I hate my life

>>18125135

take a small vacation, even if its just staying with some friend for a few days. get out of the house, stop worrying about what needs to be done, and allow your brain at least 2 days to reboot itself.

then go home, and start applying for new jobs. once you have new job, plan your move.

Obviously moving out, for starters. One major burden less in your life. I don't think you fully grasp how damaging a toxic environment actually can be. So, cut ties with you parents now, and think how to handle your problwms later. You have a job, so at least you are able to finance yourself.

>>18125160
That's actually a pretty good idea, I had forgotten about vacations completely. Maybe if I take a one and just be alone for a while, I might like it and move out like >>18125168 says.

>>18125168
I don't have friends though. I don't have any social contact except for my family, so I'm afraid that moving out will make me lonely to the point of severe depression. Is 4chan enough for socialization?

Thanks anons. I'm hoping for more answers but you've given me something to think about.

>>18125135
sounds exactly like me the last few years, and since u are not willing to walk away from your life, which is the one making u "unhappy" then i suggest whats been helping me this last year: weed.

I couldn't have envisioned being this OK with myself withouth the chemical help for my faulty brain. Because the only reason all of us are so neurotical and deppressiv and shit is just serotonin, endorphins and comorbidity.

So your brain makes u deppressive to start, from min 1 u look at the world thru a sad glass, and then u repeat doing things u dislike over and over again paired with ur natural shit state so they keep feeding each other to no end.

Weed helped me with the chemical part,i guess now in somewhat manic phase so still cant tell how well i am truly, but when im not lookin at it with a sad-SUPERHIGH insecure-fear-anxiety i can take a step back and just realize i need to do things i like and i want to do, cos life is not gonna change tomorrow or 20 years from now, we are "adults" this is it, this is life, u keep doing the same thing i appointed u wont stop feeling that way cos u teach ur sad body to be more sad with the conducts u seem to repeat over and over in a vicious cycle.
weed did that for me, or is doing it right now, but i suggest u go to a psychiatrist, but pls a pshychiatrist, i could've had a psichology degree and i can tell u that 80% chances are u gonna get some1 who doesnt know shit and just tells u wikipedia shit.
Go to a doctor, who knows biology, chemistry and knows how to structure ur life the way i said so u can start doing thinsngs that will make u feel good. GOOD, not sad all the time, not in ur head like crazy going over 100000 irrelevant stuff . He will give u some shit to raise brain stuff lvls to normal person, then u follow a routine of good diet, cos the chemicals of the food also bring ur happy lvls(the serotonine etc down), like gluten was doing for me for example, and doing stuff u FEEL LIKE doing.

vacation will distract u from those problems, u need to fix the root, which is my post above IMO, vacations is a good start to bring u into good mood to start gettin better but dont just go 2 weeks, get back be sad 9 months, rinse and repeat, u dont need a placebo to TOLERATE living a life that makes u unhappy, just do somehitng that helps u be ok with urself, cos not any other thing in the world matters, be ok with urself. Dont lock down in ur head and hide with vacations, blaming others, drug abuse(which is different than the use i suggest with weed/medication) etc.

Wish u the best op.

>>18125168
this would be one of my first things to do, but he said in the op he didnt want to walk out.......

How old are you? Do you have a savings account? Start saving and planning for your future anon, being surrounded by shit you hate will only make your hateful. You could either get a better paying job or pick up a second one. Sacrifices will have to be made.

I'm in pretty much the same boat, OP. Stuck with a toxic family and younger siblings so I can't really act my age. I haven't started community college because I'd just end up stuck at home even longer which I can't stand. Pair that with a community that people my age are leaving in droves...

I'm trying not to buy stuff while I cut down on belongings so it'll be easier to leave things behind and know what the essentials are. I don't have a car though so with what little money I have I'm thinking I move closer to a city (I'm kinda rural) and commute on a bicycle if I can find a job.

For what it's worth, I've been taking vitamin D3 and 5HTP. I don't know whether it's placebo or not but I feel like it has helped calm me down a little, or at least make me more stable and be productive. I've been able to work on some projects I kept pushing aside. My mood is generally more positive.

>>18125526
great job man, try to use the medication responsibly!!
Take into consideration that if u exploit them, you will lose the effect they have on you and you will need way stronger drugs to make you ok.
Keep it up! Im exactly the same, for the first time in YEARS im starting projects and im super excited for them.....feels so weird im even afraid of it haha

>>18125135
Move out
send out applications for a new job
ask your parents if they can keep your stuff somewhere. If you're hoarding, then throw shit away
set daily goals/install StayFocusd
meditate, so your mind isn't so fucked up with your thoughts

Bumping so I can respond before thread dies

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>>18125248
>Is 4chan enough for socialization?
No virtual form of socialization comes close enough to personal contact.

