noko

Love is not a feeling that comes and goes. It's a commitment, devotion, and respect for a person that was started by that feeling. Many young people don't understand this.

>>18107526
Wow, thank you for the reply. I've never really thought of it that way. Honestly.. I feel disrespectful for staying because I don't share the same feelings as she does.

It's just I know she will be devastated. I'm one of her only few friends left. Perhaps it's good for her too, so she can find herself.

Currently I this situation and she is visiting now which I love. I love being with her. But she goes to college in another state so when she leaves I will have this feeling back.

Bumping for answers

>>18107522
Damn this is probably what my ex was thinking before he finally cheated on me last year.

>>18107526
This 2bqh. People take for granted the coziness of being with someone who still stick by your side despite all your flaws. Although breakups could be a good thing sometimes when you think the relationship is unhealthy and going nowhere.

>>18107546
Sounds like you misinterpreted his point.

He's saying love is something you have to work towards, if you expect to always be "in love " you will break up every time you leave the honeymoon phase. In this case he is saying that the fact you are no longer crushing on your gf is not a sign that you need to break up.

Now if you insist on getting with someone else, then it's time to break up. But everyone gets little crushes, you just have to ignore that feeling and stick with your s.o.

>>18107546
It's a very important lesson to learn. The fact of the matter is, you will start to lose feelings for EVERY person you're in a relationship with. It's just the nature of emotions. It's not going to really be any "better" with someone new, except for that short phase of pursuit and then "honeymoon" but that dying off is inevitable and you'll end up in the same place everytime. So you gotta find out how to make it work from there. That's your choice. Passions can be rekindled you just have to have good communication and be able to speak frankly about your feelings and issues. And building that up takes a lot of time and effort to just throw away on a new fling.

Not saying there's never any reason to ever break up but, just food for thought.

I'm so grateful for the anons in this thread. They can't be more right. I broke up with my girlfriend because I didn't think I loved her. I realized too late what love actually is and I do regret breaking up with her for my own selfish reasons but she's happy with someone else so I guess I did the right thing for her.