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How do you ask someone out in the first place? What do you say!?

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How do you ask someone out in the first place? What do you say!? I see people pick up dates with randos like it's nothing and I don't even know how to do it with a friend.

Do you guys have any examples of what to say to ask a girl out?
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I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.
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>>18109642
TIt's not WHAT you sa. It's the fact that you're saying it.

My most successful line was always, "Hey, how're you doing?- My name is ____, would you be interested in going to ddinner sometime?"

I also always did so in person. It has a better impact than in some shitty dating app or on facebook.

When I was a teen/in my twenties, I spoke to countless girls. Whenever I was rejected, I was rejected and contacted girls later for a platonic hangout, which is a good source of female friends, which can give you good contacts for other relationships

Develop a personal style and approach to dating, and you will go far.
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>>18109642
>its like a magnet

This. You will get the vibe. You will know.
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>>18109691
What asking someone out who is already your friend?
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>>18109689
Believe me
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Think: What a non-weird person would do?
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I asked a girl out the other day. I literally said something like "Hey, I'm going to an art gallery for a uni project this weekend, do you want to come with me? I'll buy you food" and she umm'd and ah'd and so I said "I can find someone else if you aren't interested" and then she said alright.
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>>18109706
That's not a date though..
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>>18109698
I have not had much success with this, but I'll tell you how I would approach it.

Use the fact that you're friends to your advanrage. Just ask them if they would like to go see a movie or have dinner alone. If the question of whether it's a date comes up, say, "yeah, that's my intent", and keep it light hearted.

Don't give off the impression that you're looking for a serious relationship. With a friend it should just be hanging out, having a good time, and just "putting the ball in your court".

How would you define your current relationship with your friend?
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>>18109708
It's used ad an icebreaker you shut in NEET
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>>18109708
Why isn't it? Sounds like one to me.

If he's going to have one on one time with her and he's buying her food, that's a date. It's not a particularly personal one, but it's still a date.

It's an opportunity to get some alone time between them.

The "But is it really a date?!" Question is just a meme perpetrated by shitty romance on TV.
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>>18109719
Not the anon you're replying to but
>I said "I can find someone else if you aren't interested" and then she said alright
Makes it pretty un-datey
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>>18109735
Not really.

"If you can't go, that's fine. I'll ask a different girl if they'd like to go. I would like to have a date for this event, and I have multiple people I can select from, one of which is you.
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>>18109743
Is it an event? I just interpreted
>I'm going to an art gallery for a uni project this weekend
to mean that he was just going to go to look at the art for a project. And if it was for an event, asking someone to it and ending it with "I can find someone else if you aren't interested" implies that you're not asking out of romantic interest, it implies that you're asking because you just need someone to go with. So in either situation, it's not really datey
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>>18109746
M'kay. I see where you're coming from, and I think it would have to do a lot with whatever vibes are going on between people.

That being said, she should get the impression that it's a date. Young people seem to have gotten greedy with how they define going out to stuff together.

If it's two people that could one day possibly fuck, then it can be perceived as a date. It might be a shitty date, but it's a date. It feels like somewhere along the timeline we gave the power of "deciding whether it really is a date" to the person that got asked. As if we could somehow save the virtue and desirability of that person by saying, "Oh... That wasn't a date... She was just hanging out alone with that ugly guy."

Dating has also taken this turn towards "super serious, end all be all". Are young people that go out on a single date considered a couple nowadays, or something?
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>>18109767
As a girl, whether I understood it was intended to be a date or not would really depend on how well I knew the guy. Either way, the whole "I can go with someone else" is not a good sign: it either indicates that it's not a date, or that he doesn't like me specifically or that I'm a backup or whatever.
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>>18109782
Nah - just that you might be first but not only choice ...
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>>18109786
Is that supposed to make me feel special? "You're my preference but I don't really care if you say no"?

Like I said: it's not a good sign in either circumstance
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>>18109782
I think there are a lot of social aspects at play that don't really mesh well with conversation through 4chan. But I will say that you're not wrong!

