To all the depressed lonely men

>>18112104

a lot of people like being depressed. claiming their lives have no meaning is what gives their lives meaning

>>18112104
>typical baseless "HOPING that things will get better with time and effort" mindset

It did for me.

>>18112131
How long did it take, what happened, and what did you do?

>>18112104
Hobbies, going public places, thinking...just sitting quiely thinking, watching tv, cutting grass, fixing things around the house, feeding and petting cat, cooking, working, and making time to hate my circumstance anyway knowing I'm doing pretty okay compared to people doing far worse than me, yet still knowing it could be better.

I go out and take photographs sometimes, read philosophy and work on programming projects

>Escapism is key

I started going to therapy, and decided to lose weight.

Now I'm down 40 lbs and have a perfection complex so my confidence is shattered and my trust issues with women prevent me from even talking to them unless I have to.

gg

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Life keeps dangling that tiny sliver of hope in front of my eyes. I know it'll likely not get much better, but as long as that little sliver is there, that 'what if', I feel I have no other choice than to keep going. Killing myself isn't even an option.

>>18112107
Then they are not depressed, as depression implies the inability to be able to enjoy anything.

>>18112212

t actually just implies a chemical imbalance that makes it hard to, not a strict inability.

>>18112104
maybe it gets better as long as I stay away from the social scene...

>>18112142
I made the decision to stop being a worthless NEET. When I started, I had no references and no recent work history. After about a year, I went from doing menial jobs to working a salaried job at an office in front of a computer all day.

>>18112104
Cowardice. I hate living but I'm too weak to kill myself and too weak to change. I try to look for worthwhile things that aren't friends and aren't women (not that I've found them).

>>18112104
I struggle with my crap every single hour of the day with no exception so i just sleep the shit outta it.

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v i d e o g a m e s

I don't know, I really don't care about life but I don't leave or try to improve.

Guess i'm comfortably enough to just sit here and waste.

>>18112104
Probably because people already expect me to kill myself, so I'll just do the opposite to spite them.

I have good dreams so being awake is just a requirement to getting back to sleep

>>18112104
fear of death

>>18112104
I just find nothing interesting, or no one. But I don't want to hurt my family by killing myself, so I bore myself out with video games and pretend I'm fine. I try to convince myself that eventually something or someone of interest will pop up so I can do something with my life.

>>18112104
Literally just family obligations.

Ironically, if it was just me, I might be taking more risks.

I've only been dealing with these feelings for 8 months or so but I started tanning (I'm incredibly pale) and honestly feel great after I do it. Stupid, but a small thing that makes my day slightly better...

>How do you live with yourselves? What keeps you going

The fact that I know it will pass and I'll get another gf at somepoint here, always happens.

My work

Writing music

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>>18112104
I fear death
I hate videogames but I play them because that's all I've done for the past 20 years and I play them until I get tired and fall asleep, thus delaying suicide another day.
My roommate strongarmed me into getting antidepressants. It was weird feeling things again. I asked out and was subsequently friendzoned by a girl. So I'm back at square one except I still feel somewhat and I miss the dull haze of being depressed. Once the lease is up I'll probably get an apartment by myself so I can stop taking them.
But I guess it was interesting to have about two months of not thinking about how great it would be if I could muster up the courage to kill myself.
Also, I guess in highschool and a little while after it I hoped life would be like one of the shitty animes I watched and a cute girl would come out of nowhere, fall in love with me for some reason and and then we could live happily together. So that forced me to stay alive a bit. And that sort of lends itself to the non-answer you were hoping to avoid. Despite how much I hate myself and the world around me, as long as I see a tiny sliver of hope I bet everything on it. Though temporarily reversing my decision to resign to being single for the rest of my life has dampened that a bit, so with that and quickly approaching 30 I might finally off myself.

>>18112104
I've always wondered why the man from Notes from Underground never killed himself.

>>18114766
Wow you sound more bitter than me.

>>18112159
Basically the same. Escapism is a beautiful thing

>>18114786
What reason to I have to not feel bitter? Nothing has ever gone right for me. All of my remaining friends are more successful than me and continue to find further success while I just stagnate, barely getting by and whenever I try to improve or change or anything it ends in failure and I often end up worse off than if I had just done nothing.

I honestly don't know if I want happiness or death more.

