I finally found what's not letting me plan ahead, now what?

Bump? I'd really like to hear your suggestions/opinions.

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You haven't accepted death because it still governs your choices, you were always going to die like everyone else, whether by being steamrolled through a variety of gruesome deaths or through a peaceful passing in your sleep. You'll have accepted death when you do things even without knowing if you'll be crushed to death the next day or killed in a mugging the day before the event.

Point is, if you're gonna die anyway why waste time making choices with it in mind? Just do things man, if you die then you die and you'll be done with life's game.

don't apologize for your English. it's very good.

>>18119102
>You haven't accepted death because it still governs your choices

I feel like it's governing my non-choices more than my choices.

>Point is, if you're gonna die anyway why waste time making choices with it in mind?

That's the problem.

>>18119112
Thanks! :)

>>18118952
Your odds of accidental death are quite low. Just count the amount of people who have died out of everyone you know. It's like 1% maybe. It's safe to say you will be alive in October so you should get ready for it. Want some fuck?

you sound exactly like the guy in mishima's confessions of a mask

maybe you should read it lol

>>18118952
You haven't accepted death, sounds more like a convenient excuse to avoid any sort of growth or advancement in your life. If you accepted it, it wouldn't constantly be an excuse to do nothing, and your attitude would be totally different.

People who've ACTUALLY accepted death (like the terminally ill) find great value in every waking moment. They're present in ways they've never been before, and while they're burdened with fear, they often become closer to their loved ones than they've ever been. It's beautiful in a morbid way. You just sound utterly consumed by fear of the world, and convinced of your own excuses

>frequently visit sick/dying people in hospitals as part of my work being sober
>also had mummy die of cancer

>>18119218
I'm sorry. I just couldn't find a better way to express it, I don't think my "acceptance" of death is in the same level as the real thing but it's just how I feel or at least the best way I can describe it with words.

Yes, maybe it is an excuse but it was not a really concious one until recently... but either way I just want to make my life better and I'm glad I found one of the reasons (even if it is not super clear yet).

I'm sorry for your loss and keep visiting those people who need others the most. Do you think it's a good idea for me to visit hospitals too? if yes, how do I do that?

>>18119237
I'm not sure how to. In AA we have an H&I (hospitals and institutions) program where we go to hospitals and jails.

I'm sure Google can be your friend.