Positivity/The Secret/Law of Attraction

>>18106439

You're not going to convince her that having positive people in her life isn't important.

Its not about which mindset is better its just about how people operate differently. She uses positive thinking to manage her stress and you use the piece of mind of contingency plans to manage yours.

You're just two different people who use two different methodologies to make sense of the world. Either you'll both come to respect each other for your differences or break up.

>>18106458
>You're not going to convince her that having positive people in her life isn't important.

It's important of course, but I don't want her to think that just because I'm extremely down in the dumps one day due to a major loss in my life, she needs to break up with me or something.

It's one of the reasons I despised The Fault In Our Stars - I think the dude's name was Isaac. He goes blind and suddenly the girl promising him eternal love ditches his ass immediately. This sort of mentality, in my opinion, was born from this pseudo-scientific bullshit.

>>18106560

Perhaps you should come to consider that you and your girl are just two different people?

If it bugs you this much anon, maybe you should move on.

If you can go to sleep tonight not worrying about it then gratz on that super gf bro

>>18106589
Well yeah, but I'm just wondering if there's a specific way around it that avoids me the need to fight and bitch with her on accepting that bad shit can happen in life and no one's perfect.

I get that girls want a guy who's got his shit together but things like Oprah and The Secret always make it harder and harder to meet those new standards getting rolled out to the girl hivemind, you know? I feel like every once in a while now there's new shit to bicker and bitch about that I didn't know of before and it's usually because of something they might've read or seen from other girls or guys or celebrities.

I don't know. Shit's confusing.

Personally I feel like that mentality can really be damaging when people are confronted with the actual horrors of reality. They don't learn any coping mechanisms other than "staying positive" and can't accept awful things as they come.

Next time you talk to your girlfriend about this, acknowledge that you understand her position and then say "but wouldn't you agree that (INSERT COUNTERPOINT HERE)"

Stay calm but still assertive and she might be willing to budge

>>18106678
I've been doing that the whole time yeah

Only problem is she's clinging on to this idea too much. She's calmed down now and I told her I plan on thinking more positively but that doesn't change the fact it's a ticking time bomb now waiting to blow up when things don't go her way.

>>18106646

Dude, stop. You guys are different. Her perspective is different than yours. Not everyone is interested in your thought process.

So bad shit happens and she prefers to focus on the good, so what? Why does this have to be a matter of right and wrong with you? Who fucking cares if she copes differently than you?

Why is it SO important she ditches her mentality and accepts yours? I mean, yes, there are flaws in her mindset but there are also flaws in yours. There is always room for improvement, for failure and pain. You're both just different, man.

I just don't understand why you can't just chalk this up to differences and let it be. It seems to me like the fact that she doesn't view your mentality as superior is getting under your skin and you're more concerned about being right than you are concerned for her long term well being.

>I get that girls want a guy who's got his shit together but things like Oprah and The Secret always make it harder and harder to meet those new standards getting rolled out to the girl hivemind, you know?

That's bullshit. This only applies if you're dating teenagers or girls who act like teenagers. Either way, it'll be your fault for dating girls who live in fantasies. Living in a fantasy, by the way, is nowhere near an exclusively female issue.

If you really feel that strongly about it, break up. You're not going to mold your girlfriend into someone you like better. She is who she is. Accept it or move on.

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>>18106646

>avoids me the need to fight and bitch with her on accepting that bad shit can happen in life and no one's perfect.

Everyone knows that bad shit can happen in life and no one's perfect. She knows that, she's probably just irritated that every time she tries to be exclusively positive about something you chime in with "BE REALISTIC, WHAT IF SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS??"

Its annoying, man. Let her be. Constantly reminding people of the evil and terrible things that can happen any second of any day and using that as an excuse not dismiss people's occasional blind optimism is being realistic or logical, its just just being irritating.

>>18106721

>that doesn't change the fact it's a ticking time bomb now waiting to blow up when things don't go her way.

Then stop badgering her about it. Just let her be as optimistic or as pessimistic as she wants and stop trying to convince her she's wrong and the ticking time bomb thing will probably let up.

No one wants a downer in their life. It's exhausting.

>>18106765
I was referring to her cutting me out of her life one day due to the belief I might be -a- source of negativity

>>18106764
>Constantly reminding people of the evil and terrible things that can happen any second of any day and using that as an excuse not dismiss people's occasional blind optimism is being realistic or logical, its just just being irritating.

Don't you think the reverse is just as unhealthy? Constantly using optimism to quell the need to address problems and concerns and brush them off as unnecessary negativity.

I mean, do you honestly think fishes are optimistic about the food they found in front of them when there's a shark nearby? Negativity and pessimism allow for planning and contingency, they shouldn't be shut out.

>>18106759

You're missing my problem - I don't want this whole thing to eventually spiral out on its own into "well now you're the only remaining source of negativity in my life now so I need to cut you out".

I could stay quiet about it and play dumb until eventually this is what could possibly happen. That's my concern.

>>18106770
Do you think it's fair to lose out in life just because you were depressed during a certain phase for it?

For example, would you accept that you were fired for being a downer during the time you mourned someone's death?

>>18106439
call her a big fat daffy cunt and find a girl who isn't into wicca or horoscopes

>>18106779
>>18106782
You're just as idealistic as she is if you think you can keep up a facade, just break up with her.

>>18106646
The problem with all of these create your own reality movements is that it doesn't take into account the reality that bad things happen to good/positive people. It becomes a real problem when someone starts to believe that if something bad happens then someone must be to blame for not being positive enough.

>>18107883
Thar's literally, LITERALLY what I'm fighting here.

All these movements create are more gullible bitches willing to drop a lot of good at the first sign of depression or negativity.

>>18106759
>Why is it SO important she ditches her mentality and accepts yours?
I think OP made this thread because his gf told him or made him feel not good enough because of his mindset, not the other way round