My past, and what to do with it.

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Part 2 here.

> Work ends and I move away from creepy bastard.
> Still fucked up about it though, the fact that I CHOSE to be an animal like him, that it was so quick and easy to turn into whatever that was.
> Spend summer gaining weight, not interested in girls like I used to be, totally hating myself.
> Self hatred caused me to drink a shit ton during senior year, get a strong psychological dependence of it.
> Also give near zero shits at school or about future.
> Too ashamed to tell parents or any school counselor. Only a handful of school friends know my story.
> Finally tell people what happened to me, they forgive me. I stop drinking for good.
> Start gap year, and while my family forgives and loves me, I still despise myself.
> Do missions/humanitarian work, go from a boy to a man.
> Begin to forgive myself, have actual confidence, and friends I can really trust.
> I feel okay telling people what happened, and how I got out of it.
> normiegetoutreeeeee.avi
> Be now.
> Back at home, waiting for college apps to come in, jobs etc.
> My life seems to be going places, but this shit still pops up in my head from time to time. Still hurts.
> Still don't like what I did, and what everyone around me is apparently capable of becoming.

My final and true question is: Is this normal, after all I've seen and done, to still feel the hurt this caused me? Do I ever get over it? Or should I just get over myself?

tldr nothing happened

great story anon, what the fuck are you even complaining about?

>>18124409
It's called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

A soldier doesn't have to have been in actual combat to be shaken by the danger of it, and you don't actually have to have been abused or murderous to be legitimately shaken by being so close to the edge.

Right now you are more disturbed by feeling guilty about having been traumatized than by the memories of the traumas themselves. You feel you're weak for not having taken it all in stride.

But it WAS a big deal, and there's nothing weak about being affected by it.

You might benefit from a little short-term therapy, just to help you forgive yourself for something that needs no forgiveness.

>>18124409
God you sound 13 holy shit

Just tell him to fuck off

>>18124419
I think you should talk to someone about this. Someone you trust. Like a parent or a sibling.

Would you feel comfortable with seeking psychiatric help? I would really recommend it. And yes you can recover from this if you seek help.


>>18124507
We can offer advice but hold off diagnosing someone over the Internet. He could have a ton of others psychiatric problems.

>>18124507
it's called, don't grow up to be a pussy needy bitch

in life you're going to be put in a lot of different, strange, weird situations, and they're going to have absolutely no impact in your life if you don't let them.

right now, you're feeling a case of the facebook anxiety/depression symptoms that everyone keeps sharing and reposting. you fee that the situation actually mattered

it wasn't a big deal, and there's nothing at all to even bring up after the situation has been dead and buried.

you might benefit from living life outside of your exclusive shut in bubble, and maybe next time try to actually pull the trigger instead of closing yourself off into being a little bitch boy.

literally nothing happened, and you also literaly did nothing about it.

why don't you actually do something, and not sit at an advice internet board and weep about some irrelevant shit


I'm sure if you saw a doctor, or went to a therapist, you'd be prescribed xanax and bi-weekly appointments though for the excessive trauma you just endured.