ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender

both
if a girl constantly dyes her hair, what does that mean to you?
is it a red flag or is it normal?

>>18123387
1) It's just her style, she's a quirky manic pixie dream girl type and she's looking for someone who can handle her erratic moods
2) She's insecure and tries to make up for her face or body or personality with ~*special*~ hair

>>18123387
Make your own thread, this a poor and thinly veiled non gender specific question.

Both: Would you rather your SO tell you they cheated on you IMMEDIATELY after it happened, find out through the grapevine or never hear about it?

>>18123387
>>18123391
>both
so literally a question for anybody, not just the opposite sex?
get out.

Girls

What do you think of guys who constantly jerk off and look at porn?

>>18123398
Kind of sad. How did he get that way. Won't ever date someone like that b/c our sex drives probably wont match.

How many of you girls have fantasies of being fucked by lots of guys at the same time? I'm genuinely curious. I want to find out if it's as common as dudes who want sleep with two or more women at the same time.

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>>18123391
I rather them tell me immediately after or at the very least through the grapevine. No way would I like being decieved, and used all while contracting STDs.

Females: regarding orgasms which are more satisfying, clit stimulation via rubbing or vaginal penetration . I am not a creep.

>>18123398
I think creep. Dumped a guy for being a porn addict. Its unnattractive and says a lot about a guy

>>18123408
Rubbing.
>>18123407
I have

>>18123407
I do, but I would absolutely never do it in real-life due to monogamous relationship and fear of STDs

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>>18123409
I'm actually a girl senpai

>>18123390
>>18123397
Get 'em, finally, a proper thread sheriff.

Girls, what's going on here:
Female coworker likes to text me inane bullshit at weird hours, but takes hours to respond if I decide to respond. She also goes out of her way to have conversation with me or make sure I see her at work/social functions, but if I actually hang around her, she's anxious as hell. I've shot her down before and I don't date coworkers.

Girls, am I wrong in my thoughts on texting?

Whenever im talking to someone relatively new, I prefer not to text them regularly throughout the day, it feels like exacerbated small talk.

However, the last few girls that I've tried to talk to expected something like this.

The only people I regularly message throughout the day are my best friends, since they're the only ones I have enough rapport or "stuff" to talk about that frequently with.

Am I crazy? Do I just need to git gud at conversation? In person with these girls I'm just fine, its outside of that where my issue lay.

What do if ugly

>>18123430
be really interesting as a person and confident. im a girl and to me intellect > face unless you are like 3/10

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>>18123433
I always get skipped on soc, and have no irl friends, I'm just going to become a hikki

>>18123398
i mean, if its mostly his sex drive aka not an addiction to porn and he replaced most of it with just doing it with me id love it.

Girls: can I get a ranking on which hair colors are the most attractive?

>>18123452
>both
>>>out

>>18123454
doesn't fucking matter as long as you wash your hair and it's styled nicely.

>>18123454
Brown=Ginger>Black>Blonde

>>18123452
>non gender specific question
Make your own thread. This isn't a QTDDTOT.

>>18123454
Anything but ginger

>>18123454
For me:
Dark hair>brown hair>white blonde>redhead>regular blond

>>18123409
Might be because you couldn't compete with the pornstars he was looking at.

Girls

Do you feel more comfortable giving your number or your facebook?

>>18123481
To who? A random person?

>>18123481
If I'm comfortable enough to give my personal details to you, either works. For someone I'm less comfortable with, Facebook. Someone I barely know: neither.

>>18123454
Ginger>blonde>brown>black

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>>18123454
For a man? I like black hair.
For a woman? I like lighter hair the most. I have really dark hair, but I'm working on getting highlights like pic related.

Men, how do you feel if your wife/SO makes more money then you?

>>18123487
>>18123476
>>18123472
>>18123462
Hey >>18123454
I think what you can glean from this is, there is no consensus and women have different tastes.

a friend keeps sending me random pictures of photography he takes, its getting kind of tedious. Would it be rude to ignore the texts of his photos? I usually just say something like 'photo looks good'.

>>18123493
that's dumb

Men, do you actually want a traditional girl? Is the "wanting an equal and financially independant girl" thing a myth men sometimes buy into in the hopes of getting laid?

>>18123490
>Men, how do you feel if your wife/SO makes more money then you?
Indifferent really but with an exception or two.

If she made more money than me but was frivolous and stupid or overtly selfish, I'd be out. Self control is everything and someone bad with money is too much of a headache to deal with. I started out with shit all money and a low paying job and I learned how to properly save and take care of money, I can't be with someone that can't do the same.

>>18123500
In all honesty I'd be happy with either. When I first started going out with my gf we talked about future things and such and both figured we could both keep working to bring in extra money. But as years have gone by, she's suddenly fallen in love with the traditional thing of staying at home, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids etc while I'm still more toward her doing her independent thing.

I kind of miss the way she used to be. She was super independent but then started to change which makes me a little sad.

>>18123500
Even if men do want a traditional girl, it's very unlikely that a relationship like that would be financially viable in this day and age.

>>18123500
I know it's horrible, but I'm extremely attracted to more traditional woman.

I cook meals and clean my apartment regularly, and I enjoy it, but I would adore it if I had someone who offered to take care of things for me, acknowledging that I've had a busy week.
My mother is the most independent woman I know, so neither of my parents were home often when I was a kid. If I ever have a child, I would want someone to be there for them.

>>18123516
There's nothing wrong with wanting it, if you don't force it on a partner, and she wants it too.

>>18123391
Tell me immediately so I can stop wasting time on her and move on. Stop pretending he's going to pretend this wasnt a pathetic betrayal.

Guys:
Are 1) loud, affectionate, extroverted girls more attractive, 2) aloof, cold, unyielding types, or 3) shy, introverted, quiet girls?

Men- do you actually believe women should be treated equally?

>>18123541
part b: girls with distinct hobbies and a life or girls who don't seem to have much going on for them?

>>18123541
Not a guy, but I can tell you the answer is 4) a happy medium

>>18123515
It does have some financial benefits.
>less eating out
>no day care fees

But I do agree nowadays it's very difficult to have one parent stay at home on the average income. I'd love to stay at home
>little stress
>tons of free time
>have hobbies
>spend all day with the kids
It's just not realistic nowadays. I think the best is to have the woman work part-time or as needed (like 4 times a month) if possible. Kids, especially young kids, need a parent around.

>>18123490
I wouldn't mind. More money = more financial security.

>>18123541
If we're talking attraction, shy for sure, but extrovert would be easier to approach. Shy girls are a pain to attempt conversation with.
The cold types are also strangely attractive too but wouldn't be much fun to date. Idk, I can't of like that whole dark and cold thing.

>>18123543
Well if the girl without much going for her had hobbies and interests that she feels strongly about, then I could see past the "nothing going" angle. But only for so long, being aimless isn't good.

>>18123541
I tend to go for 3. But I'm a reserved, introverted guy. I figure an extrovert would want a woman who wanted to go out more often for instance.

>>18123542
Not even women don't want to be treated equally. At least, not entirely. If we told a woman the same jokes we share with men we'd have an express trip to HR. The ability to choose what they want to do? Sure.

>>18123541
1>3>>2

>>18123490
>Men, how do you feel if your wife/SO makes more money then you?
I want a more traditional relationship. If a woman had the drive to make something comparable to an Engineer, I doubt that's what she wants in life. Nothing against her, but I suspect we have very different end games.

>>18123542
It depends on what you mean by "treated equally". I'm all for women having the same opportunities, if that's what your asking.

>>18123389
Figures. Well, thanks for actually answering, unlike
>>18123390
and
>>18123397
(happy, kids?there's free (yous) for (you)!)

Back to >>18123389
What gender are you? I feel you're also a dude, and you got this pattern down from past experience.

Girls, how would you react if, during an intimate moment or cuddling, your bf started saying
>I don't care who you are, where you're from,
>Don't care what you did,
>As long as you love me
?

>>18123562
female. went through a time i dyed my hair a lot. low key looking for attention, the hair thing was just me trying to fill some kinda void.
>>18123563
laugh @ reference

>>18123563
Cringe and cringe hard.

>>18123563
I would have been singing the next line before you got to it

>>18123516
I work full time and still take care of the house and cook for my boyfriend.
He wakes up every morning to breakfast, I pack his lunch and prepare fancy dinners every day. I clean our house and iron our clothes.

I do it because I am in love with him, not because I'm traditional. Doing these things is my way to show affection to him. I don't want to be expected to serve him, but I've been taking care of his needs since we moved in together 6 years ago. He takes care of other aspects of life for me.

>>18123580
>I work full time and still take care of the house and cook for my boyfriend.
>He wakes up every morning to breakfast, I pack his lunch and prepare fancy dinners every day. I clean our house and iron our clothes.

Why does the thought of this experience make me hard.

