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Anonymous
Should I ever get married/be in a relationship or be alone? 2017-03-13 05:01:59 Post No.
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Should I ever get married/be in a relationship or be alone? 2017-03-13 05:01:59 Post No.
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Should I ever get married/be in a relationship or be alone?
Anonymous
2017-03-13 05:01:59
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It might sound like an easy question, but it isn't. I've been split for the longest time on whether I should ever have a relationship or not, or even if I should have children.
The reason is because my father was a mentally ill person, though functional enough, me being alive and functional is a miracle on its own. The fact the guy ever managed to make children is yet another miracle.
It doesn't come without its problems. There's something very bad in my genes which I only manage to control because my mother is a very good person. I believe I'm a good person because I have a lot of her in me.
Once again, myself being alive came with the price of how functional I am. I'm in college right now, which is a good proof of functionality, but I have very bad spatial awareness, I can't drive well, anything mechanical or where I'd have to manually work with something I usually mess up at first, and I have a lot of issues when it comes to relationships and people.
There's a lot in me that I don't want to pass to somebody else. A part of me don't want to have children for he sake of the child having my blood. My father was in a coma for the longest period due to his illness, and even though that hasn't happened to me, or anything really bad has, it's still in my genes and could be worse to my child. My child could grow to have schizophrenia, or other horrible mental illness which I didn't have (nor my dad), but that's where lightning stroke them same spot twice and I'm not counting on a third time.
Another part of me don't want to be alone and there's the issue that my mother wants grandchildren from me, which isn't easy either.
I think not having a child given all the issues she would have plus my incompetence on being able to make her happy would be the most selfless thing to do.
On the other hand, ignoring all that and bringing a child to the world without the problems in my blood would be bowing down to my ego instead of letting go.
What should I do? What would you do?
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>>18123418
Hello Anon. Sounds like you've got heavy stuff on your mind. It's not stupid to ask yourself these questions. Getting into a relationship and bringing another human life into the world is serious shit not to be taken lightly. Its good you recognize this already. Personally, I've always wanted to adopt children someday. I too have wondered about passing down my crappy genes to a biological child and not wanting that. Plus, I just think it's redundant to make another child when there are so many in the world already who need a home. Also, I've chosen adoption since most of the women in my family have almost died from giving birth.
The choice is up to you. Are you willing to work on yourself and take risks being in a relationship and raising a child, be it your biological or adopted child?
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How old are you anon?
Maybe you should avoid the ultimatums and leave things open for development.
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>>18123418
I wouldn't waste time thinking about it. Each relationship you have will change how you view things. You might decide you don't want marriage or kids then find someone you love more than anything will want them. Or in my situation you think you want them, and then are with someone who makes you question why and what's the point lol so yeah. Don't get too hung up on it
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