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I want to know if my frustration is justified.
Backstory.. Have a very good friend.. Whom I love dearly but she has always had annoying double standards. The biggest one, is that she won't drive anywhere to see friends. Always tries to make them come to her. This is a problem, as 3 years ago I moved to a town a half hour away from her. I drive to her town almost every week to see her.. She has come to my town maybe 20 times in the 3 years I've lived here. She will always make up dumb excuses or just straight up say no. I've pretty much reached my wits end with it and am no longer willing to spend all my time and money seeing her with no appreciation or effort on her end.
Anyways, the current problem.. On Friday she asked me to come to her town to hangout. I said I am not coming to her town but if she would like to come to mine, I'm down to hangout. She said she can't come to my town, as she has work early the next morning. Which is bullshit, so I'm already irritated. She never works earlier than 11am and her shifts are usually only 3-4 hours long. Plus she never goe to bed before 4am anyways.. Even if she has to be up for 7am.
I also don't understand how, if she doesn't have time to come to my town (because she has to get up early and thus we can't hangout long) why she thinks I would want to drive to her town to only hangout for a short period of time? That to me, says that she believes her time/money to be worth more than mine.. Or at the very least is just very illogical.
Anyways sure enough.. She stays up until 7am.. And at 6am is sending me videos of her and some mutual friends and telling me how much fun they're having. She stayed out until 3-4am. So clearly, she did infact have time to drive to my town.. But didn't want to (surprise surprise). Anyways, I'm upset about this.. I feel justified in being upset, and friends I've spoke to also think I'm justified.. However she does not seem to understand or care at all.
Thanks for reading/offering opinions.
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>>18113692
Of the incident you described she invited you first. How often do you initiate plans with her, or simply invite her over. Do you go out if your way to be a good host and try to plan a fun evening? How often do you try and set something up in advance? Do you drive back to your old town just to visit her once a week or are there other people that you see or things that bring you around?
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>>18113692
If you don't wanna go, then don't go. Do things around you, if she wants to join, she can make the effort. If you want to keep up then go see her once in a while, every other month or so. No biggie
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>>18113692
>>18113722
Also, she sounds like a pain in the ass. Would not put much effort into that friendship
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