>>18123387
1) She is ruining her hair.
2) She might be a feminazi or some other crazy, depending on the color.
It's OK if it looks natural.

>>18123490
I don't care.

>>18123541
3 if she is as affectionate as 1.

>>18123542
Yes, this means having the same retirement age, sharing the kids equally, not being able to take everything from the man who she divorces, etc. Usually the feminazis only want the benefits from "equality".

>>18123568
:D

>>18123570
You're lame.

>>18123571
When do we get married?

>>18123580
It's good though to have him help out too. I'm Italian and my mom was like that with my dad. If there was a dead rat on the floor by dad would walk right past it. Literally does no household chores.

>>18123387
Some girls just like coloring their hair. Some do it when they're bored, either with themselves or their life. Some do it because they're not happy, some because they are happy and want all the colors. There's no answer to your question.

Guys-i met a really cool guy today and we clicked and spent hours talking and added each other on fb. The thing is , tmrw is the week before finals week and then it's spring break. I won't see him for at least 3weeks. Is it weird to wait until after finals to message him? Because i don't have time to hang out with people for the next 2 weeks or otherwise message people as I will be stressed.

>>18123610
He takes care of other stuff. He takes care of the garden, does all ordinary maintenance at our house, and takes care of spooky insects. He often goes grocery shopping for me, since he knows I hate crowded places, and goes to all offices if there are papers to sign or shit like that.
We do well, to be honest.

I'm Italian too, by the way :)

>>18123615
Guy here, same situation, bump.

Imo you'd be fine

>>18123615
>"hey anon, i know youre busy with finals and whatnot, but id really like to see you again when you have the time. let me know when you are available."
something like this should do the trick.

>>18123568
Huh, that makes sense. To be fair, it does generate some attention, and people will be looking at it.

I just never understood until now why. I tried dyeing my hair blonde once, but holy shit, I looked terrible donning it. I couldn't ever imagine dyeing it in other colors, much less flamboyant ones.

Only reason I see dyeing it at all is if you're going grey.

Anyway, thanks again.

>>18123633
Thanks for this but /I/ do not have the time or energy to hang out with new people until after finals, otherwise I would ask him. I need to work on my thesis and go talk to collaborators. Clusterfuck right now. But i think it will be ok if i wait till after finals

>>18123662
Then tell him.

"Hey, anon! I had a lot of fun with you last night. I am extra busy with my thesis and finals for a couple of weeks, but after that we should meet. Maybe before we leave for spring break?"

>>18123672
Ooh I really like this, thanks! I'll message him saying It was a lot of fun and we should hang out when we're done with stuff

>>18123541
this:
>>18123549

you described three extrema, neither of which is particulary nice. I'd like my girl to be extraverted enough to never fear social interactions, quiet enough to be able to enjoy the silence and peace without constant attention on my part and unyielding enough to have her own strong opinion on any actually important subject.

Over the options you mentioned I'd choose remaining single

How come I have such a hard time believing women will respond positively to my advances?

>Also evaluate whether you approach women who are much more romantically desirable at first sight than you are

I was told this in the last thread. Dies it mean I'm supposed to go for the undesirable woman? I don't get it. Am I some undesirable who needs to realize his shittiness or something?

>>18123728
It means go for someone who's about as attractive as you probably are. Don't go for someone way out of your league. This of course doesn't mean you have to settle but it means you need to have realistic expectations.

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IM 43 tall white in boston how get laid nonstop?

>>18123728
It means either:
you might have very unrealistic expectations as to what a girl you want to date should be
you might be trying to date far outside your league (physically or otherwise)
you might be presenting yourself in a bad light and should work to highlight your best features (physically or otherwise)
you don't have very much to offer and should work on changing that

I tend to look at the second one more as a problem of the last one though.

>>18123743
How the fuck do I determine my own league?

>>18123758
You know you're own attractiveness roughly right? Take a point off that and there you go. So if you're 7/10, aim for the same or 6/10.

>>18123766
To be honest I have no clue what my rank is abd I don't exactly rank women inside my head in terms of sttractiveness either

>>18123541
Whichever likes me:(. I sense that the loud ones will be more willing to take multiple cocks when I'm not around.

>>18123772
Why don't you ask a friend?
Or a stranger via some chat or on /soc/

>>18123772
Look, forget ranks then, just go with someone who's roughly as attractive as you are okay?

>>18123743
What does "having something to offer" entail? Money, education and resources?

>>18123542
I used to when I was a young lad but then I got redpilled and found out that girls want someone who is dominant and aggressive so to answer your question not really

>>18123781
Interesting at conversation, a job or studying, maybe a car.

This is easy shit and your comprehension thus far kind of implies you're probably not very socially able.

I'm the tranny from the last thread and I personally wanted to thank those who answered my last concerns. I guess I was just having an emotional night as I told my boyfriend tonight that i loved him. I guess I just had to find it in myself to find things I love about him and now my eyes feel watery. I probably was just questioning things a little too much because it seems impossible for someone like me to score a man who is strong, have an attractive body, and loves me who even sees me as his girlfriend. I guess I should just count my blessings. These are the kinds of feelings that could lead a person to find a new found faith in God. You won't be bothered by my degeneracy any longer. But thank you. Is it natural to even be crying this hard when thinking about your boyfriend?

>>18123784
>You won't be bothered by my degeneracy any longer.
Come by and bother us anytime anon. You're pretty nice to talk to.

>Is it natural to even be crying this hard when thinking about your boyfriend?
Absolutely.

>>18123766
Different anon, but I'm unsure where I stack up. I know I'm not hideous and my friends have told me I'm handsome, but I have a hard time believing I could be all that desirable

>>18123784
no probs.
also, there's nothing degenerate about changing your genitals. Understand and accept it and you'll be fine forever

>>18123783
I'm interesting at conversations, I study and will have a job next month.

Girls,

How do you feel when you're at work and someone is visibly checking you out?

>>18123807
Uncomfortable, considering the guys I work with are either much older or aware that I have a boyfriend.

>>18123808
What if it's a client?

>>18123789
I hate that conflicting feel when some friend says I'm handsome, but the handsomeness never achieves anything of worth when it comes to courtship. It feels like a phony untruthful compliment.

>>18123541
Male 31

Physically introverted (meaning mostly to herself alone.)
Approachable/sociable.
Honestly enjoys her hobbies.
Dresses the way I like (mostly artsy but conservative).
Mostly a homebody, but enjoys going places with me now and then.
Wants to marry and have kids.

>>18123809
Even more uncomfortable, because I'm working, it's my job to be nice and professional, and they know that.

>>18123813
Shit.

>>18123815
I'm not quite sure what you were expecting.

>>18123816
I guess I was expecting to find a reason to not feel like trash about it.

>>18123819
Have you done it, or are you planning to do it?

Girls 25-30

If a guy in his early 30's admitted to you that he hasn't been sexually active for years (7-9 years) , would it make you hate him or look at him as weird? Particularly if you had a lot in common with him, would it be a deal breaker for you?

>>18123820
I did it to a girl at a mall. She was giving out flyers and I looked her down from top and bottom and she caught me doing it. It was only like a second or two but I still feel bad about it.

>>18123825
Well on one hand, it's pretty innocuous to just check someone out, but on the other, it can come across as creepy. My advice would be to not feel bad about it, but don't do it again.

Girls:
Not accepting a friend request is a polite "fuck off", right? I thought I had a possibility of getting a date after a long while with this one interesting woman, we had a very nice conversation about various "deep" topics, danced etc. , but she has left me hanging now.

I probably misread general friendliness/politeness as mutual attraction like I always do.

>>18123825
Don't feel bad about it, that's just stupid. People check other people out all the time and it's natural. Don't be an apologist nu male, that's extremely unattractive.

>>18123824
>>What do girls/guys think about <an insecurity including, but not limited to: looks, physical traits, personality traits, virginity or otherwise lack of dating experience>
>There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>>18123831
Depending on the sort of person she is, it might be a 'I don't know you well enough to add you on social media'

>>18123834
Yeah but if I was in her place, just standing there for the n-th people, having to be nice to people who don't want anything from you and trying to give them flyers, the last thing I'd need would be some dude checking me out.

>>18123839
I wouldn't care and I'd probably be a little flattered as would many other people in the same position.

>>18123835
Well, it's not so much a complex, as it is more just bad luck. But it wouldn't bother me, just curious how others would see it I guess. Like, personally I wouldn't judge a girl if she's had experiences, like at all, but I often wonder if the opposite in a male can be a concern for a girl. Wouldn't mean shit to me eventually since we'd end up having sex, but it's the thought I feel that would bother the girl(?) Meh..

Part of me feels like I shouldn't even bring it up really, but for honesty sake, I'd have to.

>>18123847
Don't care that it's not a complex, the answer is still the same. Stop asking stupid, completely subjective questions.

And the fact that you're obsessing over it makes me question it when you say it's not a complex.