>>18112104
I've never had suicidal thoughts before but I noticed recently that I have thought a lot mote what you said
>"what's the point of living if there's life currently sucks"

But then I start thinking that things really aren't as bad as my mind makes it. Honestly, I've come to a realization that things can get better, I just have to make them better. It won't get better on it's own. I have been approving my social life a little bit and while I think I've been born a closed, introverted guy, I do appreciate the ability to talk to all ranges of people at work or outside it and then appreciate the ability to get back home and thoroughly enjoy alone time. I've come to learn that alone time isn't a bad thing, it's just the way I am.

Idk, it's just learning the balance that has kept me going. If I never took that step to become more equipped with outside skills, enjoying people's company even if some of the interactions are meaningless, and enjoying work and all the emotions it comes with, even if it may be negative, I probably would have ended it.

Something out there is worth living for. You just have to find it.

>>18112104
>24 years old
>Good paying job
>Got into good school for masters (company is paying)
>No gf

Things are going good for me but none of this shit makes me truly happy. I'm secretly depressed all the time and don't trust anyone. The only thing stopping me from killing myself is the grief that it would cause my parents

>>18112104
I still have a dream to chase. Lifting helps a little, but the thought of a woman wanting me seems so impossibly foreign I just can't even summon the energy to try. Maybe if I had better friends I wouldn't feel bad

I dream/hope I will be able to make more of a positive contribution than the emptiness of suicide. I live for others.

Trade in your depression for anger. Rage at life and fucking fight it, don't let it take you from behind. Achieve things. Throw a dart at a career dartboard and follow that career path. Don't chase your happiness, chase opportunity. You work your hands to the bone from 20 to 30 and reap the benefits after. Don't forget to learn a lot of skills or knowledge, too, just have something to say in a conversation and people will like you.

It's hard but it's worth as fuck.

>>18112104
My anxiety rate now is 10/10, and my depression is 8/10.

I feel very fucked up. I hate my SO and all their fucking baggage. I married young; at 21. Our marriage was never truly accepted in both families. My SO doesnt not listen to me and is very illogical; spends money carelessly, has blood sucking family members, and is lazy. I can't stand them anymore. I really want a big truck to run over my little doge neon while I'm inside.

I really want to die right now. I can't fucking stand it. My SO is so selfish. I work two jobs AND go to school full time. Not to mention both my jobs are very high stressed (medical hospital(RN) and psych hospital).

I'm only 24 but I feel like I'm 60 years old. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I hate this life. Please help me

>>18114841
Are you me? Minus the masters degree.

By complete luck I did end up in a long-term relationship with someone I loved once, and I learned enough about myself to know that although I'd rather be in a relationship than completely alone, I'll be kind of miserable no matter what, and to assume loneliness is the root of the problem was a serious mistake that I don't want to make again.

In fact, right after she dumped me and I felt that post-dump drive to self-improvement, I was probably the happiest I've ever been.

So how I live with myself is: I find things I like to do on my own and I try not to give in to social pressure because that will make me externalize and outsource my "salvation" to an eventual romantic, professional or social event.

And this is the lesson I think every tfw no gf dude needs to learn: when you're that type, that outcast kind of introvert type, things will eventually start to look bleak again no matter how many good things you end up achieving. Don't become too dependent on outside forces to help you, focus instead on coming up with a series of hobbies, activities and interests to outmaneuver the melancholy and depression that is probably inherent to you.

>>18112104
Self preservation instincts and pain is the only thing stopping from killing myself. Maybe I'll over come that one day.

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>>18115209
This is the thing I should have heard today. Much thanks.

Can't put the burden of my family members.
If it would have just effected me, who knows if I'd still be here.
But I couldn't go thru with it knowing how much pain they'd be in.

Because at least it can be interesting.

>>18112104
>How do you live with yourselves?
Inertia and habit.

>What keeps you going and not fully allow yourselves to be done in by the despair that is your extremely less than ideal situation and mental state in life?

Waiting from my grandparents and parents to die so I can kill myself without upsetting anyone,

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>>18112589
This.

I read this analogy some time ago. It said that life is like a movie. A movie that is not bad enough for me to get up and leave the cinema, but it isn't good enough to keep me at the edge of my seat. I'm just watching it because I have nothing better to do.

>>18112159
Also this.

>>18115243
>Inertia

I really like that answer.

Being alone I tend to observe others, and although it's obvious to everyone to a certain extent, society is inherently unfair and it favors the rich, strong and beautiful (in that order). What isn't quite as obvious is the passive forces and the fact a lot people tend fuck themselves over.
Apparently the world is even more fucked than before yet people seem to be partying harder than ever.