I'd like to sit down with a bunch of intelligent people that are still in the dating game and kind've discuss the modern social landscape.

Define a date. Like, if you were gonna write out a list of legitimate rulings for what a date is, what would they be?
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>>18109792
>Define a date. Like, if you were gonna write out a list of legitimate rulings for what a date is, what would they be?
See, I don't think you can. It's a matter of a bunch of factors, like how well the parties know each other, how it is proposed, what is proposed, how the parties act on it etc. A bunch of signs add up to overall indicate whether something is a date or not. If you get enough 'points' to cross an imaginary threshold, then it's a date. Otherwise, it's not. Some things make it more datey, some things make it less datey, and some things have more of an effect than others.

But it's also less mechanical than that. Like any other social situation, we don't sit and consciously gauge things, we just get a 'feel' for the situation.

Does that make sense? If it doesn't, I can use an example to explain what I mean.
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>>18109788
It could be a ploy to make the girl jealous. The execution was pretty fucking horrid though.
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>>18109802
Unless the girl was desperate or already in love with you, that's not going to make anyone jealous.
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>>18109802
Agree
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>>18109800
No example needed (Unless you'd like to give one).

I think this is a good example of how men and women's minds work differently, but for the better. For men, it's just a yes or no sort of thing. For women it's a question with different degrees of yes or no. And that's okay!

The whole question of how the initial invitation was kind of interesting. You just have to be honest and upfront with a prospective partner. (Or, at least that's my take on it.) To me, a girl is just a pretty face/body/voice until I get to know her more. That's what the date is for. That might not seem like the most romantic thing, but that is the truth. And it's the same for anyone. When you first see someone, you don't know howuch you want to invest in them unless they're good looking.

It's also good to demonstrate that you're the kind of guy that's playing the field and getting out there. "I would really like to go with you, but don't feel bad if you say no. I'll still be out there having a good time."
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>>18109821
Don't get me wrong, I still think making it clear it's a date is the best way. While people are social creatures and most people are more than capable of taking social hints, we do get things wrong sometimes.

>When you first see someone, you don't know howuch you want to invest in them unless they're good looking.
How do you feel about situations when you already know someone then? My boyfriend and I were friends for a few years before he asked me out, and most couples I know were at least acquaintances before they started dating.

>It's also good to demonstrate that you're the kind of guy that's playing the field and getting out there. "I would really like to go with you, but don't feel bad if you say no. I'll still be out there having a good time."
See, that has the opposite effect. It makes the other person think that you're unimportant to them or that they couldn't care less about you, and when you're approaching someone with romantic interest, that's the opposite of what you want. Plus, I just don't think it's necessary to say. Most normal, well-adjusted people DO have other things going on in their lives, you don't need to mention it and it kind of sounds like they're trying to convince themselves more than anyone else, if I'm being honest.
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>>18109830
>It makes the other person think that you're unimportant to them or that they couldn't care less about you
Whoops, switched the subject halfway through that sentence. What I mean to say is that saying something like that makes the other person think that they're unimportant to you and that you couldn't care less about them, not the other way around.
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>>18109830
>What about relationships with people you already know?
Yeah, I thought about mentioning this in one of my earlier posts, but I didn't. If you're asking someone that you already have an established background with on a date, then you have a lot more to go off of. Like you mentioned in your last post, you have a lot more of a basis to decide the intentions of the individuals on. Knowing more about the person and having a background with them can make them far more desirable.

>It makes the other person think they're unimportant.
You have to give the impression that they are only as important as a date on Saturday night. You may have to apply more or less empathy depending on your target.

>don't think it's necessary to say.
In some of the instances that I wrote that, I types it out at length to make a point. That's the general vibe you should give, not the word for word thing to say. Plus, we have time to sit and analyze it in written text. But if someone said it, it likely wouldn't have the exact impact.
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>>18109850
I got'chu, my Anonigga.
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>>18109850
Anon, you seem chill AF. You got Discord? We should become BFFs foreal
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