>>18123847
>Part of me feels like I shouldn't even bring it up really, but for honesty sake, I'd have to.
I once told a girl I had been seeing for a while that I have had 1 sexual partner in my lifetime, because she asked. She kind of looked at me sideways, the air around the date went pretty frgid and later I got ghosted on.

Go ahead and tell if you feel like it, I know better now.

>>18123853
I'm not though, I guess it's because the girl is someone I'm crushing on, so I'd hate to make her feel awkward in any way. You seem to be rubbing the whole complex thing in, when I'm not even addressing it like that.. more like, perspectives. I just want random perspectives.

Girls (but I guess gays are fine as well)
what is the most pleasurable way to finger your asshole? (by a partner I mean)
how do you feel about stretching/pushing deep? Can two fingers be more pleasurable than one?

>>18123858
You see, if the girl I like reacted that way, I'd just walk away probably looking at her in the same trivial manner. Irrespective of how attdacted I am. A lack of empathy is usually a good sign a woman isn't for you anyway.

Hey grills,
What were your experiences with fisting or rope bondage? A few partners of mine have shown quite a lot of interest and I haven't done anything about it as of yet.

Just curious I suppose.

Also, OP - I like the new FAQ.

>>18123874
We've had that FAQ for ages...

>>18123870
Well sure, but it still hurt me and my ego. It led me to think that many women see those who have had no partners or very few partners as undesirable. Why should I take him if no one else has? Why should I be someone's sexual guide/trainer?

>>18123807
Uncomfortable and annoyed. I don't like being checked out, period.

>>18123824
I would be a little weirded out, but if I liked him it wouldn't matter.

>>18123881
I find that attitude repulsive in a woman frankly.. it's like the things you have in common fly out the window and sex becomes this main concern, almost as if the idea alone created a complex of it's own within her.. but in fact you're just a guy happy to be in a relationship, like normal ppl I guess..

Funny to think too, because one can simply hire prostitutes, go to sleazy clubs or something, but they don't. Just years go by working shit jobs or something and it's like you become a ghost without social circles, happens to many people. It just seems stupid and unfair.

All of a sudden you hook up with someone you absolutely ron't care about that left you feeling disgusted with yourself, but you have it under your belt as experience and THAT of all things is somehow more appealing? Just makes me think of how shallow the inner workings of people can really be.

>>18123872
I like bondage a lot, and I've tried fisting, but I'm too tight.

>>18123847
I really wouldn't care, provided you were interesting and attractive to me and stuff. There's more important things to worry about in a potential partner than number of partners.

>>18123881
Look, not all women are like that. I'm not. If I find a guy who likes the same things I do, treats me well and equally, is kind, well mannered and doesn't mind my minor misanthropy and I am attracted to him, there's no way in hell I'd care about how many previous partners he'd had or hadn't had.

>>18123899
This is my thinking exactly though.. like I stated before, if a girl had history and Irdgf about it, why get upset about a LACK of history? Especially if you like the guy and feel compaticle.

Just an unfair standard ppl set I guess.

>>18123904
Society's full of unfairness.

>>18123879
Ages is being a bit generous. It's not a new addition, but it's not even a year old I think.

>>18123903
Which is a logical viewpoint. But 1 person saying something is shit tends to have a stronger bite than 3 person not caring which is a huge slice of the problem here.

>>18123541
I'm an introvert and get along with introverts pretty easily, which is why I would like an introverted gf. But if the girl is too unresponsive and doesn't reciprocate because she is too shy or too cold, I go with the extroverted girl.

>>18123910
I'm not satisfied with that. And I'm quite frankly disturbed by it. At the very least in this respect.

I guess really, it's because society expects inexperienced men to be MORE unforgiving or judgemental of women who have been around(?) But at 31 it's something I've simply shed, and I'd especially forget all about it if I found someone good for me. The last thought would be sexual history, probably be too busy thinking of all the memories we'd make instead. And desu, I don't even wanna hear about her sexual history, probably be more curious about fetishes.

>>18123903
Not everyone is like that, of course not. My anecdotal evidence however tells me otherwise. It doesn't help that I live in the world's most promiscuous country, so it's even bigger of a stigma.

>>18123879
Not really, it changed.
Removed the last question, changed the first.

>>18123930
Which one is that again? I live in Australia, and it's pretty bad. I just personally feel that way.

>>18123929
It really sucks, I know. I hope you find someone anon. Honestly, I am a girl, and I don't think men are more judgmental about anything, period. We're a very cruel gender. I just try not to be, because I've been on the receiving end of said cruelty and wouldn't wish it on anyone.

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>>18123940
And God bless you for it.

I don't think the girl I have this crush on would judge me really, she's pretty out there herself in terms of personality. I don't even know if she's single though, and she's real far away and wont be around till next year. Who knows, maybe my dream will come true.

>>18123937
One of the Nordic countries.

>>18123930
Just do what everyone else does, Pekka. Go to Thailand and fuck hookers.

>>18123949
And make myself feel even more of a loser by having to travel to the other side of the globe in order to have sex with someone who doesn't enjoy it and sees me as a wealthy perverted foreigner? I'll pass, thanks.

>>18123942
pic is not her btw, just sayin.

>>18123951
Stop believing /r9k/ memes. Take a beach vacation to Thailand like everyone else. Go to a bar in the evening. Chat up a Thai hooker. If she likes you, you'll have a fun time all night. Then pay her a little bit.

Nothing wrong with it. Plenty of Chads do it, even though they can get it for "free". You need to rid yourself of this /r9k/ mentality.

>>18123958
>You need to rid yourself of this /r9k/ mentality.
I don't browse /r9k/ so please elaborate on /r9k/ mentality.

>>18123967
Something like

>I want a pure virgin qt gf who will love me for who I am
>I'm not going to make any effort for it, she must magically appear in front of me
>it's not fair that I have to make an effort because Chad gets it for free

>>18123974
I don't have unrealistic expectations and I was raised to put in the effort in order to get things I want. I'll give you the third one though, it sometimes feels like I'm fighting with an unfair handicap of some kind while others have it easy.

>>18123982
You gotta jumpstart your sex life somehow. No other way than doing it through practice. That's why hookers are a good idea. Think of her as your personal sex trainer, not a hooker.

>>18123986
I know I need to get my sex life going, but I don't think it's going to help to have sex with a hooker. At best I feel a little bit better of myself for getting my rocks off and at worst I'll either get addicted to easy sex or feel crushed for having to pay for a woman's momentary affection.

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Thought I was over her, woke up with mad feels.

Advice on coping? Trying hard with self-improvement and hobbies rn but every now and then she pops up in my head and my heart shatters. Anti-depressants seem to help the most but I don't want to be reliant.

>>18124096
>Advice on coping?
Try being a man

Girl I got very close with turned out to be interested in another guy just as I opened up to her and asked her out. A day later I'm helping her cope with her cutting him off because he put zero effort in their 'relationship'

She feels like shit for losing him. I feel like shit because I'm conflicted. Feeling bad for her is one thing, of course. However, did she reject me? Did she see me as her reason to finally take that step? Should I try again, move in and be more aggressive in my interest? Or is that too soon?

Girls, is putting things between you and your date (like a coffee cup) a subconscious body language thing that signals disinterest?

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>>18123382
How do I date a girl who can't drive(in a cast), lives with her parents and hates the bus when I don't have a car?

>>18124154
You take the bus to her house or ask her if her parents can take her to your house.

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Anyone can answer this and I would be grateful
>In college
>cutest girl in class literally does not seem human
>try talking to her once
>She brushes me off
>Go to art event with class
>As class is leaving I casually ask if she wants to stay longer
>Suggest we do so together
>End up spending the next 4 hours together
>Get along much better then expected and she seems super happy the whole trip
>Leave the event and walk around checking out different areas taking the longest route to the train
>She goes out of her way to take the same train as me
>Get so distracted she misses her stop and rides to mine
>Exchange numbers
The problem is I'm super bad at texting I fucking hate it. How can I get her to hang out again before we meet at class?
She really seemed to enjoy being with me and she is inhumanly beautiful so I do not want to fuck up this chance. She is also ridiculously shy and I know for a fact I'm the first guy who tried again after being brushed off. She is most likely still a virgin.

>>18123387
My classmate always dyed her hair blonde and for the first few months I thought that was her natural color. Didn't think much of it when I noticed her roots saw her black haired sister, guess it's just her thing.

Hair colors that people don't naturally have usually looks tacky.

>>18124162
>noticed her roots saw her black haired sister,
and saw her*

Phoneposting sucks

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>>18124157
She recently broke up with a guy they liked so I dunno about the former and I live with a grandma who won't even let her own friends past the gate.

>>18124170
Does she go to school? Meet after school and walk around.

>>18124173
Yeah we both go to (community) college at least but it's Spring break so I kinda wanted to take advantage of no classes.

>>18124161
>Hey, wanna get a cup of coffee/lunch/[do things] before class?

WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EVER INITIATE A TEXT CONVO WITH ME GODDAMNIT

Kind of disheartening when my friends get messages all the time from various people. Makes me feel like a ghost.

>>18124186

Texting serves a purpose. People text those who they have something to say to. It's not just for the sake of conversation most of the time, because typing takes time and effort (in comparions to talking in person). If no one has anything specific to say to you, of course they won't text you. Start having more conversations irl and it should over time increase the amount of your text convos too.

>>18124190
But I am a pretty social person irl like my friends are yet I receive maybe tenth of messages they do.

>>18124186
>>18124195

This is not a competition. If you are social, if you have friends, and if you have fun, then why count texts?

As long as you have people in your life, don't fixate on HOW they communicate with you, dude. Just enjoy that they do it.

>>18124197
>why count texts?
Because it might show that people might not like me and only hang out with me out of obligation if I initiate.

>>18124206

How do people react to being with you? Instead of looking for a reason to feel hated, look at their actual reactions. Do you have some fact to feel like they don't like you?

Girls

I'm scared of sex.

I've done it twice before out of pressure, but all it did was leave me with bad memories. That was years ago, and I haven't been able to open up since. I'm going to be visiting a female friend in her country for just a few days soon. It's pretty clear that she likes me based on how she talks to me, and what she says. I think she might want to have sex.. which very much worries me.

I feel intimidated by cute girls, which she's gorgeous. Honestly, at this point, the thought of a girl even possibly wanting to touch my dick causes me stress. And if for some reason we did had sex, I'm terribly worried that it would extremely underwhelming for her and I'll just end up creating another bad sexual memory.

>>18124226
I see no reason why they would dislike me... I just know for a fact that the people I respect and enjoy spending time with tend to exclude me from various events they attend to with each other by not asking if I'd like to join.

>>18124253

So the problem is not the texts, then, it's that they leave you out of shit.

Maybe they are just assholes. Maybe you are not as close with them as you think. Maybe you are the asshole and they don't like you. There are a lot of possibilities here. Hard for me to tell you which one is the one.

>>18124251

This seems like a question for men more than for women, so I'll reply even though you asked girls. Feel free to ignore this if you don't want a man's perspective.

You say sex left you with bad memories. Why? What was the problem with the sex you had?

>>18124257
Thanks, anon. I guess I'll just become a hermit then. I've been close to being one all my life anyway. At least I have my best friend who genuinely wants to spend time with me.

There's this reasonably attractive, friendly girl who would smile at me whenever we ran into each other (like class), and recently I've been trying to be more friendly with people, so I tried to be nice and ask how she was and she'd reply "good, how are you?" with a smile and this happened twice. The second time we were in the library together (this happens a lot) so I went a little out of my way to ask how she was and she replied in kind with a smile as usual.

However, after that I get the feeling that she is avoiding me. She never sits in the library anymore (she started sitting outside of it) and she never smiles at me anymore. Did I do something wrong? Being avoided hurts me a lot so I want to know if it was something I did or if it was just a string of coincidences and I'm just a very tiny insignificant dot on her radar. I'm pretty average looking and I shower consistently, so I don't think it's my looks or hygiene. Was I too forward and scared her off?

>>18124274

That's the coward's way out. You cannot fail if you never try, right?

So what if these dudes are not really your friends? So what if you haven't found a good group of friends yet?

Live life, do shit, meet people. Eventually you'll find some decent ones.

>>18124262

>You say sex left you with bad memories. Why? What was the problem with the sex you had?

Well, the first time was when I was 20. I felt very pressured to lose my vCard. So I started flirting with the girl who I knew from high school on Facebook. I wasn't attracted to her, but she was DTF. So, she came over after a few weeks of chatting. We snuck into my basement and she just grabbed me and started making out with me and rubbing my dick. I didn't and a fucking clue what was happening. Next thing I know she's on the floor and I'm eating her out, she was literally begging me to fuck her. So I did, I came pretty quick, but I never got a "rush" like I would from fapping. Right after tho, almost immediately I just wanted her to leave asap. After she left I kind of just sat there and thought "what the FUCK just happened.." I felt gross, as I had her fluid all over me. So I went and took a really long shower and then just sat on the couch for hours wishing I didn't do it and realizing all the stress I put myself through for THAT. People always said how sex was "SOOO AMAZING". But that was a load of shit.


1/2

>>18124262

2/2

The 2nd time (2 years later) Met girl off tinder. She was lewd from the start. Went to her place. She started making out with me right away (which I was not happy about) pulled me on top of her. While we are making out, between kisses she says to me out of the blue "a-are you a virgin?". I was sort of offended so I pulled away but pulled me back down and continued kissing. She asked again, so I said no. She asked how long has it been and I said I didn't want to say. She kept asking so I said 2 years and she pushed me off. Started asking me fucking annoying questions. I felt very awkward at this point. So I didn't know what to do, so I started fingering her. Did that for quite a while. She came from it. Then pushed me over, took my pants off and gave me a pathetic bj. I didn't feel shit, I didn't cum either. I remember looking at the clock, she actually blew me for close to 25 minutes. Nothing happened and I told her to stop. I put my pants on and just walked out.


Fuck man. I'm 26 years old now, and that's all I know. It's so fucking frustrating hearing how sex is so fucking amazing and that I'm suppose to be out living my prime with girls. But from when I've done it, all having sex has done is lower my self esteem

>>18124283
I have tried, but I've been sidelined and excluded through all my life. That's why I said I've been hovering near hermitry if not for my best friend, who more or less has had the same experience.

>>18124289
>>18124291

Thanks for opening up. Remember I'm just a rando, but I think I can offer some insight with this info.

Sex is not only physical. It has a mental component, too. Every person is different, of course, so a lot of people can be happy with casual sex just for the sex. But even them can't escape the other part of sex.

You were into your own mind both times. First time, because you were nervous as shit (we've all been there). Second, because she was making it about you. Doesn't matter why though, the point is you had just "sex". No emotion, no connection, no fantasy, no nothing.

Fucking should be fun. You should get to play with your favorite body part from the other person, you should get to request something you like (as long as it's reasonable), you should exchange dialogue (usually compliments, unless you are into more kinky shit), you should get to experiment (again, keep it reasonable), etc.

I get why you feel like you do, I get it. The second girl sounds pretty awful, too. But my advice? Find something to get exited about. That's the best way to enjoy sex. For the mechanical part you can masturbate by yourself, with no porn and not even using your imagination. Sex doesn't work like that.

>>18124302

Then see what went wrong and work on it. No one is granted friends just because they exist. Interactions demand effort. Go to new places, try new things, break from the routine that keeps you "hovering near hermitry". There's no "friends handout" where you go take one just for showing up. You have to have a life where friends will fit.

>>18124311
I have analyzed the reasons. When I was a kid I was bullied for having quite thick lensed glasses. Then in puberty I was bullied for the glasses as well as daring to send a letter to my crush. Then in high school the bullying lessened to just getting ignored. I figured that if people hate me, I might as well just sit at home and play games until in college I found this group I'm talking about.

>>18124306

I appreciate that you're trying to help.

But I don't understand how I'm suppose to do that if I'm too scared to get naked infront of a girl now. The thought of possibly being naked and that physically close to someone again gives me anxiety

>>18124291
I posted here earlier. And I've been in a similar situation. I'm the 31 yo guy who posted about not being sexually active in years. Except in my situation, I lost it to an ex I was madly in love with, so I didn't feel anxiety or fear with her, in fact, when I came I didn't feel that nasty down that one gets after fapping or feeling guilt, I just felt whole. My issue was after she left. Mine was also a first and last time deal because we were way long distance (FL me, Connecticut her). Two years go by. I'm not over her, I meet another girl on DeviantArt who lives locally. I pick her up one day, I used to draw hentai art junk and she got turned on when I showed her, whipped my dick out and she loved it, her first time seeing one so it was pretty hot. She tried sucking it a bit, then I caught myself and realized what I was doing. I felt terrible, disgusted, guilty, I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown, she was depressed too. We stopped of course. Months later we tried again, she came over I asked if she wanted to suck my dick, she did. So we're at it and I cum, and IMMEDIATELY upon orgasm, I had a huge nervous sort of mental breakdown again. Drove her home shaking, feeling guilt, disgust, shame, I just hated myself. And both times I realized I was just desperate to get over my ex, who I actually loved, but she was simply not there, I wanted so badly for her to be there then. Lost about 5 years of my life after her breakup going insane for nothing. A part of me just wanted to move on sexually years after, tried many methods, apps, meeting ppl in person, only girl I really got close with I made out with and grabbed her boobs through her shirt. Really all out of desperation from working a shit job and living by myself for the first time. I felt like I cheapened my ability to love. And although I've tried to establish relationships and something even crappy ones knowing they'd probably fail.

cont.

>>18124337

Don't blame High School for your current situation. No one knows you were bullied (unless you told them). You are not the same kid you were.