>>18112104
>How do you live with yourselves? What keeps you going and not fully allow yourselves to be done in by the despair that is your extremely less than ideal situation and mental state in life?

you just described me in a nutshell with the second half of that

Light Background:
My life has been hell since the very beginning, even my birth was a stupid mistake that shouldn't have happened (dad was married and cheating with mom, legitimately *decided* to have me). Shit family, shit friends, shit parents, shit childhood, shit luck, shit everything. Yes I know there's people in this world that have it far worse than me, but that doesn't make living my life any easier for me. Each persons hell is uniquely designed for them.

Answer:
Honestly, I always say "I don't know" and have had the "why am i even trying" attitude for my entire life, but recently I've accidentally come to a bit of a realization that answers this exact question; "Regardless of how bad things are/always turn out for me, I've never actually *failed* to accomplish a goal"

The bad luck/karma/opportunity/emotions beat and slow me down, yes. However, for any goal i've continued to chase, I always inch closer to success until it is finally obtained. I've never actually reached a point where a goal is no longer achievable ie total failure

This keeps me moving, because I realize I *can* accomplish whatever it is I'm after, it's just a slow, painful process.

>>18112104
Because there's more to life than what other people can give you. It's not optimal but it's still ok... better than some normies for sure.

>>18112104

Multiverse theory, mate.

Everyimte I get pissed off, I stick a knife to my wrist, give myself the choice between life or death.

At this point the timeline splits into two possibilities; in one, I kill myself, in another I live.

Each time I choose life, knowing it will cause the other timeline me to choose death.

I force other-timeline me to kill himself every time I get pissed off.
Take that universe, you can shit on me all you want but I'll shit on an even worse version of myself harder than you ever could.

Just kidding, though I entertain the possibility of suicide, it's never ruled out. Not because I'm depressed (I'm not) but because I find it comforting to know there is an "out" if shit ever gets too bad.

>>18112104
Most depressed people feel like shit, but always seem to have juuust enough motivation to keep their life going. You never see a homeless guy on the street go 'im homeless bc I'm depressed, lol'

Depression is a meme, even though I'm fantastically depressed as well. I'm at least at the point where I recognize that my subconscious is managing and keeping it from getting out of hand. I'll always be able to make it to work the next day, if only barely. It's stupid but it's true.

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>>18112104
Lonely guy here
The past two years I've been alright until the summer when I broke down and cried in private because I realised I was still a kissless virginfag. I used to be an extrovert until I left Chicago, and it sunk that shit will never be the same. Theres nothing physically wrong with me, I'm not fat or jacked or skinny, my face is fine I suppose, but people tell me I always look sad. People even pitied me, and I just told them to fuck off. My grades in college are slipping now, and I thought about killing myself recently. Save yourself when you're young, I'm not sure if there's any hope for a kissless virgin.
If there is please fucking help me

>>18112104
I have this fantasy of just 'breaking out'. Just one day leaving without telling any of my friends or family and start the life I want to live somewhere else. Maybe I'd contact them after 3 months, maybe they would never hear from me again. Not because I hate them, I just feel my entire life, everyone I know included, is making me depressed. This fantasy is so strong and I've had it so long, I actually thought about joining the foreign legion before I did my army year. Army and then uni surpressed this urge for about 1.5 year, but the whole last year, the more depressed I got, the stronger this urge became.

I have about 10k in the bank that will be available in a few months. The possibility of realizing this fantasy is what keeps me going, even though I'm terribly unsure if I could actually pull it of.

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>>18112104
>i was a huge fucking nerd in middle school, probably the most popular kid because everyone collectively made fun of me
>Sophmore year of highschool i started turning my life around and working out, practicing to talk and hiding my autism
>By senor year, i was attractive and masked my autism completely and girls were even offering to fuck me if i took them to prom
>freshman year of college i started dating the girl everyone wanted in highschool, huge tits cross country girl every fucking nerd was writing love letters to her
>i was fucking on top of the world man, parties every weekend, girls giving me numbers left and right even though i was taken
>sophomore year of college girl starts hanging out with dudes behind my back including her ex
>everytime i bring it up she crys and says im overthinking it
>Get deppresed because of this and start eating a lot
>get fat so friends stop talking to me
>girl leaves me for a dude she met at a concert because im fat and have no friends 4 months ago (junior year)
>kicked out college cause low grades from deppresion
>fat, stupid, and lonley, everytime i think about her with that guy i die inside
What keeps me going is knowing i turned a shitty life into something incredible, and that i know ill do it again, no matter how much i want to kill myself right now. you could do the same thing if you put in the effort
>TL:DR i'm a huge faggot.

