How to get the mother of my children back?

>>18121898
I've given her some space and haven't really talked to her, I was thinking of making one final attempt to ask to see her. What should I do to win her back?

You need to provide more information about why the relationship broke down in the first place. What was the cause of the split?

>>18121908
After my son was born she seemed to just retreat into her own world. Nothing made her happy. She didn't want to be intamote with me anymore. She was always yelling and angry. So I got scared, possessive, and I accused her of cheating regularly unable to figure out why.

>>18121898
Shameful self bump

>>18121942
Have you heard of postpartum depression? This is a much more likely cause than cheating.

>>18121996
She's already got massive depressive disorder. But I just couldn't get the thought out of my head and now it seems it's too late.

>>18121898
Bumping again

>>18122184
Final bump. Need advice.

>>18121898

You don't need to be in a relationship with this woman for her to be a mother to your children.

Its time you start considering the possibility that your relationship with her needs to remain parental, not romantic, for the sake of the children.

Your kids need a stable mother and a stable father. If that means you have to break up with their mother to do that, you do it. You owe it to them.

>>18123001
Lel. You dumb faggot. You can't provide a stable life for your children if you're not with the person you had that child with. A majority of marriages to single moms end in divorce.

http://stepdadding.com/stepdads-blog/so-i-married-a-single-momwhats-the-big-deal/

https://singlemotherguide.com/single-mother-statistics/

>>18122984

When she retreated into herself, what did you do to try to find out what was wrong? Ya gotta walk me through what you did, and what she did in response, otherwise I have no idea what's going on.

>>18123001
Not saying it's entirely impossible but generally, divorce is bad for the kids. Single parents are bad for the kids. There are exceptions, but generally they're destined for more trouble than traditionally raised kids. Please don't give me any anecdotal bullshit to prove me otherwise. I have enough anecdotes to fire right back.

>>18123026 is me btw.

>>18123026

>You can't provide a stable life for your children if you're not with the person you had that child with

I'm not sure what you're on about. What does marrying a single mom have to do with what I said?

If their relationship isn't working then its far more beneficial to the children to maintain a parental relationship than a relationship in which the children live in a house with fighting and turmoil all the time.

Children need stability. If not being together means a more stable environment then its the right answer.

>>18122984
How old are you OP and what's your financial status with your wife? This matters. I need to know so I can point you in the best direction. Are you poor? How long have you been married? Any criminal past? Kids before or after marriage?

>>18123040
Statistically speaking, the chances of stability for his children's lives will be lowered with divore. If there's divorce, they'll be getting raised by a single mom. Single moms don't provide stability.

>>18123052

>Statistically speaking, the chances of stability for his children's lives will be lowered with divore

If you had calmed the fuck down and read what I was saying you would see that I didn't disagree with that point. What my point was is that if the relationship absolutely couldn't work it would be a better idea to get a divorce then force the children to live in a home with two dysfunctional parents arguing and creating a stressful living environment.

>If there's divorce, they'll be getting raised by a single mom.

Again, I don't think you read anything that I said. If they divorce they'll have both a mother and a father, the two just won't be in a relationship together.

Having a mother and a father equally present in your life is not the same as being raised by a single mom. Yes, divorce is bad but dysfunctional households with fighting and arguing is worse. That's been my point from the very beginning.

>Single moms don't provide stability.

Its funny, you mentioned something about not using anecdotal evidence to support an argument but then you say something as logically dubious and asinine as "single moms don't provide stability".

Again, yes, children of single mothers are worse off than children of two parent households but it sounds more like you're focused on some kind of crusade against single mothers than you are focused on the content of what OP is actually saying. Being raised by a single mother is sometimes the lesser of two evils.

>>18123069
My apologies. It just seems like you were heavily pushing divorce. I can't stand when people push the narrative that divorce is necessary. You aren't implying that, but I jumped to conclusions.

Also, I was speaking in generalities. Statistically speaking single moms do bad. It's like generalizing black people because they commit the most crime in the US.

>>18123093

>Statistically speaking single moms do bad. It's like generalizing black people because they commit the most crime in the US.

Statistically speaking, single moms do worse, not bad. There is a difference. There is no study that proves single mothers are bad mothers. If I were to tell you that you are statistically less likely to succeed at something than somebody else that is not the same as saying you are statistically guaranteed to fail.

>It's like generalizing black people because they commit the most crime in the US.

They don't. If you take the raw number of arrests and separate them by race, whites are arrested for the most crime. When analyzed by per capita, blacks are arrested at higher rates yet that still does not prove who commits the most crime, only who is the most arrested and prosecuted.

My point is you need to be able to separate the conclusions you want to draw from data from the conclusions that you can.

>>18123126
Being in extreme poverty and not being able to provide basic necessities is an indicator of being a bad parent.

You can't ignore facts.

And I'm not drawing a conclusion I want to see about black people. It's just true. They commit more crime per capita. It's not about being caught more or less or arrests or being charged. That's dumb. That's drawing your own conclusion.

>>18123153
That came out retarded. I'm tired right now. My apologies. Clearly the data proves that they commit more crime per capita. You can try to justify that anyway you want. You can say well maybe they get caught more. You can always make up some excuse but it doesn't disprove that data.

>>18123153

>Being in extreme poverty and not being able to provide basic necessities is an indicator of being a bad parent.

Being a single parent is an indicator for being more likely to be impoverished and more likely to be unable to provide basic necessities. That isn't the same thing as what you're saying.

>You can't ignore facts

The fact is you're drawing false conclusions from statistics that only prove a disadvantage, not a stamp of failure.

>And I'm not drawing a conclusion I want to see about black people.

You are.

>It's just true

Its not.

>They commit more crime per capita.

False. They are arrested and prosecuted for more. Correlation vs. causation, my friend. Who intrinsically commits more crime is a statistic that has never been, and probably never will be documented.

>It's not about being caught more or less or arrests or being charged.

That's a ridiculous statement. Police presence, departmental resources, prosecutorial conviction rates and average income of the area being policed are just one of millions of variables that play a part in the crime statistics of America. You gotta do some reading, bucko.

>That's dumb. That's drawing your own conclusion.

I'm drawing conclusions from what the statistics say, not what I want them to say.

>>18123033
I did everything I could. I talked to her endlessly about it. Did what I could to take her out and do everything. She started going on the PC more and more and wasn't even working. I'd clean as much as I could after work and just tried to make life easier.

>>18123043
We were never married. Yes I'm poor. Thankfully when she kicked me out I have my mother. Didn't have a criminal record until I met her. It's been Rocky ever since we met.

>>18123026
Psychology almost universally agrees that the momentary damage of splitting a family is far better in the long run than staying together and continuing a toxic relationship.

>>18123227
New day, new bump

she needs help.

my wifes all fucked in the head the same way. there seems like nothing i can do to make her feel better.... cleaning etc.. none of its addressing the root problem

all you can do anon is think of the kid... support your significant other... be a man

>>18124437
And that's what I've tried to get across to her but she blames all of her feelings on me. She knows she's miserable with or without me but won't take me back. And it's killing me. No one else will take care of her like I did. I'm a great father, I just got so scared when she pulled away.