You don't have to occupy the same place you did back then.

>>18124338

>But I don't understand how I'm suppose to do that if I'm too scared to get naked infront of a girl now.

Why are you naked in front of her? Who is she? Your girlfriend? Do you like her? Do you want to see her boobs?

See what I mean? You are doing it again. You are into your own head and thinking only about the mechanical part of this. You say "I'm naked in front of her!". That's not the important part. You can have sex while mostly clothed. The question is: Why are you having sex?

>>18124339
cont.
As soon as I ran into this new girl I was crushing on, I felt like my ability to love was turned on again. In a big way. A paet of me feels like certain posters are right that I need sexual experience when I ask for advice, but another part feels like, at this point, if I do, I'd probably cheapen by ability to feel that strongly for someone. I don't wanna be "the bad boy", because I've met that guy before, and the archetypal bad boy personality is such a shit, that it bores me.

>>18124343
No I don't, but you must see how this is hard for me and why I feel like not getting texts makes me feel paranoid about left out again.

>>18124136
Bamp

>>18124359

Oh, I see that. I also see the past doesn't change. So you can keep using it as an excuse, or you can admit that you don't have to be that kid anymore. Your choice.

>>18124136
Too soon. Don't be a rebound.

>>18124347

>The question is: Why are you having sex?

I just did it because of pressure. Because people tell me I'm wasting my prime. That I'm going to feel heavy regret when I get older and never did shit..

Part of what makes this even more stressful for me. as you can tell, this shit is a big deal to me. I am 26 and seriously lack experience around women. So what would happen if I had sex with one, and ACTUALLY really liked it? Girls my age have had sex thousands of times. So the experience with me would be worthless to them. But to ME it would be all I know. More or less, I'd feel used. It just makes everything seem so cheap to me..

>>18124348

Wow anon. That's a lot. Do you actually feel better now? How did that happen?

There was only ever one girl that I've ever liked, one that I actually WANTED to be with. I had met her on vacation. Nothing had happened with us, but we did become close. After I returned home we flirted a lot and I got really attached. She even told me she liked me and she got lewd with me over text. I REALLY wanted to have sex with her. The only person who made me feel like that. I bought plane tickets to go visit her a few months later. But, 1 month before my flight.. she met Chad. And you can imagine the rest. I still ended up going. I spent 1 day with her as platonic friends. We walked around and talked. But holy Fuck that shit killed me inside. I cried in my hotel room that night for the first time in probably 10-15 years.

>Florida

how is Florida btw, I'm moving to Daytona Beach in the fall

Is having a fupa bad/ugly given I'm not overweight?

>>18124373

>I just did it because of pressure.

I'll recycle a gem from above: The past doesn't change. So you can keep using it as an excuse, or you can admit that you don't have to be that kid anymore.

>So the experience with me would be worthless to them.

Why? STOP THINKING OF SEX JUST AS THE MECHANICAL MOTION. If she wants an orgasm she can buy a vibrator. You can always offer more. You can offer love. Real connection. A fantasy. A fetish. You are more than a dick, dude. She is more than a pussy.

I'm starting to think my idea isn't really coming as clearly as I thought. Do you understand what I mean when I say "offer a fantasy"?

Some people fuck because of love. Others, to be rebellious. Others, because they are bored. Others, to keep you happy because you remind her of her dad. Others, to feel like a dirty and liberated slut. Others, because they just like the way it feel when a dude fingerblasts her instead of doing it herself. Others, because roleplaying cops & thieves makes them wet. Others, to fill the empty void inside them with another warm body.

And a million other reasons.

Find what the girl in the second part of your post had. Find someone that makes you want to have sex. Don't so it as an obligation. You have already seen it doesn't make you happy.

>>18124373
Florida is... well, I live in Miami so, overall pretty lax, lots of medicare fraud, crimes here n there, mostly sunny, tons of liberals.. ehh.. I like better anywhere but here. But I live in a part of town that's pretty clean, isolated, and relatively far removed from most of the madness, still very close to the beach though.

Never lived in Daytona Beach though, can't speak for that place. Can barely speak for Miami since I don't feel too at home here.

>>18124397

>Find what the girl in the second part of your post had.

Well, that's impossible. Because that experience fucked me over. I can't accept affection anymore. There was 2 girls in the past year who I was friends with, had lots in common. But ended up liking me, as soon as that happened I pushed them away. Because it scared the shit out of me. This female friend I'm going to be visiting soon (from my OP), I'm worried about this as well. I'm really about to friendzone her, because she's been talking cute to me, and it's scaring me

>>18124401

I'm moving to Daytona Beach for school. I don't think it can be as liberal as this cesspool where I live known as Washington DC.

So I took out this girl to lunch earlier this week. She's really pretty and we got along very well, laughing and smiling the whole time. I work with her. She snaps me alot, often times racy pictures, and earlier she snapped me about going on an awkward date (she said it was her FIRST DATE IN MONTHS) and said it was horrible and awkward. Then today at work, I sat right next to her in a 1 person booth (so we were as close as can be), and I could tell she was getting excited from it. Everyone else said it was "cute" and things like that. She also already laughs at every joke I make, but when I made a joke about sex, she got very interested in it.

All the signs say she likes me. I feel it deep inside that she does. But I never made it clear that our lunch was a date. Either she was trying to get me to mention that our lunch was a date, she was trying to make me jelous, or she was trying to make it clear we are just friends. I honestly just wanted to next her after she said the dating stuff, but after today when I saw her at work, I'm still unsure.

I'm afraid she told me about the date she had yesterday that was "awkward and shitty", which she SPECIFIED AS HER FIRST DATE IN MONTHS, because she's friendzoning me. We had lunch earlier that week. But the signs today at work makes me think she might still like me. I don't know. I'm so fucking confused but my gut says I'm still in it.

What do you guys think>? I'm 25 and she's 18 and fresh out of hs, so I'm betting she expects me to take the lead her but the truth is she is more experienced than me, most likely, at this type of thing

>>18124406
>Well, that's impossible. Because that experience fucked me over.

Ok, then. Stop posting. hat's the point? If you are going to hide behind you past instead of taking charge of your present and future, then I'm wasting my time here. I can't make you feel better. Only you can.

Think if you are really ready to ask for help. Just saying "no" means you'll never actually take advantage of what we have to offer.

>>18124410
>just bee yourself
:^]

But really, hating the people around you wont help much either. Your situation is not exactly far from the range of human experience. Plenty of people live with, for exp PTSD their whole life, medicated. Some of us are maybe just a little more patient, in all our desperation resemble inward prisoners. Maybe till somebody worthwhile opens the gates(?) It will be alright I feel...

>>18124420
>>18124426


Meh, well. Thanks for trying to help

>>18124435
You can always try anti-anxiety meds. Depression pills worked for me, but I still feel anxiety, especially around ppl I like. It's an option.

>>18124449

Well actually I really can't take anxiety meds due to my career path

>>18124339
Oh, and I met two girls off apps to add, one knew right away we wouldn't work out, the other hugged me and we hung out but she was going through a serious problem at home with her uncle who had the hots for her. So I helped her contact family in NY to ditch this city. Nothing sexual, and never heard from her again.

>>18124456
Eh? y?

>>18124480

I am trying to become a pilot. You can't be on any kind of mood stabilizing medications that effect your mental state.

>>18124492
Dang.. welp. There's always beer. People tend to enjoy conversations more while drunk (I should be taking this advice but I don't smoke or drink).

>>18124498

The thing is. My problem isn't talking to people. My problem is I can not handle when people show affection to me, and I'm terrified of sex and attachment

Males, would you date/marry a different race?

>>18123500
I used to, but then I learned quite quickly how women worked.

How do women deal with facial hair, more commonly and specifically, moustaches?

>>18124513

White American male here.

If I was going to go with a different race. Asian or South American. But, honestly even tho they aren't a different "race". I'd very much prefer slavic women.

American women suck

>>18124502
Or maybe, it's probably that the right girl hasn't come along yet?

This is my thinking. When I was in love, I was so smitten, I didn't even care for other girls, they just didn't matter. When I was desperate, I just made increasingly shittier choices to attract a mate, even if it was just sex. But I know deep down that if it's an INSIGMIFICANT union.. it will simply NOT last long.. I mean I can hold on and hang in there if the person is good to me. Even that girl who gave me head after my ex, I didn't stop talking to her, just kinda punched through absolutely miserable and depressed, something just laying there near her like a bag of trash, till I felt a little better. By the time I was comfortable in myself to take the next step sexually, she went on and fucked some guy she knew. Needless to say, I lost respect, patience, felt quasi cucked even though she wasn't a proper gf. But if she hadn't fucked me over, we'd probably be in an okay relationship with 1-2 kids by now.

