What to make of this relationship?

>>18121408
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>K asks me to meet her again soon, she goes on vacation for 2 weeks and we meet soon after at my place.
>We go out for dinner together, she almost can't look at me straight without blushing and looking away, K says she never thought we would ever have dinner together. We have a couple of drinks too. After dinner we start walking through the local park, K wants to hook arms, after a while I grab her hand. We just chit chat away, then get a little bit silent. I tell her I like her a lot, she tells me she likes me too but thought I didn't like her.
>We go back to my place, we have another drink and start to cuddle a little, talk about what we like about one another. After a while we kiss, look at one another for a while and start talking again. We kiss a few more times that evening and stay up for a long time. K misses her train home, we sleep together in my bed all cuddled up.

>I'm feeling better than ever and the next couple of days are really great. We live quite far from one another so we can't meet that easily. The next week after our date we're gonna hang out with some of out friends. K asks me to keep our thing a secret. We talk for a while, in the end she says she really likes me but isn't sure of she can be in a relationship. I tell her I would rather try and fail than stop now and wonder what could have been the rest of my live. She says she wants to try it with me, but doesn't want to be boyfriend / girlfriend yet. I agree.

>We hang out a couple of more times and everything goes great. We keep up our chat too, talking pretty much every day. After 2 weeks she seems a bit uncomfortable however. Not too sure what to make of it.
>We both get very busy with school and work, don't have time to see one another because of the distance, we keep talking and I help her through some emotional stuff that goes on in her life.

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>>18121427

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>Meet K again after a month, we have a ton of fun together and everything seems good again at first. But when I try to hold her hand she seems a little uncomfortable.
>Afterwards she seems distant when we're chatting, doesn't wanna hang out because she's busy or doesn't reply.
>Ask K if we're okay, she asks why we wouldn't be, tell her I think she seems a bit uncomfortable when we're talking.
>Tells me she wants to be friends. Tell her I got feelings for her and that I would really like to just be friends if things don't work out between us. But I can't just switch off my feelings for her from on instance to the next. She says she understands, and that she really doesn't want to lose me as a friend.

>All of K's uncomfyness is gone, begins to talk to me like we used to before. I don't initiate the convo's. 2 days after saying I need time she once again tells me she really doesn't want me out of her life as a friend. Once again tell her that I would like to be friends because we have incredibly good convo's together and lots of fun when we're hanging out, but that I also got pretty deep feelings for her.
>Haven't to eachother since, which is just 2 days ago

I'm really not sure what to make of this, I really like her and for a while I was 100% certain she did too. I know she has some issues regarding relationships, namely that her previous two didn't end well at all, and that she has fear of commitment, which might has to do with her self image, which is pretty low. She also told me shortly after our date that she would absolutely hate it if, when things wouldn't work out between us, we wouldn't see each other any more. I'm 21, K is 20.

Thanks for reading this wall of text, any help is appreciated!

>>18121458
>Tells me she wants to be friends. Tell her I got feelings for her and that I would really like to just be friends if things don't work out between us. But I can't just switch off my feelings for her from on instance to the next. She says she understands, and that she really doesn't want to lose me as a friend.

Sounds like a good romance that normally would develop into something and you did well but she was resilient to let it happen.
I'd walk away if I were you. You two are pretty close and there is a lot of chemistry and I know that doesn't happen often. But I mean, aren't you hurt? What happens if she gets a new boyfriend? What happens if you get another girl? Would your partner be okay with you having a female friend that's so close to you and that you tried to be with? Staying friends with her is a recipe for disaster, jealousy and heartbreak.

>>18121508
first of all thanks for reading all this stuff!
I've been thinking about that too, the thought alone of her being with someone else is pretty painful, and even when my feeling weren't that developed I had a hard time being around her when her BF was there too.

I'm just afraid that if I walk away, I'm gonna deepen a wound she already has regarding relationships. She's insecure about herself being a viable partner and has told me she thinks she only brings bad stuff with her whenever she enters a relationship. Of course this sounds insane cause its K who doesn't want to go any further... But at this point it seems like I'm caring more about her wellbeing than my own.

Still, this is good stuff to think about, you're absolutely right that I would find it very hard to swallow if she got with someone else. But it just feels like she´s one of those people you only meet once in your life, but perhaps my feelings make me blind.

>>18121547
>I'm just afraid that if I walk away, I'm gonna deepen a wound she already has regarding relationships.

And then what? She fucks some other guy and you tell her it's okay because you two are just friends like you agreed while inside a piece of your soul dies and it hurts so hard that you feel physically sick? You get a GF who finds out about the fling you had with your female buddy like a year ago and understandably goes apeshit?
You enjoyed a good time with her, did everything right, stood tall and made your intentions clear and she didn't accept. You did it like a good man should do it. Now you're hurt and it's time to put an end to it for your sake. Nothing good is going to come out of this anymore and it you can only lose with this girl from now on. Now you need continue to stand tall and accept your loss and cut it off.

>"not ready for a relationship yet" meme

She's proven that she's capable of having a bf so why doesn't she want to get in a relationship?

I'd say walk away dude. I know it hurts but these girls just want to be chased and will lead you on forever

>>18121408
>we're both at school
>she fucked my friend
>got intimate with a girl
>don't get our feelings because all we have is our intimate experiences together and casual chatting
>she doesn't want a relationship, but to be friends
It isn't a relationship, you're friends who have touched one another's genitals

You have oneitis.
Put the fact she touched your skin tag aside, consider what you think of her and why you think it, do you think she is great because of something you witnessed or know of her? or are you filling in the blanks to tell yourself that she is great?

>>18121629
I certainly do have oneitis! But I know why I like her and it´s certainly not just because we got physical. It´s the things we talk about, the way she sees life and how she acts and thinks. We´ve talked about so much personal stuff that I think we have a fairly good image of one another, I believe know her better than most of my friends.

>>18121611
This bugged me a bit too, but at the time I understood. I´ve always seen her as someone who is pretty fragile emotionally and with who I would be okay with taking things slow.

>>18121653
>It´s the things we talk about, the way she sees life and how she acts and thinks. We´ve talked about so much personal stuff that I think we have a fairly good image of one another, I believe know her better than most of my friends.
You've known her for two months, two weeks of which she was on vacation for, and you live a train journey apart (not nearby), and more recently she is uncomfortable and seems distant with you.

Don't bullshit me with how well you think you know her, you don't know the facts about her, you work from your own ideas about her, but don't know what her ideas and judgements are (because she is distant with you), you don't know her feelings or emotions either.
You purely have oneitis, you don't know her, there is no relationship, if there was, she wouldn't be uncomfortable with you and you wouldn't be asking 4chan for help because you don't know what is going on either.