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Been living w/ my bf almost 3 yrs. Don't know what I'm more sick of, being angry together or sad apart. I'm living far from home. Don't even have a means of transportation, let alone friends nearby to blow off some steam w/ or clear my head. I'm big on friendship/companionship, so it sucks being stranded like this. Whenever I want to do anything outside of the house w/ bf, suddenly he's too anxious to go anywhere, but constantly getting caught up w/ friends while I'm not around or available. I know everyone needs alone time, but sometimes it seems as if I'm fighting for us while he only fights for his own gain. He's not a cheater, but he does have a bad drug problem. He's unemployed, has been for a long time, I'm going broke trying to keep us both afloat. I have a hectic schedule, & when my free time comes around he spoils a good time w/ his piss poor attitude. My health's declining too & this stress can't be helping it one bit. He's an ungrateful piece of shit. I don't want revenge so much as I want to leave this place & never look back. I've spoken to everyone imaginable for help. I don't make a ton of $ so I'm not sure where I could go. My only choice is saving up over a period of time, while still having to tolerate this guy going ballistic on me and going through mood swings when he's sober and having no way of getting away from him even for a little while. He's abusive, selfish & manipulative. One day he hates me, the next he's sorry & he'll never do it again. His family doesn't give a shit about it & the fact that he has yet to outgrow this bullshit will be my demise if I never leave him. Wish I knew this about him before getting attached. I hate that caring makes me weak even though I have to be strong enough for the both of us. What would some of you do between a rock and a hard place like this? Please show some mercy, I'm in a vulnerable position in more ways than I can even say here. I feel very lost and need to regain my footing somehow. (Pic related)
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You haven't made it very clear what exactly is stopping you from leaving. Do you still have remnants of care left for this guy? If you can't identify why you do, then please, go ahead with your plans before spending more time with him makes it more difficult to do so.
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>>18127608
Limited resources, no car, not a ton of money for first, last and security. Paying my way through school and not getting any financial help even from him. Thus the fact I need to wait it out before I can go anywhere. I am unable to do anything immediate and it's driving me insane.
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>>18127595
what about your family?
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>>18127595
I can't feel sorry for you, since you don't live in Syria or Venezuela or Russia, or some other shithole part of the world.
Leave. Go to the police station and get some help. Drop out of school. You can always go back. Are you blind? Are you deaf of hearing? Ar eyou physically disabled in some way?
WHAT.ABOUT.YOUR.FAMILY.
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>>18127595
This is why sometimes I hate people like you, because, in the end, when you look at it all objectively, and consider everything, YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THAT SITUATION.
ANd you know what the sad thing is? That there's a 99% chance that the next guy you end up with will be EXACTLY the same as this guy.
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OP, you need to find an objective viewpoint. Someone you trust. Hell, talk to family. Even if you don't get along extremely well with them, it's hard NOT to empathize.
Secondly, from what it sounds like, there is no chance this situation will improve. You have attached yourself to a worthless parasite.
If you need to get used to the thought of removing yourself from this situation, start thinking about proactively. Imagining how you might start this conversation. What he would say in response. What your rebuttal would be. Think about different ways to tell him. So on and so forth. The more time and energy you invest into removing that fucking leech, the less it'll hurt when it does finally happen.
And make no mistake OP, it will happen. It just depends how badly you want to get burned before you do go.
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Do you work?
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