Can someone explain this to me?

Masturbate more.

>>18127188
can't fap anymore dude, my cock is broken.

>>18127194
What are the chances that you act on these "fantasies"?

Is it something you're unable to tear your mind away from? If it's the latter, that's a common symptom of OCD. Having obsessive, intrusive thoughts that you can't tear your mind away from and that may be distressing to you.

I really suggest getting professional help because they can help you manage these thoughts and feelings and learn to control them to an extent. Just be careful when first bringing it up to a professional, make it clear the thoughts are intrusive and bother you, that you don't plan to act on them, and only talk about that stuff once you trust them and their competency as a medical professional to differentiate between distressing thoughts you can't control and a plan to kill someone.

>>18127200
very slim, tjoug I must admit I have incredible resentment towards women
>>18127203
It really is intrusive thoughts. I had a long distance relationship with someone. I loved her like no one else but when I got to bed and kept thinking about her the warm fuzzies would trun into violence. I had to quit drinking because it would carry over to speech and couldn't control my violent rhetoric.

I don't wanna harm anybody but I'm also filled with rage. I don't know what to do.

>>18127210
I think you should really see a psychologist, this is not normal and you sound incredibly dangerous.

>>18127210
It really probably is OCD. Do you have these thoughts with anything else? Intrusive thoughts about sex acts you don't find arousing, intrusive thoughts about anything really- those are just the two most well known examples of intrusive thoughts since they're typically the most distressing, violent or sexual acts.

The rage and resentment sound like a separate issue. I don't know whether or not that would make you more likely to put someone in danger, but you'll have to consider how you tell a psychologist that and when you do. I don't think it's good to tell them "I have violent thoughts of harming people and I have severe, blinding rage". Obviously that'll risk getting you committed. I would suggest going to a professional, getting help for whichever is more of an issue first, and slowly easing into the other after it's become apparent that you're more or less harmless and you trust them enough to believe they'll know the difference between you and a future serial killer.

I really do strongly recommend you get help. It'll be really beneficial and you might not even have to live with those thoughts anymore. I don't know if that's possible for sure, but it's worth a shot.

>>18127228
I had an appointment with a social worker. She was female and I had a burst of rage. I didn't hurt anybody. But she saw the resentment I had against women. So she gave an appointment to see a psychologist. After 8 meetings with the guy he refused to adress that altogether and just told me to go out there and find a job.

I don't wanna hurt anyone but my friends and family are starting to be scared. The more I try to ignore it the more it just gets through.

>>18127248
I'm suggesting you shop around for a psychologist or psychiatrist and find one you gel with. Not find a shitty one a social worker recommended who may or may not have any good qualifications and at the very least clearly wasn't for you or willing to address the problems you wanted to address. It's like going for a doctor, you don't pick the one who makes you uncomfortable, who writes off your concerns, and who never bothers to explain the side effects to you even when you ask. You find the one you feel comfortable with and who you feel is competent at their job.

>>18127285
hopefully I can find that. It'll probably require some expenses and driving a couple hundred miles every time.

>>18127286
Look around online first to see what's available in your area and if there are any people you think would be especially good. You can also ask your GP for recommendations if you trust him.

In the mean time until you find someone right for you, you can try out some self-CBT resources. Here's an example of one to get you started but there should be a lot more out there.
https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/ocd.htm
Good luck.

>>18127291
hopefully I can find something.

Maybe it's why I had so much trouble with women. Or at least part of the reason. Even if don't make it apparent girls can feel it which leads to rejection and hence more anger.

Sometimes I lose and I start say things like
>Women are cruel and enjoy seeing me suffer. The more I suffer the more they laugh and they know If I get violent they send me in jail so they can abuse me as much as they want. Because it's funny.

...anyway, I don't wanna hurt people. I want to meet a girl who'll understand me and with whom I'll be able to cuddle.

>>18127228
I thought about OCD and it might be it. I have intrusive thoughts about doing mean things at times where I should be happy. Like just now I saw the frying pan on the stove with good food in it. I saw my self throwing it on the ground.

Also I overthink a lot so I end up rehearsing and planning every social interaction I plan to have in my head.

Still concerned about my hatred of women and bursts of anger.

>>18127315
You admitted to having hateful or even violent thoughts about women, but you want one to risk harm and give you a chance in the hope that if they're your gf, it'll be different for them?
Guys like you don't need a gf to 'fix' them, they need therapy

>>18127315
Think about it this way.
Is it okay for a girl to be in a relationship with a raging alcoholic who repeatedly got on the verge of physically abusing them?
You sound like you need to be on some serious medication.
You should probably go straight to the ER and tell them about what is going on before you hurt somebody. Regardless if that is what you want or not.