But God knows what he's doing man, never underestimate that. God doesn't take away something, unless he knows he can give it back to you a hundred fold. When I started crushing on this current girl, what I felt was.. sort of like, in retrospect, I'm glad everything else failed, because I feel like a blank slate ready for her. Even if she has been around, like I said, wouldn't mean shit to me. It would just be cool to be with her, share life with her.

Hang in there.

>>18124533

You have an interesting story, that's for sure. But, I just don't see that happening to me.

I mean, you're already very experienced. I literally have none. Especially at my age, im expected to be experienced with dating and sex.

I can't tell you how worried I am that on my upcoming vacation that I'll end up having sex with this girl. She's very nice to me, and she's a good person. But I'm really worried that if I have sex, it's going to be a terrible experience on my part, because of me. And then that'll just be one more shit sexual experience for me to dwell on

>>18124513
Yes. I'm Cuban, hispanic, light skin, dark hair. Meh.. I really don't identify spiritually or psychologically with most of my own country folk. Exceptions here and there, but I identify more with more abstract thinking people, introverted people. Generally white people, Asians, Indian. Mostly white people though, or hispanic people that identify with foreign cultures to some extent.

>>18123425
After work bump

Girls, do you prefer guys with short or long hair?

Everyone can go ahead and give me input on this.

I had this person lead me on, to the point that they've sent me suggestive pictures, along with lots of cheesy romantic comments back and forth. Then I noticed that when I got into more serious flirting, they would kind of push me away, answering with things that give no room for a reply or for further flirting, like just "pls". I decided to ask if my flirting bothered them at all. Then they finally decide to tell me, that the flirting is fine, just that they're not looking for a relationship right now, and doubt the flirting will ever actually go anywhere. I asked why they thought it wouldn't go anywhere, and they responded saying that they aren't looking for anything right now and wouldn't want to get my hopes up or anything.

How am I supposed to respond to that? I was very much lead on and had my hopes up, to the point that I was starting to feel emotionally attached to this person. I don't think any of the actual things I said had turned the person off, since I've known them for a while and know they like that kind of stuff. I also don't think it was anything I said.

To Asian and Black girls: Do you like white guys?

>>18124513
Hell yes.

>>18124604
>>18124610
horrible posts

>>18124621
They are important.

>>18124554
>had sex one time and got head from an ex gf and an online friend, both experiences which sucked

>experienced

Sometimes wishing to erase shitty experiences is harder to come by, than knowing how easy it is to create them.

Just make sure you have feelings for this girl, and she isn't someone to experiment with and you shouldn't feel that way. Make sure you love her, and that you're good to her, and she good to you.

I live like 10-15 minutes away from the beach. If I wanted to I could get up, drive there, hit on some lonely fat chick and fuck her. But you know why I don't do that? Because I understand what desperation is more and more with every passing day. And it is SO incredibly easy to give into it. So easy, that it's visibly cheap. Now, this girl may enjoy the experience and be overcome with joy, or even get attatched. Wtf kinda piece of shit would I be then if I told her I just wanted sex and nothing serious with her, like she's an insignificant piece of meat I can just pick up to fuck whenever I want simply to aleviate myself at the expense of her peace of mind? Knowing I don't feel in any way attracted to her like I do the girl I have a crush on.. I'd just cheapen myself and essentially feel like I'm acting out my attraction to the girl I have a crush on later down the road. I prefer it to be real, as pitiful as she may perceive my attraction, I know I have the inner strength to love her properly. Because my attraction to her ACTUALLY blows me away, makes me feel compatible, makes me feel like the younger me, but in an older, wiser body. With a little spaghetti to boot.

Just keep in mind, no one is perfect bro. And we're all just learning and either becoming better people for it, or accepting increasingly careless behavior and becoming content with that. But not one shoe fits all, no one experience is for everybody.

>>18124563
I also respected a native girl very much.

>>18124608
You can choose to block the person and preserve your own inner peace.

>>18124513
I'm Brazilian so I have no idea what race I am to begin with. I guess white girls could be considered out of my race.

>>18124645
>Just make sure you have feelings for this girl, and she isn't someone to experiment with and you shouldn't feel that way. Make sure you love her, and that you're good to her, and she good to you

But this girl lives on a different continent. I'm going there on vacation and we will spend a few days together. I'm very afraid of attachment. She's dropped some big hints that she likes me..

>>18124674
If you're afraid to get attatched, that is a definite bad sign, but only from my pov. Another anon may stop by and say "brah just stretch that puss meat out brah go cray brah fuck da buhshit!". And you can choose to listen to that guy. But deep down you know two things are true, you are uncomfortable with sex, and you don't wanna catch feels.

Either one of those things you will have to sacrifice if you like her, or both of those things. Meaning nothing will happen, or the very opposite will happen and you may end up catching feels.. which could be good for you man, if you do indeed like her. Sadly, I get the feeling you perceive this as a mission doomed to fail. Like it will be this short lived experience that will leave you empty if you do catch feels, or even if you don't, which is perfectly normal. My advice, fall in love locally, or make sure she's willing to move in with you if she lives far away. Good things work with the human touch. But always be honest with yourself first. If you can't go through with something, don't. Ultimately your life, your experiences.

I feel like I'll disappoint in bed especially because everyone expects a man to have a certain amount of experience at a certain age. So the thought of not fulfilling those expectations and disappointing my partner causes me anxiety which causes limp dick which causes further anxiety that makes me never try.

So girls, whst are your honest opinion about an inexperienced guy who otherwise is a perfectly normal and confident dude (except for relationships and sex) with good career prospects, is social and has hobbies?

also how do I break this cycle?

>>18124722
>also how do I break this cycle?

Girls won't solve that for you, buddy. That's your problem. You have to do it by yourself, don't try to make a girl solve your shit.

>>18124722
Pay a hooker.

>>18124724
Well it was more of a general question.

>>18124727

Ok, then let me offer you something:

>So the thought of not fulfilling those expectations and disappointing my partner

What expectations? Do all people have the same? I think they don't. Don't put everyone in the same bag. You might meet someone that is willing to work with your inexperience. Maybe because she is inexperience too. Maybe as a fetish. Maybe just because she really likes you.

Don't preemptively cut your chances by setting up unrealistic expectations. Meet people and learn how they feel.

>>18124696

Yeah I hear you. It's probably best I avoid it.


>catch feels locally

Can that even happen in Daytona Beach? Is there actually QTs there.. or just degenerate spring break sluts?

>>18124722
not girl.
Find a good girl for you, one that doesn't make you feel pressure or anxiety, just love. If even that fails, viagra? At least till you get used to the idea.

>>18124734
There are qt's here in Miami, dunno Daytona. I've approached and hit on a handful of good ones. But the list of rejections from women I actually feel compatible with is what drove me to lower my standards and get desperate eventually. You begin to think, well, all these girls I feel compatible with don't like me or have someone, so I'll lower my standards.. that's when you begin to really fuck up. Ironically, the rules of attraction are sometimes so stupid and selfish from a female perspective, that dating someone that you don't even like makes you all of a sudden more appealing to other girls. What a fucking tragedy our specie.

"Sorry, I have a bf."
Or she's too young, or she likes me even though she has a bf, but I respect her relationship and just go about my business.

This is how I feel man, the things I've done out of desperation, are the things that have backfired on me the most. This goes for almost all aspects of life in my experience.

So just take it easy, take it slow, don't kill yourself trying to fill an ultimately spiritual void. Advice even I sometimes have to remind myself to take. Not sure how taylor made it will be for you though.

>>18124754
tailor*
get out of my head taytay

>>18124734
>or just degenerate spring break sluts?

I'm beginning to think there's more to your aversion to sex.

>>18124731
>Don't preemptively cut your chances by setting up unrealistic expectations
Uh, what, I don't have expectations about the other person because I don't have a foundation to base those expectations on.

>>18124780

Well, you expect them to hate your inexperienced ass in bed. It's unrealistic because as I said, not everyone will hate it.

>I don't have a foundation to base those expectations on.

But you have the foundation to know what all women expect? Kinda weird, isn't it?

>>18124754

Well thanks for the advice man. The thing is like you said, I don't want to drop standards to something I don't actually want. I'm hard headed

>>18124758

What do you mean?

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Update from
>>18119619
>>18122143
>>18122705

She texted me back around three hours ago.

These indie femmes are gonna make me fucking kms.

What's the scam here, ladies? Lack of mutual interest is p evident, but why facilitate distance if she still wants to talk to me? There was nothing inherently romantic about our meeting that would imply I was trying to ask her out.

>>18124786
>But you have the foundation to know what all women expect?
Don't you think it's kind of fucked and/or weird a man in his prime has had only very little experience? That's where I base the expectation on.

>>18124799

I don't think it's weird. Check out this board and you'll see plenty of people lose their V-card later in life. It's not that big a deal.

I know there's a stigma attached to it. I know how nervous one can feel. I'm in my mid-twenties and only managed to get laid very recently. But that's the point, I did get laid, so even if you are playing with a handicap, you can still do it. So focus less on why you shouldn't try and focus more on actually trying.

