What are good stealthy ways to fuck with a fucker

kill him

>>18122922
Why can't you move out?

>>18122922
Does he ever leave the house? You could short out the power in his room.

You could also fuck with the speakers in his sound system.

Also maybe subtly scratch his video game discs slowly over time.

>>18123013
Sometimes people are too busy and/or poor.

>>18122922
OP, whatever you do, you can't be connected to harming or bothering your roommate. That'll do nothing in the long run besides piss off your landlord.

Things you actually should do:

-get a mini fridge with a sturdy lock for your room. If you can't afford a fridge, and live in a non-humid area, just put your food inside of a large clay gardening pot, and then put the food pot in a larger pot with wet sand sandwiched between them. With a good cover over a bit of wet cloth, this consistently kept my food at 40*F for the entire summer one year in college when I couldn't afford a fridge. Thanks, thermodynamics.
(Be sure to secure the lid on that too)

-Get some earbuds. Sorry, but breaking the speaker system, no matter how satisfying, will change nothing. He'll whine until his mum buys a new one, or he'll get the landlord to make you buy it.

-Tell the landlord about the bills issue. Make it clear that you won't pay for his electricity and water any longer. Be firm. Pay half the bill on time and leave him to hang. Is his name also on the lease? If so, have a recording of him refusing to pay his half if this goes to the civil courts.

-Put a lock on your door, and then keep your room as a clean sanctuary. Leave nothing of value in the shared area.

- Every once in a while, clean a path to your room. Think of it like shoveling a snowy driveway. Such is life.

-Keep your dishes in your room, and clean them right away so you can put them back safely. Throw away your roommate's dishes if he leaves them in the sink until they smell. When he complains, replace them with a large supply of cheap paper plates. This is a good investment for a livable kitchen.

-Once a week, give the kitchen and bathroom a good bleach water rinse. If you slosh a 16:1 ratio of water to bleach everywhere before you touch things, it will make things bearable to touch. If you let it go longer than a week, it will become too awful

>>18123063
If you want ideas for how to eat and cook in a way that relies less on a full kitchen or refrigeration, just ask! I lived with my cooling pots, a slow cooker, and a hot pad for years in my dorm. If you want help figuring out what to say to your landlord, I'll also try to help with that.

>>18123013
Because I'm saving up with my partner to buy my own place. The rent here is too cheap to pass up.

>>18123063
Thanks man, this is comprehensive, appreciate all the advice.

He gradually stopped stealing my food when I went ballistic over it a few times. Probably too cowardly to deem it worthwhile with the meltdowns I was chucking at him.

Also started locking my door and took back whatever remaining unstolen stuff I had in the shared living space. Dumb motherfucker stole one of my dumbbells. Wtf is he to do with just one?! I have good mind to bludgeon him with the other one, but this shit stain is not worth jail time.

The main issue now is the noise pollution. I think this is the snivelling cunt's sulky way of getting back at me. Headphones do work but they make my ears hurt after hours of wearing them. It makes me rage to think of all the shit he is getting away with.. This drawn out situation has made me doubt if karma even exists.

But you're right, I'll be making myself vulnerable if I damage him or his shit. I am contemplating changing the locks after I fuck off though. Maybe the simple kind that he'd have to buy a bolt cutter to get through.

>>18123253
I'm glad that you have most of your stuff secure. What's keeping you from re-stealing your other things?

What's the state of the union concerning bills?

Also, just curious, but when will you be able to move to the new place? Remember to hit up Walmart around midnight for all of the free boxes you could ever possibly want. Employees restocking product will be happy to fill up a trolley and have you dispose of their trash boxes for them. Also, ask liquor stores for boxes if you have a decent amount of books. Svedka and some double-layered Crown Royal boxes are prime targets. So wonderfully sturdy.

>>18123072
Thanks man, appreciate the offer!

Wow how big was your dorm? I'm not sure if I can incorporate refrigeration and kitchen into my room as you did.

The room I'm in serves as a study, sleeping area, and pantry for dry goods for both my partner and I. It's a squeeze but we've adapted. Over the years I managed to throw enough fits to get him to stop hogging fridge space stealing my food, so it's not really an issue anymore.

Right now it's a war of mental attrition with regards to his noise polluting antics. I have given up hope of getting the landlord to intervene. Too much of a pushover.

I guess if anything, it would be nice if you can advise how I can reframe this situation in my head. I feel very trapped, full of rage, and I know this stress won't be healthy in the long term. Maybe a more stoic outlook would help even though calm is not really my nature.

>>18123364
I have thought of stealing my stuff back, but his room is a scene from Hoarders. I have thought of just going in and wading through the cesspool of half eaten food and Cum stained waifu pillows in his room to look for my stuff, but the stench and effort is not worth it. Besides I am a super private individual and sneaking into his room when he is not around makes me feel like I'm invading someone's privacy.

He steals mostly small stuff like clothes, game disks, etc and they disappear into his mountains of shit. I've tried demanding for our stuff back but he acts dumb and pretends not to hear my tirade. That was when I decided to just cut my losses and just try to secure all the unstolen things.

He has stolen bigger things like 2 standing fans from us under the guise of "borrowing", but when I asked for the fans back, they were conveniently broken. So yea, you can see what a cunt I'm dealing with here. Every interaction with this dude gives me cancer.

I'm not worried about the bills because it was at the pushover landlord's expense. Luckily she didnt raise the rent for me or anything like that. I used to be concerned about the unfairness of the situation but I've ran out of fucks to give.

Thanks for the advice about the boxes, we should be able to fuck off by next year. Right now it's about surviving the mental attrition of his noise polluting antics.. And perhaps teaching him a lesson while at it.

>>18123041
I suspect he is a neet, but he does go out occasionally to do odd jobs.

Any suggestions on subtly fucking up a sound system? Don't want it to look like obvious tampering.

As for the game discs, will fine sandpaper do the trick? Any tips on stealthily fucking up a PS or laptop would be appreciated too.

>>18122922
Tell the landlord it's him or you. If you pay your rent and are no problem, the landlord will have to choose to evict him.

>>18122922
Release the bees