Is it possible to change a Submissive personality?

>>18106655
why has your dad being a "hard ass" made you submissive?

go through your past and figure out as much as you can

>>18106655
you slowly learned it now you have to slowly un-learn it

>>18106684
Yeah I should of gotten into more detail. I had a very classic Italian New York type dad that used belts, shoes, etc whenever I didn't do what I was told. When I was 9 he whipped me because I didn't eat a bowl of cereal. 14 he punched and kicked me when he saw me hitting my sister for stealing my DS games (probably understandable idfk anymore). A belt when I was 15 for knocking over a vase. Last time was when I was 17 for slamming my door as loud as a could. That last time I sort of lured him into it, in order to call the cops, then it never happened again. There are probably other examples, but those are the most prominent that I remember well.

>>18106701
So, start getting into bar fights, and smash cars?

>>18106707
how is you relationship with him now?

>>18106717
Better, he finally realizes I'm not a loser that sits on a PC all day, since I'm getting my CS major. We've had a few falling outs, but we always make up and it's mature.

>>18106722
>he finally realizes I'm not a loser that sits on a PC all day

you seem to still hold some resentment about him treating you badly, which is understandable, but have you spoken to him about the abuse and exactly how its affected you?

>>18106655

First, your post is so damn hard to read; i don't know exactly what you're saying.

I'm going to assume it's the following:

Your therapy-major sister asserts that one cannot change their [submissive] personality, and that submissiveness is a normal part of a relationship

In this case, i say bullshit to both. When i was a kid, I was very sensitive and got bullied a lot and never stood up for myself and was a people-pleaser. When I was a teenager, I hated myself and felt that I was not worth much.

Fast forward to now when I'm 24: I don't take shit from anybody. While don't go searching for it, I won't back down from conflict. While I'm very diplomatic, I don't mind inconveniencing other people if necessary. I think I'm a fine person.

Basically, i was weak-willed and servile as a kid, but now I'm strong-willed and more assertive as an adult.

Your character traits *can* change.

>>18106741
As effective as it would be, that would be awkward as fuck. A discussion like that would initially be very heated, and not end well. I wouldn't doubt he doesn't regret abuse, if anything he probably saw that as "the way". My parents have horrible knowledge of psychology and introspection, I don't even think I could begin to explain how it could of caused this.

>>18106755
>As effective as it would be, that would be awkward as fuck

You must face the chaos

>I wouldn't doubt
> if anything he probably
>I don't even think I could begin to explain how it could of caused this.

you clearly dread the idea, for a REASON

initiate the conversation, demand HE explains his actions.

that's all you need to do to be free, my friend

>>18106760
I'm saying there wouldn't be any reasons, he WOULDNT understand what I mean. Even if it was smooth sails, how would this help me be any less spineless?

I'm being helped by self righteous retards. Shameless bump

>>18106774
because you'd be standing up to the very thing that made you submissive? your emotional connection to him is still that of the abused child. doesn't matter how smooth it goes, ya just gotta do it

>>18106791
okay fag, keep avoiding your problems and just try to "fake it till you make it"

>>18106792
That very thing is now an old man who will only age and get weaker. It wouldn't even feel as I'm confronting the same person. Even if "I'm sorry my careless parenting made you the way you are" somehow happened, then what? Our relationship strengthens, but I'm left spineless.

>>18106795
ROTFLOL Ok faggot cya on Xbox live XD

>>18106811
dude you are just coming up with excuses not to do it because you're scared. DOING IT, EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE SCARED, IS THE OPPOSITE OF BEING SPINELESS Christ man, you don't even want help unless its fucking easy huh

OPv is a pussy and deserved every bruise and butthole bash his dad ever gave him.

>>18106830
Ok, I read around and I finally get what you are saying, but How? When? What is a typical example of someone doing this? What if their parent has died before confrontation, there has to be some alternative release.

>>18106836
>Anonymously calls someone a pussy.

>>18106847
>What is a typical example of someone doing this?

Doing what? facing their fear? literally every story ever told.

>What if their parent has died before confrontation, there has to be some alternative release.

sure but, you are not gonna get an answer that easily. a lot of people just suffer until they die

SORT YOURSELF OUT https://youtu.be/XbOeO_frzvg

>>18106868
An example of someone confronting their abusive parent. I've heard this from my psychiatrists, /adv/tards, but I've never actually seen it done. The only reference I have are coming out videos on Youtube.

>>18106878
listen man there is no "HOW TO" guide for this, its a very personal situation. Just be honest and don't run away.

>>18106874
Thank you so much, I'm halfway through and this man is already guiding me more than any idiot on here.

>>18106932
no problem
well yeah hes a tenured psychology professor
guess I should have just posted that right away instead of trying to help you myself.
but also fuck you

>>18106852
>Anonymously cries about his abusive upbringing online.

>>18106655
>how can I change?

You just change. Have you ever watched "Saving Private Ryan"? The translator who was timid and weak willed in the beginning became a merciless killing machine at the end of the movie. It all starts with the decision to change.

>>18106684
When authority demonstrates that it can end your survival, it becomes like an instinctive trait to not provoke figures of authority as a survival mechanism.

OP, as a member of the military, i can tell you: With the RIGHT pressure, any coal can become a diamand. Emphasis on the RIGHT pressure. Step put of your comfort zone and do things you know will improve you. A public speaking class, organise a hiking group on meetup . Com. Maybe take martial arts for a year so you can learn to deal with actual physical confrontation (I don't recommend it for longer than that, just get a gun. I say this as someone who took/taught muay thai for 12 years). In the military, I have been forced out of my comfort zone in ways that improve me many times. I don't like it, but I can't say it wasn't good for me. You don't need to join the military, I am just saying you jeed to force yourself into roles where you can't just stand on the sidelines hoping people with higher testosterone will carry your ass.