>>18124794
>What do you mean?

You kept talking about your bad memories with sex. But this demeaning tone towards "sluts" has nothing to do with that. It seems sexuality in general bothers you, even if it's expressed by others and you don't need to get involved.

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I found out my gf of 5 months sleeps with a stuffed animal that her ex got her when they were together.

Is this a big deal or not? I'm leaning towards it's not a big deal, but I'm curious to know other people's perspectives since I feel conflicted about it.

Is it even worth talking to her about it? Or would that be opening up a can of worms?

>>18124813

>It seems sexuality in general bothers you

Well. Yes it does a bit. But I understand that people have sex. My female friends have sex with their boyfriends. That's just how it is.

What I meant by the degenerate spring break sluts is that the "spring break life" shit is degenerate. Girls sucking random dudes dicks just because they can, running around topless with no fucks given. Degenerate.

>>18124844

This clearly relates to your problem with sex. Either as cause of consequence of them.

Maybe you should fine a way to explore your sexuality. Feel more comfortable with it. That might make sex more interesting to you.

>>18124841
You might as well ask but dont be confrontational, it could be a non issue. Has she said anything about this ex?

in a relationship but recently gotten ED
my girlfriend is so upset about this she doesn't want to see me or contact me for a week, we'd see each other daily

help please

>>18124861

What's ED?

>>18124849

>Maybe you should fine a way to explore your sexuality
>your sexuality

I don't know what this even means, or how to go about this Tbh...

>>18124863
Erectile Dysfunction anon

>>18124865

Your "sexuality" is your relationship to sex, how you have it and how you see it. Right now you don't have a partner to experiment with, but watching new types of porn would be a good start. Masturbating differently, using your whole body and not only your dick (I'm not saying but stuff. Be more creative).

Have you ever masturbated in a warm bath? Have you ever used a vibrator? Why not try playing with ice or something? There are plenty of sex toys to get, some might sound interesting.

Connect with your body. Expand your horizons and, most importantly, have fun with sex. Don't just fap and be done with it. Make it something interesting.

>>18124863
A fate worse than death.

>>18124867

Oh, I was expecting some kind of hip slang. My mind didn't go there at all.

Sorry if this is too forward, but what a bitch. Instead of being there for you she kicks your ass to the curb right now? Take it as a sign of her true colors. She won't be there for you when you need her.

>>18124874


Honestly anon. That's the exact opposite of what I should do.

I'm actually purposely cutting back on fapping. I use fap everyday for years. But I've cut back to once every few weeks. I feel much healthy that I cut back. I don't look at porn either.

Plus, some of those suggestions (ice/vibrator) is not at all something that even remotely interests me... that is too intense...

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Advice to surviving the friendzone while being a good friend?

Fell for a good friend in my professional class (tried not to but...) and I refuse to limit contact or cut her off because thats shitty.

Anything help or just grit my teeth and ride it out?

>>18124880
She's usually very understanding, but she really doesn't understand mental and men health. In the moment of being unable to hold my erection she says ''it's okay, don't worry about it'' then she'll start crying and say how ugly and undesirable she is. Obviously she's not ugly or undesired, she just wants to feel loved.

>>18124892

Just keep telling yourself it's not going to work. After a while you'll believe it.

It worked for me

>>18124880
Women don't understand how the penis works.

>>18124887

I'm just saying the first things that pop into my mind. By reading the description of your sexual encounters, there was no foreplay. You jumped into sex, came, and then wanted her to leave.

Putting ice on your tight, for example, is a sensation different from just touching yoursel. It's cold and leaves you wet. It's interesting.

Using a vibrator will mean you don't have to stroke. Guess what? In real sex, you won't be using your hand, right? So putting a degree of separation between the action and your own skin is, again, different and actually closer to real sex.

The idea here is to find things that make you feel good. Get naked in bed instead of putting your hands down your pants sitting on the computer. Break from the mechanical routine. I know I bang a lot on the whole "don't be so mechanical" thing, but really, don't be. Foreplay is part of the sexual experience. It's not about getting to cum fast and then browsing "let's plays" in Youtube or some other shit.

>>18124894
>>18124899

She made it about herself and cutting contact won't solve shit. I'm not saying it's easy, but come on. This is zero empathy and avoidance.

OP, try to talk to her. But really, i stand by what I said. Her first instinct against the problem is to blame him, see herself as the victim, and tell him to fuck off. I mean... maybe it's just me, but that doesn't fill me with confidence on her.

>>18124892
You can only do it if you're willing to bite down the fact that you will see your friend on the podium getting the ring slipped around her finger from another male sometime in your life.

It may not be now, it may be in twenty years. But it's coming. And you'll have to be emotionally prepared for it.

Otherwise, ditch the shit.

>>18124902

That's not for me DESU...

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>>18124897
I already know that. She knows, it was discussed, we're still friends, etc.

I'm just wondering if theres anything to dull the pain without sacrificing the friendship. I refuse to compromise that, and I know the answer is probably just "suck it up", but doesnt hurt to ask!

>>18124913
Thanks anon, I'm hoping I can get over it for better or worse before that day comes

>>18124916

Again, don't do the exact things I mentioned. Reading comprehension. Those are examples.

Sex is a mechanical duty for you. It leaves you unhappy. Try to think about it as a pleasurable activity instead. Unless you are asexual, but you wanted to fuck that one girl and watched porn so you don't seem to be (I'm no expert).

Let's go slower. Do you know what foreplay is?

>>18123728
Ignore that advice. Women are proven to settle for men they don't even consider attractive a bunch of the time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqjOEMeQgqU

this massage make more hard pussy

>>18124861
viagra, stop fapping by all means, start running. if all this fails, get a penis enlargement pump, they're like last resort type deal, but work and even increase size, not for everyone though. Shit, I'd use one, irdgaf. it just wurks.

>>18124962
or you can try extenze, the kind to increase dick size, should keep you firm.

>>18124962
Don't penis pumps fuck up the dick's blood circulation so that you become impotent?

>>18124998
I've tried 2 of em, just to see if they work, still get hard. The guy can also try a cock ring, which traps the blood in the shaft.

>>18125013
I meant like with prolonged use

>>18124854
That he's a crazy drug addict, unstable, and obsessive and won't let go. She's blocked him, but he's even tries to contact her through other numbers.

I feel like there's no way for me to ask about it without it coming off as confrontational, maybe I should just forget about it?

I'm a penis behaviorlogist (because I study and observe my own), should I make an AMA thread?

>>18124930

Yeah I know what that is..

How is this going to help me with my sexuality issues??

>>18125022
perhaps, I only used em a hanrful of times. desu, what improved circulation for me was just forcing blood manually myself.

what those enlargement pumps do is basically draw fat into the penis, and even the head, so you decrease sensitivity by a huge factor, which is bonus, but the effects don't last but 30+ minutes. longer with a cock ring.

gorilla death gripping the blood into that mother fucker works relatively the same, and probably with similar side effects, but hey, helps harden it up. loss here, gain there.

exercise and viagra probably being the most effective/healthy(?) unless you got a bad heart.

>>18125049

Do you find it fun? Do you have a favorite part? Or something you want to try with a girl?

Girls:

So there is this girl that keeps staring at me whenever I see her at bars and clubs. This has been happening since the fall. I'm thinking about approaching her next time I see her.

My question is, why do girls constantly stare at guys?

>>18125048
>tfw penis inspection day in gym

why was this necessary?
they always had to test for taste, but they'd take a long time figuring out if it tasted okay and it made me feel funny

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>>18125083
>My question is, why do girls constantly stare at guys?

>>18125099
You need to ask your gym. That question is not related to penis behavior.

>>18125114
i feel uncomfortable talking to them about it

i went to the counselor and she just looked at me like I was crazy and said she was going to have to have a taste too to see why they took so long last time

she said it all seemed fine, but it didn't feel as weird when she did it.

>>18125061

It just doesn't make sense to me how fapping is going to help me with my sexuality...

I feel way better that I have stopped fapping. I'm way more productive in my life. I feel healthier, and overall better. I really try hard to not think about sex and girls..

>>18125124

You didn't answer my questions. I'll add another couple ones: How did you fap? Did you just do it quickly to get off and move on with your day? Did you ever get naked to fap?

>>18125139

When I did fap. Yes I'd be naked, and I'd edge for a while generally.

I don't understand where this is going

>>18125144

Ok, so you made something out of it. By the way you talked about sex earlier, I just assumed you were more reserved.

So you did make sex and experience, not just a quick deal. Yet you treated the first girl you had sex with like that. You got off and were done with her. The second one ruined the foreplay with questions. Not your fault.

So my point is, you didn't really had that much fun with sex. Try to move that idea of "foreplay" from masturbation into actual sex. Don't go straight for "the kill". Draw it out as you used to. Make sex a fun experience.