>>18115043
Maybe you should get a divorce.

>>18115043
You know once you're married you start calling her your wife, not your SO.

>>18112104
>What keeps you going
Hatred.

>>18112104
A good paying job and a few good friends. These are the only things motivating me really aside from games and stuff but what I really could use is a girlfriend.
Ever since school I kind of just "fell" into relationships and it was great. 6 years and still going since my last girlfriend and unfortunately I don't know any single girls in my life now.
The easiest solution is to quit my current job and find another in search of someone but it's finding something good and just getting out of my comfort zone really.
In short, I'm thankful for what I have and that keeps me going but could really use someone to hold again.

>>18112104
I love my parents, and seeing as they've spent the last 22 years of their lives entirely dedicated to my well-being, I feel like I don't want them to feel bad about me. So I hide, I hide that I'm not even slighty interested in my major, every day I spend on university is either sad or boring, I hide that I've never had any deep relationship with anyone, not a true friend in all those yeras, I also hide that Ive never even had a shallow relationship with a girl, never went on a date, never even kissed someone hanging out on some party or club. I realized I'm headed into assured self destruction by living like this, but I'm too much of a coward to face those things, so they just pile, up, and pile up, and everyday I feel more aloof and disconnected from everything , my life slowly drifting ever farther away from it's tracks. Like the world's slowest train crash. And then I remember how good I have it, how so many people around me had shitty parents or even dead ones, no opportunities, no education, which makes me feel like I'm even more of a lazy privileged fuckhead whose problems are meaningless. Of course, that makes it even worse. Hey look,I made it all about myself again, nice! Hey, does self depreciating myself for knowing I'm making it all about me makes me a better person? Nah, I'm just a selfish asshole who thinks being self-conscious makes him better than everyone else. But does acklowledging THAT make it less worse?..... In this infinite self-deprecating and then ego-boosting loop.

>>18114817

At least you have friends. Imagine going through everything you're going through only completely alone and there's no one who cares about you enough to even try to help like your friends did.

>>18112104 (OP) #
I'm in great fear of death, also don't want harm my family.

What keeps me going? Probably idea that One day everything will change. That I will have my own home, kid and good paid job, I will find friends who will care about me and stuff like that. I'm living in imaginary world, and I'll do my best to make it true. Because I want get rid of everyday thoughts that I can easily end my suffering.

>>18112104
It's doing what you like Anon, a hobby you truly enjoy, and living in it, for me, it's Football (S). I'm working towards recovering from my injury, that's what moves me day to day.

I'm not by any means, a special subject, i'm a normal guy that just lives day to day without overthinking it, focusing on what you like and what you want to do, i don't have any friends or someone to love, but frankly i don't feel like i need any of these, i got objectives and no time to waste

I work out now. IT helps so much. You feel so much better after that

>>18116690
Wow that was actually a little inspirational.

>>18112104

My situation in life has improved, my mood has not, but overall it's better now

Also I switched from weed abuse to alcoholism. Hangovers when I ocverdose is annoying, but I have far less anxiety and my brain works faster

Because at least I'm wealthy and successful.

>>18115043

Get the divorce, pay the stupid tax but watch all that anxiety go away. Live within your means, improve your life.

You can't give up on small obstacles.

>>18112104
Target shooting in my basement with a pellet rifle is all the fun I have nowadays. Is a simple and inexpensive hobby that is a good distraction from the meaninglessness of life.

There girl i known for 7 years is gonna move one to something better then me.

I just do whatever shit I have to/want to do...
but I become anxious every fucking friday night, and I keep reminding myself how retarded I am...

>>18115043
do you have kids?
if not, save some money and just leave her. perhaps you could leave the country after telling her to fuck off

I chainsmoke. I chainsmoke and listen to a lot of music. Depression manifests itself in me as apathy and dreadfully low energy. I lost my job recently. Even the things that I unconditionally enjoy are really hard. As a result, I spend a great deal of time doing nothing. I also have problems sleeping. Even though I spend roughly 20 hours a day in front of a computer, I really don't end up achieving much. I really hate it.

I just focus enough on my studies, hobbies and job to stop caring about anything else. It's not really helping me socialize, though.