Other than that; let me get this straight: you live with your parents you don't like, already feel like shit, and you don't want to change jackshit because you have people around you don't like but provide "company". You have no friends now and won't have any if you're a miserable piece of shit forever. Being on your own strengthens and forms your character. Without anyone disturbing you, you have a lot of time for introspection and see how you can improve your life. Never ever disregard loneliness.

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>>18125445
Tough shit, but he has to. If he cannot see the bigger picture then he can kill himself already. No point in breathing to death.

Replying in batches.

>>18125431
Weed or any substance is not an option. I would be relying on the stuff to fix my largely external problems, which it won't, it will only help while I'm using. Also my parents are extremely against it so who fucking knows what they'd do if they found out.

>>18125437
A vacation alone would allow me to find out what it's like to not be around my family. It would just be a few days and if it goes ok then I know that I can live on my own just fine.

>>18125135
Your problems are easily fixable as you have a job already.

Listen op. You need to disappear. Literally. Disappear.

Move someplace else. Simplify. Take the burdens that are absolutely essential and leave fuck else.

Simplify simplify simplify

>>18125482
22.
No but I have 1000 bucks left that I didn't spend on my bank account.

I know I should move out, it's probably the only thing that will save me.

>>18125526
You're just like me, except I dropped out because I didn't wanna rely on my parents' money any longer and give them more opportunities to control me. I also just started taking vitamin D but I have yet to notice any effect. My personal projects are non existent because of all the stress.

>>18126396
Wow yeah I suppose you're right. I already feel like shit and it's becoming worse every day. I got nothing to lose. I know you are absolutely right but it's that nagging paranoia that keeps me from acting.

>>18126399
True words but hard to execute desu. One needs to get over the mental barrier.

>>18126487
I'm already throwing/giving away shit I don't need but I'm hesitant about stuff that takes up a lot of space like 2 special edition consoles, laptop box that's needed in case of warranty, TV, and another bunch of stuff that I don't just wanna throw away.

>>18126534
>My personal projects are non existent because of all the stress.
Starting small helps. Completing multiple small easy tasks feels better than putting off one big task. I do this a lot for projects and other things I have to get done. I do a little at a time and eventually I get caught up and work waaay longer, feels pretty good too when I have something to show for the time spent.
>>18126944
>and another bunch of stuff that I don't just wanna throw away.
Consider selling? At least with things that'll become outdated while stored away like the TV, which can be replaced. Maybe your parents will be OK with leaving the consoles somewhere out of the way. Just make it clear on the box it's not for selling if they're those kind of parents.

Grow the fuck up and get the fuck out if its so bad.

It's not like you can't get more shit when you're older dude.

If living at home is bothering you so much, man up and get out.

If you hate your job, get a new one.

this isn't hard man.

>>18127160
>Consider selling?
I'm talking more about things that are special edition or old stuff that's really nostalgic to me. I'd hate to leave/toss the TV because it's useful (small but still).

I can't really leave things with my parents since they refuse to let me leave , so if I bail they might not let me back in or they could destroy my shit or something.

>>18127267
It is hard because it's a mental hurdle that seems more like a giant wall to me. I just can't imagine living alone for the simple reason that I might end up around sketchy people, or I might lose my job and be utterly fucked. I know what I should do, and I know it's the only option, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

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>>18126944
I'm >>18126396 and >>18126399, OP.

Believe me, there's no real mental barrier per se in your case. This is one vicious circle you're in, and the only way to break free from it is through swallowing the (supposedly) bitter pill, or better: jumping into the cold water. No matter how much you despise or are afraid of the idea, there's no small step program for that. Search a place, find it, sign the contract and get the fuck out.

I'd probably kill to have a job right now, because I also live in a toxic family. Searching for over two years now for an apprenticeship in a white-collar job, so I don't have to work like a slogger for little money - only to get from one shithole into the other.

If I have the edge for the past two years, than you have it too for moving out. Don't be a fucking pussy, you can pity yourself in your own four walls later.

PS: Think of your future stable mind, then you can finally swim in the dating pool without worrying about yourself too much.

>>18127726
You're right man. I'm gonna clean up all the shit that I don't need, and then I'll tell my parents that I'm gonna move out. I hope they don't do anything extreme, I really do. Finally having the opportunity to socialize like a normal person will be a big plus as well.

Thanks for the advice. I hope you can get out soon as well, so you can live your life the way you want to. Good luck.