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Anonymous
Coping with the Machinations of a Sociopath 2017-03-14 07:52:22 Post No. 18126459
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Coping with the Machinations of a Sociopath 2017-03-14 07:52:22 Post No. 18126459
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Coping with the Machinations of a Sociopath
Anonymous
2017-03-14 07:52:22
Post No. 18126459
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The full story is pretty long so I'll try to keep only the important details. It starts out innocently enough.
A friend of mine introduces me to a friend of his. She and I get along great and we go out for dinner, easily the best date I've ever been on. A few weeks later, she ghosts me, mutual friend tells me he doesn't really know what's going on with her but she's probably getting serious with another friend of his she's been pining after (I hadn't asked him about her he'd told me out of the blue). I made my peace with it and moved on.
Through a series of freaky coincidences, she and I end up reconnecting weeks later, and I learn, slowly, that our mutual friend had been manipulating and lying to both of us the entire time. What we both thought was an innocent set-up was actually this sociopath using me to draw this girl in, so he could then manipulate her into seeing a weak-minded friend (gentle guy, severe depression and massive insecurities. I liked him until it was evident he knew what was going on) of his with the intention of, in case his own relationship failed, swooping in on her and impregnating her so she wouldn't leave him.
Incredibly fucked up, and pretty insane, pieced it together slowly and with the help of a lot of people, including my therapist. It was difficult to get through let alone convince her what was going on and to get away from it, but it worked out. That sociopath and his friend are out of both of our lives.
What I'm having trouble dealing with is the damage done to my relationship with this girl. I think she's a beautiful person and I wish we'd gotten to know each other under better circumstances, but the last time we talked we projected a lot of the damage done onto one another. It's been about two months but she's on my mind often. We've had a few pleasant conversations since, when bumping into each other.
What can I do to put all of this behind me? I feel like I've nearly lost myself and miss her.
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>>18126459
So this guy gets you and a girl to go on a date so he could get the girl to downgrade to a more pathetic guy so he can cuck the pathetic guy easily.
Am I getting this right?
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Saved
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>>18126483
Yeah that's it in a nutshell.
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>>18126459
>What can I do to put all of this behind me? I feel like I've nearly lost myself and miss her.
Getting mixed signals here. Do you want to put this behind you, or do you want to reconnect with her? If the former, see other people. If the latter, ask her out. I'm sorry you were put through that freaky situation, but the solution is this simple.
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>>18127462
I have mixed feelings. There were a lot of blurred lines between us. I think I just want us to start fresh and genuinely get to now each other with room for further development. I don't want to be too direct and ask her out because I don't know how severely she's been lied to about me.
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>>18127599
Just hang out with her more, reach out top her. Stop beating around the Bush. You can't control what she's going to think.
Also, find another psychopath to get back at the first guy
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>>18127599
Tell her exactly that. Tell her you want to know her and start fresh. Maybe make it into a proper cutesy date, where you introduce yourselves to each other as if you didn't know a thing. Make it completely honest and transparent. You could both have fun, if you play along it'll disconnect you from this wicked past and maybe it'll click between you even without machinations.
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>>18127800
>>18128201
You're both right, being direct and honest is the best way to go about it. I think with her I'm going to be a lot more sensitive to rejection but ah well.
As for revenge, that sociopath is without friends and hated by enough people that, short of pummeling him physically, I don't think there's anything left to do.
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>>18128687
Revenge is never a solution. Think about it like that: the sociopath can't help it. You should pity him, you are above him, anyway. What's left for him in the end, but the crazy emptiness he feels inside, which is the only thing he can feel?
Forgive him internally and move on, but don't forget. And don't let him into your life again.
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