My ex left me for another guy 4 months ago. 2 days after our

>>18107913

Don't be friends. Trust me on this.

Cut ties dude. She wants you there to act just like you did when you were her boyfriend minus the sex. The first time she kisses him in front of you will feel like someone stabbed you.

Block her number and dint contact her no more.

>>18107913
>>18107934
>>18107934
>>18107934
>>18107934
This

Cut contact. Kick her to the curb. Never look back.

>>18107913
Do you not have any self respect?

>>18107913
Damn, I can't believe you degraded yourself by going to that movie with her. That's low man. You have my love and sympathy brother because you need it.

>>18107913
It's a lesson you learn the hard way, anon. I understand the inclination, but you're being dishonest with yourself. You wanted this girl in your life as more than friends and now you're kidding yourself by accepting some consolation prize of friendship.

Maintaining this ruse will only prolong your attachment to her when what you need to be doing is moving on, and it will only breed resentment and self-loathing. You will feel like a cuck.

tl;dr She can show you the door to the friendzone, but it's up to you whether or not you walk through it. Don't.

So I should just ignore any future texts from her? Or just turn it down politely? I guess the reason why I'm considering this friendship is because that's the only way to know if I have gotten over her? I'm not sure whether it will actually help mr move on or hinder it

I mean she kept getting really close to me, like leaning her head on my shoulder during the movie. And hugging me when we parted, and I noticed how she didn't use her phone to text anyone but when i was on mine, she will keep looking over at it really obviously

Just fuck her occasionally
Why are you making it complicated

>>18107913
One of the many differences between men and women is that women honestly and innocently believe they can dump you and still remain friends. There's nothing hypocritical or devious about it - they honestly think it can be done.

Most men, on the other hand, find a break-up so painful that they want to break off all contact and not be reminded of her.

You may find it possible to be friends with her now that it is over. But DO NOT hold any fantasies of rekindling the romance. That IS over in her mind.

No, keeping her around makes it harder. Cut contact.

There's nothing of value to gain from keeping around someone who hurt you like that. What you generally learn, in time, is that if someone wanted to leave you're better off without them. If you keep her around you, it keeps you stuck comparing how you're doing after the breakup vs how she is.

>>18108083
then i'd just feel like the guy who took her away from me. even though it's her choice in the end

>>18108085
>>18108089
thanks guys. it was really hard getting over her, and I guess this really does set me back even if i'm not feeling it immediately

Girls think that guys need to be gently let down, that's why she's apologising and staying friends. Partly because she thinks that's the nice way to do it, partly because she misses the attention from you.

I've heard from most people it's never a good idea to stay friends with exes, but it's up to you. If you think you can keep your emotions in check, go for it. If not, then no contact. I'd personally opt for the burn no bridge option and turn it down politely, but then be firm in the no contact.

I'm on talking terms with all my exes, but I don't actively hang out with any of them.

Exes can stay friends as long as they are both truly on the same page about it and don't have any romantic or resentful feelings leftover

Not saying that's common but it's possible

Girls think that guys need to be gently let down, that's why she's apologising and staying friends. Partly because she thinks that's the nice way to do it, partly because she misses the attention from you.

I've heard from most people it's never a good idea to stay friends with exes, but it's up to you. If you think you can keep your emotions in check, go for it. If not, then no contact. I'd personally opt for the burn no bridge option and turn it down politely, but then be firm in the no contact.

I'm on talking terms with all my exes, but I don't actively hang out with any of them.

Here's the thing... she started going out with the other guy before you two broke up. And as we all know, the grass is always greener...

Now she has had some exclusive time with this other guy and realizes he may not be the one, or even maybe YOU were the one. So she's keeping you warm in case new guy doesn't work out.

So you have two options. The first is to just cut all contact. Period. No replies to texts, nothing. If you want to be a nice guy and just text her and say you are moving on, that's fine but nothing more.

Second option is to just lead her along to fuck her. Just keep in mind that she's just a hole to use, nothing more.

I advise against this. First, new guy is probably fucking her and maybe someone else before he became "exclusive" when you were dropped. So at a minimum I'd get yourself tested for STD's.

Second, you will be putting a lot of effort into getting laid by someone you will need to dump eventually. You should put that effort into another girl.

Don't keep her around. I've been there and it's just not worth it Anon.

Thanks for all the replies, guys. i'll just distance myself from her and stop hanging out. this whole situation is really making me feel like shit so it's time to stop

>>18108169
not the dude, but what if you dont want your ex back and shes one of the most fun & interesting people to be around ? (and you usually dont meet that many.. )

>>18108190
So what do you become... the beta orbiter? the stalker? the guy hoping she changes her mind?

No. Just move on.

>>18108194
none of the above, I believe.
I tried to move on, a year of no contact (recently, the break up happened ages ago), but the new "friends" ive managed to (somehow) make are all pretty boring..

>>18108190
She isn't, there are other girls out there that are probably better and she's a cheating and manipulative hoe who will drain you of all that is good in you. But people have a fear of the unknown, and prefer to deal with the devil they know. Trust me I've been there.

Alot of posters here missed on this MAJOR point
>My ex left me for another guy 4 months ago

Let me tell you bro, I've had a very loving amazing relationship with my gf of a year and four months and she left me for another guy too, at 31st of October, so 4 months and 7 days ago - pretty damn similar situation to yours!

I've had a long conversation with her after she tried to break up with me and lied about why, she admitted that she wants someone else, I made sure to sit with her and see if she really wants this, when she was sure she does I told her that if she's got any respect for me, she won't contact me again unless I contact her first, I thanked her for her time and showed her the door. A very "No hard feelings" breakup but ofcourse there's hard feelings, she's just not there to see them, I don't see why I would try to make her feel guilty because of some urge to revenge, instead I just accept the fact that humans be human, alot of them are inconsistent and unreliable, and she's one of those.

She has been kind enough not to contact me since, my last message to her was in November so I haven't spoken to her since either, I'm not planning on doing that either, I don't resent, I even forgave her! but that's because grudges and negative feelings in general are bad.

Actions speak a thousand time louder than words do, and they also mean so much more; allowing her into your house and back into your life is essentially accepting her past actions against you and letting her feel comfortable in her relation to you. But the reality is, she has no place in your life, not as a friend, not as a girlfriend. Do NOT contact this girl again, she has nothing good to offer you, and completely ignore her advances - she'll get the message.

Good luck!