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Anonymous
I'm basically just whining 2017-03-09 09:00:42 Post No. 18112378
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I'm basically just whining 2017-03-09 09:00:42 Post No. 18112378
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This entire thread will be me whining and complaining about my situation. It's pretty pathetic actually, but who cares it's an anonymous basket weaving forum.
My health is going to shit, I've been shitting blood for the last few months and ignored it because I'm retarded. Now I've started randomly throwing up, currently waiting on the results from the docs, they told me it could be cancer and that I should be prepared for that diagnosis. Cancer at the age of 20, what a fucking life.
I'm still a semi-kissless virgin, I've lost all friends years ago by being retarded and I push away everyone who is approaching me. And of course I still can't stop thinking of the one girl that I ever "loved" even though I am absolutely aware that she's not actually how I imagine her. I glorified and idealised her beyond belief because she was the first person to actually show me affection and to get me out of my misery for a little while.
I'm kinda staying afloat in University but if this keeps going on I'll fail my courses miserably. I have no motivation to do any of this, I literally just want to stay in bed. Hell, I'm lacking the motivation to play video games or to watch TV on most days, it's too much effort for me. I'm a complete failure as a human being.
Maybe the whole cancer thing isn't too bad after all, I could never kill myself because that would crush my family and especially my mother. But simply dying off through cancer could be convenient. I say that now but I also know that I'm shitting my pants over the diagnosis.
What do I know, I'm just some retard on the internet.
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>>18112378
Real question: How is your family life right now?
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If it is cancer, you can still get treated. Experimental treatments today have overwhelmingly large success rates, so you may be safe in the cancer department. As for the rest, just try to make a list of things you want to do to become better, write it on paper, and post it on your door/wall and try to follow it. Start it easy and get started. You can always make new friends and there are millions of women out there, and I am sure another one will look attractive to you.
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>>18112404
Well my father died from cancer when I was 9.
My grandparents (his parents) aren't doing well in regards to health, she probably has dementia or Alzheimer's or something similar and he has heart issues. We used to get along really well but they have both changed drastically over the last few years, we still visit them but it's more of a chore than anything else really.
My other grandparents, well she is abusive and has been her whole life (to her husband and her kids). He doesn't really care anymore and just lives for his dog. I get along fairly well with them for some reason.
I see my mother regularly and I love her but lately it's been exhausting talking to her. Again, it feels like a chore.
I have 2 sisters, we get along great.
I don't see the rest of my family.
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