How true is it that you need to 'love yourself before someone

>>18117867
I honestly find myself in the same situation. I've interpreted the old "love yourself before loving someone else" adage in an alternative way of caring about myself and setting long term objectives for myself. I still hate myself with a burning passion, but at least now I've found some sort of way in my life and stuff I can care about beyond a relationship, and would probably be able to enjoy one without being utterly destroyed once it's over.

I think feeling the need to be in a relationship to validate themselves is a misguided way to think. Relationships require a lot of time, effort, and patience to work. The less you keep this in mind, the more likely you'll either end up in a bad relationship with someone who's batshit crazy, or end up way too attached too early and ruin it. Definitely don't put it on a pedestal.

To put it into perspective, a relationship is a lot like having a 60 hour a week job that pays six figures. The results can make you happy, but there are times to where you will question if it's really worth all the trouble.

>>18117867
Its more like "love yourself so someone else can love you", because if think yourself as a loser no one will give a shit about you (i'm assuming that you are male). Go alpha or go home, like they say.

But if can get a relationship even hating yourself, well, that was a very luck shot. Go on with that.

I feel the same way too OP.

Whenever I'm in a relationship I have great confidence and life feels worth living. Especially recently, life has been incredibly boring, I'm sexually frustrated (More than two years without sex or love) and I feel little hope no matter what I tell myself. I absolutely despise having to have someone else to feel at my best. I want to be great without needing a woman, but I absolutely love being in love, and being with a woman.

good question, i've been thinking about it as well

Its a 100% sense true in the sense that any relationship you'll build while being depressed will be inevitably ruined by your depression

That saying doesn't actually mean no one can get temporarily infatuated with you, but you'll dispell whatever illusion they're under after less than a few months, and they'll either grow to resent you for being a sad sack of shit or get bored with you.

Relationships can't make you happy, relationships only make sense if you're satisfied with your life but want to take things to another level

Otherwise just look for one night stands and fuck buddies and for the love of god don't get emotionally attached.

>>18117867
>can't get over the feeling that my life would be greatly improved if I were in a relationship. I feel like my confidence would soar
>I feel like there's something wrong with me that I can't fix until someone loves me

These are feelings that you need to address before getting into a relationship OP. I strongly hold the "if you can't love yourself how in the hell are you gonna love someone else" belief. You're a whole person before getting into a relationship. How are you supposed to provide someone with support when you can't support yourself? Ultimately you're an adult and can decide to go into a relationship without this but I would highly recommend against that because it's not fair to the other person.

>>18117867
stop trying to get someone to love your shitty half assed self. strive to be your best self and people will come into your life.