Film crew is pissed at me

Okay, first of all ditch the paranoia.

No one SET THIS UP. This is just what happens.

Secondly, it is like teaching kind of. They say the first day influences the whole year. Well, I don't agree with that fully, but underlings don't accept it when a softie turns into a hardass over night. They WANT a softie to walk all over and they are sure you are under there somewhere because they saw it.

Since it is Friday, I recommend you take the weekend to recoup. Read some books on leadership and communication skills, figure out the type of air you want to project, and come back and PROJECT. Without weakness or lashing out when someone finds a chink in your armor.

At least they all had the weekend to get their minds fuzzy and on Monday you can surprise them but you MUST ACT LIKE THIS IS HOW YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN. In other words, you must become this persona if you going to succeed.


A teacher that is scared or wants to be buddies with the students can't simply pretend to be in charge while secretly feeling powerless. He or she must actually fully adopt the persona of authority. Otherwise it won't hold up.

I don't have a tough persona, I thought if I tried it will look fake and make things worse. But now that I see too many people trying to test me on a film set, sizing me up to see if I deserve my position and respect. Not being able to project self-confidence is a huge weak point and to my surprise people do take it seriously more than whatever help you provide. I spent my time trying to get people and actors to see each other as the same but end of the day I get bitten. Like how director treats actors differently based on their name. I thought maybe it's best to try a smaller independent production instead and find self confidence there.

>>18115460
I suffer from a lot of your same issues, and after a lot of failure, I have to tell you the ONLY way you can succeed is to find a professional persona that works for you. I am not telling you to be a fake tough guy, but you MUST find a source of real authority that you can manifest. Some of the scariest bosses aren't tough guys, they are strong and silent types.

You need to find a self that you can feel authentic in that is also going to get the results.

Trying to be yourself won't work. I wasted a lot of time and good opportunities "being true to myself" when really I lacked self-confidence and I was so afraid of failing that I never stepped outside of my comfort zone.


There are lots of good books on the subject, you can pop into your local bookstore, even your local grocer or Walmart likely has a decent book on communicating or being a leader. Take the advice.

I read art of the deal and how to make friends influence people. But it only made me self aware of my mistakes rather than be someone respected for who they are. My father is bad socially and took all these negative qualities from him, it's very hard to break from it.

>production assistant
you mean the coffee bitch?

>>18115689
Those are just excuses.
Try a book on communicating with confidence. You aren't trying to make a deal here.

>>18115385
You're PA, you're literally the slave of all these people.

The skeleton of communication is negotiation, unless you want to talk for the hell of it. I don't know any communication books other than the ones on persuasion. PA is more than slave, and more than extras.

How do I make people see me as a professional and not an aspie ?

I liked this book: https://www.amazon.com/How-Communicate-Confidence-Mike-Bechtle/dp/0800788346/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1489179794&sr=8-2&keywords=communicate+with+confidence

Also this book, although it is more related to giving reports, but it does talk about authentically embodying your performance
Steal the Show: From Speeches to Job Interviews to Deal-Closing Pitches, How to Guarantee a Standing Ovation for All the Performances in Your Life Paperback – October 18, 2016
by Michael Port (Author)
For negotiating, try Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life Paperback – August 14, 2012
by Stuart Diamond (Author)

>>18115385
Exactly what do you do? You take orders from your boss and carry them out. Also extras are not important, and there is a hierarchy. You can treat people with respect but if they don't return the favor know who you don't have to respect.

Okay but how about work politics, the do's and don'ts? I pretty much get sabotaged or undermined all the time. Like how I said in op, it looks like a set up.

>I was told not to do something at my job because X would happen
>X happens
>this must be a setup to make me listen to my seniors
you're fucking retarded

>>18116284
be less crazy all the time

>>18116275

Sure, I didn't know much beforehand. I just thought extras were same as actors. I pretty much lose people's respect all the time since highschool, only thing that stopped that is when I remind them the consequences of their actions. That's why I focus on negotiation, it makes you realize the cards you have. >>18116275

>>18116288
I don't know, people do go to great lengths to prove they are right.

>>18116291

How am I crazy?

>>18116316
people also try to give their new coworkers helpful advice.

>>18116320
sabotage just isn't that common and you talk like only a crazy person would.

>>18116362

Well it doesn't make a difference, maybe I get too paranoid sometimes believing the whole world is working against me, now that is real crazy talk. The reality is I repeat same mistakes wherever I go. People aren't comfortable around the socially anxious types like me and that snowballs into all kinds of work related problems

>>18116403
thinking people are out to get you is not social anxiety, it's paranoia. Of course nobody is comfortable, they act normal and you're acting like they're trying to fuck you all the time. you're looking out is all wrong. they're your coworkers, this should not be an adversarial relationship, negotiating is only rarely necessary because your goals are the same.

>>18116417

Ya I understand that logic, but I don't know how to act to make it clear I'm on their side with same goals. I end up doing it wrong.

>>18115385
Transfer over to the editing/ post production. .

>>18117554

I would like to because I know editing, but would like to be filmmaker/writer someday.