kiss... I cry"

Read closely, he did not state "you are not here to hug or kiss" but "noone here"
Do you get this? Like he just wanted someone there, no particularly me.

"I cry... " what does he have to cry about? I'm the one that should be crying, left stranded.

Honestly, I was for a moment when I hid myself under his covers and fell asleep.

also i'm not saying necessarily this guy is a bad guy

not giving much a fuck can't really be helped. if you don't, you don't. but it doesn't help anyone i OP's situation to delude themselves and continue to let themselves be treated in a way they don't like

life's too short to put up with shit like this

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>>18128754
Sounds expensive.

>>18128767
he's not over his ex and you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time and got caught up in his grieving process or something

>>18128728
I'm reading what you have to write and it's smart. It's harsh, but the truth will set me free. I need some faith in myself more so than respect.

Sometimes the attitude of just "accepting" should not be used so frequently, but we should treat one another better, with appreciation. Always try to be better than before and not settling for less.

With respects to "parking his d.ck", I did not have sex with him that day and will not have sex with him for the next meet ups, if we do come to that point. That's why I feel he was so readily to let me go that night.

>>18128767
...a part of me wants to give you a short answer. and another, a really long complex one as a response..

the short answer "that's what ex gf's turn guys into".

the long answer, his wording is indirect and doesn't include you almost as if he sees you as a close friend rather than a gf.. in his mind, he knows you are, but perhaps he just feels disconnected..

I tell ppl all the time here on adv, that the things we do out of desperation, are usually the things that backfire on us the most.. sometimes it can be establishing a relationship prematurely, sometimes it's speaking too soon without enough evidence...

I dunno this guy, and although I get an empty feeling from him as you talk about him, I don't truly know his spiritual thirst.. what he's REALLY going through..

>>18128756
>He got me flowers
>He wanted to take me to dinner
>He gave me the keys to his apartment
>He puts the effort into to see me
>Tells me he loves me a lot
Looked right past those parts, didnt ya?
OP talks so highly of herself (I.E "I'm a very entertaining and great company." , "I'm well rounded, humorous, and our conversations are pretty good, but that's my charm that I attribute to myself more so than the other person." , "I like to consider myself a good judge of character."). doesn't seem to make op reliable at all.

>>18128738
>>18128641
I understand what you are saying. I did not mean it in a sense of tell him how to behave or what to do. In my opinion, telling someone that something bothers you or that you have a preference, is not telling them what to do.
Mainly, what I was trying to say, was that I don't think it is wise to cold shoulder him over this. Minimal responses will imply to him that something is wrong.. It may be advisable that if you are not wanting to talk about it, to just forget about it and get over it.
Perhaps my impression of the situation is wrong. If you are not giving him some cold shoulder, ignore me altogether.
But if you are, it's probably best to stop. I find cold shouldering far more passive aggressive than talking to someone and informing them that they did something you did not like.

>>18128790
So OP is correct when she says she's being overly dramatic and you cite that as evidence to support your opinion, but, when she says she's humorous and good company, suddenly she's a silly and conceited. Interesting. It's almost like her feelings are only reliable when they align with your bias. How fascinating.

>>18128787
sorry if i'm being too harsh. that "parking dick" thing, i admit I totally bullshitted that since I have no idea obviously what your sex life is like but, i mean it's a common scenario. you see guys on this board all the time talking about treating their gfs that way. so that's what i mean about, trying not to be naive. even though i'm sure you're looking for any way to make it work (because you obviously liked him and want the relationship to work) but you have to draw the line somewhere of what's acceptable to you and what isn't. don't be a doormat.

the thing about relationships is, don't give anything you are not getting back in return. that's how you let yourself get used. it can't just be one person emotionally invested in it. so, think of yourself too. protect yourself, emotionally, psychologically. that's my advice.

>>18128792
Giving him the cold shoulder is a form of passive aggression, that's true.

I told myself that I would not reach out to him in texts, but only reply just to be polite and to take things slow.

I have not been given the opportunity to give him the cold shoulder though.

He did not text me yesterday until 10:30.
His texts today were minimal, I responded, nothing to heavy, kept it light short and sweet.

>>18128797
bias? You are just throwing logical fallacies around! You haven't backed up your argument with any facts, and stated that everyone but you has a stupid opinion. You are just appealing to emotion. I am not wrong to state that OP is being over dramtic when she herself has said it, and i am not wrong to assume that OP has a ego when she has to build herself up to a bunch of strangers.

>>18128810
blabbermouth here but i just want to say

i don't think you're dong the right thing by just being cold and curt and essentially, giving the cold shoulder while things "play out"

you should tell him the issues you have and explain why you feel the way you do. see his reaction and go from there. but it's like, this relationship is only 2 months old so i would really have the expectation that he would be willing to have a heart to heart about the "state of the relationship" this early on. i think you just need to try to call his bluff, essentially.

>>18128814
You know what, I would like to reform my opinion after re-reading all of OP's posts

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I recently went through something similar with my boyfriend (him not acknowledging my birthday as much as I'd liked/hoped)
I know that however similar, our situations still have differences, but I just wanted to tell you it's nitpicking and score keeping. God knows I needed someone to tell me the same before I escalated it into a stupid issue. I eventually realized how bitchy and entitled I sounded and am ashamed of how I acted towards him. It's resolved now, but I definitely did some damage to the relationship.

Of course there is a good amount of projecting in what I'm saying, but I hope you don't make the same mistakes I did.
In your post, I hear a lot of the same things I thought at the time, and I am cringing. Everyone here is absolutely telling you like it is- you're being entitled. Please listen without taking offense.

He did do something for you. Maybe flowers aren't ideal, but it's something.

>>18128814
>>18128814
Well I'm seeking advice from "strangers", who I find give some of the best, it's raw. I was not trying to build myself up, but being very matter-of-fact and revealing myself. Difference.

>>18128828
Ya there is, if you were revealing yourself, you would be answering their questions about your character. But people just answered your question, and you are trying to build up your image so you dont seem at fault for this. I dont think you are entitled anymore from the responses you've given, i think you are more of a romantic.

>>18128820
I do not find what you have written to be blabbering at all, the contrary. I'm very much listening.

Call his bluff? What do you mean? What could he be bluffing about?

>>18128901
just a figure of speech. i guess what I mean is for you to put your cards on the table (another idiom, sorry). if you feel he's not treating you well, tell him and tell him why. tell him it bothers you that he's always talking about his ex. tell him that you think he's just keeping you around because he has nothing better going on. tell him the stuff you said in your post and make him answer for it.

tell your side of the story and then get his side, essentially. and you will be in a much better position to understand the situation and make a decision.

you're asking us but ultimately, the person to talk to is him.

>>18128804
your advice has been really good, really lucked out. Thank you. Of course I like it to work, but I have cut it off with guys before that I have liked very much so, even loved. I was scared and so unsure, but I held strong and looking back it was for the better. So I can do it again if needed, it's not something I like to though. It made me physically sick when I did it...

>>18128839
Romantic, probably. If so, a hopeless romantic.
What I've written about myself is not something I came up with, but is what others have said about me. Just relaying it. Why? Well, just to convey that I'm not a bore who needs someone to "entertain" or "liven" me up. Case-in-point, the first response was along those lines.

Anyway, just curious and a little off subject, what's wrong with someone "trying to build" them self up? You make it sound like its a bad thing or something to frown upon?