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I'm mentally ill as fuck and it's gotten to the point

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I'm mentally ill as fuck and it's gotten to the point where I have to isolate myself in public because I can't hold back on having a suicidal breakdown. I have a therapist but she keeps cancelling on me. My first appointment is supposed to be today at 1pm (it's 2am now) but she'll probably cancel again.
I feel like I'm going out of my mind. All I can think about is quitting my drop, dropping out of school, never talking to anybody again, and just locking myself away because I feel bad that anybody has to deal with me and my breakdowns.
Is there any way to deal with this sort of feeling? I feel guilty talking to friends about this (and when I do, they ignore me lol), and my therapist is a bust. Or am I better off kay em essing
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>>18114973
Try to find another therapist? Why continue scheduling with someone who is un reliable when their job is literally to be there for you (in a sense)?

It's an old question, but do you exercise regularly? Do you eat well? Do you socialize or spend time learning or creating anything? If you answered no to any of those, fix that.

I hope you can find the help you need.
>>
Ask her to recommend someone who is more reliable. Explain that you're in a really bad place and really need someone who can stick to the appointments. That or just cancel and find someone else.
You need help friend.
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>>18114973
>I have a therapist but she keeps cancelling on me.

So fire her. Demand a new one who will show up. You are the buyer here (even if you're not paying) and you have a right to get what was promised you.
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