You'll be nervous, of course, because you already are. But if you make the effort, you'll leave less nervous. Good luck, man.

Ladies, what do you think about a guy who owns an onahole? Would you watch him fuck it? Would you care at all? Would you be creeped out if he talked candidly about it?

>>18125212
I'd feel insecure because I'm not sure if it'd feel as good as I do. He shouldn't choose a toy over me.

I wouldn't want to be with a guy who ever used one.

>>18123382
>>18123382
To both women and men I guess, I just can't be bothered to make a separate thread.

Going to a woman's house in a few weeks where I, her and some of her friends (women only I think) are and we'll get drunk before hitting bars. I literally don't know anything about her or her friends, any tips? stuff to talk about? what to do or not to do?

I'm a male if it wasn't clear.

>>18125224

How did you get invited? You must have something in common. Use that.

Also, avoid politics and religion. Keep the conversation casual.

>>18125218
>I'd feel insecure because I'm not sure if it'd feel as good as I do. He shouldn't choose a toy over me.

Okay I can understand this.


>I wouldn't want to be with a guy who ever used one.
This seems unnecessarily toasty though.

>>18125231
>>18125231
Well I danced with her some weeks ago in a bar and at the end of the night she gave me her phone number and said she'll invite me the next time she goes to bars and now she did. And she suggested we start at her place.

>>18125212
Same thing as a woman owning a vibrator.
I'd feel uncomfortable if someone who I wasn't in a sexual relationship with decided to candidly share masturbation techniques with me.

And in a relationship, don't think I'd watch him fuck it. But I haven't watched someone just masturbate either.

>>18125212
It depends on my impression of him.

Would you date a guy who is not ambitious and has a nihilistic mindset?

>>18125268
No.

>>18125268
Drive and passion is sexy as fuck. I don't care if you're ambitious about your career, but be passionate about something.
Nihilism, depends on how much of an edgy kid you are. If you're a fedora-tipping 4chan nihilist, not really, no.

Question for fellow guys, whenever i see a woman i find attractive i have the issue of having no drive to approach her because i imagine she is not interesting before even bothering to go up to her, any of you had this issue before and any tips you could give me?

>>18125281
>tfw passionless about everything in my life, even the hobbys I use to pass time (other than vidya)

T-this is fine h-haha...

I went down on my gf for like an hour, and she didn't orgasm. She's very communicative in bed, and she said I was amazing and doing it perfectly–and she's definitely not someone who'd lie about that. I could tell she was extremely turned on, but for some reason I just couldn't get her to finish.

Anyone know why this could be?

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>Walk the street
>Pass by grocery store
>8/10 qt stands in my way
>litrerally looks all like my oneitis
>she fucking stares at me.
>pretend I didn't notice...look back...
>she keeps fucking staring.

>go fucking talk to her
>do it faggot!!
>ignore her pretend nothing happened go on my way to home
FUCKING EVERYTIME


It can't random, shit like happens on a regular basis to me sometimes even with a smile.

In my mind a girl who does maintain eye contact either means you have shit dripping out your nose or she is attracted.

What should I fucking do?
HOW DO I TALK OR ENGAGE CONVERSATION WITH AN UNKNOWN GIRL?

I'm in a situation where i really need to know if this girl likes me, although i can't simply ask her out. I'm telling you why.

I've been completely in love with some girl in recent years, but had a really low self-esteem, and failed to demonstrate my feelings. Didn't have the guts. Then, i knew my current girlfriend, who is a really cute and kind person, and, best of it, she made the move for me. People usually say that she's way above my league, and that i'm really lucky for being her BF, and i know that's true. We are completing three months together, and i don't think i really love her. Besides, she's going out of country for studying during one year, and it's well stabilished that we're breaking out then.

Finally, in the last three days, someone said that the previously mentioned girl, whom i really like, is into me aswell. I'm completely sure that i'm leaving my girlfriend to be with her if i can be sure this is true.
Problem is: i'm not able to identify any signal that she really likes me. In fact, her behaviour when around me doesn't seem to difer from other girl's behaviour, although her friends seem to giggle whenever i'm around (i know they may simply think i'm weird). How should i proceed? What tests can i do to know if she's really into me? I don't wanna lose my girfriend for nothing, i'm quite happy with her, even being ''not in love''.
Sorry for the bad english, by the way, i'm Brazilian.

>>18125056
You know on second thought, I would caution against anything extreme like a penis pump, but they are quite a neat trick and relatively effortless. Side effects though could basically make the cure worse than the illness, risk is up to the user.

>>18125319
This is very sad to hear.

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>>18125319

>>18125288
You simply stop assuming things about her until you know things about her, then ya just assume no more.

>>18125308
She probably went numb. Ex of mine complained about going numb after I went down on her for like 20+ minutes or so? Could be it.

>>18125319
Get angry at yourself. Then walk right back. Guy who had this very thing happen with a very intense crush recently and it fucked my life.

Gotta start getting mad at ourselves if we know deep down it has a high probability to work.

>>18125365
well, technically she didn't complain... *b'dum psst* just voiced she went numb.

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>text her about something i did
>i figured she'd be happy for me
>she just says "oh ok!"
>conversation ends

what does it mean?

>>18125393
Your a boring.

>>18125373
But what do I say or do?
I'll just look or sound like a faggot a creepy one.

>>18125502
Say hi, firstly, or hey.
Ask her name.
I "anon", nice to meet you.

Now, if this girl was a super strong kind of crushing attraction, you would probably drop spaghetti so you might wanna keep it short. "I think you're very attractive, would you like to exchange numbers so maybe we can get to know each other better?"

She'll say yes or no. If yes, awesome, well, gotta run, I'll call you.

If no, ah, no problem (she may have a bf). Nice knowing ya, bye.

>>18125533
ideally though, it will be a strong attraction for a reason and you will have something specific that attracted you to her in mind. Personally, I prefer to ask if they're single first. But the last girl I said something to, I was crushing to hard, I didn't even ask if she was single -I was so blown away. She attracted me in so many ways, and I still hadn't gotten a proper look at her up close, that's when I froze up. Happens, but you kinda gotta fight it. Certain ppl smoke or drink to take the edge off and probably don't even know if they'd suffer from anxiety otherwise.. meh.

How do i convince my gf to wax her upper lip

>>18125541
Ask her if she's self concious about it. If she isn't, she'll probably ask you if it bothers you(?) In which case you will say yeah, a little. Or you can be more blunt about it and ask if she's ever considered shaving it before(?) If she sais yes, ask her to try it, that you'd like to see what she looks like without it.

No way you say it will not make her some kind of insecure or shy, but you can try to minimize it by making her feel appreciated, just this one detail is something you'd wish she changed is all.

>>18125319
All you have to say is "Hi, i am (insert your name here) what's your name?" I learned my stuff through video's of Johnny soporno on Youtube.

>>18125601
Did it ever work?

For Girls:

I "lost" my V card to a girl I met on Tinder a few days ago, she didnt know I was a Virgin but during the act I couldn't stay hard and never really fucked her for more than a few seconds, I want to say it was nerves but I just didnt feel anything.

I was definantley nervous before the act actually took place but then during I just felt ashamed that I couldn't get it up (It wasnt her fault she was thicccc). We ended up making out for awhile and I fingerblasted her and she seemed to cum, she more or less seem pretty cool about it.

I texted her the next day and apologized saying there was a lot going on in my head. we talked for a little bit throughout the day.

My question is A: What does she think of me? am I a laughing stock between her stacy friends B: How do I fuck her again? Should I even bother texting her.

>>18125619
Yes but it takes practice.

>>18125791
Greentext or tell me some stories please.

The only experience I got is a girl refusing to give me her number...

>>18125668
If she still texts you and wants to meet you then she probably didn't mind.

But my guess is you will never see her again.
Deal with it, Tinder is like this, the girl you meet wants the D, not you.

>>18125808
I am going to bed soon but if you want the basics this video is a good one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1ET4q8NpvM

>>18125817
I know the basics all too well.
I just lack the balls for it.

I just wanted to hear out how you made it this far.
Most people manage to get at best 3 numbers but they won't answer.

>>18125816
Should I try a day after no texts and see if she wants to meet up again? or dont even bother

>>18125831
Man try texting if she answers then good for you if not just get over it.
You should feel lucky you actually managed to lose your V card.

The only good ways to lose it is either a gf or a hooker.
A casual date won't be patient with you they want to have fun.

>>18125837
Yea I feel you thanks anon

>>18124610
Some do, some don't. I do, but that doesn't really mean much in you're looking for a general consensus. I'm black btw.

why do some guys correct others so much? why is it when you say something, they'll go like "...it's actually so on and so on"and they do it all the time?

why do girls go back after their exes hurt them?

Is it weird to give an ex girlfriends new boyfriend a gift that you were gonna give her before you broke up so he can give it to her?

>>18125933
It's part of "male psychology".